by Jared Stone
“You’re too predictable,” said Gus in return. “You made it obvious what your move would be. When fighting, you have to make your plans as dark and mysterious as the night; then, when you strike, do it with the intensity and power of a lightning bolt. A great master once told me to move as swiftly as the wind, yet remain as sturdy as wood. Attack with the ferocity of fire, but remain as still as a mountain.”
This is ridiculous, Lucian snapped in his head as he turned to once again face the Kílán. And who are all these ‘masters’ he keeps talking about? I bet they’re all just made up to validate anything he wants to say.
Lucian stood not too far from Gus, quaking with frustration and formulating a plan of attack in his head. He would need to be cunning to outwit this worthy adversary. Without warning, he lunged at his opponent in an effort to catch him off his guard and tackle him. But still the Kílán was too quick, and he sidestepped the boy’s ill-fated attempt with his leg stuck out to the side so that Lucian quickly found himself once again tumbling face-first into the dirt.
“That was a little bit better…” said Gus, obviously trying to be sympathetic. “But still too predictable. You need to calm yourself and avoid getting caught up in your anger and frustration.”
“I give up!” cried out Lucian as he picked himself up off the ground. “It’s all pointless! You’re too quick!”
“The only way you’ll progress,” said Gus, almost sternly, “is to continue to practice and learn from your mistakes! The masters I trained under were MUCH less forgiving than I am to you. Now just relax and try again. Fighting is a lot more like meditation than most people think. If you learn to empty your mind and really become one with every-thing around you, you’ll be able to command the battle in your favor.”
I just wanna sleep… thought Lucian desperately. He clenched his teeth together and breathed in deeply through his nose, using every last ounce of patience he had within him. Alright. Just picture Gus as your perfect partner in practicing patience. He’s just trying to help. He’s irritating, but he’s trying to be nice. Teaching you patience.
“Let’s try again…,” mumbled Lucian reluctantly. His sparring partner smiled back at him like a proud parent.
“Good. Let’s try something different,” said Gus, waving his hand to indicate that Lucian should come closer to him. “Stick your hands out like this.”
He raised up his arms so that his right arm was out straight in front of him with the palm facing up and his left arm was held with the elbow slightly bent with a relaxed wrist. Lucian stepped in close and did the same. When he did so, the Kílán placed Lucian’s right arm under his relaxed left hand and set his own right arm under the boy’s left hand.
“Okay,” Gus said, looking at Lucian. “This training method is called the Chi Sau technique. The idea is to sense my movements and anticipate my attack. As we move, try to maintain contact with my arms and hands at all times, okay?”
“Okay…,” responded Lucian with confusion. Gus began to slowly shift his arms, alternating between which was sticking out straight below and which was held loosely above. Lucian tried to keep his hands on the Kílán’s limbs at all times, and soon the two companions fell into an easy rhythm of arms twisting up and down.
“Good!” said Gus enthusiastically. Lucian smiled with relief that he had caught on so quickly. “Ready to increase the intensity a bit?” Gus added.
“Yeah!” answered Lucian, energized by his recent success in this physical endeavor. Gus slowly began to speed up the alternating of his arms, and Lucian started to have greater difficulty keeping up with the Kílán’s movements. Suddenly, without warning, Gus broke their connection and lightly smacked Lucian’s head with his hand.
“Hey!” cried Lucian, dropping his arms and taking a step back. “What was that for!?”
“You gotta be ready for that!” responded Gus with a grin. “The exercise is intended to train you to sense my intentions and where my energy is flowing. You have to learn how to prepare for that.”
Lucian wasn’t having fun. He hadn’t been aware that actual hitting was involved in this activity as well. Why does the point of everything always have to be hitting!? he wondered angrily. Reluctantly, he stepped back toward his opponent and held his hands out.
“Fine,” he said shortly. “But I get to do it too!”
“Okay with me,” Gus consented with another grin. They started the movements of their interconnected limbs again, going faster and faster as the seconds crept by. Lucian was in a state of constant vigilance, cringing at every slight flick of Gus’ muscles in preparation for another assault. Lucian could see that Gus was having fun toying with him too, as the Kílán would purposefully tense his arm at random intervals to make Lucian’s heart seize in anxiety.
