by Jadyn Chase
I paid with my credit card and we left the store. Now that I got Thomas looking semi-respectable and didn’t have to worry about the local crackers coming after us, I faced a whole new problem. He couldn’t walk around in a suit all the time.
I took him to the biggest department store, but when it came time to walk in, I stopped. Thomas put his head on one side. “Is there a problem, Allison?”
I flipped my hair out of my eyes. “Problem? Why would there be a problem?”
“You seem a little nervous.”
Nervous—me? I only had to walk into the men’s section of a store and…..I didn’t want to think about and. I didn’t want to be anywhere near the men’s section of a store, much less any of the things Thomas needed. The hoodie and sweatpants I gave him before could serve as pajamas, but that wasn’t all.
I looked around for another sales guy to handle this, but I didn’t see anybody. One older woman with short grey hair stood behind the register. I definitely couldn’t ask her.
“Allison?” he asked again.
“Fine!” I blurted out.
I stormed into the men’s section. I swallowed hard and forced myself to approach the underwear table. Thomas came with me. I wished like anything I could put a paper bag over my head rather than look at those things, but what choice did I have?
I picked up a pair of boxers and held them up. I didn’t dare hold them close to him, but I had to check the size if only distantly.
His eyebrows twitched. “What are you doing?”
My cheeks burned. “It’s underwear—men’s underwear.”
He snorted through his nose. “It is not! It’s nothing even remotely like men’s underwear.”
I couldn’t look at his face. I fumbled for four or five pairs of something I hoped to High Heaven would fit him and beat a hasty retreat. I managed to get through the sock ordeal without fainting, paid, and got the hell out of there.
After I stashed the underwear and socks in his bag, I could face the world again without wanting to curl up and die. No one had to know what I just went through.
Thomas paused outside the store. “Are you feeling quite well, Allison? You look flushed.”
“Of course I’m flushed!” I countered. “What do you think I am after buying men’s underwear? Jeez, what do you take me for?”
He pulled his head in. “This was your idea. You don’t have to take it out on me.”
“My idea!” I fired back. “What did you think I was going to do—let you walk around commando all day long?”
“Commando?” he repeated.
The blood rushed to my face and neck. I flapped my hands and whirled away. “Never mind. I’m not going to explain it so don’t ask me to. Come on.”
I barged to the nearest coffee shop and flung myself into a corner couch. I needed to pull myself together before I lost it completely. How could I cope with this person from another planet? He didn’t understand the simplest phrases and concepts.
He stood across the room taking it all in for a moment before he slunk over. He perched on the edge of the couch peering at people all around him. He studied a woman ripping the top off a packet of sugar and dumping it into her cup. He watched a man sit down with a towering mug of hot chocolate. The man sipped the drink and got whipped cream on his nose.
Thomas’s nostrils flared. “What is that horrid smell, Allison?”
“That?” I asked. “It’s coffee.”
“Ugh!” he groaned. “It’s revolting!”
I indulged in a wry smile and glanced over my shoulder toward the counter. The baristas worked double-time making espressos and cappuccinos for everyone. “I don’t think they have tea here, and even if they did, man does not live on tea alone. You need to eat something.”
He rotated around to smile at me. “Aptly put.”
I got to my feet. “Stay here. I’ll get you something.”
I went to the counter and ordered myself a double cappuccino with extra chocolate syrup. I needed an IV drip of sugar and caffeine. I ordered Thomas a burrito, but I lingered at the counter longer than I should have. I needed the company of sane, modern people who spoke my language. I needed that more than sugar and caffeine.
When I got back to the couch, Thomas hadn’t moved. He held himself stiff and alert trying to grasp everything going on around him. When I saw him sitting like that, I softened. This must be ten times harder for him than it was for me.
I put the burrito plate on the table in front of him. He eyed it like a poisonous snake. “What in Heaven’s name is that?”
“It’s a burrito.”
“Burrito!” he declared. “It looks atrocious.”
I jerked around to stare at him before I realized what caused the misunderstanding. “Just eat it. It won’t jiggle off the plate like scrambled eggs. Think of it like a sandwich.”
“I understand sandwiches, but this….” He picked up the plate and rotated the object back and forth before his eyes. “And how exactly do you propose I eat this?”
I plucked the dish out of his grasp and set it on the table. “You pick it up with both hands like this. You take a bite like this.”
He made a face. “How primitive.”
“We’re primitive in this country. Don’t you know that?”
His eyes sparkled and he grinned. “As a matter of fact, everyone from my time considers you primitive. They say Americans are little better than savages.”
“I know,” I retorted. “If you don’t want to eat it that way, I can get you a knife and fork. You can cut it into tiny pieces and eat it that way.”
He squared his shoulders and his smile didn’t fade. “Very well, Allison. If it’s good enough for you, it’s good enough for me.” He took hold of the burrito and picked it up. He took an enormous bite that would make any burrito lover proud. Then he put it down and commenced chewing. He cast his gaze to the ceiling. “It’s quite good, actually.”
