“Well, you’ll find her out there, I believe.” Carolyn gave him a quick nod and Derek looked at it as a bit of encouragement. She didn’t have to know everything to have an idea of what was going on, and Derek knew she must.
He went outside the cabin and scanned the area for Emilia. She wasn’t hard to find, sitting with her back against the cabin.
Derek walked over and sat down next to her without a word. He wasn’t about to ask her permission to talk, just in case she said no. “What are you doing out here?”
Emilia glanced at him with a look he couldn’t decipher. “I thought I would just take a moment to get some air. It gets kind of stuffy inside, sometimes.”
“That’s part of Texas, I suppose. There are upsides and there are downsides to life in the west.”
Emilia gave a little smile and then her face went solemn. Derek knew he had to bring up the topic he wanted to talk about before she decided to leave.
“I wanted to talk to you about what happened the night we met.”
Immediately, any bit of vulnerability that might have been on Emilia’s face disappeared. “What about it?”
Derek realized that she must think he was talking about their first meeting in their mind, back in Desmond. “I mean, the first night we met here in Texas. The man you met in Desmond wasn’t me.”
Emilia shook her head and looked away. “You might think that you’ve changed, but that doesn’t mean you can just forget things you have done in the past.”
Derek took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. This was not going how he had expected.
“I have a twin brother.”
“What?” Emilia turned towards him. Surprisingly, she looked shocked, not in disbelief. “You have… a twin brother?”
“I do. He looks just like me. I couldn’t have met you back in Desmond and done the things that you accused me of, because I never lived there.
“Why? Why wouldn’t you tell me? I’ve behaved like a fool; I’m so sorry.” Emilia’s cheeks were bright red and remorse filled her eyes.
“It’s okay, I understand. I didn’t tell you because I tried the night you accused me, and you wouldn’t listen. I guess I figured if you couldn’t get over assumptions, then you didn’t deserve to know the truth.”
Derek shook his head, a bit embarrassed at his admission. “I know that wasn’t right of me. Luke looks identical to me, so it was an honest mistake. It really isn’t the first time this sort of thing has happened. He has always been messing up my life.”
“I’m still sorry. I never should have accused you. I just saw you and remembered everything he said.”
Derek knew he should let it be and not ask, but he couldn’t help himself. “What did he say to you that made you so upset?”
“He made fun of me and my father in front of everyone at some event your parents were throwing.” Emilia brushed a rebellious bit of hair behind her ear. “He said that someday I would go crazy, like my father, and be put into an asylum.”
“Your father is in an asylum?” Derek hadn’t known that. It explained a little more why Emilia’s mother had sent her out west. Maybe she wanted to get her away from all the people who knew her past.
Emilia looked at him with wide eyes, as if she had said a little more than she had intended. “My grandfather and uncle turned him in… I don’t know. Maybe my mother had something to do with it, too. He died a year later.”
“I-I’m so sorry.” Derek could see the pain in Emilia’s eyes. It was intense and seemed to consume her. “I didn’t know. I take it you loved him very much.”
Emilia nodded. “I never remember him being crazy, exactly. Sometimes he would throw things and yell when he was angry, but it wasn’t often.”
“My brother… whatever he said to you, you can’t let that affect you. He enjoys hurting people. He thinks its great fun and we are opposites.”
Emilia nodded. “I tell myself that, but it wasn’t just your brother. It seems that everyone in town thinks that craziness is contagious or hereditary or both.”
“You don’t seem crazy to me.”
Emilia giggled. “You know, my sister, she’s a strong girl. She goes out there and makes friends. She doesn’t care what people think about her, so they get tired of talking about her, I suppose.”
“What about you?” Derek already knew the answer. Since he had met Emilia, he could see that she had a strength of her own. But he knew that she wasn’t an outgoing person, and some people saw that as a weakness.
“I hated people talking about us, I hated it when people accused me of trying to infect them. I couldn’t stand when people teased me about it, so I just hid out at home.”
“Well, none of those things are comfortable, but you have to know a lot of them probably made problems for you because they were jealous of you.”
“You really think so?” Emilia’s lips turned up in a soft smile.