In an effort to preemptively strike, Lucian reached out, aiming for his opponent’s head. Unfortunately, Gus grabbed his outstretched arm, twisted it down, and clamped his other hand on top of it. In one fluid movement he brought the first hand up and tapped Lucian in the temple instead.
“Good try,” said Gus with a smug look on his face.
“Dammit…,” mumbled Lucian under his breath. He thought for sure that he would at least be able to make contact before he was stamped down again by his grossly superior sparring partner. But, alas, the Kílán was still too quick.
“I think I’ve had enough of this exercise…,” Lucian admitted, defeated. “I’m no good at this, and you’ll always be quicker.”
“That’s a quitter’s attitude!” exclaimed Gus as he playfully started jabbing at the boy’s sides with his hands. “Come on, block me!”
“Stop it, Gus,” demanded Lucian, twisting and turning his body in a failed attempt at dodging the Kílán’s jabs. However, no matter how much Lucian tried, his opponent wouldn’t yield.
“I’m serious, stop!” said Lucian more forcefully. He waved his arms around his sides wildly in an effort to block the endless attacks. “Stop it!”
But Gus wouldn’t stop. He remained firmly planted in place, relentlessly poking at the boy. Not hard, certainly, but with enough force to be irritating and just a little uncomfortable. Lucian could feel rage building up inside him. He had had enough of all the hitting and humiliation and exhaustion he felt.
“STOP!!” the boy cried out suddenly, pushing his arms out at the chest of his assailant. Immediately, a bright flash of light exploded from his palms against the Kílán, and he saw Gus fly backward through the air and land on the ground several feet away. Lucian stood there for a moment in shock, his arms still outstretched as the light slowly faded within them. As the tingling in his limbs gradually diminished, he began to realize what he had just done.
Rushing over to his motionless companion on the ground, Lucian knelt down and frantically cried, “Gus!? Gus!” He shook the man’s body, desperately hoping he was alright.
“Uhhhh...” moaned Gus as he slowly reached up with his hand and rubbed his chest where the energy impact had occurred. Panhavant could be heard in the distance bouncing up and down, clapping his hands together, and laughing with glee.
“Are you alright!?” Lucian inquired worriedly.
“Nice hit…,” said the Kílán as he struggled to sit up straight. Lucian hooked his arm behind the man’s back and pulled to support his upper body.
“I didn’t mean to…,” Lucian said apologetically.
“Oh, I know,” responded Gus, now able to support himself on the ground with his hands to his sides. “I know it was an accident.”
“But how did I…?” Lucian asked in disbelief.
“You got angry,” replied Gus without even a second thought. “There aren’t many other times in life when people are more in the present moment than when they’re angry. Especially if they’re being hit. Old masters in some traditions would smack their students with long wooden sticks during meditation in an effort to force their minds to exist in the present moment and achieve enlightenment.”
“So that’s what I h
ave to do, then?” the boy asked. “I just have to get angry when I fight Zagan and I’ll be able to generate my qi powers?”
“No,” replied Gus forcefully. “That’s a really bad idea. See, anger will help you empty your mind and be in the present for a short time, but it’ll also blind you to compassion, patience, and understanding. Those attributes are crucial for you to maintain above all else. Otherwise, your desires, anger, and ignorance will corrupt you, and you’ll become more like Zagan than Panhavant.”
Lucian certainly didn’t want that, but the knowledge that his power could be generated through rage was a tantalizing proposition for him. It would be so easy for him to win a fight if he relied on anger to boost his power, and he thought in the back of his mind that he should remember this…, just in case he ever found himself in a dire situation.
“Alright, I’ll be sure to avoid getting overwhelmed by my emotions like that in the future then,” Lucian said with a hint of doubt.
“Please do,” said Gus, rubbing his chest again. “Hold onto that feeling of being in the moment, but seek it through calmness and meditation instead, not through anger. I gotta admit, though, that’s one heck of a blast you generated there!!”
