by Kitty Cox
"Ok, so we have a graphical advantage, but what are the gamers wanting?"
Dez shoved a fry into her mouth and talked around it. "Silk. Amy's been amazing. Anyone willing to stop long enough gets to hear all about how Deviant is going to change the gaming industry and blah, blah, blah." She punctuated her words with a wave of another ketchup coated fry.
"She fits. I'm glad we found her."
"You didn't 'find' her. You were trying to fuck her."
"Nope." He cut into his steak and took a bite, forcing Dez to wait. "I was trying to talk to her. Kinda wanted to protect her. Didn't really want to fuck her."
Naturally, his girl wasn't going to let him off that easy. "Why not? You never explained that."
Chance dropped the fork back onto his plate and leaned onto his elbows. "I don't know, Dez. Honest to god truth. I have no idea. All I know is that I like this. Whatever this is."
"Even if I freak out?"
"Yeah. Even if you decide to start getting high again, or whatever screwed up thing happens. I don't care. What about you?"
Her head jerked up in shock. "Huh?"
"Why are you doing this thing with me? I mean, when we met, you were trying to get high enough to stop living, and now you're braving the masses for my game?"
Her big brown eyes grew soft, and her face went slack. For a long time, Dez was silent, but her eyes stayed locked on his. If he had to guess, she was either trying to figure it out herself, or she was trying to decide if he even deserved to know. Chance hoped it was the first.
"A long time ago," she said, "this guy sent a message to a girl's blog. He was smart and charming, maybe even kinda witty. Somewhere in there, he called her Dez-tiny. It was just a stupid typo, but she noticed and giggled about how she was neither Dez nor tiny."
"I hoped you wouldn't see that. I had to stop myself from sending a second message to apologize."
Her teeth caught her lower lip, but she kept going. "When I finally got out of the hospital – you know, from everything – I realized that was my last happy thought. I mean, good things had happened, and a lot of boring shit, but I hadn't really giggled to myself since then. I also kinda realized that being starved for over two weeks had left me tiny, which meant half of it was true, so I decided to make it who I am."
"Not really sure that's a good thing, kid."
She shrugged and looked down at her plate. "They wanted Destiny. No one cared about Dez but the guy who'd dared to listen. I wanted to be that person, not the one who..." She cleared her throat. "And now here I am. I'm Dez, and making the game that started it all."
"Why?" he asked again. "Why are you willing to do all of this for me?"
"I'm not. I'm doing this for me."
"Exactly." On a whim, he stretched his arm across the table and laid it palm up. The invitation was clear. "You’re doing all of this for you, and I'm not doing all of them for me."
She took it, even though her touch was feather light. "If we keep this up, we might end up normal."
"Leaders of the opposition," he agreed with a laugh. "And if that ever happens, we'll just make another game that's even better than the first two."
Dez slowly moved the pads of her fingers across the wrinkles in his palm. "Chance?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"I liked it. I mean until I got scared."
"Me too."
She took a breath and held it. When it came out, her words tumbled with it. "I want to try again."
He didn't even try to hide his smile. "After you eat. Get you fat and happy, convince you to climb into the shower naked with me, then we'll either smoke a bowl or drink a bottle of whiskey. And when you're ready to pass out, I'll let you have your way with me, but on one condition?"
She huffed out an embarrassed giggle. "Ok?"
"You ignore it when I get a hard-on."
"Maybe."
He grabbed a fry off his plate and tossed it at her. "If you don't, I'll make a mess in the damned bed!"
"That's what the shower's for!"
He jerked his hand back, making her jump, and grabbed his fork. "Then eat faster, because my fuckin' balls are blue." Then he took a massive bite.
When Dez matched him, he knew they'd be ok. He just had to be patient, but all good things were worth waiting for. That one sweet taste of her mouth certainly had been. If he got another? Chance hid his smile with a drink of soda. If that girl kissed him, he would be hers forever.
Hell, he already was. She saw him. She was the one person who always saw him, and he was going to make sure she didn't forget it.
