by Calia Read
Her body was manually turned. Severine smiled up at Macsen. “Probably not.”
His eyes bulged. “Seriously?’
“Yeah...” Severine paused and glanced at him as they walked across campus. “Why?”
“For once, I’m going out, and you’re not. Something is wrong with that picture.”
“I stay at home sometimes,” Severine protested lightly.
“Yes,” Macsen agreed. His arm went across her shoulders and hugged her tightly to his body. She savored the way her heart kicked up in its rhythm and smelled his cologne. Severine wanted to lick him. “But I want to see you.”
Everything with Macsen seemed natural. Spending time with him was something she looked forward to. He brought a smile to her face. “You could always stay back with me. Hey! I know, we can rent some sappy movie and make fun of how everyone cries!”
Macsen peered down at her and his mouth kicked up in a grin. “Your enjoyment over people’s tears sometimes scares me, Sev.”
Her eyes turned round as she replayed his words. No one called her Sev. She wasn’t a nickname type of person, and up until now, she never thought she’d want one. If it was anyone else, she’d be correcting them, but when Sev came out Macsen’s mouth she liked the sound of it. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“I want to. But I told Chris and Thayer I’d go out with them.”
Her back went up a notch. Macsen seemed oblivious. “You’re actually doing something with your brother?” Severine kept her voice light and played with the zipper of her jacket.
“I know. Hell has officially frozen over,” Macsen joked. Severine didn’t smile. “He asked me last night. Said there was some new bar in The Ville he wanted to try out.”
“Yeah?” Blood was pounding in her ears loudly.
“Someplace called Monty’s.”
“Sounds good.” Keep your voice neutral. He won’t notice anything is wrong.
Thayer was doing this to keep Macsen away. He knew she didn’t want to go. Everything to him was a game.
“I don’t plan on being out long.” He glanced down at her once and smiled. “Come with me.”
Her laugh came out choked. “Nah. I’ll let you go with your brother. You guys need some brotherly bonding time.”
“Yeah, that will never happen. Ever.”
* * * * *
Come over.
Severine picked up her phone and smirked at the screen. It’s too freakin’ late.
A reply came back instantly. Just come over. I wanna see you. I miss you.
It wasn’t a love sonnet. But it made Severine feel good. It made her feel wanted. She tapped on her screen to write back, but Macsen texted her again.
The guys are driving me nuts. U’d like to see me. Admit it.
I would. That’s why you should’ve hung out with me tonight.
Wasn’t thinkin clearly. Come over.
Keep begging.
Okay. I have no pride when it comes to you.
Severine was sliding her feet onto her shoes and grabbing her keys while she texted back.
I’ll be there soon.
* * * * *
It took her fifteen minutes and many phone calls to Lily for Severine to finally figure out where the Sloan brothers lived. It was a typical apartment off campus. Two stories, tan siding, and a parking lot filled with cars.
Her screen flashed midnight, and she wondered what she was really doing here right now. Wasn’t she breaking every rule in her book? She was going; she was visiting. It should be the opposite.
Following Lily’s direction, Severine found their apartment on the first floor. The door in front of her was painted a dull brown with a few pieces of paint chipped off. Severine rang the doorbell and heard it ring from inside. No noise was coming from inside, which could only mean one thing: they weren’t home.
Severine immediately turned back to her car. She wasn’t going to wait for them. She was already generous enough to come see Macsen at this time.
“Hey! Everybody, it’s Save-uhhh-reeen,” Chris sloppily called out.
With her arms crossed, Severine took in the sight of Chris. Behind him was Macsen, holding up a completely wasted Thayer. He lifted up his head to glance at her and groaned loudly.
Macsen grinned crookedly. “Hey, Sev.”
He invited her over for this shit? Severine ground her teeth together and ignored Macsen. If she wanted to watch a group of incoherent drunk people she’d watch Cops. There was no reason to stay here.
