Everly Dalton’s Dating Disasters
Claire Kingsley
Contents
Introduction
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Faking Ms. Right: Chapter 1
Also by Claire Kingsley
About the Author
Copyright © 2019 by Claire Kingsley
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, places, or incidents are products of the author’s imagination and used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual people, places, or events is purely coincidental or fictionalized.
Published by Always Have, LLC
Edited by Elayne Morgan of Serenity Editing Services
Cover by Kari March
www.clairekingsleybooks.com
Created with Vellum
Introduction
Everly Dalton is a self-proclaimed dating disaster. Join her as she dishes to her friends on girls’ night about her adventures in dating. Will she keep finding frogs, or eventually meet her Prince Charming?
* * *
This series originally appeared in Claire Kingsley’s newsletter. Each episode chronicles one of Everly’s (typically terrible) dates. They take place before the beginning of Everly’s book, Faking Ms. Right, which releases on May 23rd.
Episode 1
“It’s official,” I said, after the bartender left with our drink orders. “I have the worst dating luck in the history of ever.”
It was girls’ night, and I’d met my best friends Nora and Hazel for drinks at one of our favorite bars. It was possible we came here a lot. The bartender had even nicknamed us—the Dirty Martini Running Club. We did go running—sometimes—but we liked our martinis more.
Nora reached over and squeezed my arm with her perfectly manicured hand. As always, she was the epitome of style in her pretty peach sweater and boyfriend jeans, her thick brown hair cascading around her shoulders. “Aw, honey. That bad?”
“That bad.”
“Before you’re too hard on yourself, remember luck can’t be quantified with data.” Hazel adjusted her glasses. Her black and white pintuck dress looked more like work attire than a girls’ night dress. But that was Hazel. As was her insistence on using data to prove any assertion.
“We both know it’s true,” Nora said. “Data or no, Everly is definitely the biggest dating disaster in the history of ever.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Thanks.”
“I mean that with love, sweetie,” Nora said. “Do you want to tell us, or just drink about it?”
The bartender came back with our martinis, setting them gently on the table.
“I think both.” I took a sip. “Okay, so I met Zack on that new dating app.”
Nora rolled her eyes. “Well, that was your first mistake.”
“I know, I know. But I did all the right things. We texted a little bit before deciding to meet. I swear, there were no red flags. He didn’t send dick pics or anything. He seemed so normal.”
Hazel and Nora shared a glance.
I took a deep breath. “So we met at Victrola Coffee, and at first, everything was great…”
I walked into Victrola Coffee Roasters and smoothed down my shirt. I’d opted for a loose-fitting pink sweater with distressed jeans and ankle boots. Casual, but still cute—and a little sexy. With my blond hair down and wavy, I thought it was a good look for a first date.
Zack was already here, seated at a table near the back. He lifted a hand in greeting and I breathed out a sigh of relief. He actually looked like his profile picture. That was a nice change. The last guy I’d met for coffee had clearly been using a fake photo to hide his male pattern baldness. I hadn’t even recognized him.
I smiled and waved back. Zack was cute. Really cute. Thick, dark hair. That dark-brow/blue-eye combination I liked so much. Chiseled jaw. My heart did a little skip as he stood. Tall. So many men lied on their dating profiles about their height. Zack obviously hadn’t. His blue shirt and jeans fit his toned frame perfectly.
This guy wasn’t just cute. He was hot.
“Hi,” I said. “I’m Everly.”
“Zack.” He walked around to my side of the table and pulled out my chair.
I loved a man with manners. I smiled again as he took his seat across from me, trying not to let too much of my excitement show. This guy was already checking off a lot of boxes. Attractive. Polite. He was a firefighter, and that was just plain hot.
“It’s nice to finally meet you in person,” I said.
“You too.” He took a deep breath and raked his fingers through his thick hair. “Sorry, I’m a little nervous.”
Nervous? How about adorable? “Aw, don’t be. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”
The waitress came, and we ordered coffees. He ran his fingers through his hair again. I couldn’t possibly be making him nervous, could I? It wasn’t like I was Nora. Her aggressiveness made men nervous all the time. She said it weeded out the weak. But I wasn’t a self-proclaimed man-eater. I was just a girl looking for my happily ever after.
“So how long have you been a firefighter?” I asked.
“Ten years,” he said. “It’s been my dream since I was a kid. I think my mom still has pictures of me wearing the plastic hat I got when my preschool class visited the local fire station.”
Oh my god, could he be any cuter? “That’s so adorable.”
“Thanks. What about you? What do you do?”
“I’m an executive assistant,” I said, purposefully keeping the details vague. My boss was well-known in Seattle. Dropping his name too soon tended to turn men off.
We engaged in a little more small-talk while we waited for our coffee. It was surprisingly comfortable. By the time the waitress brought our orders, we were both smiling.
