Prior to discovering all of this, she’d made plans to go to Telluride, Colorado, with her husband to see the summer bluegrass festival. Her friends and family immediately suggested that she cancel her plans. How on earth, they argued, could she possibly go on a vacation with someone who had so blatantly violated her confidence? Furthermore, how could she justify the expense, given that she just found out she was now partner to an outrageous debt?
These were legitimate arguments for calling off the trip, or so her ego said. But her Spirit rebelled. To call off the trip would feed her fears, indulge her victim hood, and put her in a place to feel like a martyr. But it would do nothing positive for her Spirit. Quite the opposite—it would deny her Spirit a great source of joy.
Elizabeth wouldn’t succumb. The trip was already paid for, and going wouldn’t hurt anyone. Yes, she felt betrayed by her husband for his self-serving business practices and sneaky refinancing, and she was angry. But at the same time she realized that to call off the trip to spite him would only further hurt her. The same was true of going alone: She wanted to share the experience of mountain biking, camping, and enjoying the music with him, not experience them by herself. Those things fed her Spirit.
So she kept her plans intact, and off they went, although she was by no means at peace about it . . . that is, until the music started. Standing in front of center stage, she heard the very first strum of the very first banjo and at that moment all the negativity and anxiety that surrounded her flowed out of her bones, out of her body, out of her aura, and finally out of her being altogether.
The music, the vibratory food for her Spirit, was transmitting real energy and life force to her. The more she listened, the higher her vibration became. She danced, she sang, and she lost herself in the ecstasy of the music. Nothing else mattered. This went on for several days.
She intuitively knew without question that her husband’s struggle to be creative took him to the other city, where he was able to avail himself of more opportunities than where they lived. She also knew that in no way had he intended to deceive her about his financing and partnering decisions. Rather, he had meant to protect her—he wanted to keep her from worry. She also knew, after a particularly rewarding jam session with a beloved band at the festival, that although seemingly dubious, her husband’s projects were sound and would work out. She was absolutely financially safe and secure.
The most important part of this story is that none of these profound and accurate revelations came about from a dialogue between the two of them. She simply “got it,” slipping out of the vibration of subjective ego-based fear and into the flow of her Divine self through the conduit of the music. The bluegrass festival fed her Spirit, rejuvenated her cells, shifted her vibration, and gave her access to her authentic self. From there she knew with certainty beyond words that both her Spirit and earthly worlds, in spite of appearances, weren’t going to collapse.
I’ve had so many experiences where music led me back to my authentic self when many other avenues failed. Listening to David Bowie brought me to my first breakthrough experience in manifestation. I played his Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars album daily while imagining attracting a boyfriend—one who liked to dance and was as outrageous as I was. I met Randy three weeks later. I knew that he was a keeper because he wore red rhinestone platform shoes that matched my white rhinestone platform shoes. We were an item throughout high school.
In addition, listening to Led Zeppelin’s “Going to California” gave me the resolve to study abroad, Gregorian chants opened me up to writing, and Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony lent me the courage to teach.
I’m not alone in being fed by music. It feeds every soul. My friend Louise swears that having Mozart playing in the background in the hospital cured her of Hodgkin’s disease. Even Einstein attributes the stimulus for his theory of relativity to music.
Bob Dylan is my daughter Sabrina’s soul food. Pink Floyd is the main ingredient for my other daughter’s musical feast. Mozart speaks to my husband. I like good old rock and roll.
Consciously connect to music as one of your nonnegotiable sources of self-love. It’s powerful fuel for your Spirit. When you disconnect from it, you disconnect from your Spirit. And when you gain access to your authentic self (which can only be done through acts of self-love), you can see the Big Picture, going beyond your fears and to the truth. Only then can you make the highest, most informed choices for your well-being.
Simple Practice: Celebrate Life
The way to wholeness, satisfaction, and tremendous inner peace is to live from your Spirit and celebrate it. To celebrate life is to enjoy it—to engage in it without guilt, fear, or control and instead accept and embrace it for the grand adventure that it is.
