by Janie Crouch
“Once I remembered more...” Damn it. He didn’t know how to explain this. “Becky was the only woman I’d ever been with, and then being with you... I wanted you, Annie, so damn much. You were a virgin and it caught me off guard.”
“I know. I’m sor—”
He put a finger up to her lips. “Don’t you dare apologize. All I’m trying to say is that it was me I was so angry and upset with that night. In my drunken state, I knew I had to get you out of the room, but it was myself I hated.” He stroked his hands up and down her arms as she tensed. “I said those things to you, but they were really directed at me. I promise. I’m not just saying that now to try to make up for them or erase them—which can never be done anyway. I was drunk and didn’t handle the situation well. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have sober. But—”
She slid to the side, so she could reach up and cover his lips with her finger. “It’s okay. I appreciate what you’re telling me, and I accept it. I even thank you for trying to make me understand it further.” She removed her finger and kissed his chest. “The thing about the now Zac knowing the now Anne is that our nows are a product of those thens. If that night hadn’t happened the way it did, who knows how things might have turned out. Maybe I would’ve never moved away. Maybe you would’ve never moved back. Or maybe we would’ve both lived in Oak Creek for the rest of our lives, but never actually found each other again.”
“Because we’d missed our moment.”
“Yes. Exactly. Because sometimes it’s heartbreak that ties people together. And maybe pain is the tightest bond of all.”
This woman. God, he was the luckiest bastard in the world to have a second chance with her. “I still wish I had never hurt you. I wish I had never driven you from this place you love. Even understanding that it might’ve changed everything, I would go back and fix that night, make you understand what my drunk mind thought it was clearly explaining. I’d make love to you the way you deserved for your first time.”
“We’re here now. That’s enough. More than, actually. We can’t fix the past, but we can start again from here and see where it takes us.”
* * *
Sitting with Zac in this tub, with the Wyoming sky she’d missed so much spread out in all its majesty overhead, and the ridiculous strawberry bubbles floating around them, everything truly felt like it was going to be okay.
She didn’t need his apologies, but she appreciated the heartfelt nature of them.
“I want to keep you in here and protect you from ever being hurt again, Annie. By me or anyone else. Emotionally. Physically.” He trailed wet fingers down her cheek. “In whatever way you need.”
“Being out here, where I can see the stars and smell the air, it’s healing. Being with you helps too.” She didn’t want to talk about the past anymore, or pain. She ran her fingers from his knee to the top of his thigh. He tightened behind her. “I’m not going to let that bastard beat me.”
“Anne.” She ran her fingers toward the inside of his thigh and his voice deepened. “We don’t have to do this tonight. There’s no hurry. Nothing you need to prove.”
“You’re wrong. I do need to prove something. To myself.” But she didn’t want to put pressure on him if he didn’t want to take on that responsibility. She turned further so she could see him. “But if you’re not up for it, I totally understand. I really do.”
One of his perfect eyebrows raised and he gently thrust his hips against her in the water. There was no doubt he was up for it. “Believe me, you naked in this tub? I’ve been up for whatever you want all night. But I want it to be what you want.”
“You are what I want.”
She pulled his mouth down to hers, smiling inwardly as he yielded to her demands. Good. She wanted this.
“Only one rule,” he said against her lips. “Anything makes you nervous, brings back bad memories—you tell me right away. You don’t try to power through anything or worry about me and if I’ll be upset about stopping. I won’t be.”
“Okay.”
He took control of the kiss then but kept it gentle because of the bruising at her mouth. She tilted her head back against one of his arms, so he had access to her throat and breasts. His hand slid up her hip, along her waist to the breast that was popping out of the water.
She moaned as his fingers found her nipple with the firm touch that did so much for her.
“I love the sounds you make when I touch you. It’s so honest. So damn sexy.”
He tugged harder at her nipple as his lips found her neck and nipped there. It was as if he had a direct line to the hottest, most feminine part of her. She moaned again, her head falling further back on his arm.
This. She hadn’t let herself think of Zac much over the past six years because it was too hard. But this was what her fantasies had given her when her subconscious mind had taken over.
Zac. Wanting her. Driving her crazy.
His hand trailed down from her breast to her core, his fingers deftly working the bundle of nerves there. Anne gasped, instinctively closing her thighs together.
“Open your legs as wide as the tub will allow,” he said in her ear before biting the lobe. “Put them on top of mine.”
Her heart fluttered in her chest as she did what he asked. All she knew was she wanted whatever Zac was giving. His fingers slipped inside her, first one, then two. From this angle, he hit the spot that set off detonations up and down her spine. His thumb kept constant pressure on her clit.
“I’m never going to be able smell strawberries again without thinking of you. Of this.” His voice was deep, rough in her ear. His hot breath sexy and wild, not frightening in the least.
Zac bent his knees, raising her legs atop his to rise with them, bringing her hips down a little farther. Her head flew back against his shoulder as he worked his fingers more quickly, more firmly.
Allowing the pleasure to eclipse any lingering pain in her body from the attack was how she won. By giving Zac the control, knowing she was completely safe—mind and body—she beat the hold the attacker had on her.
