The last words were a whisper against my cheek. His warm breath skated carelessly towards my heart and made me freeze, afraid to move, but not from fear of him hurting me. It was worse. I froze because I wanted him to take his threats further. But further couldn’t happen.
I finally gathered the courage to speak, nervous energy radiated off me, electrified with his unforgiving intensity. I turned slowly to face him.
“Don’t act as if I’m anything you’d be interested in. I’ve heard you can have anyone you’d like, and you have,” I challenged.
“You’re right. I could have anyone, and I have, but that doesn’t mean I need it. That part of me was a means to an end.”
“Yeah, what’s your end?” I scoffed.
“That’s a story for another day, Boo Radley Cooper. You’ll just have to trust me until then.” He pulled back and moved over, giving me my space back, but as usual, his eyes stayed in place and never left mine.
Call it word vomit, a short circuit or a nervous breakdown, but my anxiety often led to inappropriate or nosy questions.
“What’s the tattoo of?” My curiosity tumbled freely from my loose lips, desperate to fill the silence with distraction. “I’m sorry . . . that’s none of my business. It’s just I’ve been wondering.” Shit. Fuck. Balls!
“You’ve wondered about me?” he asked with a cocked brow.
“Morbid curiosity. Yes.”
He unleashed the most beautiful smile. I hadn’t seen it since Monday morning, but I’d recognize it anywhere because it felt like it was just for me.
“Oh yeah, what’s so morbid about it?” He chuckled.
“It generally involves regret. Regret that I never maced you. You’ve given me several opportunities, but mace isn’t allowed on school property. It’s considered a weapon.”
His smile grew bigger, deeper, as his mind worked over what I’d just admitted. “Good,” he said firmly. “That means I make you feel.”
“You like it when girls plan out ways to hurt you?” I retorted.
“No,” he said in a quieter, reserved tone. “Only you. I like it when you spend your time thinking about me, because maybe that can make up for all the time you’ve stolen from me when I’ve thought about you.”
“You’re crazy. You’ve literally seen me three times that I know of.”
He was crazy. He made me spiral. I felt like there wasn’t a thing I could control when he was around me. He rattled my sanity. He made me feel, but that wasn’t something I was ready for. Would I ever be? I wanted to be.
But it didn’t matter what I might want. I was damaged; almost broken. I didn’t want to be those things, but I was. There wasn’t a boy alive that deserved to deal with all the scattered pieces that were left of me. They didn’t fit right; they may never fit right.
“This isn’t happening, Meekai. I don’t know what you think I am. I don’t know why you’re so relentless. I don’t know, maybe I’m a challenge. Guys like you aren’t original. You think you can take what you can get and there’ll be no consequences. Well, let me save you the time. I’m damaged goods. Walk away.”
It was so much easier to push him away than to watch as he tried to put me back together.
He stood quickly. Startled, I edged back as he looked at me with determined fury.
“Friday,” he growled. “Be ready at six and expect to be kissed.”
8
Radley
Friday, be ready at six and expect to be kissed.
I sat motionless, his parting words echoing on repeat for the last ten minutes.
Fuck. What do I do? What do I want? Do I want him to kiss me? What if I’m bad at it? How do I do it? When the hell had my heart and mind decided they both wanted it too?
I stood on shaky legs. The coach still sat on one of the benches as I caught his eye.
“I think it’s best you make your way to the locker room. I’m finished here, so I’ll walk you around.” He stood and signaled for me to follow.
“No, that’s okay,” I stammered. “I’m sure I’ll find it.”
He chuckled. “I’m sure you will, but I have three daughters of my own, and I’d feel better if you waited where there were a bunch of noisy footballers.”
A teacher, a coach, Mrs. Dyke. No one from my old school had ever cared. It was becoming a habit around here, and it was a reassuring feeling that I’d made the right move in choosing to complete my senior year here.