To enjoy life is easy. Start by simply noticing it around you. You can begin in your own kitchen as you eat breakfast. Notice the fragrant smell of the coffee as it brews. Observe the beautiful color of your orange juice as you pour it into a glass. Pay attention to the “snap, crackle, pop” of your Rice Krispies as you pour milk over them. If you notice life right in front of your face, it’s very entertaining to the senses.
Look around your environment and notice something you’ve overlooked or have never fully seen or experienced before, such as the detailing in the fabric on your furniture or the intricate white patterns on the orchid leaves in your living room.
We have delightful creations all around us, yet if we’re mesmerized by our ego mind, we don’t even pay attention to them—that is, until they aren’t there anymore. Only then do we recognize the joy they brought us.
I was reminded of this several years ago when we had a goldfish that swam ’round and ’round in a fish tank on our kitchen counter. He had an unusually shaped head, so we named him Brainy. Brainy lived for years and years. Someone fed him once a day, but other than that we rarely stopped to notice him one way or the other.
One afternoon as I was standing with my husband next to the fish tank, I looked in and noticed that Brainy was gone. Puzzled, I asked Patrick if he knew where Brainy was. Looking into the tank, he, too, was surprised and quite confused. Immediately our suspicions turned to a new housekeeper we’d hired several days earlier.
“Oh no! Do you think the housekeeper killed and flushed Brainy?” I wondered.
Thinking the worst and upset at the thought, Patrick indignantly said, “Maybe, but that’s pretty bold if she did.” Peering into the empty tank, he added, “That makes me angry!”
Not believing someone would actually ditch the family pet, even if it was only a goldfish, Patrick reached into the aquarium to see if Brainy was hiding behind something and we just didn’t see him. It was a fruitless effort, because the only thing in the tank was an old conch shell in the corner.
As he moved the shell, our daughters walked in from playing soccer. “What are you doing?” they asked, seeing us both hovering over the aquarium.
“Looking for Brainy,” I said. “Have you seen him?”
“No!” they shrieked, upset to hear that Brainy was missing. “Where is he? Oh my God, what’s happened to Brainy? Did he die?”
“I don’t know,” replied Patrick, puzzled. “He’s just gone.” Just to be certain, Patrick pulled out the conch shell so as not to miss anything, but as he did, he heard something flopping around inside the shell. He shook it a few times and sure enough, a flop, flop, flop was audible.
“I think he’s trapped inside the shell,” Patrick said.
“Shake it again,” I urged. Sure enough, we could all hear flop, flop, flop.
“Oh my gosh—he’s inside!” I screamed, going into emergency mode. “Shake him out. He’ll die without water.”
Patrick kicked into 911 action. He shook and shook the shell, but Brainy didn’t fall out. By now the girls were screaming, too, fearing for the goldfish’s life. “Hurry, Dad! He’ll die if you don’t hurry.” Shake as he might, all he could do was flop Brainy around inside.
“We have to break the sh
ell open,” Patrick said. “He’s stuck.”
By now Brainy had been without water for at least a minute. Time was of the essence. “Hurry!” we screamed. “Break it!”
Patrick rushed out the back door and slammed the shell on the sidewalk, trying to break it. It didn’t work, so he smashed it again and again. My daughters and I hysterically urged him on. “Harder, smash it harder. Hurryyy! He’ll die!”
The fourth attempt worked: The conch shell broke open and Brainy flew out. We screamed as Patrick caught him in midair with both hands. By now at least five minutes had passed since Brainy had been in the water. We rushed back to the aquarium, Patrick leading the way, and threw the fish in. No doubt traumatized by lack of water, aggressive shaking, and ultimately being slammed into the sidewalk, Brainy lay there motionless, floating on the water.
