by Emily Forbes
‘Reeves?’ her father said. ‘I’ve heard your name before. You rescued Charlotte from the building.’
‘I did.’
‘Thank you.’ He reached for Pat’s hand and shook it. ‘Please, call me Jack. You’re a paramedic, I believe?’
Charli sat in semi-uncomfortable silence and listened to the easy conversation between her father and Pat while they discussed his job as he wheeled her out into the corridor towards the lift. Charli couldn’t remember ever having an easy conversation with her father about anything.
‘Would you like to join us for lunch?’ Her father extended an invitation to Pat.
‘Thank you, but I can’t. Maybe another time.’
Charli wished he would. Maybe then she wouldn’t have to endure a stilted conversation or listen to whatever bad news she was certain her father was going to deliver.
The lift arrived and Pat let her father take over, leaving Charli to wonder what the purpose of Pat’s visit had been.
* * *
Pat was back at the hospital as early as possible the following day. He wanted to check on Charli. He’d sensed she’d been nervous about lunch with her father and he wanted to see her just to make sure she was okay.
He pushed open her hospital door and was confronted by an empty room. There was a travel bag on the bed, clothes folded and set in a pile beside it.
Amy came out of the bathroom, carrying a small cosmetics bag.
‘What’s going on?’ Pat asked just as the door opened behind him. Harriet was holding it as Charli stepped through with the aid of crutches. Pat was surprised. When he’d seen her yesterday, she’d still been using a wheelchair.
‘She’s made good progress,’ the physiotherapist commented when she saw Pat’s expression.
‘The doctors are ready to discharge me,’ Charli added.
‘You can fly?’
‘Not yet. Walking with crutches is enough. Flying is not one of my superpowers.’ She smiled and Pat was relieved. Maybe yesterday’s lunch had gone well.
But his relief was short-lived. If she was recovering physically and emotionally and was ready for discharge, that meant she would be leaving. Leaving the hospital and one step closer to leaving Melbourne. One step closer to being out of his life. ‘Is your father coming to get you?’
She shook her head. ‘No. He’s gone.’
‘Gone where?’
‘Back to England.’
Pat frowned. ‘Without you?’ He had assumed that Jack would stay until Charli was ready to fly. He’d assumed her father would travel with her.
‘That was what lunch was all about.’ Charli glanced at Amy. ‘He was telling us he’s leaving.’
‘Why?’ Pat was totally confused.
‘My stepmother is having complications with the pregnancy. As usual, she trumps me. Us. Dad is concerned because, apparently, Victoria is having twins, which was a bit of information he neglected to pass on initially.’
He could hear the effort she made to keep her tone light but he knew she would be hurting. She’d said enough for him to know that her father’s reserve bothered her, that she felt he had abandoned her on more than one occasion. But he wondered if her father’s departure was as straightforward as Charli believed. All relationships were complicated and he wondered if she was expecting things to be black and white when in reality they were usually shades of grey. He’d seen Jack’s expression when he’d visited Charli and Pat’s opinion was that Jack was a man who felt things but perhaps had learned to keep his emotions hidden.
But Pat knew it wasn’t his place to interfere. He didn’t know their history. He’d only heard one side of the story. And that didn’t change the fact that Jack had left, had returned to England, once again choosing his wife over his daughter, or, as he expected Charli would see it, abandoning her yet again.
He looked at the small pile of her possessions on the bed, reflecting the little she had left in her world. ‘Where are you going to go?’ He turned to Amy. ‘Is she coming to stay with you?’
‘No, I have to head back to Wombat Gully tonight.’
He looked back to Charli, who shrugged her shoulders. ‘I guess I’ll book a hotel room.’
‘I don’t think you’re quite ready to be on your own yet, Charli,’ Harriet said. ‘I know you’re mobile but you are still on crutches.’
Pat looked at the physio. ‘Should she be being discharged then?’
‘She meets the criteria and I think getting out of here would be good. The media are still ringing constantly, wanting an interview, so leaving might avoid that stress.’
He looked at Charli, making a snap decision. ‘You can stay with me.’
‘I couldn’t do that.’
‘Why not?’
‘That sounds like a perfect solution,’ Harriet interrupted. ‘I’ll let the two of you sort out the details and I’ll let the nurses know to start your discharge paperwork.’ She spun on her heel and left the room.
Charli was looking at him warily.
‘What are your objections?’ he asked her.
‘What would you tell your daughter?’ she queried as she sat on the edge of her bed.
‘Don’t worry about Ella,’ he replied as he took the crutches from her and leant them against the wall. ‘My in-laws have taken her interstate to visit her cousins. She won’t be home. But I wasn’t planning on taking you to my house. I have somewhere better in mind. My family has a house in the country. It’s the perfect place for some R and R. There’s no cell phone reception. It will just be the two of us.’
‘I’ve seen that movie, Wolf Creek...’
‘I promise I have honourable intentions.’ While he may have entertained some less-than-honourable thoughts, his intentions were genuine. He wanted to help. They were friends first, and if she wanted to keep it that way he would respect her wishes. He wanted her to feel safe with him.
