by Becker Gray
“Lea, listen to me now. I never will ‘work together’ with you.”
I took off down the hall to find Aurora.
Because I wasn’t giving up. I wasn’t walking away. I was no longer the Phin who could just let things play out. I’d had her love for a glorious time, and I wasn’t giving up on that now. She was going to have to physically remove me from her presence.
And I just hoped that I could convince her to let me stay.
Chapter Seventeen
Aurora
I managed to avoid Phin for two days by hiding behind my security team like a coward, but finally one afternoon, I’d had enough of skulking around in my room, and I had one of my team drive me out to the castle after classes ended.
I didn’t know why I went there. It was stupid really, since it was Phin’s spot, his secret place, but it felt like the only place I could go that made sense, even if that sense was of a very perverse kind.
And that’s how I ended up at the ruins looking out over the forest. The sun warmed the flat rock I was sitting on and the heat seeped through my school uniform. I hadn’t even bothered to change before I came. I hadn’t bothered to see if anyone else would want to come with me.
I loved Sera and Sloane and Tanith, but I knew what they would say if I told them about this weekend. Sloane would be all murder, murder, revenge; Sera would be all about how Hellfire boys are monsters; and Tanith would be there with logical, rational musings. None of which were helpful right now!
Murder would just get me onto the tabloid covers again, and I couldn’t do that to Mum, even if it was her awful arranged marriage plan that had sort of landed me here in the first place.
I already knew that Hellfire boys were monsters, and I didn’t want to hear any reasonable ideas about what might have actually happened between Phin and Lea or if Phin deserved to tell his side. I didn’t need him to tell me his side—I’d seen his side for the last two years, with the girls constantly in his arms. That girl at the Huntington Gala, the mayor’s daughter at the van Doren Christmas party, the incessant rumors of his playboy lifestyle.
And that was just it, wasn’t it? At the end of the day, he existed only for himself. Only for his own desires, his own selfish needs.
A fuckboy, through and through.
My mistake had been in thinking I was a big enough fuckgirl to handle him. Believing him when he said all those pretty-sounding lies.
Phineas Yates, a virgin?! How could you have ever believed that?
I didn’t look up when I heard the footsteps; I already knew who it was.
His shadow stretched over me, and suddenly I was so furious, so full of seething, betrayed anger, that I actually snarled as I got to my feet. How fucking dare he come here? How fucking dare he still look so edible with his wide mouth and those caramel eyes and that perfect jaw?
How fucking dare he?
Except when I opened my mouth to say all that, nothing came out. I’d said it all before, a hundred times. A thousand times. He was a slut, a knobhead, a cheater. He treated people like rubbish, and he only cared about himself.
There was nothing left to say. He’d lied, and now there was a baby involved.
He didn’t speak either, but his features were an expression of dark hunger.
I didn’t know who moved first—or if we planned to strangle each other or kiss each other. But somehow I had my hands curled in his hair, my mouth hot on his, biting and licking like I could punish him with only my mouth, like I could write entire poems and essays of how much I hated him using my kisses alone.
He kissed me back just as hard, with fury and possession, as he backed me toward one of the crumbling walls.
“You said every night,” he said, reaching up my skirt to yank down my knickers. “You said everything.”
He spun me around and I let him, pushing my knickers the rest of the way down my thighs as I heard the purr of his zipper. We were both otherwise still in full school uniform, still otherwise entirely clothed.
“You still owe me everything,” he said viciously. “This changes nothing.”
“Fuck off,” I hissed. God, I was so wet. Wet enough that I could feel it as he kicked my legs apart and stepped between them. A few seconds later, something big and blunt and hot nudged against me. I let out an involuntary moan.
“This is everything,” he grunted as he wedged his way inside of me. “Your cunt is everything. Your body is everything. Your heart and your mind too. You owe it to me, Aurora. You don’t get to run away.”
“Is that what you told her too?” I said, my hands going up to brace on the wall in front of me as he started fucking.