“He’s dead!” the girls moaned in despair. “Brainy’s dead!” They burst into tears. Holding hands and crying, we all stared in shock at the goldfish’s motionless body.
Ten seconds later, Brainy jerked and then jerked again. “Look!’” screamed Patrick. We couldn’t believe our eyes. Brainy jerked again and then, just as though nothing had happened, took off swimming.
“Hooray!” we screamed, hugging one another with joy at Brainy’s resuscitation. Staring into the aquarium, all four of us couldn’t believe our luck that Brainy had survived. We were in pure bliss watching our bulbous-headed goldfish swim slowly back and forth.
Brainy taught us all something important that day: to appreciate life and take none of it for granted. Never before was I as happy to see Brainy as I was the day after his near-death experience. He lived on to give us five more years of beautiful days, because every time we saw him from that moment forward, we felt his presence as a gift not to be overlooked.
Celebrating life is an act of Spirit. It clears the mental fog and confusion of feeling sorry for yourself and reminds you to remember that everything in life is a gift. Every moment, every experience, is a gift from God for you to appreciate.
It’s so easy for the ego to distract you from all there is to celebrate. It takes life’s gifts for granted, shoving them aside and encouraging you to ignore them, while pining away for what’s not there instead. How easy it is to forget that everything is a gift, and every gift is a reason to celebrate.
Twenty-six years ago I had an experience that has stayed with me ever since, reminding me always to celebrate life. I was preparing to get married, and as a wedding gift my sister paid to have my aunt and uncle travel from then-Communist Romania to attend the ceremony. It was the first time any of my mother’s relatives would visit the States or meet her family since she had been separated from them as a child during World War II.
When they arrived, they were overwhelmed by the abundance flowing everywhere. The most poignant moment, however, was when we stopped at the local grocery store to buy dinner and took them along. When my aunt and uncle, who had been accustomed to so little, saw the shelves upon shelves of fresh food, produce, meats, and fish, they were overcome with emotion. They could barely speak, and both of them cried. “To think there is this much to enjoy,” they said, trying to take it all in.
What was to be a quick run to the store turned into a three-hour excursion as they strolled through the aisles, smelling produce, tasting the day’s samples, and looking at shelf after shelf of offerings. They marveled at everything, and seeing it through their eyes, I did, too.
It was indeed a gift that we as Americans had such easy access to such abundance, and it was worth celebrating. My wedding—with my aunt and uncle in attendance—was a truly incredible celebration of love, life, family, and appreciation. If ever I feel deprived or sorry for myself, I need only think of that day and my Spirit soars once again.
With my mom growing up during the war and my dad growing up during the Depression years, we were raised to celebrate the small things in life all the time. Because the abundance available to us wasn’t something they took for granted, we were encouraged not to do so either.
Fridays in our home were a cause for great celebration because it was ice-cream day. At the end of the week, my father got paid at work and always stopped by the local creamery and brought home two gallons of hand-packed ice cream, just enough to give his family of seven kids their fill. We sang folk songs at the top of our lungs as we enjoyed our bowls of ice cream together. It was a weekly party.
Another tradition my mother instituted was the “Weren’t We Great Party.” For this Friday-night gathering, we took turns telling each other about one of our greatest moments during the week. It could have been when one of us aced a test at school, helped a friend, made a basket on the basketball court, baked a homemade cake, or managed to finish our homework on time. The point wasn’t so much to commemorate what we did as it was simply to celebrate life.
This taught us to make our own party rather than waiting to be invited to someone else’s. To this day I love to enjoy a good “Weren’t We Great Party” with my family and friends. It’s a reason to laugh, to acknowledge ourselves and others, and to appreciate the good things in life.
You don’t need an excuse to celebrate. To love yourself and all of life’s abundance and blessings is reason enough. Life is a beautiful gift, and every day brings with it so much cause to celebrate that it’s simply time you do. Don’t wait to be invited to life’s party. Be the party yourself.
