by Effie Calvin
Besides, Esofi knew strange things could happen to mothers after they gave birth, a sort of temporary melancholy that occasionally turned to madness. The priestesses of Pemele and Dayluue swore that it could happen to anyone and was not indicative of a wicked nature. She did not really know anything about it beyond that.
“Well,” said Adale. “Your mother never killed any of hers. And you have a much better temper than she does.”
“She might have, if she hadn’t been allowed to hand us off to the nurses. I hardly saw her until I was old enough to begin learning to use my magic.”
Adale drew Esofi into her arms. “You are not her,” she whispered. “I promise you’re not. But if you’re that frightened of it, we don’t have to. We’ll find someone else to pass the throne to.”
Unacceptable, said Esofi’s upbringing. If you can’t produce heirs, you are not worthy of your title.
“I don’t know what I want,” said Esofi aloud.
“Good, then we match,” Adale smiled. “Look at everything you’ve done. You haven’t even been in the country two years and you’ve already accomplished so much. Nobody can criticize you for not wanting a baby.”
“Of course they can,” said Esofi. “And they will.”
“All right, they can. But that’s all they can do. And nobody ever died of criticism. But if it means that much to you, I know we can bribe the Temple of Dayluue to claim I’m infertile.”
“You can’t bribe a temple!” Esofi cried, scandalized.
“Of course you can. You can bribe anyone.”
“What if you want a baby?” asked Esofi. “What if you hate me for not wanting one?”
Adale laughed. “I don’t think there’s any danger of that. Besides, I could never love something that doesn’t exist more than I love you.”
It was not the first time Adale had said these words to her, but hearing them again was reassuring. She sighed and rubbed at her eyes. “I wish I could just go back to sleep. But I need to see to the Temple of Talcia next.”
“I’d go with you, but my parents are expecting me to review a few cases that are going before the Temple of Iolar soon,” said Adale. “There’s been a development in that case with the counterfeiter. Sorry, the alleged counterfeiter. They think he might have once had Inthi’s fire—which explains why the fakes were so good—but his magic was revoked.”
“Revoked?” Esofi’s eyes widened in surprise. She had heard stories of such things—rumors and legends with varying degrees of credibility—but never encountered the phenomenon herself. It was supposed to be very difficult to displease the gods enough to have one’s blessing rescinded.
“I need to review the details,” said Adale. “But yes. The Temple of Iolar is taking it to mean he’s guilty of something, counterfeiter or not. And I hate to agree with them, but…”
“Would counterfeiting be enough for Inthi to rescind a blessing? Or should we be looking for evidence of something worse?”
“That’s what I thought, but having your blessing taken away isn’t against the law, so we might have a hard time justifying another investigation. At least, that’s what my father said. I think he wants me to try to find a legal loophole. I’m sure he already knows one. He just wants to see if I can work it out for myself.” Adale rolled her eyes. “Want to trade? You deal with this, and I’ll tell the priestesses to stop pulling each other’s hair.”
Esofi went to her mirror to check on her hair and make-up, to verify that they had not been damaged by Lady Catrin’s baby. She adjusted her curls and retrieved a cloak suitable for the colder weather. Adale, meanwhile, settled herself at the desk with a stack of papers and set to work. Not wanting to disturb her, Esofi pressed a very soft kiss to the top of her head before setting off.
Esofi stepped out of the room and shut the door behind her. As she turned to lock it, she heard a familiar voice from behind her say, “Let’s see about this University of yours, then.”
Esofi had seen nothing of Gaelle since their return to Birsgen. Now she stood before Esofi again, so tall and thin and terribly cold. She wore a heavy fur-lined cloak over an emerald green dress, and one hand clutched a pair of gloves.
“The University?” Esofi repeated. Her eyes darted, briefly, to the bedroom door. Adale was just on the other side of it. She would probably hear Esofi if she called. But Esofi didn’t want to make a scene. Besides, Adale had work to do.
And Esofi was a grown woman. She could handle dragons, and she could handle her own mother.
“Why shouldn’t I be curious?” asked Gaelle. “And since I’ve little else to do, I thought I might tell you what you’re doing wrong.”
“Well there’s not much to see—” began Esofi, and that was the truth. The new university at Birsgen was still under construction, with just enough of it standing to hold classes if one did not mind exposure to the elements and the noise of the laborers.
“Regardless,” said Gaelle blithely. “I know you’re going to the Temple of Talcia now. Aren’t you?”
“Yes, but—”
“And the University is on the same grounds?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s settled,” said Gaelle. “Honestly, Esofi, I don’t understand why you make these things so difficult.”
Esofi allowed herself a tiny sigh. “Is Lexandrie coming?”
“No. I’m tired of looking at her.” Gaelle adjusted her cloak. “Don’t just stand there, I don’t have all day.”
Rhodian dresses were a little inconvenient for meandering through half-completed buildings, but since she was trapped with her mother for the next few hours, Esofi was glad she’d decided to wear one. It was irrational, but she really did feel more formidable in it.