“You already know what I told her,” Phin bit out. “God, Aurora, what do I have to do for you to understand? You’re my fucking world. You’re all I see. All I want. All I fucking crave. All I love.”
“Don’t do that,” I said furiously. “Don’t bring love into your lies. Don’t bring love into this.”
“Too late. I love you. I love you, and you hate me, and maybe that’s just how our fairy tale goes, princess. But I’ll tell you how it doesn’t go. With us apart, with nothing instead of everything. Now hold still for me.”
“Fuck you.” But my words were belied by the gasp I made as he found my clit with his hand and began kneading it as he screwed me, the perfect circular kneads that drove me crazy every fucking time. Like always, I couldn’t tell who was using whom right now, and it only made me want to use him harder, to use his cock to drive away the ache and then send him packing.
I met him thrust for thrust, pushing back into him, making him hit that perfect spot every single time. My school tie was bouncing with every vigorous stroke, my skirt was bunched up around my hips, and my Mary Jane shoes kept slipping on the rocky ground as I fought for traction. The orgasm that built up inside me was just as mean as the guy behind me, mean and sharp and undeniable, and of course it would be this way. Of course.
Brutal, delicious, secret.
Just like the love I’d carried for him inside my heart before he’d doused it once again.
When I came, my hands scrabbled at the walls and my knees buckled, and it was only Phin grabbing me by the hips that kept me upright. He didn’t miss a beat though, still stroking into me with that thick erection, still chasing his own satisfaction.
It came soon after mine, with big, swelling pumps that I could feel in my cunt, and I wondered if this would be our new normal. Using each other for revenge sex instead of other people. Venting our anger and our hurt with merciless pleasure wreaked on each other’s bodies.
He pulled out and I spun around, feeling a wild mix of anger and arousal.
“Fucking doesn’t change what I said earlier,” I told him, righting my clothes and then glaring at him. “You can fuck me all you want, but it won’t change how I feel.”
“I’m glad to hear the first part of that sentence,” Phin growled. “Because I do plan on fucking you all I want.”
“You know I’m always happy to use you for what you’re good for,” I said cruelly, knowing it would hurt him.
And it did. I could see the flash of pain in his eyes before he looked down to the ground. Immediate regret followed my barbed words, and I stepped forward. “Wait, Phin, no, I shouldn’t have—”
“I know that’s what people think I’m good for,” he said. “Making them feel good. Either with sex stuff or just by charming them or making sure they’re having fun. I know for a fact that people don’t think I’m good for honesty or loyalty. Which maybe I deserve.”
“You deserve it because you lied! Because you cheated!”
He shook his head. “We’ve already had this fight. I’ve already told you that I didn’t lie about anything—you were my first. If you don’t believe me, then I can’t change that. But know that I’m not kidding around about everything. I’ll be back to claim it, Aurora. As often as I want.”
“I could tell you no,” I said, glaring at him.
He looked back at me
as he was turning to walk away. “But you won’t,” he predicted, the almost-smirk on his face downright carnivorous. “You need it as much as I do.”
I glared even harder. He was fucking right, goddamn him to hell. I wanted to claw his eyes out, but I wanted to bounce on his cock until I broke a bed frame too.
“And that’s never been our problem, has it?” he asked. “Wanting to fuck.”
“No, I guess not. What has been, then?”
When he answered, his voice was suddenly tired. And sad. “You not trusting me to be something other than an asshole,” he said. And then he left.
Chapter Eighteen
Phin
I’m always happy to use you for what you’re good for.
Aurora’s words crawled through my mind as I sat at my desk, staring at my computer screen. The background was dark, the coding text in bright oranges and greens and blues and yellows. I was vaguely aware that outside the sun had set and the stars had come out. I was vaguely aware that I should go to bed, because there would be classes tomorrow and an entire day of Aurora trying to kill me with her eyes when she couldn’t avoid me.
Fuck. I was pissed. Pissed.
