by Alice Wilde
Tears sting my eyes as I realize I’m going to have to tell Roan. I wouldn’t blame him if he never looks at me the same way again.
And with that thought burning in my mind, I cry myself quietly to sleep.
Nineteen
Ero
Damn it.
This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I’d let her into my heart and then I’d gone and ruined everything. You never let anyone into your heart—there’s nothing but pain and torture. She loves Roan; it’s obvious from the way she’s acting. I shouldn’t have gotten between them, and I shouldn’t have said what I did to her about other women.
If I had been honest, I’d have told her that what I experienced tonight was unlike anything I’d done before. No one I’d ever been with could compare, and I hadn’t even taken her. I’m not supposed to feel anything for anyone, let alone a woman, but it seems that the closer I get to Annalise, the more I want her, and the less anyone or anything else matters. Even my own resolve. Even the idea of hurting her sends a dagger through my heart.
I hate myself for hurting her. Hate myself for not telling her the truth. And most of all, I hate Roan. I hate his hold on her, the way he cares for her in a way that I never could. I hate him for opening his heart to her. I hate him for loving her.
After everything I’ve done in my life, I don’t deserve to love or be loved. Idiot. Fool. Bastard.
She’s crying, and it’s all my fault. I need to make her hate me so she can forgive herself, even if there’s nothing to forgive.
I need her to hate me.
Damn it.
Twenty
Annalise
I jolt awake as a huge hand clamps down over my mouth.
“Shh,” Ero whispers in my ear.
We lay still in the dim light of the room, listening hard. At first, I hear nothing, and then there’s a light scratching at the door and quiet voices whispering in the hall outside.
“I think the door is barred,” someone says.
“You’re right,” another, deeper voice responds. “We’re going to have to go about this another way. Do any of you recall the scene we walked in on all those years ago?”
“It was a bloodbath,” another man says. “It wouldn’t be hard to make it look like that, but I don’t think anyone would believe it if the door was broken in.”
“What’s happening?” I whisper through Ero’s hand, which is still pressed over my mouth.
“It’s an assassination attempt,” Ero says, dropping his hand from my mouth. “They’re going to try to kill us, or perhaps just you. If I understand them correctly, I think they’re going to try to make it look like another instance of what happened when my family was murdered to prove I’m cursed and a madman.”
“How could they do such a thing?”
“You of all people should know what lengths people will go to get what they want,” Ero says through gritted teeth.
His wording instantly reminds me of the night before, and regret floods through me once again.
“We’re going to have to find a way out of here,” Ero says, not noticing my change in demeanor. Not that I’d expect him to.
“But you already checked the room for another way in or out,” I say.
“I know. I hadn’t thought we would be the ones needing another way out.”
Ero gets up out of the bed and pulls on his shirt and shoes.
“Get dressed.”
I slip out of the bed and pull my dress on as hastily as I can before taking my torn chemise and tossing it into the fire. Almost instantly I realize how big of a mistake that was when the room begins to fill with a thick, dark smoke. I reach to pull out the cloth but as soon as I do it sets a rug on fire and the smoke intensifies.
“Damn it, princess,” Ero chokes out, trying to mute his coughing as best he can. “You’re going to kill us before they even get a chance to try.”
“I didn’t know that would happen!” I whisper sharply back at him. “Wait…”
Ero looks at me curiously as I watch the smoke fill the room.
“Do you see that,” I say, pointing toward the thatching on the roof.
He turns to look in the direction I’m pointing. Even though the room is rapidly filling with the thick smoke, there’s a section of the ceiling that it appears to be flowing toward.
“There might be a hole in the thatching,” Ero coughs. “Let me take a look.”
I watch as Ero pulls a chair over to the corner of the room and steps up on it, pulling himself up into the rafters to take a closer look.
“There’s smoke coming from the room,” one of the voices says in alarm from outside the door. “We don’t have time for a new plan. We need to get in there now before they set the whole place fire.”
“Or we leave them to die in the fire,” another man says.
“Don’t be daft. Didn’t you see what that spirit woman did at the pyre? Bjarke will skin us alive if we let his house burn down. Besides, if they’re not dead from the smoke by now, we’ll just kill them.”
The men almost immediately start pounding away at the door, no longer afraid to wake us.
“Ero,” I say worriedly, looking up at him.
“There’s a small hole in the thatching,” Ero says. “But it’s not big enough for either of us to fit through.”
“Make it bigger,” I say as quietly as I can manage.
“I’m trying, but I need you up there with me. I don’t know how quickly they’ll get through the door, and I may not have time to pull you up.”
“Fine, let’s go!”
“You’re not going to be able to breathe up there,” Ero says. “Get low and take as deep a breath as you can.”
I lower myself to the floor as quickly as I can and do as he says. As soon as I’ve taken as big of a breath as I can manage, Ero scoops me up and over his head, boosting me up onto the rafters before climbing up himself. He quickly makes his way along a beam and over to the hole in the thatching.