That was the plan...until she glanced at Thayer. His eyes were as good as dead. As he stared at her with a tortured expression, Macsen dragged them closer to the apartment door. Severine wrapped her arms tight around her torso. She wanted her arms around him.
Sympathy was something she rarely gave out. But right now, she wanted to know the source of his agony.
The truth came out when people were drunk. Dark sides were revealed. Feelings were exposed. And then you pretended not to know what happened the next day. It tortured you, though. Severine wanted to know Thayer’s true thoughts. What dragged him down to this point?
Severine looked to the most sober, which unfortunately, happened to be Chris. “What happened to him?” Severine demanded.
“He’s El Drunko, Blake.”
Severine stomped forward. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes permeated the air around them. They all reeked. “I got that, genius, but I’m just wondering why he’s so shit-faced.”
Macsen piped in with his two cents. Right now, she wanted to beat him with her purse. “It was his idea to go!”
“Afterafew hours wes figured it was times to stop the drinkfest,” Chris slurred out, trying to reach for his keys.
“Here, give them to me.” Severine held her hand out. While Chris fumbled around to find his keys, Severine replaced his hold on Thayer.
“Uhh,” Severine groaned out. The dude weighed a ton. Her face was shoved against his pec, on his smoke-filled shirt. It was probably the least sexy position a girl had ever been in with Thayer. She was somehow the lucky girl chosen for this. “I can’t hold all his weight,” Severine grunted out.
Macsen mumbled something before he quickly moved away. All of Thayer’s weight came against her. Their feet became tangled together, and the two of them fumbled backwards in a bush next to the sidewalk.
It could’ve been much worse. But right now, Severine couldn’t think of anything crueler than having Thayer on top of her, especially when he had no clue what was going on.
“I think a twig has gone through my pants and punctured my butt,” Severine wheezed out.
Thayer mumbled something incoherent and wrapped himself closer to Severine. Was he aware they were stuck in a bush, and she could quite possibly have some internal bleeding going on?
His knee shifted, and he was one movement away from touching her crotch. Severine’s eyes blinked open wide. Punctured wound or not, her skin was starting to feel hot for reasons that it shouldn’t.
Severine put her hands between them and tried to push. “Okay bud. You need to get up. My lungs are officially crushed.”
“Mmm,” Thayer whispered, “I like this position.”
Her heart was a coward, it wanted to book it in the opposite direction, out of fear.
“Macsen,” Severine rasped out. “Get him off.”
“Fuck,” Macsen slurred out. His hand latched onto Thayer’s arm. Between the two of them, they finally got Thayer off of her.
Her butt was stinging and she probably looked like shit, but she slowly helped Thayer into his apartment. Macsen flipped on the light, and Severine looked around.
Their place wasn’t much to brag about, but, then again, it was an all male apartment. If it was anything different, then it might raise her eyebrows. The walls were a plain, drab white, with nothing decorating them, except the clock hanging across from the table.
A brown suede couch, in surprisingly good shape, was placed against the wall. Across from it was a huge, flat
screen TV, spotless of smudges and marks. Severine peered at the clear glass doors of the brown entertainment center and saw a few gaming consoles, with games stacked neatly on the shelves. They couldn’t decorate worth a shit, but when it came to electronics, they were on top of it.
Chris walked out of the narrow hallway, shirtless and drinking water. “Uh...he should probably go lay down.”
“Gee, Chris, you’re good,” Severine snorted out.
Her shoulder was becoming numb. And unfortunately, her butt was past stinging and now burning. What did she land on, an arrowhead?
“Thayer’s bedroom is the first one on the right!” Chris yelled before belching loudly.
“Make yourself useful and go get a trashcan and washcloth,” Severine yelled back.
A lamp was already lit in Thayer’s room—a queen-sized bed with messy sheets was in the far corner. Hardly anything was on the walls, save a calendar and thumbtack board. A desk and dresser were the only other furniture in the room.
