“It’s okay, Ma. Maybe you can visit sometime, or maybe I’ll get better for good and be back before you know it.”
Her mother nodded as they pulled apart, but looked as if she highly doubted it. Emilia turned swiftly and crossed the platform to the huge metal beast waiting for her and pulled herself up into the train car.
If she waited any longer, she knew she wouldn’t be able to make herself leave.
She found an empty seat and scooted in near the window, stashing her smaller suitcase beside her feet.
A few moments later her uncle joined her, placing her other suitcase in the aisle beside them. “It’ll get easier, it’s never easy to leave family the first time,” he said after a moment of awkwardness.
Emilia nodded. “I know. Thank you.”
Surprisingly, her uncle’s kind words made her feel a little better.
She stared out the window to where her mother and sister were standing. Ma had her arm around Mary’s shoulders and a sad, haunted look on her face. Emilia wondered if this really was the best thing, and she wondered if her family would be okay without her.
Maybe they would be better than ever and would hardly notice that she was gone. The train lurched forward and, with a loud prolonged whistle, began to gather speed. Steam covered the windows for a moment, obstructing her view, and then they were off to Texas. There was no turning back now, no matter how much Emilia might want to.
She waved at the retreating figures of her loved ones until they were little dark specks on the horizon. She knew they couldn’t see her anymore, but she liked to think that they were waving, too.
Finally, all traces of the town disappeared altogether, and they were soon traveling through a tangle of woods and rocks that went by in a blur. Raindrops made slanted lines on the cold glass window, and Emilia watched as the drops slid across the glass and disappeared only to be replaced by new ones.
Emilia rested her head against her elbow and placed her elbow on the windowsill. Soon, she felt drowsy. Closing her eyes, she begged sleep to come and take her back home, where she wished she could have stayed.
---*---
“Miss?”
Emilia looked up from the window to see her uncle’s seat empty beside her.
She shook her head slightly to clear the fog from sleeping and tried to figure out who had woken her up. Standing in the aisle, beside her uncle’s empty seat, was a man.
He was giving her a confused, almost awkward look.
“Yes, um, can I help you?” Emilia’s hands twisted around each other as she tried to keep her nervousness at bay.
“I was wondering if this seat is taken.”
“Yes, yes, it is. I mean, there’s someone sitting there. Not right now, but he’ll be back. My uncle, he’s sitting there.”
Emilia could feel her cheeks heating with every word she said. Why couldn’t she manage to sound normal?
“It’s no problem, miss. I’ll find another seat.” The gentleman looked quite agreeable and, with a tip of his hat, disappeared down the hallway—to find another seat, Emilia guessed.
She looked down at her hands and realized they were shaking slightly, and she felt all trembly. She felt so uncomfortable dealing with new people and realized that perhaps staying home all the time had been bad for her, after all. Mary had told her often that it was a problem that she never went out and met other people, but she just hadn’t been able to overcome her insecurity.
It had been a while since she’d been in a situation like this, where she was all alone. She wondered what had happened with her uncle. He was supposed to be accompanying her and yet he was nowhere in sight.
She didn’t have to wait long for him to come back.
“Are you all right? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”
Emilia managed to nod. “I—there was a man asking about your seat.”
“You don’t have to be afraid to talk to people, you know. They don’t know you here. And they won’t bite.”
Emilia found herself surprised. She hadn’t known that her uncle was aware of how people in town had treated her.
“I guess I’m just used to assuming that people will always say something about Pa. I…” Emilia trailed off. She knew it must sound quite silly to her uncle.
She shouldn’t be so worried about what people thought. She should be bold like her sister, confident that if people had a problem, it was with themselves.
“It’s okay. You’ll learn with time. I think this was a very brave thing for your mother to do. There is nothing like going off on your own to teach you about what the world has to offer. If you stay in your hometown forever, you will never learn that you can stand on your own two feet.”
Emilia nodded again. She wasn’t sure what her uncle meant about her mother being brave. She was the one that had to endure this horrid trip. Across the aisle from them, a young woman had sat down with two children.
Cautiously, Emilia watched them out of the corner of her eye, trying not to show that she was interested in what they were doing.
The mother was telling something to the little boy, and the little girl was leaning up against her, a sleepy look on her face.
Emilia wondered where their father was. It was always extra sad for her to see a family without a father.
