Derek had never received mail from someone who had passed away, but he could imagine well enough what it was like. His heart ached for his friend. “I wondered why you were so down these past few weeks. I wish you would have just told me.”
“It’s fine, come on. I’m a tough old geezer. Let’s finish these chores and get to bed. You know, I’m going to keep tabs on how much labor you owe me.”
Derek laughed, grateful to have the topic move on to lighter things. “You know that I will be there to help you build every bit of your ranch, just as soon as you manage to sell some cattle and get some supplies.”
“Well, I want to start on the cabin this next week. We can start with some trees from the south side of my land,” George said.
Derek nodded. He knew the place George was talking about. There wasn’t a whole lot of forest in Texas, but there was enough to get some wood for cabins. Since the trains had started coming through town, they’d had more and more access to wood, coal, and other things that came from other places.
Sometimes, it felt as if things were progressing faster than Derek could keep up with.
He was often wondered what it would be like to live in the times before the trains. He loved hearing George’s tales of it.
It was hard to believe, sometimes, that George had been here longer than him and yet he had the larger ranch.
“Come on, let’s get some dinner. I’m famished.” Derek led the way to the cabin. It was getting late and he needed some rest.
---*---
After dinner, they talked a while and spent some time strumming their guitars on the porch under the moon. It was a relaxing evening, much like all the other evenings Derek shared with George.
Sometimes, Derek felt nostalgic for the old days. The days when he had spent time with his fiancée, planning their future. But he knew that those days had never been real—they had been full of deceit and lies that he didn’t need. She had revealed, in the end, that his money was her goal. She had been surprised to find out he didn’t have the riches that she had imagined after hearing his father ran a bank back east.
It was better now. He didn’t really need anyone. He had himself to rely on. His family was far away, where they belonged, and he was self-reliant at last.
He was the person that people needed now, and that felt better than he was willing to admit.
There was a lot that he hated about himself, his past and his family, but somehow, it helped to know that none of that could really affect him way out here.
He hadn’t traveled west for fame or fortune. He hadn’t traveled west for the adventure. He had left fame and fortune back east, and they could stay there for all he cared. There was a lot more to life than wealth.
He had traveled west simply because he wanted peace. He wanted to live somewhere where he could be invisible and tend his cattle, just like every other rancher in society.
He didn’t want to be in the public eye anymore. He didn’t want to think about his messy past. He just wanted to exist and help others where he could along the way.
--*---
Derek sat down on the edge of his bed and pulled his pocket watch out of his pants. As he set it on the bedside table, his hand brushed the little box sitting there and it fell to the floor, scattering its contents across the wooden slats.
Derek picked up several small papers and other trinkets. He had to learn to be less clumsy. The last thing he picked up was a small newspaper clipping.
“The Stevens Tragedy,” the headline read.
There it was: his name in print. The event that had changed his life forever, and yet he was one of the people who had lost the least.
He shook his head. He wasn’t sure why he’d kept this piece of paper. Maybe it was a reminder to him of what he had left behind. But Derek knew he didn’t really need any reminders.
He shoved the bit of newspaper along with the other things back into the box and placed it back on the table. He then took off his boots and trousers before getting into bed.
He let the mattress cradle him as he relaxed every single one of his muscles. He felt in control here in his bedroom in the dark.
Outside, things might not be so predictable, but this was his home, and here, he was whoever he wanted to be. Here, he was especially not related to the Stevens family in any way shape or form.
If only that could be true everywhere else.
Chapter 7
“Do you reckon you have enough blankets?” Lily’s voice sounded a lot closer than Emilia knew it was.
“I think that I’ll be fine.” She didn’t want to tell her cousin that she was already sweating with the single blanket she had on her bed.
She wasn’t sure how Lily was covered with more than one and still breathing.
“It really gets cold in the morning. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but it really does. You’ll see. Here, I put a blanket at the foot of your bed so if you need it, you can find it easily. Okay?”
“Okay,” Emilia said after she realized she’d been nodding, and Lily wouldn’t be able to see her non-verbal response in the dark bedroom. “So, you used to sleep in here alone?” Emilia wasn’t sure what to say, but she didn’t want to seem like she was ignoring Lily.
Talking to Lily made her feel just a little bit better about being here in Texas. Everything was so different here, and it was a struggle for Emilia to come to accept it.
