by Diana Urban
That’s when I knew I couldn’t convince her.
Of everything I said, she’d latched on to the bit about her. But how could the queen of everything think so little of herself? I tilted my head. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t . . . you don’t know what I’ve been through. The pressure I’ve been under. You have no idea—” She blinked furiously. I’d seen her mother pressure her to focus on her schoolwork. But that was no excuse for the lies, or the bullying. “For the past few years I’ve worked so hard to get into Harvard. I still haven’t heard back. Even after everything I do, it’s never enough.”
“Sasha, you’re going to be successful no matter what school you go to. You’ve already gotten into Brown, and hell, you’ll probably get into Harvard. And even if you don’t, you’ll be fine. I’ve never met someone so driven in my life, and I’m pretty damned determined when it comes to my music, so that’s saying a lot.”
“That’s why I love you.” Her lips flickered into a smile. “You’re the only person I’ve met who reminds me of, well, me.”
Her words hit me like a thousand bricks to the forehead. I was nothing like Sasha. Nothing.
Or was I?
I gripped the edges of my laptop as the reality of what I’d done flooded my mind. I hadn’t bullied or manipulated anyone in my quest to score the school play. But I betrayed my parents’ trust—and my teachers’ trust—to sway the drama club with booze. I drove away my best friend, and let her be bullied. I lied to Dad and applied early decision to USC. Yes, I’d gotten into my dream school. But at what cost? What if I’d become more like Sasha than I realized?
“Hey, guys.” Maria collapsed in Sasha’s abandoned seat across the table. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere—”
“Girls!” Mrs. Burr’s face was now bright red, and it looked like she was about to spontaneously combust. “If you don’t keep it down, I’m kicking you out!”
Sorry! Maria mouthed.
“Oh, hey,” Sasha whispered, releasing my hand. She rubbed her eyes like she was tired, trying to rid them of tears. “I’ve been meaning to ask you when we’re gonna stock up for next weekend. Zane’s parents are out of town again.” Her words flitted in and out of my ears as I reeled from the truth. What had I done? I had to fix this.
“There is no we. Unfortunately,” said Maria. “I’m going on that stupid cruise with my family next week, remember? I’ll be gone for two weeks; they’re pulling me out of school the week after President’s Day, too.”
“Dammit, that’s right!”
“Why is that a bad thing?” I asked Maria, though Sasha’s words repeated on a loop in my mind, like a recording I couldn’t turn off. “You get to miss a whole week of school. And a cruise sounds amazing.”
Maria scoffed. “Yeah, it’s amazing to be stuck on a boat with your parents and grandparents and annoying cousins for two whole weeks.” She groaned. “My mom’s got all this lame stuff planned for all of us, too . . . origami lessons, water aerobics, Escape the Room. Ugh. Besides, we’re almost done with Brewster forever. I don’t want to miss that much of our last few months.”
“You won’t miss much if we can’t get our hands on some booze,” muttered Sasha.
Maria pouted. “Get Nat to pick some up. She’s coming home this weekend, right?”
“Who’s Nat?” I asked. The familiarity of the name prickled the back of my neck.
“My big sister,” said Sasha. “And no, she’s not anymore. The actress she’s understudy for has the flu, so she’s taking over her performances for the next few days. Can’t you snatch some booze for us before you go? Just a few handles?”
“Are you kidding me? After last month?” Maria shook her head. “No way.”
“What happened last month?” I asked, my mind still reeling.
“Oh, gawd, how do you not know this?” said Maria. “We did a booze run at the Chesterfield one Saturday morning. I’d heard my dad say he was keeping a few extra handles of Jack Daniel’s in the supply closet, and I wanted to snag one. So this bitch and I went in there”—she thumbed at Sasha—“and she let the door close like an idiot.”
“Go to hell,” Sasha said with a smirk.
“We were stuck in that closet for a half hour until Mom came to open up.”
“Thank God it wasn’t longer. I was so bored, I thought I was going to die,” said Sasha. “If I had a gun, I literally would have shot myself. Anyway, I have to pee. Be right back.”