She started flying apart as his fingers thrust one last time and his thumb gave her the firm pressure she needed. His teeth gently biting her neck ensured her fall.
There was no fear. Just the dizzying pleasure only Zac could provide.
“I’ve expanded my search to all the surrounding counties. Landon Rogers or I have personally called each sheriff of every county in Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah. There have been some rapes reported, but we’ve got no evidence to prove those are the same guy. Just like we can’t be one hundred percent sure the guy who attacked Anne is.”
Sheriff Nelson was sitting at the head of the Linear Tactical conference table. They didn’t use this room a lot, generally only when they were taking dangerous outside cases rather than anything instructional onsite.
Zac was looking through one of the files the sheriff had brought. One of dozens. Finn and Aiden were looking through the others.
“These are all sexual assault cases?”
“Yep. For the past eighteen months,” the sheriff said. “For any surrounding counties. Some can be eliminated outright because the perp was caught, or the circumstances are completely wrong.”
“But some could be our guy,” Aiden finished for him.
The sheriff nodded. “I think this guy has been attacking women for much longer than we’ve known about it.”
“Have there been any reported cases since Annie’s attack?” Finn looked up from a file.
“Not from any of the counties we’re in contact with.”
Zac leaned back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his face. “Annie’s returning to work soon. She hasn’t said anything, but I know it’s coming. As much as I’d like to keep her here on Linear property for...basically ever, I know I can’t.”
He wanted to try. He wanted to keep her here with him where he knew for certain she was safe. But she had to go back to the hospital and the profession so critical to her own identit
y and confidence.
The day after the hot tub, she’d found him sparring with Finn and had climbed into the ring. “I’ve been watching what you do here. You train them to be more than what they are. You make people into warriors. I want you to do that for me. Make me a warrior.”
She was so beautiful, so strong, so determined, he could only answer with the truth. “You already are one.”
Getting Annie in touch with her inner warrior hadn’t been hard. She might be quiet, but she wasn’t weak. She chose to fight for good, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a fighter.
As she’d healed, they’d spent hours training and strengthening muscles that weren’t necessarily important in her daily life, but might be critical in a fight.
He didn’t teach her how to fight fair. If she wanted to learn that later, he’d be glad to teach her. But for now, he taught her how to fight to win. Gouging eyes. Breaking noses. Incapacitating knees.
Some of the moves ran afoul of her physician’s pledge to do no harm. She knew firsthand the damage the moves would inflict. But she’d learned them. He wasn’t surprised to find she was a natural at it. Annie was good at damn near everything she set her mind to.
He’d made love to her every single night since the hot tub—and the morning and any other time he could talk her into it. Or she could talk him into it. He liked the new I’m-going-to-embrace-life-and-take-what-I-want Annie.
Especially since what she wanted happened to be him.
“We’ll escort her,” Aiden said. “A Linear employee, or some townsfolk. The women will walk together or grab a guy to walk with them. This isn’t something that just falls on one group of people. I haven’t lived in Oak Creek as long as you guys, but one thing I know about this town: it bands together.”
Finn nodded. “Aiden’s right. We all need to look out for one another. In the meantime, we do what we can to help Sheriff Nelson find this guy, make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone else.”
They were right. It was a poor strategic plan to want to try to protect Annie all on his own. He’d always been good at utilizing all resources available in a battle. This was definitely a battle, and the people of Oak Creek were a resource.
But when he saw Annie a few hours later putting on her scrubs in his bedroom, he knew he’d been right. She was ready to return to the real world, her real life. But somehow the urge to keep her close swallowed all logic. He needed to keep her safe, even if that meant keeping her locked away.
He stood in the doorway. “What’s going on?”
He cursed himself when she yelped and spun around. Damn it, he knew better than to sneak up on her, even now. Their training had taught them to move as silently as possible, but he and the guys had gone out of their way to make sure Annie always knew when they were coming close to her.
She took a breath after a moment and then let it out. “I’m going back to work. It’s time, Zac. They need me in the ER, plus—”
“You’re ready.”
She looked relieved that he understood. “Yes. I may not be one hundred percent the way that I was, but I’ll never be that again anyway.”
He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. “I know. But you’ve established your new baseline. I understand how important that is, I really do.”
She snuggled into him. “Thank you. I didn’t want you to think I’m not grateful for everything you’ve done for me. Puppies, babysitting, letting me sit around and watch everything, all of it.”
“But now you want to start easing back.”
She nodded against his chest. “I can’t hide here forever. I don’t want to.”
“One of the guys or I will escort you for a while, to and from work. The sheriff is going to spread the word about traveling in groups—everyone, day or night, until this guy is caught.”
“I promise not to be one of those too-stupid-to-live chicks in a horror movie who goes out to check on the loud noise by herself when a known serial killer is on the loose.”
He smiled but kept her against him. “The sheriff is going to catch this guy, and we’re going to give whatever he needs to help him do it. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, little warrior.”