“I told you so. Anyway, we should get you a suitcase for your stuff. You’ll need that for the flight to England.”
He considered something while he ate. “I’ll be glad to get back to Dover. It will be good to get back on my own ground. This country seems frightful to me.”
“I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I was you,” I told him. “You’re going to find England a very different country than the one you left. You won’t be at home there any more than you are here and I can guarantee you that you won’t go back to live at the Castle.”
He looked up at me. “By God, Allison! You’re right. I didn’t think of that. For some ridiculous reason, I expected England to still be waiting for me there, preserved in 1840 the way I was.”
I had to smile at him. “I understand why you would hope it had been, but I don’t think you’ll find England all that different from America. They have cars and coffee shops there, too, but not as many burritos. They do still have sandwiches, though. You won’t lack for stuff to eat and they’ll have plenty of tea. I can promise you that.”
He studied me with his head on one side. “How fortunate that I should encounter you of all people, Allison. I could have been stumbling around this country for decades and never met anyone who knew as much about Dover Castle as you do. It was truly fortuitous.”
I returned his gaze. “You’re right. I was thinking about that little piece of serendipity earlier this morning. It does seem convenient that you just happened to blunder into my yard.”
He turned all the way around and beamed at me. “I am so deeply glad I have you to help me put the pieces back together. I don’t mean buying me clothes and…..” He smirked. “And burritos, as you call them. I’m talking about this mystery in which I find myself embroiled. I’m glad it’s you by my side and not someone else. Your knowledge and your compassion truly warms my heart. I couldn’t ask for a better companion on this journey.”
I couldn’t help but smile back. “Thank you, Thomas. That means a lot.”
His lips twitched suppressing his grin. “Did you
mean what you said about going back to Dover? I don’t know why I ask that. I know you wouldn’t mention it if you weren’t serious.”
“If your family is still alive back there, I don’t see that we have much choice. If we can get back there before they wake up, we can spare them a lot of grief and confusion by explaining what’s going on. We might even find a way to get them out of the Castle and somewhere safe. Then they won’t have to encounter any modern people before they’re ready.”
“That would be advantageous.” He took another bite of his burrito. “I would do anything to spare them the ordeal I’ve suffered these last few days.”
“I’m sure you would.” I picked up my handbag. “Do you see that door over there?”
“Of course I see it. How could I miss it?”
I stood up. “I’m going to get the car. When you finish your burrito, go stand by that door and wait for me. Don’t go anywhere else. Okay?”
He exaggerated his mouth movements to copy me. “Oh-Kay.”
I left chuckling.
7
Thomas
I brushed the last burrito crumbs off my jacket and settled back in the couch to wait for Allison. Now that I got some solid food in my stomach, I began to relax enough to examine this curious world of hers.
I still couldn’t fully comprehend what the people around me were doing. A few tapped their fingers on those black books Allison called computers. Others talked into their hands. They laughed and brayed and argued at invisible people. They reminded me of inmates of the Hospital for the Insane, but everyone around them acted as though this behavior was completely normal.
While I sat there observing this cross-section of humanity, another young woman approached me. America teemed with young women everywhere all dressed in tight trousers and revealing blouses. Only whores would dare to dress like that in my country.
She bent over to show me her cleavage. She picked up my luncheon plate and smiled at me in a suggestive way. “Do you need another WIFI code?”
My eyes popped wide open. “I beg your pardon?”
“Another WIFI code,” she repeated. “You need to buy another coffee product in order to get a new WIFI code.”
She could have been speaking Hungarian for all I understood her. Instead of getting into a protracted debate about it, I stood up. “I don’t need anything, thank you very much. I was just leaving.”
I headed for the door. Surely, a grown man could stand and wait by a door without getting into too much trouble. I exited the…..the establishment and made it to the door without anyone trying to kill me. Thank Heaven for small miracles.
I settled in to wait. Dozens of cars passed outside with what must have been thousands arrayed in rows beyond them. I never saw so many of those things in one place.
While I stood there gazing through the glass, a very dark black man advanced on the door from outside. I stiffened when I noticed he was wearing one of those ugly uniforms like the guards at Dover Castle. He burst into a toothy wide grin when he saw me studying him. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as they were.
He entered the building and jerked his chin at me. “What’s up, dude?”
“Up?” I glanced at the ceiling. “I don’t see anything up. Should there be?”
His grin vanished and his face contorted into a scowl. “What’s up with you, dude? Are you stoned or something?”
“Stoned?” I repeated. “I’m just waiting for….”
He took a threatening step toward me. “I can get you arrested for public vagrancy, you know. The mall doesn’t tolerate intoxication on the premises. If you’re causing a disturbance, I’ll hold you until I can call the Police.”
“Vagrancy!” I glanced down at my clothes. “Do I look like a vagrant to you?”
He jabbed his finger in my face. “Move it along, man. I’m not fooling.”
I compressed my lips. “I won’t move it along, as you say. I’m waiting for….”
Before I could get the words out, a lightning bolt of motion streaked toward me from behind. Something collided with me and flattened me against the wall before I realized it was a small girl half my size.