The day was cold, and when Esofi stepped out of the carriage she thought of how much Carinth would hate it, followed by a great deal of relief that she’d decided to leave him behind with Adale before Gaelle intercepted her.
Was that wrong of her? Despite everything, Gaelle was his grandmother as much as Saski was. And she did not seem to mean him any harm—certainly she’d shown him more kindness than any of her children. But her declaration that she would take him back to Rhodia disturbed her. She had not raised the subject again, but even knowing she was contemplating it put Esofi on edge.
Esofi pushed those thoughts away and looked at Gaelle. She was surveying the half-constructed building with a critical eye.
“I know it must seem small, but we had to work with the land available. We’re planning to build upward, instead of outward.” Esofi gestured to the high, half-completed walls. “The largest part of it will be like a tower, when it is complete. They have the designs in the temple, if you’d like to see.”
Gaelle did not respond, so Esofi pressed on.
“The lower levels will be for instructing the newer students. Then we’ll have the library. I am already gathering materials for the collection.” Though the priestesses of Talcia were refusing to part with some of the older tomes in the temple’s possession, even as Esofi protested they were giving up nothing, as the University would be under their own guidance.
It seemed they did not entirely trust her, even now.
Nevertheless, Esofi thought her relationship with the temple was good. They all knew it was due to her arrival in Ieflaria that Talcia’s worship had been restored, and there were more attendants at the monthly Lunar Services than there had been in decades.
“Am I meant to be impressed?” asked Gaelle.
“Why start now?” Esofi replied evenly, surprising herself with the words. Gaelle stared at her in confusion and Esofi curled her fingers, ready to call up a shield if she needed one. But after a moment, Gaelle laughed. Esofi exhaled through her nose.
“Well, let’s visit the temple,” Esofi said. “Perhaps the archpriestess will be about today.”
The Great Temple of Talcia was only minutes away from the University-to-be. When Esofi and Gaelle ascended the dark marble steps to the courtyard, there were a few you
nger acolytes tending to the flowers and those few birds that had not fled to Vesolda when the weather turned. When the acolytes spotted her, they all leapt to their feet and crowded around her, chattering excitedly.
“Did you bring Carinth today?” asked one.
“I’m afraid not,” said Esofi. This received a chorus of disappointed sighs.
“I want a baby dragon of my own,” said one of the girls. “Every night I ask Talcia to give me an egg.”
Esofi had to laugh at that. “It’s more work than you’d think.”
“I don’t mind! I don’t!”
From behind her, Gaelle made an irritated noise. Esofi forced herself to keep smiling. “Is the archpriestess about today?”
In unison, all the girls shook their heads.
“We haven’t seen her in ages,” whispered the eldest one. “She doesn’t come to meals anymore. Eydis sings the moonrise songs for her now. And Asta is leading this month’s Lunar Service again.”
“That is to be expected. She has served Talcia for so many years. She has more than earned her rest.” Esofi smiled comfortingly. “I will bring Carinth next time I visit, if it’s not too cold.”
But the girls had caught sight of Gaelle and their smiles were fading. A few of the younger ones edged back in the direction of the temple. Esofi wasn’t sure how much they had heard about Gaelle, but it was evident they had been told something.
“Well, I need to go,” said Esofi, and the relief on the girls’ faces was a little insulting.
Inside the temple’s atrium was quiet, but Esofi knew a class for the newly blessed was happening in the large, open area where services took place on a monthly basis. The students were learning quickly, more so than expected. It seemed that being granted magic later in life was less of a disadvantage than she’d initially presumed it might be.
“Princess!” yelled a familiar voice. Esofi turned to see Asta striding toward them, her heavy silver bracelets clanging against one another. “You did not tell us to expect you!”
If there was one thing Esofi disliked about Asta, it was the fact that there was little difference in the voice she used to lead services and the voice she used to address others. Esofi tried to whisper around her, in hopes that she might catch the hint and adjust her own volume, but Asta never did.
“It’s all right, Asta. We were just hoping to view the plans for the university.”
“Then this must be…” Asta’s eyes narrowed before she sank into a rapid curtsy. “Your Majesty.”
“Is everyone here so familiar with you?” asked Gaelle in Rhodian.
“It’s different here, Mother,” replied Esofi in a voice a little sharper than she had intended. Asta lifted her head, frowning. “It’s all right, Asta. Let’s have a look at those drawings.”
“I will bring them for you.” Asta turned and strode from the room, in the direction of the staircase that led to the temple’s private library. This was unusual because normally Esofi would just go up to the library herself. But it seemed the acolytes were not the only ones uncomfortable with Gaelle’s presence.
Just as Asta disappeared up the stairs, the doors to the main area of the temple opened and another young woman stepped out.
“Oh, Princess,” said Eydis. “You’ve returned from Fenstell!”
“Yes, but don’t let me interrupt you if you’re teaching.”
“Oh no, I’m not teaching today. I’d only stepped in for a moment to oversee.” Eydis smiled and glanced down toward Esofi’s feet. “You didn’t bring Carinth today?”
“No, I’m afraid not.”
“That’s too bad,” sighed Eydis. “Well, never mind. I’m sorry the archpriestess is not taking any visitors today. She has been…a little confused, these last few days.”