Ero tears at the roof, gradually making headway. The door below has begun to buckle and crack as the men outside continue to work on breaking it down, and I can feel my vision starting to go black as the air in my lungs drains from me. I see Ero glance over his shoulder at me anxiously, and then he begins punching through the rooftop as hard as he can. His knuckles quickly grow bloody, but the hole finally gets larger.
Just as the hole is nearly big enough for us to fit through, I collapse from the lack of oxygen, tipping sideways over the rafters.
The fall knocks me back into focus and I breathe in what little oxygen I can, the smoke less thick this low to floor.
I look up through the haze as the door makes a loud crunching sound and then crashes to the floor just a few feet from my head. The men lunge through but are instantly spluttering and stumbling as the smoke catches in their eyes and lungs. My head is starting to throb and my eyes are dry and aching, my vision fading.
One of the men notices me on the floor and shouts, but before he can make his way to me, a roar and blur of white fur fills my vision as a giant leopard drops the man to the ground, tearing into his flesh.
I gasp for air once again as the leopard looks toward me, his green-eyes shining even in the dark room. My eyes close as the leopard bites down on the fabric of my dress, pulling me across the floor and out of the room to fresh air.
“Is she okay?” Ero asks anxiously from somewhere close by.
“She’ll be fine,” says Li, “but I’m going to have to examine her once we have a safe place.”
Ero growls.
“Where are you taking us?”
My stomach drops as I recognize the voice of one of our attackers, and I try to open my eyes, but soon give up on account of the excruciating pain. What does Li mean by fine?
“Shut up! You and Bjarke will pay for this. Mark my words,” Ero snarls.
“As if you have any means to do anything about it,” another one of the attackers says.
I hear the sound of
a fist against flesh and then silence. Ero must have hit one of the men.
“Do you think Roan is okay carrying her like that?” Ero asks. “Why hasn’t he shifted?”
“All in due time,” Li says. “We need to get Annalise a room as quickly as possible. I don’t think she can open her eyes.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ero growls.
Our pace quickens and I suddenly hear the sound of voices echoing as we reach a larger space.
“You, Bjarke!” Ero yells. “Explain yourself!”
The other people in the room grow quiet.
“Who are you to command me?”
“Ero, rightful heir to the throne,” Ero growls. “Now, tell me why you attempted to have me slain in beneath your roof in my own bed?”
“I…I have no idea what you’re talking about. Raving lunatic,” Bjarke says with a callous laugh.
“Your men already betrayed you,” Ero says.
“Idiots. You blasted fools. I told you this was not to be linked to me under any circumstances.”
“We didn’t, my lord,” one of the men says quietly. “I swear we didn’t betray you.”
The people in the room whisper and murmur excitedly amongst themselves as the shock and realization of Bjarke’s confession settles in.
“I think we’ve heard enough,” Ero says in a low, deep voice. “The men and women here have witnessed the traitor’s admission of guilt. Seize him.”
Almost immediately, I hear men move into action, and I’m surprised by how easily Ero has taken control of the room…and the throne from Bjarke.
“As is my birthright, I am claiming my place as lord. If any of you wish to challenge that claim, do so now.”
The room goes quiet as I hear Bjarke and our attackers dragged from the room.
“We live to serve, Lord Ero,” a man’s voice calls from across the room.
“We live to serve!” the room echoes.
“Very well,” Ero says. “There is much to discuss, but first I need to see to my companions.”
The people return to their excited whispers as Ero calls one of the servants over and asks him to show us to a fresh room. Once we’ve arrived, Li takes me in his arms and lays me on a bed.
“Try to rest,” Li says as he presses the back of his hand against my forehead. I hear his receding footsteps as he leaves the room.
I wish I could rest, but even with my eyes closed, they feel like they’re melting. I can’t even cry to help ease the pain. A giant, heavy paw followed by a large furry head startle me as they’re placed on my arm.
Before I can say anything, it’s gone and I hear clinking.
“Here, this should help,” Li says as he carefully spreads a salve over my eyelids. The pain eases almost immediately, and I sigh gratefully as I quickly drift off to sleep.
My eyes are dry and sting as I force myself to open them, but at least I can open them now. I’m lying in a bed, not unlike the one Ero and I had been in before, but it’s in a different room. I’m lying naked beneath the covers, and I carefully ease myself into a sitting position to look around the room and almost pass out again as I realize there’s a giant leopard lying at the bottom of the bed.
“Gods,” I say hoarsely, “you nearly scared the life out of me.”
The leopard raises its head to look at me with emerald eyes. Roan. Guilt rushes over me once again, my stomach knotting.
“Hello, Roan,” I say softly. “I’ve missed you.”
The words sound dirty in my mouth, even though I mean them. There’s no one else in the room besides us, and I wonder why Roan is still in his leopard form and where Li and Ero are.
I cough, my throat painfully dry, and I finally notice a mug filled with water sitting on the table beside the bed.
Grabbing it, I gulp it down. The cool, sweet water tastes like the nectar of the gods and calms the burning in my throat. Setting it down, I lean back in the bed, wondering what I’m supposed to do now. Or even just what had happened. I wish Roan would shift so that we could at least talk.