The two of them laughed as Lucian helped Gus back onto his feet. “You wanna stop for the day?” Gus then asked Lucian.
“Yes please!” exclaimed the boy, relieved that he would finally be able to go home and rest.
“Alright,” said Gus with a hint of disappointment. “Will you be able to come back down here at all during the week?”
Lucian pondered this for a moment. “Doubtful,” he replied. “I always have a ton of work to do during the week between classes. I don’t think I’ll have any nights without homework.”
“Fair enough,” said Gus. “School is important too, after all!” The Kílán then grew serious. “But, don’t forget, we’re on a ticking clock here. I don’t know when Zagan will make his next move, but we shouldn’t wait too long to get you ready to call upon your qi and face him again.”
Lucian nodded in agreement. “If I find any free time, I’ll be sure to let you know!”
Gus smiled and patted the boy gently on the back in approval. The two began walking toward the trunk of the tree to rejoin Panhavant, who was now wandering around in the shade, inspecting various insects on the ground in pure fascination, as would a child. Lucian suddenly thought of something he had been wondering for the past few days.
“So, how old is Zagan anyway?” Lucian asked.
“It’s tough to say for sure,” responded Gus. “There are many different beings that exist in this and other universes. Demons are concentrations of spiritual energy corrupted by wrong understanding, desire, anger, and other defilements. There’s a chance that they were once human, but the passage of time has transformed them into nothing more than negative manifestations of energy. As such, they exist for eternity as metaphysical embodiments of the worst qualities of human existence. Zagan could well be millennia old, existing long before the emergence of humans onto this earth. Or he could have arisen as a result of human sentiments or actions. We’ve never exactly chatted about it before.”
“Well, he still looks pretty good for possibly being so ancient,” Lucian stated, stopping to lean against the trunk beside him.
“Haha! Well, that’s not actually his body,” Gus responded, standing with his arms folded across his chest. “You see, demons don’t have physical forms, per se. They exist solely as energy and are required to inhabit a host form if they wanna walk the earth like a human. Somehow, Zagan has acquired a host and returned from his previous imprisonment: some unfortunate person who unknowingly helped him escape, no doubt.”
Lucian was once again amazed by this new facet of reality explained to him. He wondered if the host kept any awareness during the period of possession and considered how terrifyingly helpless that poor stranger must feel being trapped in his own body, controlled by a demonic intruder. The notion made the boy despair, and he looked off into the distance, lost in thought.
“So, you wanna be alone again tonight?” Gus asked, breaking through the boy’s occupied mind.
“Umm, I’m fine with whatever,” Lucian responded hesitantly. Secretly, he hoped that Gus would stay with him so he would be able to relax and finally get some sleep. But, at the same time, he still didn’t want to look weak and afraid.
“Well, why don’t I stay over again tonight, then?” Gus offered with a little smirk. Lucian could not determine whether or not the Kílán had sensed his apprehensiveness, but he was very relieved at the decision nonetheless.
“Sure!” Lucian said with a little more excitement than he had wished to portray. “Should we head back now?” he then added with a bit more reserve.
“Not quite yet,” said Gus, smiling. “You practically just arrived! Let’s sit and have some tea first….”
8 - Anticipation
Friday, October 31st
It had been almost a month since Lucian began his training with Gus and Panhavant, and the addition of school on top of the weekend trips to Deer Park had left him feeling absolutely exhausted. All week long, he focused his mind on completing essays and various other assignments, and, on the weekends, he focused his mind on impermanence, emptiness, and interconnectedness. All of this focusing expended a vast amount of brain power, and Lucian desperately needed some time to get away and rest.
The morning Lucian met Gus, he had agreed not to go home that weekend with the understanding that he would be able to go the weekend after. A month later, the boy still had not visited his mom and dad. Although the threat of the demon had grown distant in Lucian’s mind, the tantalizing siren’s call of mastering his power had gotten the better of him, and he surrendered himself entirely over to Gus’ and Panhavant’s instruction. Lucian was certainly progressing with greater understanding and mastery of his own mind and body, but he still hadn’t experienced any profound breakthroughs. Lucian finally decided that he had sacrificed enough, and he successfully convinced Gus to let him return home to celebrate Halloween with his parents.