Chapter 24
She pushed the last half of her meal across the table. Like normal, Chance took it, finishing what she couldn't eat, and Dez leaned back to watch. In the pit of her stomach, she was still nervous, but he didn't make her feel like she had to hide it. He honestly didn't seem upset that she'd freaked out. Then again, this was Chance.
And they were really here, at F5. He didn't seem to understand what she'd been trying to tell him earlier – or he had and was ignoring it. Either was likely. The important thing was that they had a real shot at getting Most Anticipated Game. That would make it easier to get Game of the Year next time. It also meant sales would pay off enough to keep the company going and turn Flawed into a reality.
Dez pushed away from the table. If this happened, then all of her childhood dreams would be a reality. She'd be a part of developing the game she'd always wanted and seeing it succeed. Halfway to the bed, another realization hit her.
It meant those bastards who'd kidnapped her hadn't won.
They'd tried to scare her away from gaming, but she couldn't stop. They'd tried to break her, but she'd healed. She'd healed, damn it, and she wouldn't let what they'd done to her make her miserable. Casting a look over her shoulder, she watched Chance's arms flex as he stacked the plates out of the way. His scarlet hair fell against one temple, reaching for his cheek. His soft mouth was curled in a slight smile. The man of her dreams was right there, and he could be all hers if she could just stop running away.
She pulled her shirt over her head without looking away. Chance glanced up. His eyes started at her waist and slowly moved higher, like the most gentle caress, until they met her eyes. Then he smiled. When Dez stepped back, heading to the shower, he pulled himself out of his chair, drawn like a dog on a leash.
"Gonna share?" he asked.
She just nodded, her hands working the button on her jeans. "Think they have unlimited hot water?"
He yanked his shirt off, dropping it casually on the floor as he followed. "Probably."
Tall and lean, he was nothing but sculpted muscle. Even relaxed, she could see the definition. The line of fire beneath his belly button drew her eye. Everything about him was beautiful. Long ago, she'd dreamed of meeting a man like him, and now she had him. The look on his face was tender, but passion burned in his eyes. It flared when she let her bra slide off, proving his patience wasn't due to a lack of desire. He wanted her. Not just sex. Not to abuse her. This ivory and crimson Adonis honestly wanted all of her, and Dez wanted nothing more than to give it. She wouldn't let her past win.
"Chance..." she breathed, sliding off the last of her clothes as she stepped into the bathroom.
He followed. "I'm not going to touch you, Dez."
"I want you to."
Her words hung between them and time stood still. For too long, Chance's only response was to breathe. She watched his chest rise and fall. Over and over, he tried to suck in air, his mouth opening just to close before he found any words. Then he stepped around her to turn on the shower.
"I can't." His back was to her, but she heard him. He said nothing else until the water began to fall, then he stood up and looked right at her. "Dez, I can't just touch you. I want to grab you, hold you, and keep going. I can't just touch you. We already proved that." He smiled and unbuttoned his pants. "But I'm not going to stop you from touching me."
Denim fell to the floor, revealing the glory of him. Sh
e caught her lip in her teeth and looked. Gilded with copper, the line from his belly kept going, but it was short, little more than a tease. Chance kicked his ankles free and stepped back, right under the water, then crooked a finger, daring her to join him.
"It's warm," he said. "And bright."
"I don't know how."
He chuckled, but it didn't sound cruel. "It's just a shower, Dez."
"Doesn't look like it." Her eyes dropped to his very hard dick.
The bastard grabbed it, sliding his hand up its length. "You think I don't do this in the shower? Usually thinking about some hot little tattooed girl standing there watching?"
Her heart was beating faster. "Can I?"
"What?" He looked up through his crimson lashes.
She stepped in, forcing him away from the water to take it herself. "Touch it."
"Yep." His back hit the wall, but his hand didn't leave. Slowly, he stroked the length. Like always, he'd just taken control.
She let the water soak her short hair and wash off the chill of their room, then wiped it from her eyes. "I still don't know how."
