by Alice Wilde
Maybe this bath wasn’t even meant for me. The tub is far larger than I am used to. I peer out over the edge of the basin. Roan’s back is to me. He’s removed his shirt and is examining the tear.
“What a woman,” he mutters to himself, and I can feel a lump rise in my throat.
So, there was another woman…
Taking as deep of a breath as I can, I close my eyes and submerge myself underwater. Everything seems more peaceful here, until I’m suddenly pulled up out of the water by two large hands.
I splutter as I look up into Roan’s face.
“Oh,” Roan sighs, “it’s you.”
“Who else would it be?”
“For a moment I thought…” Roan starts to say before trailing off. “No one, lass. What are you doing in my bath?”
“I thought it was for me,” I say, trying not to focus on Roan’s lack of an answer.
“Afraid not, lass,” Roan says. “So, you’ll have to either allow me to join you or get out.”
I’m surprised by his offer to have me stay in the bath with him, and I wonder if it has anything to do with the other woman.
“Suit yourself,” Roan says as I make no move to exit the tub. He pulls off his pants before I have time to react and steps into the tub to join me.
As massive as he is, the tub can barely fit the two of us, and we’re left quite squished together, the water spilling over the sides of the basin.
“This isn’t exactly what I’d call a relaxing bath,” I groan.
“This isn’t exactly what I’d call a marriage,” Roan says, cutting me to the quick before quickly trying to take it back. “I’m sorry, lass. That was cruel.”
“You’re not wrong,” I say quietly. “I can’t blame you for feeling that way. Who am I to judge?”
Roan doesn’t say anything in response.
“I am sorry, Roan. I didn’t anticipate any of this.”
“Neither did I.”
“And I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to be with someone else.”
Roan looks up at me sharply.
“What do you mean, lass?”
“I know we can’t escape our marriage,” I say. “But I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to take a different lover after what I’ve done to you. I don’t think it wouldn’t violate your vows to me if I allowed it.”
I can feel Roan watching me quietly.
“Don’t be ridiculous, lass. Just because I’m angry with you don’t mean I want a new lover.”
“No?”
“Of course not. That doesn’t make any sense,” Roan says. “I’m angry because you’re the only one I want to be with, and I hate the idea of sharing you with someone else. Especially when that someone is Ero.”
“So, there isn’t another woman?”
“What makes you ask that?”
“The way your shirt was torn when you returned this evening,” I say in a low voice.
“Oh, that woman,” says Roan. “I met a woman in the woods, and she was more than a little eager, as you can see from my ruined shirt, but nothing happened. I’d never do that to you.”
My eyes burn at his words. How could he still choose to be with me and only me? I didn’t deserve him.
“Lass,” Roan says, lifting my face toward his. “I’ve chosen to be with you, and only you, but I won’t force you to do the same for me. I can’t promise I won’t wish death on Ero every waking moment of my life, but if you are certain you need him in your life to be happy, then so be it. I won’t lose you from my own life because of it.”
Tears spill onto my cheeks and Roan kisses me softly.
Roan and Ero can barely stand the sight of each other or stay in the same room for more than a few minutes at a time, but at least they aren’t tearing each other into pieces. I haven’t seen much of Ero over the past two days since he has been focused on choosing a new jarl.
It’s only toward the end of the series of competitions that I overhear a group of townspeople talking about how the method Ero has chosen to elect a new jarl reminds them of an old Norse legend about Thor and Loki. Leave it to Ero to make a game out of a political process—and to base it off an old children’s story at that.
I spend much of my time resting and trying to get to know more about the local customs and people. Roan still finds things a little difficult between us and has asked for time to adjust. He asked Li to accompany me whenever I venture off on my own in and around the town. With Ero busy in town and Roan needing space, I’ve enjoyed being able to get to know Li a little better. There are few topics he doesn’t know at least a little about, and our conversations are always interesting. As much as he tries to remain aloof and reasonable, Li has a boyish gentleness to him that is charming and leaves me feeling safe in his company—and thankful for someone to confide in.
I hear a loud cheer as Li and I walk back into town.
“Do you think they’ve finally chosen a new jarl?” I ask.
“Let’s hope so,” Li responds. “We’ve already stayed here far too long for my liking.”
We walk into the center of town and, sure enough, it seems the entire village is out to celebrate.
Ero is standing on the platform, holding up the arm of a man in seeming victory.
“Your new lord,” Ero shouts over the din of the crowd, and the cheers grow even louder.
Li and I skirt along the edge of the crowd until we can make our way back up to the Great Hall, where we find Roan waiting for us.
“He’s finally picked a successor,” Li says.
“About time,” Roan says. “We need to start planning our next step.”
“I’ve already been thinking it over, but I need to talk with Ero once he’s got a moment to spare,” Li says.
“Good luck with that.”