I was tired of not being believed. Of being the person everyone thought was led around by his dick. And okay, so yes, I’d done a lot of that to myself by spreading rumors and practically renting a timeshare on second and third base, but still. I’d thought Aurora had seen past all that.
But now that Lea had basically confirmed all of Aurora’s worst fears about me, I wasn’t so sure. If she thought I was really the kind of guy who would just abandon someone pregnant with my child, maybe she didn’t fucking know me at all.
My phone buzzed on my desk, and I was prepared to ignore it. This late at night, it was probably someone drunk and bored wanting to know if I had anything fun stashed in my room, and I didn’t. Other than a half-empty bottle of gin, my stash had been depleted for a while because no drug was as potent as Aurora Lincoln-Ward.
But it wasn’t one of my jackass friends; it was my dad.
At nearly one in the morning.
I picked it up immediately. “Dad?”
“Phin,” Dad said, sounding tired. He was a warm guy, the kind of person with tons of laugh lines branching out from his eyes and a near-constant smile on his face. “We just heard something concerning from Caroline Constantine.”
Fuck, and now my parents too? Was there anyone who didn’t think I was some sort of philandering asshole? “Dad, look, it’s not like however she made it sound. Lea and I, we didn’t—”
“I know she’s not pregnant with your child, Phin,” Dad said gently.
I stopped short, the computer screen a blur in front of me. “You do?”
“Of course, I do. You’re a good kid, and you’ve always shown up whenever someone’s asked you to. I know if this baby were yours that you would have done right by it and the mother, and I also know that you would have told us.” Dad laughed a little. “Because you can’t keep a secret for shit.”
I snorted. He wasn’t entirely wrong.
“Thanks,” I said, and I meant it sincerely. “For believing in me. The girl I am seeing… she didn’t. It’s like it was easier to believe the worst of me rather than to trust me.”
Dad made a small noise of understanding. “It’s like that for a lot of people, I’m sorry to say,” he said. “And there’s a good reason for it. If we believe the worst instead of the best, then it means we can’t be let down anymore. We can’t be hurt. Maybe this girl is scared of being hurt again.”
I blinked down at my desk, thinking about that. Aurora was so fierce, so vibrant—she took what she wanted and stomped all over the rest with her punk-looking boots and she never looked back.
But of course I’d hurt her. Of course other people had hurt her.
Maybe when she lashed out—when she did everything she could to push me away—it was more about her than me. Maybe she used that kiss-em-or-kill-em attitude to hide the raw vulnerability underneath.
“At any rate,” Dad continued, “the other reason I know it’s not your child is the same reason Caroline Constantine called me. Apparently, Lea got herself mixed up with someone in Caroline’s circle and was trying to dodge the fallout by claiming the baby was yours instead of the son of her friend. Caroline called me to apologize for the inconvenience.”
It certainly had been fucking inconvenient, but as much as I was irritated at Lea for lying, I didn’t want her to be on the wrong side of Keaton’s mother. She was one of those people who looked like they’d just stepped from the pages of a New England society magazine—cool, elegant, lovely—but rumor had it that she was made of shark teeth and stolen tears on the inside.
“Keaton’s mom isn’t going to, like, have Lea whacked or something, is she?” I asked, worried.
My dad gave a long laugh at that. “No, no, nothing like that. Caroline doesn’t like scandal, that’s all. She’s hoping that she can find a quiet solution—and no, that’s not a synonym for murder—which will keep everyone’s public image spic and span.”
“Okay,” I said, somewhat reassured, but still. I knew the Constantines were more Kennedy than capo, but I also knew that Caroline didn’t keep her Irish attack dog, Ronan, around because he was good at knitting potholders.
“Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that the situation is being handled. And not in a Cosa Nostra way, okay? In a normal let’s-not-cause-a-scandal way.”
“Okay,” I said reluctantly.