“I really appreciate you being okay with me doing this,” Lucian said to Gus as he grabbed some shirts from his dresser and laid them atop the rest of the clothing folded neatly in his suitcase. “I know it’s kinda strange, but Halloween is one of my mom’s favorite holidays. She’s gonna be super excited that I’ll be home for it!”
“I didn’t actually say I was okay with it,” responded Gus, leaning against the doorframe of Lucian’s dorm room with his arms crossed against his chest. “I agreed that it’d been a long time since you went home, and your parents would probably be anxious to see you. That being said, I’m very uneasy about you being alone on Samhain, when the veil between this world and other realms is at its thinnest….”
“Oh, I’ll be fine,” shot back Lucian as he counted out three pairs of socks. “I’ll be with my parents all weekend long; I won’t be alone.”
“You know, with an ancient demon maybe hunting you, that doesn’t really make me feel any better,” responded Gus dryly. “Promise me you’ll be careful and at least keep watch over your shoulder at all times.”
“Of course,” Lucian stated dismissively. Zipping his suitcase closed, he turned to Gus. “Thank you for worrying, but I’ll be fine.” Lucian grabbed the luggage from the bed and placed it on the floor before him. “My parents will be here soon, so I should get downstairs.”
Biting one section of his lower lip in worry, Gus moved aside so that Lucian could open the door behind him. They both exited the room, and Lucian turned around and took a few seconds to lock the stubborn doorknob. As Lucian straightened back up, Gus held out his hand in an offer to shake. Lucian grasped Gus’ hand and looked him in the eye as the two shook. “If you need anything, you just let me know,” Gus said earnestly.
“Thank you; I will,” responded Lucian. Although he wanted it to sound genuine, he silently thought of the fact that he didn’t have a phone number for Gus at
all; the Kílán had always just sort of been there whenever he was needed. In fact, he had never seen Gus use a phone at all, and Lucian wasn’t confident that the Kílán even owned one. But he didn’t wish to bring that up now, for fear that Gus would ask for his number in return. Lucian really wanted to be unreachable for a while and have a reprieve from learning and training. Looking back at Gus’ solemn expression, Lucian smiled, which brought a smile to his companion’s face as well. Lucian then released his grip on Gus’ hand, grabbed his suitcase, and rolled it through the hall and down the stairs to await his parents’ arrival in front of the building.
* * *
“So, are you dating anyone?” Mrs. Aarden asked bluntly as Lucian took another bite of his mashed potatoes. Lucian inhaled suddenly at this and found himself choking and sputtering, bits of potato flying from his mouth. Flashing back to his experience with Sam in the lunch hall, he realized that eating potatoes had somehow become a kind of potential deathtrap for him.
“Mary, give the kid some privacy!” said Mr. Aarden as he reached over his plate for more salt from the center of the table. “I’m sure he would’ve told you already if he wanted you to know!”
“Hey, I’m just curious,” Mrs. Aarden responded, smiling mischievously and glancing back at her son, clearly still expecting an answer to her inquiry.
Composing himself, Lucian managed to articulate a response. “No, mom,” he said. “I’ve only been there two months. I haven’t met anyone worth talking about yet.” Images of Sam once again popped into his mind, but Lucian knew deep down inside that his infatuation for the frat boy was mere fantasy; there was no way that someone so popular and attractive would reciprocate his affection.
“Oh,” Mrs. Aarden said disappointedly. She smiled and reached over to rub the back of her son’s head. “I’m sure you’ll find someone soon! You’re such a great catch!”
“Thanks, mom…,” Lucian said as he blushed and looked down at his plate. He had never been very confident in his own abilities or appearance, but his mom was always able to make him feel special, no matter the occasion. Silently smiling, he scooped up one last forkful of potatoes and stuffed it in his mouth, hoping he wouldn’t choke again.