“I like your sweater,” he said. “That’s a nice color.”
I plucked at it. “Oh, thank you. One of my best friends helped me pick it out. I usually wear a lot of yellow.”
A wave of emotion passed across his face, but it was gone before I could tell what it had been. “Yellow would look good on you.”
“Thanks.”
He sipped his coffee. “Do you ever wear your hair up?”
I blinked. That was an odd question. “Sure, sometimes. Why?”
“Just wondering.”
“Do you have strong opinions about women’s hair?”
He shrugged. “I just think it would look good if it was up. Show off your neck and shoulders.”
Okay, maybe not so odd. I pulled my hair up and held it, then tilted my chin to the side so he could see.
“Oh yeah,” he said, his gaze turning heated. “That’s perfect.”
Wow. I felt my cheeks flush. His shift from nervous to mildly aggressive was making me a little tingly.
“I guess… maybe next time I’ll wear it up.”
He fished in his pocket for a second and produced a hair tie. “Maybe you could do it now.”
“You want me to put my hair up now?”
He grinned. “Sure. Do you mind?”
I took the hair tie. It was a strange request, but maybe he had a thing for necks and shoulders. I’d let him nibble on my neck a little. Why not?
“Okay. I’ll be right back.” I went to the bathroom and tried to produce a decent messy bun with no bobby pi
ns or hairspray. And let me tell you, that’s not as easy as it sounds.
When I came back, Zack looked me up and down. “Yeah, that’s almost perfect.”
Almost? “Um, it’s kind of hard to do my hair in a public restroom.”
“No, no, you look great. Thanks for indulging me.” He stood, pulling out his phone. “Can we take a quick selfie?”
“Um.” I hesitated, but he flashed me that sexy grin. “Okay.”
He put an arm around me and held out his phone. I smiled as he hit the button. We did look awfully cute together. Then he leaned in and planted a kiss on my cheek while he took another. I gasped and caught a glimpse of the picture. My eyes were wide, my lips parted in surprise. Even that one was rather adorable.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Sure.” I took my seat while he typed something, then set his phone down.
Had he sent the selfie of us to someone? I wasn’t sure what was going on. No matter how sexy Zack was, this was taking a turn for the weird.
“Did you send that to someone?”
“Oh, um…” He chewed his lower lip, that endearing nervousness making a reappearance. “Yeah, I kind of did. You look so pretty, I was showing you off.”
I touched the stray hairs on the back of my neck, feeling flushed again. Showing me off? “Oh, that’s… sweet.”
“You’re sweet.” He pushed his coffee away. “Look, I’m new to dating again, so I’m sorry if I’m doing things wrong.”
“Not at all. You’re fine.”
“Thanks. So… should we go to my place? Or yours?”
My spine straightened. “What?”
“I just moved into a new apartment. It’s in walking distance. But if your place would be more comfortable, that’s fine too.”
Had I just entered an alternate reality, or had my adorably nervous, very hot firefighter just asked me back to his place to hook up?
“Um, that’s… a little sudden. I thought we’d have coffee, then make dinner plans or something.”
“Oh,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Sorry, I thought coffee was just a warm-up.”
I was admittedly attracted to him, and I wasn’t judgy about first-date sex. But I wasn’t looking for a guy who was just a hook-up, either.
What would Nora do? That was obvious. She’d take him back to her place and enjoy the hell out of that insane body of his. But that wasn’t really my style. What about Hazel? She was no help either. She usually ended up arguing with her dates about the scientific method.
“This is just… a little faster than I was thinking,” I said. “I thought we were both looking for… a little more.”
“Of course I am,” he said, flashing me that grin. “I’m sorry, I’m really out of practice. I just feel like the chemistry between us is off the charts. Are you feeling that too, or is it just me?”
I was feeling… something. “I—”
“Oh my god, Zack, are you kidding me with this?”
I looked over to find a woman standing next to our table. She wore a fluttery yellow shirt with jeans and open toed heels. Her hands were on her hips, her blond hair in an expertly done messy bun. She looked a lot like…
That was weird. She looked like me.
“Danielle, what are you doing here?” Zack asked.
Danielle rolled her eyes, her hands still on her hips. “You texted me. Again.”
“Did I? I must have hit the wrong button. You didn’t have to come all the way over here.”
“Are you for real? You know I work next door. And I don’t believe for a second you sent me that text by accident.”
I cleared my throat, feeling enormously uncomfortable. Was this his ex? He’d picked this café, and she worked right next door? Had he sent her the selfie? Oh god.
“Look, I’m trying to have a nice coffee date with my girlfriend. I don’t appreciate the interruption.”
Did he just say ‘girlfriend’? “Um—”
Danielle snorted. “Right, I’m sure you two have had time to get very serious since I dumped you three weeks ago.”
My eyes widened.
“I’m moving on, Danielle. You should think about doing the same.”