Start by celebrating the little things. If you’re alive, that in itself is a good reason. If you have clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and people who love you, then you have every reason in the world to celebrate. Rejoice in good days because you accomplished positive things. Celebrate difficult days because you got through them.
I had a young client named Jeremy who was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 22 years old. With a bleak prognosis and his healing options running out, he decided to celebrate his birthday every day he had left. He sang “Happy Birthday” to himself, bought himself cards, and treated himself to balloons and festivities.
Jeremy had been given three months to live; he actually lived two more years. Right before he died, we spoke. He said, “The best gift I ever received was my tumor. I existed for 22 years, but I wasn’t alive. After my tumor, I woke up and have enjoyed every minute as if there were no tomorrow, and I’ve had more fun and joy than in all the prior 22 years.”
STEP 10
Choose Kindness
Simple Lesson: Choose Kindness
This step strives to have you share your Spirit with those around you. In doing so, its light becomes even stronger and more powerful. The practice that follows permanently connects you to the inner guidance of your Spirit, eliminating moments of confusion and fear and replacing them with confidence. At the same time, you’ll also become a catalyst for awakening the Spirit in others. This is the greatest experience of self-love and Spirit-guided living you can hope to have. No longer struggling in the dark, you become a light in the world.
The greatest joy the Spirit knows is to share its light and love with others. Unlike the ego—which is driven by the question What’s in it for me?—the Spirit feels complete and wants to share this satisfaction with as many as possible. To share our Spirit with another is one of the most healing and empowering experiences we can create for ourselves. Happily, the way is simple: All we must do is be kind.
Kindness is our loving Spirit in action. It allows our Divine nature to take over and lead our lives. When we’re kind, we embody this nature and use it to feed and fuel the light in the world.
To be kind is to live with grace, dignity, and elegance. It means taking an interest in life and caring about it enough to make it better for you and others. It’s a powerful and profoundly self-loving choice, primarily because the law of the Universe dictates that what goes around comes around. In other words, every act—kind or otherwise—comes back to you manyfold. The kinder you are to others, the more love and kindness will return to you. Conversely, no matter how justified an unkind
word or action may feel to you, it will return to you with a vengeance a thousandfold.
This law is in place to introduce us to ourselves. No matter how we try to escape ourselves, we can’t. What-ever we do, whatever action we take, whatever energy we express to one another in the world, eventually we’ll experience the same energy returning to us from those around us. We get what we give, so it only takes giving fully of our heart and Spirit to others to ensure our complete happiness and joy.
My spiritual teacher, Dr. Tully, once told me that one of the best ways to be kind is not to stir up the emotional waters of others. When we rouse someone else’s emotions, we cause stress, anxiety, defensiveness, worry, and fear to erupt from the person’s ego. These are some of the most painful vibrations to course through our human nervous system. To set these turbulent waters into motion in others is hurtful, yet we do this all the time. And we do it in such subtle ways that we aren’t even aware we’re doing it.
We stir up stress and fear in others when we raise our voice or speak too harshly. We stir the waters of others’ emotions when we snap at them; speak impatiently; and communicate with a prideful, irritated, or condescending tone. We may not even be aware that our tone is harsh, yet we still unleash a tsunami of fear and anxiety in others through a careless word or sarcastic remark.
For example, I was waiting to board an airplane in Chicago several years ago when it was announced that the plane was unexpectedly delayed. The gate area was full, and clearly the news upset everyone waiting to get on the flight.
One of the passengers was a young mother traveling with her three-or four-year-old son. I could tell by his energy and behavior that this was his first flight and he was extremely excited about his upcoming adventure. While we sat waiting to board the plane, he talked enthusiastically to his mom about where he would sit and how he would look out the window once in the air. He wondered if he would be able to see the ground after takeoff and if everyone was going to the same place. He freely shared his anticipatory musings as he prepared himself for this big adventure. It was evident that his heart was wide open with delight.
The Answer Is Simple- Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit! Page 14