She left, leaving Maria and me alone at our table. “The things she’ll do for booze.” Maria rolled her eyes. “I’m not getting grounded again because she wants to get plastered. I miss when she’d make you get it for us.”
I frowned. “I only got booze for the drama club.”
She chortled. “Right.”
My eyes widened at her reaction. I thought of how Sasha lied to both me and the drama club to get those singing numbers she wanted. What if . . . “No.”
“What?”
I leaned forward and whispered, “That time she said the drama club was coming to Zane’s party, but then they didn’t show up . . .”
Maria rubbed her lips together. “I don’t think I should—”
“Tell me!” I rasped.
She rolled her eyes again. “Alright, fine. She never invited them. She laughed about how gullible you were. That you’d do anything to score the play.”
“But . . . at the winter ball . . .”
Maria shook her head. “Asher and Dan don’t even drink.”
I remembered Asher setting his untouched cup on the piano. It felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. Bile shot up my throat, and I clasped a hand over my mouth.
“Oh, don’t worry,” said Maria. “She loves you for giving her the chance to beat me.” Her words came out sharp and bitter. “She was always so jealous that I got to play the lead. I know that’s why she agreed to let you score the play. So she could finally be the star.” She made jazz hands. “And then you went and added those stupid songs, and she got to sing after all.”
Oh my God. Maria didn’t even know Sasha was the one who wanted the songs.
Sasha tricked me all along. The booze. The play. The songs. Priya. She’d betrayed me at every turn. It was no wonder she’d warmed to me so quickly—she was using me. She pretended to be kind, when she was vile. She pretended she was helping me, when all she wanted was the limelight for herself. Why did she even set me up with Robbie? Maybe she only wanted to pull him and Zane apart, so Zane would spend more time with her.
Now I knew the truth. Sasha couldn’t be reasoned with. She was a liar. A fraud. She’d destroyed my friendship with Priya, and she nearly destroyed everything I worked for.
Someone had to stop her. Someone had to make things right.
And it had to be me.
9 Minutes Left
I reached the syringe first. It was slick with Robbie’s sweat. I brandished it at Sasha, and she backed away, her eyes widening.
“Why?” I asked, choking back a sob.
“Why what?” Sasha hissed. We’d run out of time because Sasha repeatedly sent us spiraling into panic mode. We could have found a way out of here if we’d worked together the whole time. But she was so selfish, we weren’t even a half hour in before she was suggesting who to kill.
“Why are you like this? How are you so willing to kill someone? I just need to understand the mechanics behind how your brain works, because I don’t fucking get it,” I snarled. Sasha’s jaw clenched. “And it’s not just tonight. Even out there.” I jabbed my finger at the door. “You’ll lie, cheat, betray your friends . . . you’ll do whatever it takes to get your way.
“But why? Why are you like this?” I was yelling now. “You were already Ivy League–bound, but you took drugs to cheat your way to the top. You were already salutatorian, but you wanted to sabotage Diego. You were already captain of the cheerleading squad, but you ridiculed Priya and made her feel worthless. You were already director of the drama club, a
nd you lied to everyone to steal the limelight.”
Her mouth dropped open.
“Yes, I know what you did. I know how you manipulated me, and the whole drama club, so you could be the prima donna you always wanted to be. That’s why you suspected Maria first, right? Because you basically stole the lead role from her!”
Sasha’s wide eyes got moist and red. She must never have expected me to find out the truth.
“And I could go on and on. You’ll do whatever it takes to beat everyone else at literally everything, even if it means hurting everyone around you . . . even if it means hurting yourself! Why? What the hell is the point?”
“Because I couldn’t be the one thing I wanted to be!” She clasped her mouth and shook her head, and the corners of her eyes crinkled like she was about to start sobbing. “Since I was four years old, I spent hours and hours training to be an Olympic gymnast. My mom quit her job to be my coach. And when I qualified for the national championships, I thought I was destined for a gold medal. It was everything I lived for—breathed for.