A minute later, I was out front of the locker room listening to the rowdy football team shout curses at one another, laughing against the sound of showers and lockers slamming. My nerves were on edge as I waited.
A throat cleared behind me, and I turned on instinct to see who it was. Chatty Kathy. Reign Beckett, Linc’s sister.
She stood, arms crossed in defense, at what I wasn’t sure, but from the looks, I was target practice, and the fire radiating from her stare was meant for me alone.
“Radley.” My name dripped with disdain from the scowl that curved along her cherry painted lips. But I waited, unmoving and unrelenting in the fact that she had no power over me. She was one. I’d been done worse by many. This was child’s play, and I was the adult who chose not to enter her feral jungle gym.
“You took my AP bio partner,” she eased out as her spitfire eyes ran up and down the length of my body, sizing me up.
I said nothing as her smirk continued to liquify across her face, ignoring her apparent need to start something that wouldn’t end well. I could outwait her wit, I could withstand her judgement, but I refused to participate and bite back.
“My brother likes you, it seems. It’s kinda sad how he’ll chase after fresh pussy, but he’s never had standards. He’ll dine at any old hole, he’s . . .” She tapped her chin in mock thought. It was ridiculous considering she seemed to have come here armed. “He’s non-judgmental. Shape, size, class, bare, landing strip, second hand, untouched, he’ll bury himself in anything warm and wet, really. Boys, right?” She scoffed. “They’ll enter anywhere where admission is free. Even Meekai has a hard-on for you. Must be quite the predicament.”
She stepped forward, intimidation her weapon of choice, right along with a string of unoriginal words set to leave me questioning her brother's intentions and Meekai’s virtue. “I gotta say, I was surprised when I heard you turned him down. Probably smart, you’d never do it for him. He doesn’t have patience for things he needs to tame.”
A loud thump thundered from behind me. I swung my head and watched as Linc stepped around his duffle bag. “What the fuck is this, Reign?” he seethed, thoroughly unimpressed and royally pissed off.
“Naww, sorry brother. Did you hear the resounding echo of me educating Radley here about the cold hard facts? They say the truth hurts,” she mocked. “I was just waiting for Meekai. Thought I’d help a sister out while we waited. I just wanted her to be well informed.”
He turned to me, his face filled with pleading apology. “I’m sorry, Radley, it seems you’ve met my sister, and it seems she hasn’t taken her medication,” he ground out through clenched teeth, anger charged.
My eyes darted around, planning my escape, desperate to separate myself from the drama and the raw memories. I was always the target, and Reign was no different from them. She saw me as the bullseye.
Turning to her, I sighed, “I never stole anything. We were assigned partners, and as far as Linc and Meekai’s . . . tastes, I’m sure you feel the need to protect those you love. But just to let you know, I’ll pick and choose who I spend my time with. I know a little bit about the weight of rumors and the ones you’ve just spouted aren’t original, not even a little bit.”
I turned my attention back to Linc. “This has nothing to do with your sister’s weak attempt to make me run scared, but I think I’m just gonna go home.”
“Look, Radley, I’m sorry. Just let me take you for coffee. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
I felt bad, I could feel his frustration, but this never felt right a
nd if anything, it was an excuse to follow my heart. Before I could say anything, another body pulled up alongside me, all six foot three of Meekai. He looked about as amused as Linc.
“What’s going on?” He looked from Linc to Reign.
“Meekai!” Reign said with sugary sweet bullshit. “I was just waiting for you. I was wondering if you wanted to come grab a burger.”
Meekai ignored her, his attention focused on Linc. “Is there a problem here. What are you promising to make up to her, Linc?”
“It’s all good, bro. Reign was just stirring the pot and sharpening her claws.”
I shook my head, regretting the fact that Becca had Betty and my choices were limited. I could turn around and walk home, or call Gamma to come get me. The latter I didn’t want to do. Gamma mentioned she was visiting with a friend since I wouldn’t be home until later in the evening.