“I understand,” said Esofi. “And it’s fine. I just sent Asta to bring the plans for the University. My mother wished to see them.”
“Actually, I don’t really care,” came Gaelle’s voice from somewhere behind her.
“The construction is coming along so quickly!” Esofi said to Eydis, determined to ignore both her mother’s words and the way they’d made her heartbeat falter. “How have things been here?”
“Oh…” Eydis wrung her hands together, eyes locked still on Gaelle. “We’re fine. We’re all fine. How was your meeting at Fenstell?”
“It went very well, I think,” said Esofi. Or at least it had until the impromptu ending. “I don’t think we’ll have to worry about dragon attacks for a very long time.”
Eydis clearly wanted to say more, but perhaps Gaelle’s presence was too intimidating. Fortunately, Asta was quick to return, bearing the familiar drawings in her hands. Once she arrived, Eydis mumbled something about tea and vanished again.
Esofi had known from the start that there would be no way to pull Eydis and Asta aside and remind them of the temple’s fragile reputation without her mother overhearing. And she could just imagine what Gaelle would say if she found out the priestesses had been bickering in public. Esofi would never hear the end of it. She would have to try again another day or hope they got the message from her presence alone.
“There’s a room this way,” Esofi said to Gaelle, gesturing off to the side. “We can sit there, instead of standing out in the open.”
The room was small and would not fit more than three or four people at most. It had been used for storage until the resurgence of Talcia’s worship. Some of the newly blessed students had started studying there when classes were not in session. It was empty today, save for the little table and few chairs that were always there.
Despite her mother’s words to the contrary, Esofi could see the interest in her eyes as she looked over the drawings. For a few minutes, they sat in peaceful silence, until Gaelle set the designs down on the table between them.
“You should support the younger one,” said Gaelle idly.
“What?”
“The younger priestess. For archpriestess. She is soft. She will be easier to control.”
I do not wish to control her. Esofi did not say it aloud because she knew that would only get a scornful laugh from Gaelle. Instead she glanced to the door to make sure it was truly closed and said, “You may be right. But even so, that is no guarantee she will be named.”
It was not so in Rhodia. In Rhodia, Gaelle’s support was more akin to a mandate, and everyone knew it. No archpriest had been appointed that she or Esofi’s father did not publicly support first.
“I want a Silence established here,” said Gaelle.
Esofi stared at her hands.
“Did you hear me?”
“There are not enough worshippers,” said Esofi, clenching her fists in her lap.
“Esofi, what have you been doing for the last two years?” Gaelle snapped. “You failed to identify Carinth’s blessing, your ‘university’ is a pile of stones, and you have no heir! I should have known the moment you were out of my sight, you would revert to your old ways.”
There was no point in arguing. There never was. But Esofi’s silence seemed to annoy Gaelle further.
“There is no reason for you to not have at least one child by now,” Gaelle went on. “Unless, of course, you are failing to keep the Crown Princess’s attention.”
Esofi nearly jumped out of her seat. It was only the small size of the room that kept her in place. “What?”
“Well, let’s be realistic, Esofi. I know her reputation. And—well, just look at you. I’d hardly call you two an ideal match.”
“We’re—”
“You need to give more thought to your appearance before you lose her completely.”
“That isn’t going to happen!”
“I know you believe that, but I’ve seen how these things go.” Gaelle sat back in her seat. “I suggest you take my words to heart before it’s too late to salvage things.”
“Stop it,” said Esofi, her voice rising sharply. “You don’t even believe what you’re saying! You’re only trying to hurt me!”
The door opened, and Esofi’s mouth snapped shut. An acolyte in pale blue robes held a tea-tray in one hand, her eyes wide and face stricken.
“I—I’m sorry—” squeaked the girl. Esofi rose and took the tray from her hands before Gaelle could reprimand her for entering without knocking first. The girl turned and fled, her footsteps echoing on the stone.
“I’m the only one who will tell you the truth. You should be grateful for that,” said Gaelle as Esofi set the tray down on the table. “Look around you! By the Ten, do you think there’s a single Ieflarian who would tell you something you didn’t want to hear? They all know you will be their queen someday!”
“All this just because I don’t want to establish a Silence?” asked Esofi. Her nose stung with the effort of holding back tears, and she turned to sit down so she could calm herself without Gaelle seeing. Then she took one of the teacups from the tray so she would have a good excuse to not look her mother in the eye.
She knew her mother was only grasping wildly at anything she thought might get a reaction out of Esofi, that the words themselves were meaningless. But for some reason, that did not make it hurt any less. Gaelle might be correct, if only by accident. She’d been pushing Adale away, so much so that Adale had begged her to stop.
How much more could she except Adale to tolerate?
“Oh, so now you’re ready to talk about the Silence?” asked Gaelle.
“The Temple of Talcia is still weak! If I pull it in two, neither organization will be an asset to me, or to you!”
“To me?” Gaelle repeated. “Is that what this is about?”
Esofi fell silent, but a thin smile stretched across Gaelle’s lips.