“Yes, but I don’t mind you being here, not a bit. It’s like I have my own sister now. You know, I always wanted a sister. I was mighty disappointed when my parents had Eddy and Eli instead of a girl.” There was silence for a few moments and the other bed creaked as if Lily was propping herself up. “But they were twins, so I guess that sort of made up for it. Do you think we could be like sisters?”
“I have a sister,” Emilia said without thinking. She realized almost immediately how terribly rude it must have sounded. “But I’d love another one and I think you would make a great sister,” she added hastily.
Emilia’s heart pounded in her chest while she waited for Lily to answer. Had she made her mad? Would Lily hate her now?
“I’m glad. You know, when Ma told me that you were coming, I was worried I wouldn’t like you, you being from the city and all. I heard that most city girls are stuck up and all uppity. Is that true?”
Emilia giggled. “Uppity? I suppose that might be true about some city girls. I’m not, though. I didn’t get along well with a lot of girls back home. I was always sick and at school, so I couldn’t play games with them and they mostly ignored me. And after school ended, I was sick a lot so I just stayed home most of the time. I guess I never learned to be uppity.”
Emilia was surprised how easy it was to confide in Lily. Maybe it was because her cousin was just a voice in the dark, or maybe it was the energy about Lily that made it easy for Emilia to spill her thoughts and feelings.
“I’m really glad you came. Are you glad that you came?”
It took Emilia a moment to answer. She considered lying to spare Lily’s feelings, but she knew that it wouldn’t be right. For some reason, she wanted her cousin to know the truth.
“I miss home,” she confessed.
“What do you miss most?” Lily didn’t sound angry—in fact, she sounded truly curious.
“I miss the little mutt dog that would come asking for treats after dinner. I miss waking up shivering at night because my sister took my blanket. I miss my sister sleeping next to me. I miss my mother’s singing as we fell asleep.” Emilia’s voice cracked as the memories overwhelmed her.
She was surprised when she felt a warm hand touching her arm, then finding her hand and squeezing it. Lily had reached across the gap between them and was holding her hand. “You know, sometimes I miss my pa mighty terribly. I bet it’s that way for you with your ma and sister right now.”
Emilia nodded and sniffed but didn’t say anything this time. She was sure she couldn’t without bursting into sobs. Already, lonely tears were strea
ming down her cheeks and her chin was trembling, threatening to allow a torrent of tears to begin.
“Whenever I miss my pa, I sing a song. Do you want to hear it?” Lily offered.
“S-sure,” Emilia managed to say without her voice breaking down completely.
After a pause Lily began to sing, “Hidden in the dark, little bits of memory, take me back to you. I will always, always remember you. I will see your face in my heart of hearts. I will hear your voice forever in my ears…” Her voice seemed to change as she sang. It went deep and it went high, the melody transporting Emilia out of the tiny bedroom back home to Ohio.
She closed her eyes, squeezing out a few more tears as she pictured images of her home. Her mother and sister, sitting at the dinner table eating a meal without her, the lamp in the window burning low.
She called her father’s face to memory. His young face, from the photograph. So stern, with something intelligent and mischievous behind his eyes.
“I’ll remember you, remember you, remember… you.” Lily finished her song and silence stretched between them again.
Emilia didn’t need to find words to say anything. The beautiful silence said it all. Somehow, she felt at peace, and the tight agony of sadness eased.
She sighed and closed her eyes, her hand still clutching Lily’s, and let sleep claim her.
---*---
The next morning, Emilia woke to whispers. She was alone in the bedroom; Lily’s bed was empty.
She wasn’t sure what time it was, but the sun was shining through the gingham curtains, filling the room with bright, beautiful light that even smelled fresh. She smiled as she heard the whispered conversation coming from just outside the bedroom door.
“Do you think she’s awake yet?” The voice had to belong to one of the twins. Emilia wasn’t positive, but if she had to guess, she would have said it was Eli’s.
“Ma said we need to wait until she comes out on her own.” Now she was sure the first voice had been Eli’s. The second voice was thoughtful and kind, and she could almost imagine Eddy’s concerned face as he said the words.
“What if we just made just a little bit of noise? Maybe she’d wake up faster. Who sleeps this long?” Eli sounded frustrated.