“I just don’t want it to happen to anyone else either. Maybe he’s moved on to somewhere far away. But that doesn’t mean he’s not hurting other women.”
He brought his fingers under her braid at her scalp, rubbing gently, loving how she burrowed into him. “It’s hard only being able to fight one section of the war, but that’s all we can do. I want to catch this bastard, make him pay for what he’s done. But first and foremost, I want you to be safe.” He forced her head back with his fingers, kissing her softly. “Stay with me.”
She groaned. “I can’t. I told them I’d come into work.”
“I mean after. Once you’re done tonight, come here. Hell, every day when you finish, come here.”
Those big brown eyes, now behind her glasses, blinked up at him. “Are you sure that’s what you want? My schedule is crazy. I never know when an eight-hour shift is going to turn into eighteen.”
“I understand crazy schedules. We’ll work around it. I want you here where I know you’re safe.” He pulled her in closer. “But mostly, I just want you here with me for as many hours of a day as I can get you. Definitely until this guy is caught, but after that too. Plus, you need to come check on Harley.”
She smiled. “And on you too?”
“Yes. Although I can pretty much promise I will be lying naked in bed waiting for you whenever you get off work at some crazy hour.”
“That’s a good enough of a reason for me.”
The first week after returning to work, Anne felt eyes on her everywhere. At the hospital. At her house—although she was rarely there alone. At Linear.
By the second week, she felt the same way but just learned to live with it. God knew there were enough on her all the time anyway, people watching to see if she would have a breakdown, to see if she and Zac were still together. Maybe she would always feel like a bit of an outsider in Oak Creek. Most of the town still held her at arm’s length and reserved and isolated would always be more of her nature anyway.
Mia didn’t keep her at arm’s length. Dirty looks flew from her all the time. But instead of making Anne nervous or uncomfortable, they had the exact opposite effect of what Mia intended. They made Anne realize that Zac was truly hers. He showed her that with his body every chance he got, but it took dirty looks from a drop-dead gorgeous woman to push the point home.
Zac didn’t want Mia. He wanted Anne.
And she wanted him. She loved that they could talk freely now about Becky and Carol and how much both women had meant to them. She’d even shared the quiet words Becky had once whispered to her about how she would’ve given Zac to Anne if she could.
He’d yanked her on top of him in the bed, wrapping his arms and legs around her, burying his face in her neck, and just held her, both secure in the knowledge they had Becky’s blessing. She’d shared her family with Anne in life and then again in death.
And the guys at Linear were becoming family too. Every day she was around them, the more this place felt like home. Finn teased her about her relationship with Zac. Aiden taught her more self-defense moves. Dorian, she found out, loved to read as much as she did, and they were constantly talking about books of all kinds.
When she stuttered around them, as she still sometimes did, they didn’t try to finish her sentences for her. They just waited patiently until she got the words out.
She was watching now from the monitor room as they trained a group of law enforcement guys who’d driven from Sweetwater—Wyoming’s largest county, a few hours away—specifically for this. They didn’t have the resources to keep training facilities as current as possible in SWAT practices, so they sent their teams to use the facilities here twice a year.
The respect between the Sweetwater SWAT team and Zac and the Linear guys was obvious. The team was excited to use the large war
ehouse training facility, which could simulate different situations: robbery, hostage-taking, and forceful entry.
Dressed in full SWAT gear, the men went through their exercises using some sort of paintball-type bullets to shoot bad guys. Zac and Finn were with them, pointing out tactical advantages, errors, strengths, and weaknesses for the way the team handled each crisis.
Zac was obviously the teacher. He had a gift for it. He was able to engage the other men, get them to see their mistakes without having to point them out. They all responded. And Zac obviously loved the action of it all.
The last hour of the day was spent in a good old-fashioned paintball competition between Linear and the SWAT team.
Sweetwater’s team was good, but they didn’t have a chance.
Of course, Zac and the boys had the home-field advantage. It was their facility and they knew all its ins and outs. But more than that, the Linear men had years of training and operations with each other. From her vantage point at the monitors, she could see how they practically read one another’s mind.
They moved in a formation that spoke of years of experience, communicating with just the barest of signals or taps on each other’s shoulders. It wasn’t long before they’d taken out the entire SWAT team.
The good-natured ribbing between the guys stalled when Sheriff Nelson entered the facility. His tense face had her running out of the room and down to the main level. Everyone was silent. Zac slipped an arm around her.
“Curtis, what is it?”
“Another rape. Same M.O. New Mexico this time. We only got word about it by accident. So, it looks like our guy is moving farther away.”
None of them looked happy about that. She wasn’t either. As long as that guy was loose—it didn’t matter what state he was in—she was always going to be looking over her shoulder. Always feeling his hot breath against her cheek.
I always catch what I hunt.
She shuddered, and Zac pulled her closer.
“But I came here for you.” The sheriff turned to Dorian. “We have three inexperienced hikers who haven’t reported in for two days. They were out in the area near Mt. Bannon, which was hit hard by storms last night. The National Forest Service guys are already up to their eyeballs with other issues and asked if my office could help. We can but—”