Twenty-Seven
Ero
The past few days have been somewhat of a dream come true, despite the obstacles along the way. I’d loved Thor and Loki’s adventure in the giant’s kingdom, and I’d always wished I could have witnessed it myself. Perhaps the idea to use a competition to elect a new jarl was a little far-fetched, but if I had to give up my throne, I was going to have a little fun with it. Besides, it ended up working surprisingly well when it came to finding a good leader…and it kept my mind distracted from thoughts of Annalise.
With the new jarl now chosen, I’m dreading what’s coming next. Not because I’ll have to spend time with Annalise once again, but because I’ll have to find a way to restrain myself even more than before around her. I had hoped that time away would help me separate myself from her, but it’s only made me more frustrated when I’m finally alone with my thoughts at the end of the day.
Li is anxious to set out as soon as possible, and I’ve convinced a fair number of warriors to sail with us. It didn’t take much to convince most of them. They were eager for the opportunity to venture out on the sea once again. I’d sent riders out a few days ago in search of more allies to join us with instructions for those who wished to take back the meaning of what it is to be a true Viking to join me on the western shores of Scotland in a week’s time.
I’d also sent out one rider in particular, but he had yet to return, and I was losing hope that he would with each passing day.
“We can’t waste any more time here,” Li growls. “The new jarl is settling into his role, and we’ve gathered as many warriors and ships as we can. It’s time.”
“One more day,” I argue.
“There’s no reason for us to delay our departure any longer,” Roan says coldly. “Every day we’re here, we put Annalise in greater danger of being found.”
As much as I hate to admit it, Roan’s right.
“Fine, I’ll let the men know that we set sail at dawn,” I concede. I just hope I’ve done enough. Right now, I have no way of knowing how many will join us.
Roan walks out of the room, finally satisfied with my answer.
“How many ships do you think we’ll have?” Li asks.
“We have twenty of our own, and nearly a thousand men. I can’t say for sure which of the other Viking towns will send men our way.”
“It’s better than nothing,” Li says.
My knuckles turn white as I find myself suddenly clutching the edge of the table. Before she even says a word, I can sense Annalise in the room. I force myself to stare intensely at the map, willing myself not to look at her.
“Roan says we’re setting sail in the morning,” she says. “Is it true?”
“Yes,” Li says. “You should try to get some rest, the next few days are going to be grueling.”
I can feel her eyes on me, and I want nothing more than to meet her gaze, but I have to stay strong. I can’t let her in again, for her own good.
The door bangs open and I look up as a man hurries into the room.
“My lord,” the man says with a bow. “I found her.”
I can’t keep myself from looking over at Annalise nervously. I hadn’t expected her to be present during this.
“Did she come?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Bring her in,” I say, straightening myself.
The man scurries from the room and returns a few minutes later, leading a woman and child behind him.
“Astrid,” I hear Annalise gasp quietly.
I clear my throat before addressing Astrid.
“I need to apologize for my behavior, Astrid,” I say. “I had no intention of hurting you or causing you any further burdens in life.”
Astrid snorts and crosses her arms in front of her chest. “Is that all you’ve brought me here for? An apology?”
“No, of course not. I can’t offer you much, but I’d like you to stay here, in my hometown. I can assure you that you and your daughter will be well taken care of for as long as you choose to remain with my people. I will make sure you live the rest of your lives with as little burden as possible.”
Astrid frowns for a moment before nodding her head. “I accept, but I want a dowry set aside for our daughter as well. I won’t have her going through life as I have the past ten years.”
“Done,” I say without hesitating. “Gorm will show you to your new living quarters and fill you in on the details.”
Gorm motions for them to follow him and Astrid and my daughter leave the room. I can’t help but wonder if this will be the last time that I ever see either of them.
Without looking at Li or Annalise, I turn toward my own bedroom, my heart heavy.
Twenty-Eight
Annalise
I’d forgotten what it was like to sail. Or, more accurately, I had blocked it from my memory.
I hadn’t missed it.
Thankfully, the Viking longboats move much faster than the other ships I’ve been on, and these men actually seem to know where they’re going and how to navigate the seas far better than anyone else I’ve ever met.
Roan, Li, and I are sailing in one of the longboats together, but Ero has chosen to sail in another ship, leading the way back to Scotland.
We’ve barely spoken since our night together, and Ero may not want me anymore, but I can’t help but feel further drawn to him the more I see glimpses into the nature of what I believe to be his true character. Roan is obviously much happier with a literal ocean between us and Ero, even if his ship is a stone’s throw away, but I feel as though a part of me is gone.
I drop to my knees, Roan throws himself over me, and I cover my head with my arms as flaming arrows sail over our heads.
“Stay down,” Li roars, motioning for everyone to get down. “Here comes another volley!”
The men duck down in the ship with me except for one, an arrow hitting him between the shoulder blades. I watch in horror as the fire spreads over him.
“Throw him overboard,” Li commands, and one of the men closest to the flaming body shoves him over the side of the boat. I hold my breath, hoping that once he has hit the water, he’ll still be alive, but there’s no sound of a struggle.