“Shhh, we can’t wake her up. What if she gets mad because we woke her up? She’ll never come to see the chickens then.” Eddy's voice sounded more worried than ever, and Emilia was tempted to call out and put their minds at ease right then and there.
Instead, she tiptoed out of bed and pulled a dress from her suitcase, making as little noise as she possibly could.
She made quick work of changing, despite keeping quiet all the while. When she was done, she tiptoed to the doorway, waiting to see if the boys had any further comments about her tardiness.
“You know she has to eat before we can show her the chickens.” Eddy was speaking again.
“I know, I know. Maybe she’ll eat fast.”
“I don’t know. She’s probably hungry from sleeping so long.”
Unable to contain herself any longer, Emilia pulled the door open. The two boys were standing in the hall, huge eyes staring up at her in surprise.
“Did we wake you up?” Eddy whispered with the biggest look of apology Emilia had probably seen in her life.
She laughed out loud. “No, no you didn’t. I was quite awake when I heard the two of you talking outside my room.”
The two boys looked at each other sheepishly. “Ma already has breakfast waiting for you,” Eddy finally said with a shy smile.
Emilia laughed again and followed them to the kitchen. If her words had embarrassed them, they clearly moved on quickly. The boys seemed as happy and carefree as ever by the time they made it to the kitchen.
The table was laid out with food enough for an entire army, Emilia guessed. There were hotcakes and salted pork and coffee. She also spotted cream and cheese and a pitcher of milk on the countertop.
The boys sat down, and both put their chins into their hands and watched as Emilia took a seat, too. They had apparently already eaten and were just waiting for her to finish.
“Good morning!” Carolyn walked into the kitchen carrying a basket of what looked like freshly cleaned clothing. “The weather is perfect for drying clothes this morning, that’s for sure,” she exclaimed.
Emilia smiled and stared at her aunt curiously. It was still hard to get over how much Carolyn looked like her mother. Her eyes were the same blue eyes that had looked at Emilia every day of her life and her face was so alike it made her stare every time Carolyn walked into the room.
“How did you sleep, my dear? Did these two silly monkeys wake you up?”
Emilia glanced over at the twins, who looked as if they’d been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
“No, they didn’t wake me. I slept wonderfully. I feel badly I slept so late and couldn’t help you with anything this morning.”
“Nonsense, you are our guest—at least for today. I’ll give you some chores to do once you get a little stronger. Eat something, you’re skinnier than a stick. You need a little muscle on those bones.”
Emilia laughed at the way she said it. She certainly didn’t think she needed fat or muscle. Being skinny in the city was an attribute. Not that many people looked her way, anyway, but it was nice to think that they didn’t look at her as someone who stood out when they did.
“It’s not like the city here,” Carolyn continued as if reading her mind. “People need their strength to get them through all the chores around the place. You will have too much to do to get fat.”
Emilia watched her aunt bustle around the kitchen, getting a plate and fork from the counter and setting the milk and butter on the table next to her plate. She wondered how her aunt managed to have so much energy to run a ranch like this. She imagined her own mother, who came home exhausted after a long day of work.
She wondered if her family could have a place like this if they came to Texas.
“Here you are. Dish yourself up to anything you like. Lily should be back at any moment; she wanted to eat with you.”
Emilia felt a little stroke of guilt. She felt bad that Lily hadn’t eaten because of her. “Where is Lily? Will she be back soon? Maybe I should wait for her.”
“No, you go ahead and eat. She’ll be here any—”
Almost as if Lily had been waiting outside for her mother to speak, she burst through the door. “Sorry, I’m late. The horse was being so terribly stubborn this morning. Emilia! You’re up!” Lily was grinning from ear to ear, as if Christmas had arrived early.
With Lily there, Emilia didn’t wait any longer to pile her plate full of food. She was famished. Either her mother had been right about there being something in the air, or maybe it was because she needed more energy for all the changes that were taking place, but she hadn’t felt this hungry in ages.
She took a huge bite and closed her eyes as she savored the flavors that filled her mouth.
“Do you like it? I helped make the salt pork.” Eddy was watching Emilia as if her response would determine his future happiness.
“It’s positively delicious. Probably because you helped make it.”
Eddy beamed and elbowed Eli in the ribs.
“What about the hotcakes? I mixed them for Ma.” Eli shot his brother a quick glare.
An Enduring Love to Heal Her: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 6