"Promise you don't need to. You really want to do this, Dez?"
She did. She was nervous as hell, but she wanted to stop being scared of everything. She wanted to touch him and kiss him and remember what it felt like to be normal. Most of all, she wanted it to be him.
His next words were soft, but something about his voice had changed. The flippant attitude was gone, leaving only need. "Hold out your hand. Palm up."
When she did, he reached over and grabbed a bottle of shampoo. His thumb flicked the lid open. He turned it, pouring a dollop into her palm. Calmly, as if he did this every day, he set it back, then beckoned her closer with one finger.
"I'm not going to touch you," he said softly. "But I need a little soap. Just rub that on for me?"
"Like..." She looked at his dick. "Just grab it?"
"Slide your palm over it and smear that on." He slowly moved both hands to the walls.
Standing like that, he was all hers. Dez took one more step toward him, clenching her fist to smear the shampoo across her hand. Then she reached out. Her instincts made her want to close her eyes. Her desires prevented it. Looking out from heavy lids, she touched him. The skin was soft, like satin, and so smooth, but her hand was opposite of how he'd done it. She wanted to get this right. She was so tired of being the freak who couldn't even touch him, but she had no fucking idea how to make him like it. She was going to try, though.
Her palm slid over the underside until the tips of her fingers touched his balls. He twitched and she jerked away, sucking in a breath. "Sorry!"
"You're not gonna break it." He sounded amused. "Just feels real good. Kinda hard to stay still when you do that."
"Really?"
"Really."
So she tried again. This time, she reached for his balls, letting her hand feel the thin skin and close-cropped hair. As her fingers swirled under them, he leaned his head back and tried to hold in a moan. That's what she wanted. Next, she moved higher, using the heel of her hand to caress his shaft. When it bobbed at her touch, she wrapped her fingers around it.
"What do I do?" she asked softly.
"Don't let go. Just hold onto me, and don't let go." She looked up to find his eyes on her face. "The more you move your hand, the more I want to join in, and I'm not going to scare you off again."
"I'm not scared." Trapped in his gaze, her words were barely a whisper. "I want to do this, but I don't know how." She felt him throb, so she held tighter. "Tell me what to do?"
He smiled. "Come closer and watch." He waited until she removed her hand, then replaced it with his own. "Right here." His index finger pressed just under the head. "That's where it feels so good." Then he squeezed and stroked himself. "It won't break, Sugar. Hard and slow, soft and fast, they both feel good." His hand slid back up and he pumped the tip twice. "You want this back? Or you gonna watch me blow a load here in the shower?"
"Both."
On impulse, she stepped to his side and grabbed him, wrapping her fingers right over his. She felt him tense but guided his hand lower, following as he moved back up. At the top, his grip tightened, teasing the spot he liked. Together, they stroked him again, then he slid his hand away.
"Your turn," he whispered.
It was getting hot. Steam made the air thick and she heard him breathing hard. His dick was slick with soap and shampoo. It glided through her hand, swelling and pounding at her touch, driving her on. She stroked him. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, she lost herself in the feeling of his silky skin under hers. Each time he groaned, she knew she had it right, so wouldn't stop. She wanted to do this. For the first time in her life, she wasn't scared of what came next. She just wanted to make Chance feel as good as he needed.
Then she looked up. Leaning there, his head was back and his lips hung parted, but his hands were pressed hard on the walls. Each stroke of his dick made the fire god writhe, even if he was trying so hard not to. When she played with that special spot, he groaned, so she swiped her thumb across the broad tip and stepped even closer. Her damp skin was next to his. If he so much as breathed too hard, their chests would touch, but she trusted him. Dez pumped the length of him again and leaned in.
Her lips were dry with nerves, but his weren't. Moisture glistened on them before she pressed her mouth to his. It was the lightest touch, barely a kiss, but she refused to let her hand stop even as her lips froze. Cold air rushed in when he gasped and she followed, knowing the steps that came next. The tip of her tongue teased his until it pressed back. In her fist, he thrust, driving into her hand, and Chance pulled his face away.