Thayer lurched toward his dresser and attempted to empty the change from his back pocket. After the fifth try, with him finally leaning on the dresser, he got it.
“Here, why don’t you lay down?” Severine stepped forward and helped him to the bed. Thayer said nothing. Everything was too still between the two of them. The silence threw Severine off. Usually, there was an implied arrangement between the two of them. When around each other, darts would be thrown. Seeing Thayer outside of those lines, without any of his quips, scared her.
When he finally dropped down to the bed, he flipped over on his back and glanced at her face with a reverent expression. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be with him. Call her a chicken shit. Right now, she couldn’t hold on to everything that was happening.
“I’m gonna go. Macsen and Chris are here. I’d like to say they’d help ya out, but they won’t. So just aim for the trashcan, K?” Severine positioned the trashcan right next to his bed and rose to her feet.
Thayer wrapped his fingers around her knee, and she froze. If she kept this position long enough, maybe she could just disappear from sight. Her jeans were close to melding into her skin, giving a whole new meaning to the word ‘jeggings.’
“Why are you being semi-decent to me?”
“’Cause you look like shit,” Severine gently said.
“Here.” A wad of clothes flew in the air and landed next to Thayer’s waist. Macsen stood in the doorway with a strange expression. He walked out before Severine could say anything.
“Thanks, little brother!” Thayer called out. A hard edge to his words made the smile from Severine’s face slowly fade away.
“I need to go,” Severine repeated.
Thayer smiled lazily and held his arms out in front of him. “You wanna help, Blake?”
Yes, yes, yes! Instead of saying that, she cocked her head to the side and stared. “You can’t take your clothes off by yourself?”
Thayer lifted a brow, shook his head no, and waited.
She was a dummy if she didn’t get her fill of what was underneath his shirt. A cheeky smile covered his lips, and Severine swore he knew what she was envisioning.
If she walked away, she’d be doing the right thing, but all of the women around the world would be shouting and cussing at her for not jumping on the bed and helping him.
She gave a brief nod, and the hand wrapped around her knee yanked her to kneel on the bed. What was she hoping to achieve with this? This. Was. Wrong.
Thayer lay in front of her, motioning for her to come closer. She was going to reach forward, even if she regretted it. Her fingers grabbed the hem of his cotton shirt. Thayer shifted forward as Severine lifted his shirt above his head.
Of course, her eyes glanced down. Indents of muscles created ridges on his stomach. Severine wanted to agree with her urges. Her fingers wanted to touch what her eyes saw.
Instead, she kept both hands close to her legs. In the quiet of the room, her breathing seemed amplified. With one quick glance at Thayer, she knew he was trying to keep his wits.
Looking at him made things worse. It wrapped her closer to him and made her want to drag in every breath of air that specifically made him Thayer.
“All right. I think you’ve got the rest,” her voice shook.
She wasn’t the type of person that let her nerves take control. When you lost all power, you were far behind.
Thayer remained still. Other than the rustle of sheet, no sound was made from him.
“Are you okay?” Severine asked inaudibly.
Thayer nodded, but his eyes were impaled with pain—pain that didn’t come from drinking.
All Severine could do was mimic his nod. Her eyes focused on the black sheets of his bed and toward his waist. This time, it took no effort for her to read Calvin Klein.
How many girls had seen him in this position? Severine had no one to point the finger at for her thoughts—they broke through her shields. She wasn’t ready to feel jealous.
Thayer’s hand firmly held one of her own. Severine didn’t try to move away. It was time to confront this fear, and perhaps her biggest desire, directly.
He was simply a guy, but the way he was staring at her lips made him so much more than simple.
“Can I tell you something?” Thayer asked quietly.
Severine barely heard him. She nodded her head, and he smiled back lazily. Even drunk, he was gorgeous perfection.
“I saw you first,” he rasped out deeply.“Remember that. I saw you first.”
Severine, trying to keep the conversation light, smiled weakly. “At the coffee shop?”