“And this young lady of yours? Maybe give her a little grace. It’s easy to believe that we’re worth cheating on or lying to. It’s harder to believe that we’re worth changing for. Maybe that’s what she needs to hear and see. Not the facts of what actually happened, but the truth that she’s worth everything. Even patience. Even risking your heart.”
I swallowed. “That’s very wise for a man who spends most of his free time reading books about old ships.”
“Thanks,” he said dryly.
“Goodnight, Dad. Tell Mom hi for me.”
“I will. Goodnight, son.”
I set down the phone, and for a moment, I considered picking it up again to call Aurora with this late-night epiphany. But then I remembered what Dad said.
She’s worth everything.
Patience.
Risking your heart.
Everything was what I’d made her promise to me, right? So maybe it was time I showed her I was willing to give her everything back.
But how?
* * *
The next day was much like I’d imagined, except for one part. As I was walking down the hall, blinded by a jaw-cracking yawn, a hand fisted into my uniform blazer and dragged me into an empty classroom. I stopped yawning to see Aurora glaring at me.
“Shut up,” she said, hands yanking at my fly.
“I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“You were about to.”
“I was yawning!”
“Then get more sleep,” she muttered, pulling my zipper down and freeing my already stiffening cock. I didn’t argue with her, because I didn’t want to accidentally reveal the reason I hadn’t gone to bed until almost dawn.
Not until it was ready.
I groaned as she hopped onto a nearby desk and spread her legs, pushing her skirt up to her hips and hooking her black panties to the side. There was a flash of gold curls and wet pink, and then I was a goner. My cock instantly turned to ridged, veiny stone.
“I thought you hated me,” I said, stepping up to her.
“I do,” she said hotly, batting my hands away because I was taking too long. “I hate you so fucking much. You’re a liar and a fuckboy. Come here.”
She grabbed me by the open fly of my pants and dragged me close, her booted foot coming behind my ass to herd me closer.
“You want me to fuck you, princess?” I asked, looking down at her flushed cheeks and to where her nipples pressed against her white button-up shirt. “You want me to make you
feel better?”
“Shut up,” she said again, but it rather lost its bite as she was pulling me shamelessly closer and closer, until I was able to graze my wide tip over her folds.
She shivered as I took my time teasing her, sliding in a little and then pulling free, rubbing my crown on her swollen little clit until she gasped. “Hurry,” she mumbled. “Hurry before I change my mind.”
“Face it, Aurora,” I grunted as I plunged in with a single rough stroke. “You’ll never change your mind. You want it from me too much. You want me to fuck you dirty. You want it a little wrong. Otherwise you wouldn’t be in an empty classroom riding my dick with your skirt up by your hips.”
“You’re an unmitigated fucktrumpet,” she breathed, her eyelids fluttering closed as I began working my way in and out of her tight pussy. She kept her fingers curled tight around the lapels of my blazer, holding me close.
“Am I supposed to know what that means?”
She didn’t answer, her breathing getting faster and faster and her cheeks getting pinker and pinker as I moved faster, making sure that the rough pump of my cock was mirrored by my thumb kneading her clit. Maybe I’d only done this a few times, but my career as a serial second-baser had taught me a few things. Namely, how to make sure a girl came.
“There you go,” I said, not bothering to hide the victory in my voice as she tightened her thighs around my hips and dropped her head all the way back.
I was going to have everything. Not just the furtive sex, but everything else I wanted too, her heart and her future. And maybe I was going to get it another way, but fuck if I wasn’t going to enjoy the hate-sex while the getting was good.
With a sharp cry, her body went taut. I didn’t stop fucking though, didn’t stop rolling my thumb over her clit, because I was so close to coming too, my thighs and belly tensed and ready, and I needed to unload inside her and—
She opened her eyes, and with an evil look, pushed me back far enough that I slid free of her body. My cock bobbed, dusky-red and angry in the cool air, jutting obscenely from the front of my uniform pants, feeling so tight and full, and fuck, I was still so fucking close. I needed to keep fucking. I needed back inside her wet cunt before I died.
