I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you this past week. First on the trip out here and now that I’m here, the ache in my heart grows with every passing hour knowing that you are so far away.
It is warmer here and even though I’ve had a bout or two of coughing this afternoon, I think I am getting better already. I will be able to tell more as the time passes.
I do wish that you could have come here with me. It would be so much better with your company. Aunt Carolyn looks so much like you, Ma, sometimes I forget she isn’t you.
My cousins are all wonderful. They tried to teach me to ride a horse today. You should have seen me, Mary. You would have laughed. I guess I didn’t know that the reins were to stop the horse, so I fell off, but I am fine now.
I am trying to learn to be brave and try new things even though everything in me is afraid of new things.
I wanted you to know I miss you and I love you.
Please write soon,
Yours truly, Emilia.
Emilia wanted to write so much more. She wanted to talk with Mary about Derek. She wanted to tell them about the ranch, and about the calves they had seen the day before. But she had run out of room on the paper.
She folded the piece of paper and set it on the little parlor table beside her. Maybe Carolyn would take her into town to send it tomorrow. Suddenly, sleepiness overcame her, and she leaned her head back against the seat.
She closed her eyes, sighing. She would rest a bit and then try her ankle out. She was certain it was healing with every moment she sat there.
Chapter 12
“How is it?” Lily was looking at Emilia with eyes full of concern. It had been a full day since she’d sprained her ankle.
Emilia grinned, it felt completely normal. “I think it’s actually okay.”
Lily let go of her and clapped her hands as if she were a child again. “I’m so glad! You can come with me to the barn-raising later.”
“Barn-raising? I’m not so sure… I mean, well, I haven’t really been to anything like that before,” Emilia admitted uncertainly.
“It will be such fun. We won’t be helping with the man’s work,” Lily added quickly. “We’ll just take some food and help with the dancing.”
Emilia scrunched her eyebrows together. Dancing? She had no idea how to dance, and the thought of dancing with a man she didn’t even know seemed terrifying.
“I don’t know—”
“I won’t take no for an answer! It’s going to be wonderful fun. I have a dress you can wear, and you can meet some of the people I know from town. We’ll dance and eat, and it will be just lovely.” Lily took a step closer, looking secretive all of a sudden. “Derek and George will be there, too.”
Emilia’s heart sunk even lower. She hadn’t seen Derek since he’d helped her when she fell off the horse. Seeing him in front of a crowd wouldn’t be a good idea. What if he told everyone about her father?
It wasn’t that she was ashamed of her father per se, but she knew what people would think. They thought that craziness was hereditary. She knew that as soon as people knew, they would be watching her every move, searching for some validation to send her along to the crazy house, just as people had done with her pa.
“What if no one likes me? I haven’t exactly gotten to know a lot of people from around here.”
“Don’t even say that!” Lily looked horrified. “Everyone is going to love you. If it makes you feel better, not everyone in town likes me, either.”
“I thought you just said that everyone would love me?” Emilia was feeling less and less convinced that this was a good idea.
“It’s a figure of speech. I am sure that you will meet some nice people there. I mean, maybe some people in town aren’t the nicest, but not everyone is like that. Like Derek and George.”
Emilia was about to correct Lily on Derek being one of the good ones when she realized something. “You like George, don’t you?”
Lily’s cheeks blushed bright red, her tan skin taking on a rosy glow. “Maybe, but what does it matter? It seems he doesn’t even notice me.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing.” Emilia frowned; she knew men like George back home. They were never content with one relationship, never ready to tie the knot. Lily deserved better than that.
“What do you mean? Are you saying that I’m not good enough for George?” A sting of hurt filled Lily’s voice.
“No, no. Of course not. I am only saying to be careful. You know, my sister is your age, and she is desperate to find herself a man to marry. I’m just saying that maybe that isn’t what should be important.”
“What do you think is important, then?” Lily flopped down into one of the parlor chairs in an un-ladylike fashion.
“I think that if you are to get married, make sure he is kind and caring and will love you to the ends of the earth.”
“George is kind, you just don’t know him. And he’s funny.” A faraway look took over Lily’s eyes as she spoke.
Emilia stifled a groan and gave her cousin a soft playful shove. “I’m just saying be careful, that’s all. I suppose that I will come with you to the barn-raising. Someone has to keep an eye on you so you don’t get into trouble.”