His head shifted back and forth, while his eyelids drooped down. Severine was waiting for him to pass out and drift off into a deep sleep. He shifted slightly. “I’d seen you many times before that.”
She swallowed loudly. “When?”
“Around campus with your friend, Lily. At a couple of parties.” Slowly, his lips rounded into a small smile. Instinctively, Severine held her breath. “You know, you’re like no other girl I’ve ever met. I love that you don’t put up with bullshit.” His eyes poured out all of his secrets. Her heart was ruined. Without trying, she was falling for him. “You’re rare, Severine. Just like your name. It’s impossible to forget you.”
She blinked rapidly. Severine couldn’t reciprocate anything worthwhile. Her brain was mush. It was melting fast.
“Can I tell you something else?”
No, no, no.
Severine sucked in her cheeks tightly and nodded stiffly. “I stole Macsen’s phone and texted you tonight.”
“So I was talking to you.”
“Would you have come over if you knew it was me?”
Swallowing felt painful. “Honestly? No.” The truth had never tasted so bitter.
“Then you can’t be mad at me for being deceitful.”
As she sat there in a state of confusion, Thayer drifted to sleep. Severine shifted away from his bed and reached over to cover him with a blanket.
A deep breath escaped her mouth. Her hand reached out and traced a line from his cheekbone, down to his lips. He didn’t react. It was a relief to Severine. She doubted they’d ever have a peaceful moment together like this again. Gentle, harmonious occasions in life were rare. Severine knew that this moment would be permanently captured in her mind.
Severine was a greedy, selfish person. She wanted everything. Right now, sitting here with Thayer, she wanted to keep this moment forever. Nothing gave her the right to desire it so much.
A light cough came from the doorway. Severine glanced up quickly to find Macsen standing there, watching her. He glanced down at his brother, and her fingers shook as she took them away from his face.
She walked toward the door. Her voice a whisper, she said, “I guess I should be going.”
Macsen nodded his head miserably. “Sorry about, uh...”
“About getting wasted?” Severine asked as they walked side by side down the hall. “You had fun, Macsen. Somethi
ng you should probably do more often.”
He gave her a brief nod and leaned on the kitchen island.
“Remember to check up on him later,” Severine said as she wrapped her scarf around her neck.
“I don’t think I’m the person he’s hoping will check up on him.”
“Are you talking about moi?” Severine tried to joke, but her voice sounded strained, betraying the awkwardness she was feeling.
Macsen picked at the beige carpet with his sock. The silence lingered between them. Finally he spoke. “What were you guys doing in there?”
“Nothing,” Severine said stiffly.
He shut his eyes and briefly held them tight before opening them. “I think it would’ve been more than nothing if I hadn’t walked in when I did.”
“But you got there just in time, didn’t ya?”
The air was thick with tension. Severine stared uncomfortably at Macsen, his expression unreadable.
“Do you like my brother?”
She wanted to tell him that she didn’t know. All she could give him was silence.
Sometimes, saying nothing was worse than saying anything. “Maybe you should go to bed too, Macsen,” Severine lightly spoke.
He breathed out of his nose and harshly laughed. “Do you think I’m wasted like him? That I don’t know what I’m doing?”
That’s exactly what Severine was thinking. From the way he was acting, she knew he was a little tipsy.
“No. I didn’t say that. I’ll see you later. All right?”
With the doorknob in her hand, she watched as he nodded and walked down the hall.
Severine knew he wouldn’t check on his brother.
Chapter Nine
Remember that. I saw you first.
Was that why Severine was here, because of those words?
She gathered her black pea coat closer to her body and knocked on the door, only louder this time.
Finally, the door creaked open. A mussed up Thayer opened the door. His eyes widened slightly before squinting from the sunlight.
He opened the door as he scratched his bare chest, the same chest she’d gaped openly at last night. A pair of sweatpants hung low on his hips. Even hung-over, he looked amazing.