She wore a costume resembling a ghoulish fiend from Hell. Black paint covered her eyes and mouth and gave her a grotesque aspect. Her black clothes hung in tatters from her frail body, but she proved astoundingly strong. She barreled into me so hard she knocked me off my feet.
Another man in an apron raced toward us, shouting, “Stop her! Stop that girl! She just stuck up my store!”
I couldn’t make head or tail of the matter, but before I could shove the girl off, the guard pulled a small weapon from his belt. He gripped it in both hands and braced his arms to point it straight at my head. “Hold it right there! Don’t move!”
I tried to spin away, but the girl’s weight pinned me in place. For some reason, such a slight frame proved impossible to shift. “Don’t shoot!” I cried.
“Freeze, sucker!” the man bellowed. “Don’t make me have to shoot you.”
The girl wriggled against me in the most disconcerting way, but I couldn’t think with the guard thundering in my ear. To make matters worse, the shopman rushed us and started jabbering as fast as he could.
He pointed at me. “You piece of shit! You’re gonna fry for this. I swear to God I’ll drag you through the courts!”
I tried to cringe away. “I didn’t do anything.”
The guard kept brandishing his weapon in my face. “Get down on the ground! Don’t make me blow you away.”
I did my best to explain to him that, much as I would love to comply with his orders, the girl’s body prevented me from doing so. I watched in petrified horror as his fingers tightened around the trigger. Any moment now, he would finish me off and this whole nightmare would end.
At that moment, Allison came charging through the door. She seized me by the sleeve and yanked me out of the way. “Jesus fucking Christ, Thomas! Come on.”
I stumbled after her into the open air. When I glanced back, I saw the guard and the shopman assailing the girl. They didn’t appear to notice my absence. It dawned on me for the first time that they never intended to threaten me in the first place, that they only ever cared about her.
Allison tugged me away. “For Christ’s sake! Can’t you even wait by a door without getting into trouble?”
I did my best to straighten my jacket. “My apologies, Allison. I didn’t intend to get into mischief.”
She arched an eyebrow and scrutinized me. “Are you all right?”
I nodded. “I think so.”
She let out a long breath. “All right. Never mind. I was just worried about you. I didn’t mean to blame you for that.”
I looked back one more time. I was never so glad to get out of a building. “I fear I shall never understand this queer world of yours, Allison.”
Her shoulders drooped. “I hope and pray that’s not the case. Come on and get in the car. We’re going to the airport.”
Once I got into the seat and she fastened the safety harness, I drifted into a reverie while the car glided through the streets. Inside this insulated contraption, I could think without interference from the outside world.
Allison said nothing. She let me float in my own thoughts while she piloted the machine. She parked it outside another large building like the shop where she bought my clothes.
She pivoted around in the seat and narrowed her eyes. “Now listen to me very carefully, Thomas. You’re going to see and hear a lot of strange things in here. It’s vital that you play along and cooperate with everything that happens. Don’t argue. If you can possibly get away with it, don’t say anything to anybody. Do you understand? This place is crawling with Police and you don’t have a passport.”
“A what?”
“A passport. It’s a travel document. You need one to travel out of the country.”
I furrowed my brow. “But if I don’t have one, how will I get to Dover?”
“I got you an illegal on
e. We couldn’t possibly get you one legally.”
My eyebrows flew up. “You…broke the law? I’m shocked at you, Allison.”
“You don’t know the first thing about me, Thomas. Just remember to play it cool and keep your mouth shut. If you get into any difficulty, you could wind up in prison or worse.”
My eyes widened. “Is it really that dangerous?”
She nodded. “Stay close to me and do exactly as I say. Don’t put up a fuss, whatever you do.”
“Very well,” I replied. “I am at your mercy. I shall, as you say, play…it…cool.”
I shall not attempt to describe what happened next. I will simply state, unequivocally, that Allison was exactly right. I did not understand all the strange things I saw or that other people did.
Somehow or other, I wound up seated in a seat next to her in what looked like a much larger version of a car. Several dozen people packed the compartment along with us.
Allison helped me fasten the safety belt that fitted over my lap. I caught her eye when she leaned back. “Thank you.”
“We’re not home yet,” she whispered. “Just try to act naturally. We have to go through the same thing in New York. Then we’ll be on the overnight flight to London and you can sleep most of the way.”
She was right about that, too. By the time she signaled me that I could get up, I actually allowed myself to believe I was getting the hang of this 2020 world. As long as I sat still in a car or an office or a plane, I didn’t have to talk to anyone or do anything. I could cope with that.
When we got out of the plane and entered London, that notion evaporated. I never would have recognized the city. Cars whizzed everywhere. People shouted. Noise and confusion reigned.
I staggered out into this mayhem, but I long ago learned to put myself in Allison’s hands. She shoved me into a car with a strange man behind the wheel. She instructed him to take us to the railway station.
I kept my mouth shut, all right. I kept it firmly shut against every assault to my shattered senses. I seemed to do much better in this world when I didn’t try to speak or engage anyone, but at least the people here spoke English.