Lily jumped from her chair and pulled Emilia up from hers. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“What about Aunt Carolyn and the twins?”
“They aren’t coming. Mama has visitors from out of town. They told her at church last Sunday they would be stopping by. They have boys the same age as the twins. Eddy and Eli would rather stick around here to wait for them than go to some boring barn-raising.” The way Lily said ‘boring’ made Emilia confident that she didn’t mean it in the slightest.
Emilia grinned, Lily reminded her so much of her sister Mary. She had that same outgoing attitude and fearless vulnerability.
“I’m going to go and tell Ma that you’re going with me. She said I couldn’t go unless you came.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” If Emilia had known that, she probably would have agreed to go without being asked twice.
“I didn’t want it to influence your decision,” Lily said before rushing out of the parlor.
Emilia watched her go, feeling conflicted about the barn-raising and her friendship with Lily. It felt so natural, almost as if they’d known each other forever and had just reunited.
Emilia just hoped that it was real, because right now it felt too good to be true.
---*---
“Are you all right?” Lily was looking at her with concern.
“I’m fine, just haven’t walked this far in a while.” Emilia paused and leaned against a tree.
The twins had dropped them off near the ranch where they’d be having the barn-raising but had continued on to town to pick up their guests.
Emilia couldn’t really complain. It was really only a fifteen-minute walk. But she was sure it had to do with the fact that she hadn’t completely gotten her strength back yet.
Her lungs burned and her breaths came quick and short. She hated it when her health hindered her from doing things. It felt like a betrayal from her own body.
“We can wait as long as you need. It’s not even dusk yet. We’re early.” Lily didn’t sound bothered in the least and it put Emilia’s mind at ease.
The sun was sinking lower in the sky and Emilia knew that if they didn’t get going, they wouldn’t get to the barn-raising before the festivities started.
“Let’s go, I’m fine.” Emilia plastered a smile on her face and forced herself to keep walking. A pinching pain began to grow in her side and she struggled to breathe, but she was determined not to disappoint Lily.
It didn’t take too much longer before she could see the ranch in the distance. It looked very similar to Aunt Carolyn’s property.
The pain in her side was so bad that she wasn’t sure she could keep walking, no matter how determined she was. “Actually, why don’t you go on ahead and find George. I’ll be there in
just a minute.”
Lily stopped in her tracks. “Are you sure? Why do you want to wait? Are you okay? I’m fine to wait with you.”
Despite her cousin’s words, Emilia knew Lily was eager to get to the activity. “You go on ahead. I’d just like to go slow and enjoy the view. Besides, I think my foot is a little sore. I’ll catch up. I don’t want to make it too worn out to dance.”
Lily still didn’t look convinced.
“Go, I’m fine.” Emilia pushed her cousin forward. “I’ll be there before you know it.”
Lily finally nodded and turned towards the ranch. She picked up the pace and a few moments later, she was too far for Emilia to catch up to even if she wanted to.
A tiny part of Emilia wished that her friend had refused to go on along without her. But she had insisted, and it wasn’t fair for Lily to miss out because Emilia couldn’t do the things that other girls could.
Emilia spotted a log nearby and brushed it off with her hand before gingerly sitting down.
She placed her hands on either side of her head and focused on breathing long, deep breaths.
The stitch in her side began to subside and while her throat still burned slightly, she was able to breathe a little better.
The sound of someone walking up made her jump to her feet. Dusk was falling and it was hard to make out who it was. When she did, her heart sank. Derek was headed straight toward her.
“Emilia, are you all right? Lily told us you fell behind and that you told her to go on ahead. She wanted me to come back and check on you.” Derek’s words were kind, but he wore a frown on his face.
Emilia wondered what he was thinking behind his brown eyes. “I-I’m fine. I just needed to—” Emilia stopped herself. She couldn’t come up with any more excuses and she wasn’t about to confide in Derek what she hadn’t even told Lily. “Never mind, let’s just go.”
“Are you sure? I could bring the wagon we came in to take you, if you’d like. You look pale.”
Emilia set her lips in a tight line and nodded. She was going to have a word with Lily about putting her in this situation with Derek later.
She hadn’t needed an escort to finish this short walk the rest of the way to the barn. She had just needed some time to rest. Her plan for tonight had been to avoid Derek as much as she could.
They walked for several moments in silence until Derek broke it. “How’s your ankle?”