“And then I got into that horrible car accident and busted my leg. I had to give it all up. All that time my mother and I put in . . . all of it was for nothing. After that, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, or who I wanted to be. It was like I didn’t know who I was anymore. You have no idea what that’s like. To lose everything in an instant. None of you have any idea.”
I remembered that time Sasha’s mother caught us playing Fortnite, and asked Sasha how she could waste any more of her time. Now it all made sense. “So then . . . you wanted to be the best at everything.”
“Wouldn’t you?” Sasha spat. “I’d spent all those years focusing on just one thing, and look where it got me.”
My heart hammered in my chest. I wanted to kick myself for not figuring this out sooner. Maria and Amy mentioned her car crash that first day I’d asked Sasha to score the play. It wasn’t just pressure from her mother. It was because she’d lost everything she once strove for. How had I not seen it myself?
But it still didn’t explain one thing.
Priya beat me to the punch. “That doesn’t explain why you treat everyone like shit.”
Sasha’s moment of redemption went as fast as it came, and her expression turned to stone. “Didn’t you hear anything I just said? I did whatever I had to. And dammit, I’ll do whatever it takes to get out of here alive. Whatever it takes.”
Wow. It was one thing to have lofty goals—admirable, even—but it was another to intentionally crush everyone else to achieve them. My blood boiled as I glared at her. Despite the pain she’d endured and dreams she’d lost, she didn’t care about who she hurt, whether in here or out in the real world. If there was anyone who didn’t deserve to walk out of this room, it was her.
“Well, now you’re going to listen to me.” I glanced at my watch, the syringe tight in my grip. Eight minutes left. “We’re going to figure this out. Together.”
“No—” Sasha took a step closer, but I waved the syringe from side to side, and she backed off.
“Listen. We’re going to give this one last shot before we take someone’s life. We’re going to try my idea, or so help me God, the next person to flip out on me is going to get this poison in their bloodstream and that will be that.”
I didn’t mean it, of course. But they didn’t need to know that.
How the hell had it come to this?
All of my life, I blasted movie scores into my skull, attempting to make everyday life more dramatic. Now I stood pointing a syringe at the people I once called my friends, wishing more than anything I could get back to my mundane life. This wasn’t how things were supposed to happen.
Priya took a quick intake of air, her eyes darting between Sasha and me. “So how do we do this?”
“We’ll act this out,” I whispered. “We’ll pretend to inject someone. They’ll drop to the floor and convulse and stuff, and the rest of us will freak out and pretend it’s real.”
Sasha crossed her arms and laughed her haughty laugh. “That’ll never work!”
“Shhhh,” I said. “Keep your voice down.”
Scott flicked Priya’s leg and motioned for her to bring over the nearest chair. She dragged it over. “Help me up,” he said.
“What’re you doing?” I said.
“I’m not sitting here like some useless moron anymore.”
Priya and Diego each grabbed one of Scott’s arms and helped him stand. He gasped. “Oh, God. Fuck.” But he stayed upright. He hobbled on his good foot, using the chair like a crutch under his arm while letting his bad foot hover above the floor.
“You guys.” Sasha pointed at the china cabinet to the right of the fireplace. “This isn’t going to work—” A bunch of us cut her off with sharp shushing noises. She lowered her voice, but barely. “Oh, please, they can see us talking. They probably know we’re up to something. And they’ll see if you don’t push down the plunger!”
“Whoever does it can hide it from the camera,” said Diego. “I’m sure they won’t see. That’s no high-res camera in there. We’ll check their pulse after they stop convulsing, make it convincing.” Robbie still sat on the floor rubbing the tears from his face, but he didn’t argue.
“Exactly,” I said. Priya and Scott nodded.
Robbie rubbed his lips together, contemplating this for a moment. Finally, he nodded and stood. “Let’s give it a shot. But we have to move fast.”
“No!” Sasha stomped her foot. “You idiots! We’re all going to die!”
But everyone ignored her. “We’ll know one way or another before the timer runs out,” said Robbie.