“Moving on? She looks just like me.”
He stood and offered me his hand. “Sorry about this, Everly. Let’s just go back to my place.”
“Zack, you can bang every blond chick in Seattle for all I care. But stop texting me pictures of you with women who look like me. It’s fucking creepy.”
I stared at his outstretched hand for a second, then gathered up my handbag. “Um, I think I should let you two deal with… whatever it is you’re dealing with.”
“Everly, don’t,” he said. “She’s crazy, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
“Oh, I’m the crazy one?” Danielle asked. “I’m not the one who keeps trying to hook up with his ex’s lookalikes and sending her pictures as evidence.”
I stood so abruptly, I slammed my knee against the table. Both coffees spilled, sloshing hot liquid all over. “Ouch!”
“It figures you’d think this is about you,” Zack said.
“You texted me a selfie with her!”
I rubbed my knee, looking back and forth between the two of them. I needed to get out of here. “I’m just going to…”
Neither of them seemed to notice me. As quickly as I could, I dug a five out of my wallet and tossed it on the table to cover my coffee. They were still arguing—something about whether I looked enough like Danielle to qualify as her doppelganger.
Leaving the bickering couple behind, I limped out the door…
“He picked you because you looked like his ex?” Nora asked, her eyebrows lifted.
I nodded. “Yep.”
“People generally have physical characteristics they prefer,” Hazel said with a slight shrug.
“Having a type is not the same as trying to hook up with ex-lookalikes,” Nora said. “And he sent her the selfie? Everly, if I didn’t know you, I’d wonder if you made that up.”
“Unfortunately, no.” My shoulders slumped. “Why am I cursed? I must have done something terrible in a past life. Although I don’t know if I believe in past lives.”
“It’s just a run of bad luck,” Nora said. “I’m positive it’s going to turn around for you soon.”
I sighed, running the tip of my finger along the rim of my martini glass. “I hope so. How many frogs does a girl have to kiss before she finally finds her prince?”
Nora took a sip of her drink. “Well, there’s half your problem right there. You still believe in fairy tales.”
She was right. I did believe in fairy tales. I couldn’t help it if I was an optimist, especially when it came to love.
He was out there. I was sure of it.
Episode 2
My cheeks were still warm from our run as I took a sip of my martini. Yes, we were in a bar right after going for a run. But it was Brody’s, a casual place on Phinney, and we liked stopping here after a good workout.
Besides, what better way to reward ourselves for putting in the miles than a martini?
Nora fluffed her still-nice ponytail. I didn’t understand how she could look so good after a workout, but she always did. “How was your date the other night, Hazel?”
Hazel pushed her glasses up her nose. She had her gray hoodie zipped and her hair in a braid. “It was fine.”
I waited for a few seconds to see if she’d elaborate, but she didn’t. “Fine? That doesn’t sound very good. I thought you liked this guy.”
“I’m hearing a distinct lack of orgasms,” Nora said. “I suspect that’s the reason for her fine.”
“Nora is correct,” Hazel said. “We don’t appear to be physically compatible.”
I drizzled a little strawberry vinaigrette over my spinach salad. “But if you like him enough, maybe you can figure out the physical stuff.”
Nora arched an eyebrow at me.
“What?”
“There
’s some truth to that,” Hazel said. “But the non-compatibility extends beyond sexual considerations.”
“He’s boring,” Nora said.
Hazel nodded. “Precisely.”
“What about you, Everly?” Nora asked. “You had a date last night. How’d it go?”
“Was it the man who works in your building?” Hazel asked.
“Yep, the hottie in the suit she kept seeing in the lobby,” Nora said.
I let out a long sigh.
“Uh-oh.” Nora set her martini on the table. “What happened? Spill it, sister.”
I took another drink, hoping for some fortification from the crisp bite of gin and vermouth. “Well, he took me to El Gaucho, and I’ve always wanted to eat there…”
Stephen’s hand brushed the small of my back as we walked to our table. I’d been excited when he’d said he had reservations at El Gaucho. It was fancy for a first date, but I’d always wanted to try it. I’d made reservations before, but for my boss, not for myself. Dinner here was on my wish list.
My date was dressed in a charcoal suit that fit his toned body perfectly. Dark blond hair, neatly trimmed and slicked back. Smooth jaw. It was a good look on him.
His cologne, however, was a bit strong. It didn’t smell cheap. Quite the contrary, it had the masculine depth of something designer and expensive. But it lacked the subtlety that made good cologne effective. He’d gone a little overboard, and it tickled my nose every time I got close to him.
We took our seats and I crossed my ankles. I’d chosen a little black dress with a scoop neck and enough fabric that I felt pretty, but not too exposed. My blond hair was up and I was wearing the adorable burgundy heels I’d splurged on recently.
“You look beautiful tonight,” Stephen said, his mouth hooking in a slight smile.
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