‘Amy will know where you are. I have four days off. Let me help. What do you think?’
He stepped closer, making a pretence of adjusting the pillows on her bed. Charli wriggled backwards and he scooped her legs up, lifting them for her. She was wearing a pair of gym shorts and her legs were virtually bare. His forearm was under her thighs, skin against bare skin. He was deliberately testing the water, testing her reaction. He saw her pupils dilate. He knew she felt the same connection. Whenever he held her in his arms he never wanted to let her go. She was casting a spell and he was falling under it, fast. It was good for his ego to know he was having a similar effect on her too.
‘Would you like to run away with me?’
She smiled and his heart flipped. He knew she was going to say yes.
‘I think that sounds wonderful.’
‘Pat?’ Amy’s voice surprised him. He’d forgotten she was also in the room. ‘Could you give us a minute?’
* * *
Amy waited until Pat left the room but Charli could tell from her sister’s expression that she was about to get the third degree.
‘Do you think this is a good idea?’ Amy asked.
‘What?’
‘Going to stay with Pat.’
‘I don’t see the problem?’
‘You don’t think this is another knee-jerk reaction?’
‘A knee-jerk reaction? To what?’
Amy sighed. ‘To everything that has happened. To you being trapped. To Hugo’s behaviour. To Dad leaving so quickly. I worry that every time Dad disappoints you, you try to find someone who will stay by your side, but you have to admit your choices haven’t always been great. Wouldn’t you be better off coming with me? I’m going to stay with Daniel, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you stayed too.’
‘I think he might,’ Charli retorted, ‘but anyway I can’t go back to Wombat Gully. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I don’t think I could bear it.’
‘I j
ust don’t want to see you get hurt again. I know you’re attracted to Pat but I don’t want you to think he is the answer.’
‘To what?’
‘To giving you a safe haven.’
‘That’s not what this is,’ she replied. ‘It’s fine, it’s not for ever. I’m not expecting it to be for ever. I’m supposed to be home to start my GP training in a few weeks.’
‘Are you sure? You don’t think you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position?’
‘What does that mean?’
Amy raised her hands in protest when she saw Charli’s expression. ‘Don’t get me wrong,’ she clarified. ‘I really like him, but he has plenty of baggage and so do you. He’s a single dad, he’s got lots of other commitments and responsibilities. You’re still recovering from your ordeal, physically and emotionally. Do you think staying with him is wise? Would you stay with him if you weren’t attracted to him?’
She knew she wouldn’t but if she lied she also knew that Amy would see straight through her. ‘I’d probably ask Harriet if there were any other options,’ she admitted.
‘Are you strong enough to handle things if they go wrong again? I’m not saying they will, but you need to at least consider that.’
Charli hesitated. Amy had a point. She did tend to romanticise things—people and situations—but she had spent a lot of time thinking about her life while she’d been trapped. About her mother and father. About her stepmother. About Hugo.
After her mother had died and their father had remarried, she had felt as though all she’d had left in the world was Amy. It had been the two of them alone. All she’d wanted was to feel loved and cared for, to feel important to someone, and she had spent most of her life looking for that person.
She knew now that she’d thrown herself into her relationship with Hugo without stopping to examine if he was right for her. She’d been so desperate to belong to someone that it hadn’t mattered whether or not he was perfect for her—all that had mattered was that he showed her interest and attention. But their relationship hadn’t been enough for him. She hadn’t been enough for him. She was never enough for anyone.
She couldn’t believe she’d been so naïve as to think Hugo had been the one for her. She couldn’t believe that it had taken this crazy situation to give her some perspective on her life and on her own behaviour. Because she couldn’t lay all the blame at Hugo’s feet. She had to take some responsibility or risk making the same mistakes over and over again. She had made a promise to herself while she’d been trapped that when she got out she would focus on her career. Hopefully that would be something she could control, and she would take a break from trying to find the perfect relationship.
‘I’m not looking for someone to run off into the sunset with,’ she said. ‘This will just be for a few days. As soon as I can fly I’ll be going home.’
She wasn’t planning on staying indefinitely. This time she would be the one leaving, on her terms. She couldn’t deny she was attracted to Patrick but she was convinced she could handle it.
* * *
Charli slept most of the way while Pat drove, and only woke up when he bumped over a cattle grate as he turned off the bitumen and onto a rough, potholed dirt road. Sheep grazed in the paddocks on either side of the road and ahead of her a lake glistened in the afternoon light.
The view was breath-taking. Rolling green hills, plump white sheep, stately eucalyptus trees and the dark blue of the lake all nestled under a clear blue winter sky. ‘This is where you grew up?’
This wasn’t what she’d expected when Pat had asked her to run away with him. This idyllic, secluded spot. Her heart raced with a mixture of nervousness and anticipation.
She had been on an emotional roller-coaster ever since the disaster, and her father’s most recent abandonment to support his wife had reopened past wounds. She was exhausted, tired of thinking about her father, tired of being in pain, tired of constantly refusing interview requests. Even while she’d been forced to admit that perhaps Amy had a point, she hadn’t been able to refuse Pat’s offer of a place to stay.