“I know so. And thanks for telling me.”
“You won’t tell anyone else, will you?”
Derek shook his head. He would never betray her trust that way. “Not unless you want me to.”
“I don’t. Maybe what you say is true, but I know I’m not strong enough to face that right now. I don’t want people here to see me like the person who might go crazy. I did love my father, but I’m glad to have left that behind.”
Derek nodded; he understood. She was kind of like him, wanting her past to stay hidden in the past where it belonged. Derek looked at her insecurities in a new light. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel the same way about my past. It should just stay in the past. I came here to start over.”
He saw her in a whole new light, now. “Come on, let’s go back inside. I think Carolyn made some dessert.”
Derek reached out his hand to help her up. He didn’t know if she would take it or not, but was pleasantly surprised when she did.
“Thank you… for telling me about your twin,” she said, looking into his eyes.
Derek stumbled with his words for a moment before gathering his wits about him again. “You deserved to know the truth.”
As they walked inside, Derek hoped that Luke either had left town or would be doing so soon. If Luke and Emilia bumped into each other, Derek was sure things would get more than a little complicated.
Chapter 20
Emilia sat down on her bed and tore open the latest letter from her mother and sister. She had gone to the post office and was delighted to find a letter from both.
She unfolded the paper and read her mother’s neat handwriting scrawled across the page.
My dearest Emilia,
You have no idea how much we have all missed you. Things are not the same without you. People in town ask about you, too. I do hope that you have come to like your time in Texas.
Please remember that I never sent you away because I didn’t love you or didn’t want you here with us, but because I want you to be in the best health you can possibly be. I couldn’t stand to see you suffer the way you were, constantly being sick.
Your aunt tells me that you are getting on well and, from your last letter, I believe her.
Mary and I are well. Work has been good and we have been quite busy.
Please find happy moments wherever you can and think of us often. Hopefully, one day, we will all be together once more.
With all my love,
Your mother
Emilia read the letter twice over before she started to open the one from her sister. She loved these bits of home that reached her way out here. It was true, she had to admit—she was so much healthier, out here in Texas.
There were a few times that she had gotten sick or felt ill like she was getting a cough, but so far, she’d felt much better than she had in the years she’d spent in Ohio.
She only hoped that it continued. If she could get healthy and strong, maybe the heat would be worth it.
Her mind wandered to Derek. She still felt so embarrassed when she remembered their conversation on Sunday.
&
nbsp; She had treated him so rudely, and he had only been an innocent bystander. They had never even met before.
Emilia shook her head and bit her lower lip. She hoped Derek would be able to forgive her. She realized that she’d come to think of him as a friend. The only thing that had been holding her back was their past together, and now that she knew that it had been his brother, she only hoped that Derek would put the horrible way she had treated him behind them.
She opened the second letter and her heart pounded with homesickness as she saw her sister’s scrawled handwriting.
Dearest Emilia,
I’ve met with the piano teacher’s son quite a few times now. He’s so handsome and charming that even you would have liked him. He knows that I don’t have a dowry or any real money to my name, and yet he still shows interest in me.
Don’t worry, I won’t rush into anything. Whenever I feel it is going too fast, I try to think of what things you would say to discourage me from being with him in the first place.
The house isn’t the same without you. I asked Ma when we would move west or when you would come back, but she says she doesn’t know.
I miss you, Emilia. Some nights, I imagine you’re there with me so I can fall asleep. I hope you aren’t miserable over there. At least you have the cousins. How are they?
Are they positively dreadful? Tell me, please.
I anxiously await your letter,
Mary
Emilia giggled at her sister’s letter. The words were so like Mary that she could almost hear her voice saying them.
Her heart ached with longing for home. She closed her eyes and imagined she was back in Ohio, looking out at the hustle and bustle in the streets below.
Tears filled her eyes and one trailed down her cheek. She brushed it away quickly and tucked the two letters into the suitcase along with the others.
She was going to write back right away. She knew that it took quite some time for the letters to get back to her mother and sister, she didn’t want them to think she had forgotten about them.