“At the next stop, we’ll get off and have something to eat there at the station,” her uncle said, interrupting her thoughts. “You must be starved.”
Now that he mentioned it, her stomach rumbled, reminding her she hadn’t eaten anything since that morning. She had been much too distraught to have lunch before they’d gone to the train station.
Emilia watched as bushes and trees slowly gave way to open fields and a farm appeared here and there. Barns and animals passed by in the windows and, eventually, a medium-sized town took shape. It was a little smaller than Desmond, Ohio, but it was still of a decent size.
There were shops and houses and lots of people milling around. Emilia was sure that more would be getting on the train to fill the empty seats. She surveyed people from afar, almost in a sort of trance, hoping they wouldn’t notice her curiosity.
All the different people intrigued her. She liked to imagine what it would be like to know them, to be their friend like she was friends with Mary. Of course, she knew that it wasn’t possible.
Emilia would never be brave enough to go and talk to them or start a conversation, but it was still nice to imagine what they might be like.
She saw a man with cowboy boots and spurs and a red bandana sitting up ahead in the car. She had heard of cowboys living further out west but had never seen one for herself. She had to remind herself not to stare. He noticed her gaze and winked, tipping his large hat to her. Her cheeks burned in embarrassment at having been caught looking at him.
When the train stopped, her uncle led her through the crowd that was smothering the train platform. They had a couple of hours, according to the conductor, before they would be continuing.
It was fascinating to watch the steam puffing from the engine. Huge plumes of smoke went up into the sky, disappearing into the clouds. The train hissed loudly as it released steam and the whistle was deafening.
The diner that her uncle chose was small but full of people. There was laughter and happy voices all around Emilia as they sat down and waited for their food.
“So, are you going to come with me all the way to my aunt’s home?” Emilia was fairly certain her mother had said that her uncle wouldn’t be taking her all the way, but she wanted to know exactly what the plan was.
Emilia liked to feel in control as much as possible. Since she knew she couldn’t possibly have any control over her current situation, at least she could find out what was going to happen to her.
“No, I’ll be leaving you at the next station to continue on alone. Don’t worry, though, you’ll just stay on the train for a couple of hours until it stops in Plainsview and your aunt Carolyn will pick you up there.”
“What’s Aunt Caro
lyn like?” Emilia had sometimes heard stories of her mother growing up with her uncle and Aunt Carolyn, but she’d heard a lot less than she would have liked about her aunt’s temperament.
“She’s a fine woman. You’ll like her. Of the three of us, she was always the most playful. When we were children, we had a grand time. She was always pulling pranks on us.” A look of sadness played in her uncle’s eyes.
“Why did she go west?”
“Her husband wanted to go west, so she followed him. They had their children there and a happy life together.”
“What happened to her husband?”
“He died, only a couple years ago, in an accident on the farm. Nothing anyone could control, just a tragedy.”
Emilia bit her lower lip for a moment. “Why did Aunt Carolyn stay in the west after her husband died?”
Her uncle took a long sip of his coffee. “Never mind. That’s enough questions for today. You can ask anything to your heart's content when you get there.”
Emilia nodded and took the last few bites of food remaining on her plate, finishing everything off. She was sure the food was delicious, but she had hardly tasted it because she had been so filled with curiosity.
She couldn’t stop thinking about what Mary and her mother were eating, or if they were missing her. She wondered if Mary had already written her a letter, and her own hand itched to write one, too, telling her sister how empty everything was without her even though she hadn’t even arrived yet.
She watched as her uncle paid the bill, and then they wove back through the platform to the train. She tried to keep up with him, darting between the many people and trying not to bump into them. People were beginning to board and a few were crying as they waved goodbye to loved ones.
Emilia’s throat squeezed tightly as she remembered saying goodbye to her own mother and sister. As she stepped into the train, her foot caught on the last step and she tumbled forward, knocking into a fellow passenger.
Once she was able to catch herself and stand once more, she saw that the young woman she had run into was about her own age.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to run into you.” Emilia averted her eyes, waiting for the young woman to lash out or yell at her. But she didn’t.
“Nonsense! Don’t be sorry. It happens to everyone. Getting through the crowd onto the train is always the first challenge on a trip.” The girl's voice was clear and bright. It reminded Emilia of her mother’s singing in the mornings. “My name’s Janie, what about you?”