“It’s fine. It was just a sprain, like you said.”
Derek nodded and motioned toward the barn. The doors were propped open and inside was a glorious sight. Well, glorious from the outside, anyway. Men and women were swishing about in a massive swirl of movement, light, and noise.
“Shall we?”
“I—um, I should find Lily.” Emilia glanced nervously around for Lily. She didn’t want to walk into this dance with Derek. In fact, she didn’t want to walk into this dance at all. It was one of those types of things Emilia had always avoided. She felt very awkward and uncertain of what to do.
“She’s right over there, with George.” Derek pointed and Emilia’s eyes followed. There, on the sidelines of it all, was Lily talking with George. Her eyes were sparkling and her skin glowed with happiness. Whatever cautions Emilia had given her earlier she had obviously thrown to the wind. She gazed at George with unabashed adoration.
Emilia nodded curtly and followed Derek. When Lily spotted her, her eyes went wide, and she pulled Emilia into a hug as if it had been a week since they had seen each other instead of half an hour.
“I’m so glad he found you. I was beginning to get worried. Are you sure you’re all right?”
Emilia glanced toward Derek and George, who were exchanging glances. “I’m fine. Actually, could we find something to drink?”
Lily bobbed her head up and down. “Of course. If you’ll excuse me, George, I’ll be back later.” Lily threw a smile back at him as they walked off.
In a way, Emilia felt bad for her. She could tell that Lily was flirting and she was sure that even if George didn’t see that, other people did.
Lily led her to a long table set up with drinks and food. She poured a large cup of lemonade and handed it to Emilia. “So, what happened with Derek? You looked like you had seen a ghost.”
“Nothing. I just wasn’t expecting him to come out there for me like that.” Now that she saw Lily’s concerned face, Emilia was unable to deliver the scolding she had planned on earlier. “Actually… could we just avoid him?”
Lily’s eyebrows shot up. “Avoid him? Why would we want to do that? George is with him.”
Emilia smothered a sigh. “Okay, well, you go talk with George, I’m going to walk around a bit. Maybe I’ll go back outside. It’s really stuffy in here.”
Lily looked like she couldn’t disagree more but instead reached out and squeezed Emilia’s arm. “Are you sure you are okay?”
“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Emilia was beginning to think that if she didn’t hear that question for another hundred years, it would be too early. “I’m completely fine. I’m a capable adult and I will be all right. I just don’t feel like talking with Derek tonight, okay?”
Her friend nodded and cocked her head sideways, looking at Emilia as if trying to figure her out. “Fine, but if you need anything, find me and let me know. Okay? We can leave any time you want to.”
Emilia nodded and gave her cousin a brave smile as Lily shimmered off into the crowd.
Emilia felt very uncomfortable even knowing Derek was in the same room. Memories from her days at home and that night plagued her, almost like a low-key warning. If she spent any time with Derek, who knew when his good behavior would change, and he might show his true colors?
Chapter 13
Derek took a sip of his apple cider, his eyes glued to the lone figure by the food table. She looked so tiny and vulnerable, the way she was standing. One arm was wrapped around herself and the other was holding her cup of drink in an awkward tight manner. She swept her gaze across the dancing going on around her like a cornered wild deer, unsure of what to do.
As Derek began to make his way toward her, she stopped leaning on the table and she, too, started navigating through the crowd. It didn’t appear as if she was trying to reach anyone specific. In fact, it looked as if she was searching for the exit.
She found it after a few moments and looked so relieved as she made her escape that Derek had to wonder what scared her so much about being inside. He wasn’t sure he had seen anyone so ready to flee a dance before.
His inner voice was telling him to go back into the dance and find someone to talk to. Maybe he should haul George away from Lily and make some conversation with his friend. George appeared to be getting to know Lily despite his promise that he would leave her alone. It didn’t help that Lily was obviously smitten with him.
Why did he care about Emilia or what she was doing, anyway? She had been nothing but rude and suspicious toward him, yet something about her drew him closer like a strong magnet.
Her pale, pinched face from the path swam into his mind. She had looked like she was in pain. Derek had felt anger at Lily for leaving her out there. He wasn’t sure to what extent her illness had progressed, but Mrs. Carson had said that Emilia’s health was the reason she was here in Texas in the first place.
An Enduring Love to Heal Her: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 10