“We have to get to shore,” Li shouts. “Stay down and row, men!”
Ero had left some of the most skilled Viking sailors and warriors with us, and I’m thankful he did. Most of them have knowledge of common tongues and can communicate with us, or at least understand Li and his orders.
Even though Li hadn’t been assigned a position over them, there was something about the way he carried himself in battle that made you do as he said. His voice carries well above the noise, and although loud, his words are clear and calm. What he says, you do, or risk losing your life.
The men row toward shore as quickly as possible, and I can see the other ships are following suit. This isn’t what I had imagined returning to Scotland would be like. I’d thought we would return to Roan’s home first, but almost as soon as we had crossed the sea, scouts were sent ahead to find out which of the Scottish clans had been taken over by cruel warlords.
Once our maps were marked, we set out for the first of them almost immediately. Several surrendered almost as soon as they saw us approach, but others had been much like this. With each victory, men joined us, some Scottish and some Viking. Roan and Ero often went ashore, with Li as their mediator, to try to make peace beforehand and reason with the clans and Vikings alike, but most of the larger Viking settlements never went down without a fight. We had lost men and ships along the way, but gained far more than we had anticipated as well. We had more than eighty ships with us now, and nearly four-thousand men following us into battle. Yet we’d barely made it halfway back to Roan’s home and there were still Viking strongholds like this one that tried to attack us. Although, I suppose if a huge number of ships suddenly appeared on the horizon, I’d probably prepare myself for war, too.
I raise my head slightly to look around just as an arrow whistles by my ear. Roan pushes me back down in the boat as soon as he notices. “Stay down, lass,” he growls.
I almost kiss the ground as our longboats finally run aground on the shores of Roan’s homeland. There’s a small army nervously gathering on the beach, but they stand down in relief as soon as they recognize Roan. We are ushered up to the castle almost immediately.
I smile inwardly at the astonished disbelief written all over Fiona’s face as we approach her in the Great Hall.
“Welcome back, brother,” she says. “I hadn’t expected you back so soon.”
“I doubt you ever expected me to come back at all.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Fiona says with a nervous laugh. “I see you’ve brought…others with you.”
“Vikings, yes,” Roan says. “I have as little fondness for them as you do, but they are here to help.”
“What are you planning to do with all these men?” Fiona asks, the meaning clear in her tone.
“Dinna fash, we have no intention of staying longer than we must. The men won’t enter the castle without permission. However, I’d ask that you have a bit of food and fresh water supplied to them while we’re here. Nothing much, only what can be spared.”
“Of course,” Fiona says, feigning a smile. “I’ll have the servants make up your old rooms. How many will be staying in…and around the castle?”
“Thank you. Just Annalise and I will remain in the castle. The other seven thousand will remain outdoors,” Roan says quickly as he takes me by the arm and leads me out of the Great Hall and to our room before Fiona can compose herself enough to speak. “Let’s hope that the other clans arrive on time. I doubt Fiona will have much patience for us as long as Vikings are camped out on our land.”
“Do you doubt they’ll come?” I ask.
“I believe most of them are men of their word, but there’s always the chance they’ll rethink their decision with Vikings involved.”
I walk to the window and look out over the grounds. “Will they be comfortable out there?”
“Vikings are strong warriors. They’ll be fine as long as we don’t stay too long.”
I nod, glad Roan thought I was thinking about the Vikings, and not Li an
d Ero in particular.
The following days are tense as we wait for any of the clans to make their appearance, and I’m beginning to think they’re not going to when I wake to a loud commotion coming from outside the castle.
“Roan,” I say into the dim light of the room, but there’s no answer. I hurry to the window to peer out and see torches coming over a ridge toward us in the distance. I can’t tell who they are in the dim light of early dawn, but the Vikings are already running around camp.
What seems like only a few torches at first turns into a sea of light pouring over the ridge and down toward the castle. Shouts rise throughout the camp, and I start to panic that these are not allies.
I spin around and quickly dress in my Viking clothes. I’d missed wearing pants while they were being cleaned. Wearing dresses over the past few days had been cumbersome, and I’d tripped over my skirts more than a few times. It had been a struggle to resist cutting long slits in the material.
Tucking my dagger into my belt, I pull my hair back and rush from the room down to the Great Hall, hoping I’ll find Roan or someone to let me know what’s happening.
Before I even reach the hall, I can hear voices shouting, and it sounds like Ero and Roan. My stomach twists with anxiety as I enter the hall and see them yelling in each other’s faces as men stand in a group around them.
Roan and Ero turn to look at me as I enter the room and then glare at each other angrily for another moment.
“Fine, then, you tell her,” Roan says, straining to keep his voice calm but still loud enough for me to hear.
Ero’s jaw tightens, and then he takes a breath before walking over to me. My heart skips a beat as he approaches. It’ll be the first time he’s spoken directly to me in ages.