“I’m—I’m Emilia.” She watched the young woman cautiously, waiting to see when she would tell her that her kind behavior was some sort of trick. But she didn’t. Instead, when Emilia’s uncle stepped up beside her, Janie extended her hand in greeting.
“It’s so nice to meet you, sir. I was wondering if you would mind if Emilia and I sat together for a bit. It would be so wonderful to have the company.”
Emilia hoped her uncle would say no. She didn’t want to sit near Janie only to have something go wrong. Someone like Janie couldn’t possibly want to be friends with someone sickly like Emilia.
“I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. I’ll be getting off soon, anyway, and she will be traveling on alone for a couple of hours. It would be great if she had a new friend to pass the time with.” Her uncle’s voice made her wince. It seemed that she would be sitting beside Janie for the rest of the trip.
Chapter 4
Emilia glanced over at Janie. After sitting together for the last hour, Emilia had excused herself, saying she was tired and needed to rest.
The truth was, she wasn’t sure about Janie just yet. She had a feeling she would get to know her, though.
“So, how did your time go with Janie? If you’d like, I can move, and she can come to sit here with you.” Her uncle was staring at her intensely.
“No, no. I wouldn’t like to be rude and sleep in front of her, and I’m feeling quite tired.”
“You know, you don’t have to be afraid to make friends. She might be just the person you need to help you with your trip.”
Emilia nodded, but she didn’t need help. She didn’t need someone to be her friend for just a little while. Maybe Janie would just forget the conversation they’d shared, and they could just go their separate ways.
Emilia leaned up against the window and stared outside. Most of the trees had disappeared, replaced with open, empty plains dotted with scrubby bushes and odd prickly-looking plants.
Dusk was falling, casting an almost eerie light over the landscape. It seemed like an entirely different world from the one she had left. The train had grown quite hot over the last several hours, and she wondered if she would ever get used to the heat.
She forced her eyes closed and tried to rest, but sleep wouldn’t come. She kept thinking about the next station, where her uncle would be getting off and she would no longer have him to fill the seat next to her.
After what seemed like an eternity, the train began to slow to a stop. She looked out the window, but it was nearly too dark to see. She sat up and glanced around.
“Sorry, I was going to let you sleep,” her uncle said. “This is my stop.”
Emilia’s heart began to beat faster. “You were just going to leave without saying goodbye?”
“No, I guess. I don’t know.” He looked nervous and uncomfortable. “The important thing is you’re awake now. Just stay on the train. There’s one more stop, but you won’t get off there. The train may sit for a few minutes or hours, though; I’m not sure how long they break there. Then, when the conductor calls Plainsview, Texas, that’s where you’ll get off.”
“Plainsview, Texas,” Emilia whispered the name. She said it over and over again in her head, determined not to forget it.
“You’re going to do fine. Your aunt will be there at the station, and probably will bring your cousins. Just stay in your seat until then. Don’t get off the train until Plainsview,” he repeated. “You’ll do fine.” With that, her uncle stood and pulled his bag from under the seat.
Emilia thought about just watching him leave, but she felt as though she should say something. “Th-Thank you for bringing me this far,” she managed.
“No problem. We’ll see each other again soon. I’ll visit, maybe.” Her uncle gave a tight smile and looked at her awkwardly, like he was uncertain whether he should leave her there. Finally, he gave a final nod and turned away.
Emilia watched him walk down the hallway of the train car and then followed his figure with her eyes as it mingled into the crowd on the platform.
She felt so alone and so vulnerable. What if someone strange sat next to her? What if she didn’t know how to answer a question? Was she supposed to pay more money?
She thought about running after her uncle and asking him, but she was fairly certain she wouldn’t be able to find him in the crowd.
The train began to move again before Emilia could make up her mind. “Can I sit here now? I saw that your uncle left. I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to be all alone.” A soft voice made Emilia turn back to the aisle.
Janie was standing there, an almost concerned look on her face. Emilia did not want Janie to sit down next to her. If she did, then Emilia would feel as if they had to continue talking and she didn’t know what to say.
But then her eye caught the line of people getting on the train. What if some strange man sat next to her and tried to have a conversation with her? No, Janie was a much better option.
An Enduring Love to Heal Her: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 3