"Don't stop," she whispered. "I'm not scared."
His eyes flicked down, and his hips moved again. Back and forth, he took control, fucking her hand slowly and she liked it. She wanted this. She wanted to be his. Feeling brave, she reached for his mouth once more.
This time, the kiss wasn't timid. When her tongue pressed, he sucked at it, tangling it with his. The heaving of his body made it a dance, and she was learning quickly. Her free hand grabbed the back of his neck, her other twisting slightly as she shoved toward his balls. There was no need to be timid. She had no fear of what came next. She was doing this, and it felt so good. So fucking good.
Her body pressed him into the side of the shower as her breath came faster, but it wasn't fear making her pant. It was desire. Her hand made him weak in the knees. Her fingers on his neck held his mouth to hers. She had him trapped, completely under her control. For the first time in her life, Dez felt powerful. He was hers. She was his, and that was something she'd never expected to feel. The hard dick in her hand proved she was sexy. His moans proved she was beautiful. The way he gave himself to her made her brave.
This was why he liked it so much. It was all about give and take. He couldn't do this alone, and she needed him. She needed him to like this as much as she needed to prove she could really do it. He was the one man she'd dreamed of touching, and now she finally was. Dez relaxed, feeling her breasts crushed against his body as she leaned into him. The next time he filled her hand, she couldn't stop the moan.
Then he flexed, turning stiff beneath her. His deep growl rumbled against her mouth a second before his dick pulsed in her fingers and warmth shot down her thigh. Dez froze, leaning back to find him smiling.
"Sorry." He looked down with a chuckle and wiped the mist away from one eye. "I couldn't hold off."
With an awkward giggle, she retreated, moving under the falling water. She wasn't quite up to cuddling, so she wanted to lighten the mood. "That's one thing off my bucket list, I suppose."
"Oh? Giving a hand job was on your bucket list?" He shifted behind her, close enough to use the water but not quite touching.
She looked back to prove it was ok. "Nope."
"The kiss?"
She waffled her head. "That too, I suppose."
"Tease," he growled, scrubbing at his own body.
Ignoring him, she began to lather shampoo into her hair, using enough that the suds rolled down her back. If she couldn't get physically closer, maybe letting him in would work. She wanted him to know how much this mattered, and it wasn't like she could make more of a fool of herself, right?
"I always wanted to make Chance Hunter cum." Then she tilted her head and rinsed herself clean so she couldn't see his expression. "Ever since he was on TGC and I sent a text to my best friend about how hot he was, I fantasized about getting him in bed and what he'd do to me."
He didn't answer. She turned, washing the last side, then stepped back so he could have the water, but Chance didn't move.
"This is hard, Dez."
That sounded too serious. She tilted her head to his crotch. "No, that was hard. Thought we took care of it."
He huffed a laugh and almost smiled but shook his head. "Listen to me for a second, Sugar. This. Me and you. It's hard as hell, and it's not going to get easier. I'm gonna screw things up like I did earlier, and you're going to want to run away screaming. You know that, right?"
"Yeah."
He nodded, then claimed the water, washing the last of his own soap away. "Good, because I've never wanted anything in my life as much as I want this. Not even Silk." Then he pushed at the knob, turning the whole thing off. "But that doesn't mean you have to do this. I want you. I want to kiss you, touch you, and yeah, I want to fuck you until you scream my name, but that's not you. I want the girl who puts more ink over her deepest fears and dares anyone to tell her she's wrong. I want the woman whose best friend is a network she created out of hopes and dreams." He took a step closer. "Every night, for the rest of our lives, I will sleep on the sofa if it means you'll share a cup of coffee with me, because I want all of you, even the bad parts."
"Chance?" His wet chest was only inches away, and he leaned over her. It wouldn't take much for him to pin her against the wall.
His eyes found hers, but he wouldn't back off. "Yeah, Sugar?"