She pulled out a fresh piece of paper and a charcoal pencil from the writing supplies her aunt had given her, then sat down at the little table in the bedroom and began to write.
My dearest mother,
Your letter warmed my heart. I should have you know I am doing very well here. The weather has taken some getting used to. It is so hot that sometimes a person feels as though they are melting. I hardly feel ill at all, anymore. It hurts me to know that I have abandoned both you and Mary.
If you should come to Texas, everything would be right in the world. I am making friends here, and I am coming to think of it as a home instead of as being sent away. I know that you did what you did for my well-being.
I wanted to ask you something about father. I know you don’t like to talk about him, but did you try to stop him from going to the asylum?
Whatever your answer is, I will not think ill of you. I just want to know the truth.
With love forever,
Emilia
Emilia flipped the paper over and then thought about all the things she wanted to tell Mary. She was certain that she couldn’t write everything on this single page. She had to think of what would fit in the space available. She couldn’t make the letter too heavy.
My dearest Mary,
You have brightened my day with your brilliant letter. I don’t know what to think of the piano teacher’s son. Just be kind to yourself and make sure he will be, too. Otherwise, I am happy for you.
The cousins are not dreadful at all. They are actually quite nice. They have been so kind to me and made me feel at home. They are no replacement for you, though. I, too, miss you every single day. The twins are funny. They seem to be in a competition for everything, always wanting me to compliment one over the other. I have to be careful what I say so as not to start an argument between them at times.
You would like Lily. She is like you… parties and dances are so easy for her. You know me, I don’t like to go to all those social things, but she somehow always manages to convince me to go with her.
There is a man here whose family lives in Desmond. Apparently, he has a twin brother. I never would have imagined. I acted terribly toward him because I thought that I had met him before at some dreadful party back there. I hope he will forgive me.
You know that I don’t think of love and marriage like you do, but I think Derek may be my friend.
I hope you are taking care of Ma and I can’t wait to see you sometime soon. I love you. Please be safe.
Missing you always,
Emilia
Emilia tucked the letter into its envelope and carefully prepared it. She would take it to town the next day and send it right away.
She could already imagine her mother and sister opening the letters and reading her words. She hoped that, somehow, it would give them a small insight into her life here.
She wished that she could talk to them in person. She wished she could go visit them, but she knew that a train ticket was very expensive and she also didn’t want to get sick again.
In fact, she wondered where her mother had gotten the money for her ticket in the first place.
Red, chasing something in the yard, caught Emilia’s eye. She watched him and gave a little giggle. That dog was such a silly animal. He always found something to entertain himself, even when the twins were busy.
She spotted the place in the fence that Derek had fixed the day she had fallen from the horse.
She wondered why he hadn’t been by in the past couple of days. She hoped it didn’t have to do with their conversation.
What if Derek believed that craziness was contagious, just like everyone else? Maybe he’d decided to stay away because he didn’t want to risk any chance of being sent to the asylum.
Emilia bit her lower lip. She hadn’t meant to tell him so much about her past. When he’d told her about his twin, she had been so relieved and so embarrassed at the same time, she’d felt as if she had to share a little bit about why that event had left her so upset.
Emilia stood and tidied the room, leaving all of her writing materials in their proper places before heading into the kitchen.
Carolyn was already chopping potatoes and boiling something on the stove. She looked up, and her eyes brightened when she spotted Emilia. “You’re here. Are you busy?”
“No, can I help?” Emilia took a knife and joined her aunt in dinner preparations.
Emilia loved working with her aunt, getting meals ready. It reminded her of helping her mother and what she used to do in Ohio.
“What did Derek want to talk to you about the other day? I never asked. I guess we have all been a little busy.” Carolyn looked at her with a curious glance.
Emilia could feel her cheeks flushing. Her first instinct was to tell her aunt everything, but it felt as if it would be a betrayal of Derek’s trust. Maybe he didn’t like telling people he had a twin.
“We had a misunderstanding when we met, but it’s all cleared up now.” Emilia decided that was enough information to cover what had happened between them.
“Derek is a good man. You know, maybe the two of you might have something together.”
An Enduring Love to Heal Her: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 16