“Come on, Radley. Let's go.” Linc grabbed at my elbow, attempting to steer me forward, but I pulled back. The last thing I needed was this right here. This was what I was trying to avoid, and I resented the fact that it was even happening.
“Look, I’m just gonna go. I’d feel better if I went home.”
“See,” Reign piped up, pleased with herself. “Problem solved.”
“Go the fuck home, Reign. You’re embarrassing yourself,” Meekai snapped.
Her smile disappeared, and I actually felt sorry for her right up until she mouthed, “Bitch,” and popped me the middle finger.
“At least let me take you home,” Linc asked. “You might even change your mind once we get going. Please?”
“Linc, I really do just wanna go home, I have a ton of homework . . .” I didn’t bother finishing, the excuse was weak and I’d finished all my homework while I caught up with Becca. They could fill in the blanks. I wasn’t going to insult their intelligence.
“But you said Becca took your car. How are you gonna get home?”
“I’ll take her,” Meekai said, his tone firm, set, pissed.
“Kai, I can get her home. We had a date. My sister misplaced her fucking manners and if anything, I’ll be the one that gets her home.”
“I’m just gonna call Becca,” I sighed. “She’ll be fifteen at the most. Please, just go enjoy your evening.” I pulled my backpack from off my shoulder and unzipped the pocket to get my cell.
“Radley, just let me take you home,” Linc said as impatience took over.
I was taken aback. The last thing I would be doing was agreeing with his poor attempt at alpha hero. He could go irate on his sister, but I was walking.
I grabbed my phone and began to leave. I pressed the home button but the screen didn’t light up. Shit. I’d never charged it in the library like I’d meant to. The battery was low, and I’d wasted precious juice keeping an eye on the time earlier.
I huffed in frustration as I turned back around. Reign couldn’t wipe the smile off her face, Linc was working his inner cheek, jaw ticking, and Meekai? He walked past me, slow but sure. I turned over my shoulder to watch him leave, an unsettled feeling taking hold until he eased it with a smile and a shrug of his shoulder, signaling me to follow him.
So, I did. I followed him as the twins argued from behind me, a smile fighting to escape as I listened to the accusations fly. One voice raised above and over the other as they tried to dominate the useless argument. I was gone, Meekai a few long strides ahead of me, yet neither of them realized.
We walked silently, my breaths shallow. His comment from less than twenty minutes ago played on my anxieties. Fear took the place of surety as it stopped me dead in my tracks. What was I doing getting in the car with someone I didn’t know? What was I doing?
“This is too much,” I stammered, overcome with nerves. “I know I just agreed to come with you, but it’s been three days. I don’t know you people. The last thing I should be doing is getting in the car with someone I don’t know.”
He drew his head back and gathered himself, casually stuffing his hands into his pockets. He tried to look unaffected, but I could see he was taking time to choose an argument.
I couldn't help the fact that fear took over, took hold of me as a warning. I knew nothing else; it was my knee jerk reaction to everything. Mama had said, “Always trust someone until you can't. Give them the benefit of the doubt, baby girl.”
This was different. This was me trusting a boy I didn't really know with my life. Someone had already destroyed my body when I was left alone with him. And yet inside, I knew these people were different. I knew Meekai wouldn't hurt me. I didn't understand why I felt that way, but I did. My memories though? They were scared shitless. They had me clasped tight by the throat . . .
His sweat dripped down my back, my insides turned as he physically tore me apart. Each thrust was aggressive. He purposely drove in with no care as blood dripped, and I screamed.
The pool table where he had slammed me face down jolted with each vile thrust. My hair was wrapped around his fist, every movement violently yanking my head backward so far that I had no choice but to look into his soulless eyes. His lips were twisted in vile satisfaction, eyes pools of black, like the depths of hell itself claimed purchase there. I screwed my eyes shut, but it just made him pull harder.
“Open your eyes, Boo girl. I want you to see what you do to me. You shut them one more time and I'll pull her from her cozy little bed and bring her down to join the party. Fucking. Test. Me!” he shouted.