“Yeah,” agreed Diego. “We’ll have to expose the bomb so we can see if the timer stops.” That would mean carefully lifting the stack of drawers and pulling out a few of them, so the timer would be visible again. “C’mon, it’s out of view of the camera.” Robbie joined him at the fireplace.
“What if it does explode? Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose of putting it in there?” Sasha continued her protestations to nobody in particular. “This won’t work.”
“Shut up!” Scott shout-whispered. The rest of us ignored her.
“Who’s going to fake die?” whispered Priya, ignoring Sasha.
Scott stepped toward me, scooting the chair along with him. “Dammit,” he yelled, giving me a pointed look. “You assholes have had it out for me from the beginning.”
I nodded slightly and raised the syringe, aiming the needle toward his left biceps, keeping the syringe out of the camera’s view. “Sasha’s right. It’s too late now. This is the only way out. We have no choice!”
Diego carefully lifted the top couple drawers as Robbie slid a few out near the top of the stack, lowering the bomb. The timer was now in clear view.
“I’m so sorry, Scott,” I said, trying to sound convincing. “I never wanted to do this—”
“This isn’t going to work.” Sasha tugged at her hair. “We only have five minutes left!”
“On the count of three,” I whispered to Scott, “lunge at me. Then fall.”
Scott furrowed his brow, pretending to look angry. “You can’t do this!” Then he added in a low voice, “One.”
“Do it!” cried Robbie.
“No!” Scott shouted, hobbling closer. Priya shrieked and knelt near the door, covering her eyes.
“Guys!” Sasha cried. “If this doesn’t work, they won’t believe us when we kill someone for real. Then we’ll all die anyway.”
I ignored her. “Two.” I drew my arm back, like I was readying to stab Scott, feigning fear that he was about to tackle me. “Get away!” I screamed. “Don’t come any closer—Sasha, no!” Before I could say three, before Scott could lunge at me, Sasha launched herself at Scott, wrapping her hands around his throat. Taken by surprise, Scott toppled back, and Sasha sailed with him, maintaining her grip.
Robbie rushed toward them—whether to help or to stop her, I didn’t know—but tripped over a chair, blocking
anyone else from interfering. Sasha bared her teeth and grunted as she struggled to hold Scott down. At nearly six feet tall, he usually could overpower her, but with his oxygen supply diminishing, and the pain of his injured ankle, it seemed he couldn’t find the strength. He clawed at Sasha’s wrists, his eyes bulging as his face started turning purple, and he made gagging and gargling noises as his lungs strained for air.
My mind flashed back to Maggie’s death. Her purple face. The gurgling in her throat.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.
And then everything happened at once. Diego and Priya leapt over Robbie’s sprawling form and hauled Sasha off of Scott.
“What are you doing?” Robbie climbed to his knees and shook Sasha by her shoulders. “We had a plan! We might’ve had a chance!”
“It’d never have worked!” Sasha cried. “Don’t you see that?”
Robbie released her and backed away. “We could’ve pulled it off. How would they know Scott wasn’t really dead?”
“Since when are you willing to risk that?” she cried as Diego helped pull Scott to a seated position. “We could just kill him and be done with it! Why the hell are you on their side now?”
“Because I’m not a complete monster!” Robbie yelled.
Sasha’s face fell, and her eyes widened. “And I am?” Her voice wavered and cracked. Robbie’s silence spoke volumes. He just stood there shaking his head, like he suddenly realized he didn’t know her at all. Tears brimmed in Sasha’s eyes. “You think I’m a monster.”
“You are!” Priya and Diego screamed in unison.
“You are a fucking monster,” Scott said hoarsely, massaging his throat. “You’ve been hell-bent on killing me since this started.”
“And me,” said Priya.
Diego shook his head. “And me.”
Sasha gripped the sides of her head. “I only wanted to get out of here alive.”
My heart clenched. Despite everything, I almost felt bad for her. She was finally starting to realize how terrible she’d been, but it was too little, too late.