Maybe it was a place to run and hide. Maybe running away was becoming a thing for her. She’d chosen a medical school far from home so she’d have to live in. She’d chosen to run to Amy rather than face a showdown with Hugo. Each time someone let her down, that was her response. But she enjoyed Pat’s company, she enjoyed the way he made her feel, and she hadn’t wanted to refuse his invitation. Maybe she was running away again but she’d made her decision. She was in Pat’s car and about to spend a few days alone with him.
She wondered what the next few days would bring. Would it give them the time and space she wanted, needed, to explore the possibilities between them?
She swallowed nervously and took a deep breath as Pat nodded and turned in behind a weatherboard house that sat on a rise overlooking the lake. It was painted cream with a grey tin roof and wide steps led up to verandas which wrapped around three sides. Vines crawled up the veranda posts and a post-and-rail fence protected the garden beds from the grazing sheep.
‘Are those your sheep?’
Pat shook his head. ‘My parents leased the land to one of the neighbours when they moved to Melbourne. The sheep are his.’
He switched the engine off and Charli opened her door. Pat handed her the crutches as she swung her legs out of the car.
He had their bags in his hands. ‘I’ll come back for you and help you with the stairs,’ he said. ‘Just let me open up.’
‘I can manage. Harriet wouldn’t let me be discharged unless I could negotiate steps.’
She swung her legs out of the car and stood up. The air was crisp and cool but it felt good to be outside. It had been over a week and a half since she’d last breathed fresh air. Her feet were still swollen but the pain was manageable if she could keep her legs elevated. It wasn’t far to the house. She’d put her feet up again when she was inside. She knew she wasn’t able to be a useful house guest, given that she couldn’t stand for long, but she’d try not to be a nuisance.
Taking the stairs slowly and carefully, she entered through the front door, which opened directly into a large, open living space with the kitchen at one end. The floorboards were strewn with large rugs delineating the different spaces—living and dining—and the windows all looked out towards the lake. Enormous, overstuffed couches sat in front of a large stone fireplace in the living area.
The house was cool but there were plenty of blankets draped over the couches and fresh logs had been stacked in the fireplace grate, just waiting for someone to strike a match. Bookcases were built in on either side of the fireplace filled with books, board games, old vinyl records and jigsaw puzzles. Despite the fact that the house was now only used for holidays and weekend getaways, it had a welcoming feeling. Charli could imagine that Pat’s childhood here had been a happy one.
She followed behind him as he gave her a brief tour. Behind the living room were several bedrooms and a couple of bathrooms. He put her bag in the room closest to the bathroom. The double bed in the centre was easily big enough for two but Charli noticed, with some disappointment, that he took his bag to a second room across the hall. Maybe that was just as well, she chided herself as Amy’s warning replayed in her head. After all, she had sworn off relationships.
He boiled the kettle for tea and directed Charli to a chair set beside the fire. The chair was angled to look out over the view through the large windows down to the lake. A wooden jetty jutted out over the water and a rope swing hung in a gum tree near a fire pit.
‘What is the name of the lake?’ she asked.
‘Lake Eildon.’
‘It’s beautiful. This must have been an incredible place to grow up.’
‘It was brilliant. My brother and I had an adventurous childhood. Swimming, fishing, water-skiing in summer and snow-skiing in winter. Wombat Gully is only an hour
away.’
‘This is the brother who gave you that scar under your eye? Is he older or younger than you?’
‘Three years younger.’
She sipped her tea. ‘How long did you live here?’
‘Until I was twelve. We moved to Melbourne when I started high school.’
‘But your parents kept the house here?’
‘We spent our holidays here. Summer and winter. I’m glad they kept it. I have fabulous memories of growing up here and I want Ella to have the opportunity to experience this lifestyle as well. It’s harder now, being a single parent, but I have a lot of support from my parents.’ Pat struck a match and Charli tried not to stare at his backside as the denim of his jeans stretched taut across it as he bent over to light the fire. ‘Are you okay there for a bit?’ he asked as he straightened up. ‘I just want to chop some more wood.’
‘I’m fine, thanks.’ There was a pile of magazines on a small table beside her chair and Charli flicked through a couple as she drank her tea but her concentration was interrupted by the sound of Pat’s axe splitting wood.
The view through the windows was incredible but Charli was restless. She’d been in the car for a few hours and cooped up in hospital for days before that. She’d had enough of being inside and on her own. She wanted to be outside. She wanted to be with Pat.
She grabbed her crutches and went out and sat on the veranda. Pat had his back to her and she watched, almost mesmerised, as he swung the axe. Despite the cool temperature of the day he had stripped off his shirt and the muscles in his back and arms were slick with sweat, gleaming in the late afternoon light. She watched his hands where they gripped the axe and remembered when he’d held her with those same hands. How warm they’d felt. How safe they’d made her feel.
He split the last log and started to throw the smaller pieces into a pile beside the fire pit. He turned and saw her watching him. He winked at her but didn’t stop. Charli felt her nerves settle. She felt like this was where she was supposed to be. Here, with him.