I opened my eyes and stared straight through him. His time would come. I’d make sure he paid for his sins. I'd deliver him personally.
My kingdom come. My will be done. You might have me now, but I’ll destroy you later.
“Nobody here cares if you live another day, Boo, but me. I've had my eye on that sweet ass for longer than I should admit. Even though no one will believe a word out of your mouth, let me warn you. You say a thing, your daddy will lose his job. I will take it all away.”
My hands laid like dead weights on the pool table as his words held me down, his threats made sure they kept me there. I’d finally stopped screaming, struggling, but it just made him punish me harder.
He heaved as a strained, “Fuckkk, you feel good,” shamelessly left his mouth. His satisfaction scraped my ears like knives as he relentlessly pounded into me. His hand unlatched from my hip, and I could feel the sting of the raw wounds he left behind with his fingernails.
I didn't think it could get any worse until the hand he removed from my hip made its way to his filthy mouth. He spat into his hand, and his lips curled into a perverted sneer as he reached down to cup my core.
His fingers slithered through my folds and sensation met confusion as warmth spread through me the more he touched and coaxed. I didn't understand my body's betrayal as he circled a spot I'd only heard about. What the fuck was happening? What did this make me?
“Now,” he taunted as he bent down and licked my ear. “Do you want me to make you come? I want to feel how much you want me because I know you do. I can feel you, you know that? You're tightening around me, Boo. You feel it?”
I tried to hold my breath, I tried shaking my head as strands of my hair tore away, anything to stop the sensation that was building.
“You dirty little whore,” he seethed on a sick chuckle. “You're. Just. About. There.”
He enunciated each word, a deep groan ripped and roared from his putrid throat. My hearing muffled as my ears rang with the reverberation of his release.
My body shook and hatred dripped, hatred towards myself. My chest burned as I screamed in defiant torment. My body submitted and anguish took hold of my heart. I screamed until my vocal cords lost the war and gave in to complete and utter decimation. My senses floated away with the grief that would hold me hostage, crucify me, mark me soulless for as long as I should live.
I wished he would've just killed me.
I knew what this made me.
He was right.
I was a whore.
A sound like a whimper
escaped my mouth. The smell of the memory enveloped me, but I tried to push it away and breathe in the fragrant earth to ground myself. The air had cooled as the night progressed, bringing with it the pine smell of the evergreens and freshly mowed grass of the school grounds. I inhaled deeply, taking in the rich scent, attempting to ground myself in the here and now.
“Radley?” Meekai’s voice questioned in concern. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. I didn’t know why I’d shaken my head, telling him I wasn’t okay. I had no intention of playing it off as anything but his imagination.
“You’re not okay?” he asked as he took a few steps in my direction.
I flinched back, and he immediately stopped. He held his hands up in reassurance that he wouldn’t come any closer.
“Radley.” His voice was warm, a gentle kindness that filled me with guilt for behaving like this. “I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. You’re safe with me. I realize I was too full-on before. I swear, I will never touch you without your consent. Ever,” he solidified.
I tried to play it off with humor. “Sure, I bet there's a shovel in the back of your car.” He laughed but it sounded more like relief. He was no doubt questioning my stability. I was questioning my stability.
“I’m not gonna kill you,” he joked. “How else am I supposed to get a first date? I haven’t forgotten about Friday.” He raised a brow and tilted his lips.
I turned to catch his smile. His smile held so much, it looked like . . . he meant every word.
Trust someone until you can’t.
“This is me.” He directed as he pointed at a black Jeep, all shiny and new. It couldn’t have been more than a few years old, but it suited him. I was expecting a muscle car, but there was a freedom about Meekai that suited the vibe of the Jeep.
As I got closer to the passenger side door, trepidation pulled at my feet. Should I? Shouldn’t I? He’s not him, I told myself.
Thirteen Hours To You Page 10