Perhaps he doesn’t want to talk to me. What if Ero already told him what happened? Maybe that is why Roan hasn’t shifted back into his human form. I’d never forgive Ero if he did.
No, wait. I’m not being rational.
I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. There’s no use getting ahead of myself. I don’t know anything for sure. I’ll wait to hate Ero until I know for sure what is going on.
The water, as refreshing as it was, has left me feeling exhausted again. I close my eyes in the hopes a little more rest will help them soon recover.
“Annalise?”
I wake and sit up, startled that I’d actually fallen asleep. There’s a pain in my neck from the awkward way I’d been laying.
“How are you feeling?”
The voice is familiar, but my brain is still foggy from sleep and the events of the night before. I look up at the man speaking to me and I’m surprised to see Li.
“Li,” I say, smiling. “I’m so glad to see you.”
Li smiles at me. “You nearly suffocated to death, but I think we got to you in time.”
“What happened?” I ask. “And why is Roan still a leopard but you’re not?”
“There’s a lot to discuss,” Li says. “Are you sure you’re up to it right now?”
“Yes.”
“Very well, but first, drink this.”
Li hands me a mug filled with steaming water, and I sip from it. Grimacing, I try to hand it back to him almost immediately, but he refuses to take it.
“Drink,” Li commands. “It’ll help you recover faster.”
I sigh in defeat and sip slowly at the funny tasting water.
“Sometime after Roan and I were locked away in the stables, a group of men came in. They mulled around for a while until we recognized another voice—Bjarke. There was something off about the way they were speaking, and although neither of us could understand exactly what was being said, Ero’s name came up more than a few times. It wasn’t long before Roan and I started to piece together what was happening. From what we could see, the men were heavily armed and very experienced warriors.”
“You overheard them plotting to kill us?”
“Yes,” Li says. “We couldn’t understand any details, but it didn’t matter. All we knew was that we had to get to you as quickly as possible.”
“What took so long?” I ask, hoping I don’t sound angry.
“You may have noticed that Roan is still in his leopard form,” Li says. “It seems we’d exhausted ourselves to the point where our magic and our ability to shift was limited.”
“I didn’t even know that was possible.”
“Neither did we, not until now. Roan still hasn’t been able to shift, but I doubt he’s gotten much rest since the two of you were separated.”
My cheeks flush red, and I look down at my hands. My heart breaks at the thought of Roan worrying over me while I was elsewhere, betraying him.
“And Ero?” I ask quietly.
“He’s off deciding what’s to be done with Bjarke now that his plot to assassinate Ero has been brought out in the open.”
“How did that happen?” I ask in surprise.
“It’s not very complicated. I finally managed to shift out of my leopard form, perhaps because of my healing magic, and figured out a way to get us out of the cage we’d been placed in. I grabbed a pair of stable hand’s pants and then we raced off to warn you. We barely reached you in time. The hired assassins had just managed to break through the door to your room when we arrived. Thankfully, the smoke was so thick, they had a hard time seeing.”
“It was Roan who saved me. Did he kill any of them?” I ask, surprised it hadn’t all been a dream.
“No, just wounded,” Li said. “I have no doubt Roan was angry enough to kill, but he only managed to dig his claws into a few of them before he saw you lying unconscious on the ground and dragged you from the room. The others were easy enough to kn
ock out with Ero’s help.”
“Oh.”
“After what happened between Bjarke and Ero in the Great Hall, it wasn’t long before the whole town was calling for justice—and now Ero’s their Viking lord.
“I didn’t think any of that was real. I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to say,” Li says. “All we can do is wait and let Ero figure out what has to be done here.”
I sip at the hot drink once again before Li takes it from me and places it on the nightstand and I curl up once again to rest.
“Please don’t leave,” I whisper.
“Roan and I will be right here when you wake up,” Li says quietly, placing a hand against my forehead for a moment before sitting down in a chair nearby.
Twenty-One
Annalise
I stretch and yawn, finally feeling rested and mostly recovered. I sit up in bed and look around. Li has dozed off in his chair and Roan is still sleeping at the end of the bed. Someone must have come in at some point while I was sleeping as there is a new set of clothes folded on the bed beside me.
As I go to grab the new clothes, I am surprised to find it’s not a dress. I hold the outfit in my hands, wondering if there’s been some mistake or if these are supposed to be for Li. No, the clothes are far too small to fit any of my companions, and the styling is more feminine. But pants? I’ve never worn pants, and now that I think about it, I’ve never even seen a woman wear pants. Besides the shirt and pants, there are various wrappings, buckles, and leathers that I have no idea how to wear.
The shirt is made of a red silk far more luxurious than I’d ever expected to find here. I pull the shirt over my head, and I’m happy to find it’s long enough to cover my modesty, not that I had much modesty left to worry about. Climbing out of bed, I lay out the other pieces of clothing across the bed to try to figure out what each one is for.
