by Nicolas Page
LOVE CLICK
First Part
13 ESSENTIAL LESSONS
TO AVOID PITFALLS
OF ONLINE DATING
Copyright © 2016 Nicolas Page
This book is a work of fiction.
No part of the contents relate to any real person or persons, living or dead
The information contained within this book is strictly for entertaining purposes. If you wish to apply ideas contained in this book, you are taking full responsibility for your actions.
Table of Content
Introduction
Are You Fond of Cats?
Career Opportunity
About the Author
Introduction
At the age of 35, I found myself in a situation in which I had to find a partner whom, I hoped, I would be with for the rest of my life. I had just endured a painful divorce, leaving behind my family, house, and much more.
After many months of mending my soul and reaching this point in my life, I felt ready to be reborn. Since the old, traditional methods of meeting people no longer worked, I registered on an online dating site.
It is exciting to see what others think of you as a person. As far as I can tell, this is dependent on many factors; it could even be the season or the weather!
Since I am a technical guy, I had a clear concept on how to filter my potential partners. I began my search process by corresponding with and dating several people. Since reality is often very far removed from what you might imagine, this time of my life was filled with unusual, strange, hilarious, and unbelievable experiences. My closest friends, who have observed my “Odyssey”, have told me that with all of the adventures I have endured, I should consider publishing a book.
I am sure that most who have participated in the dating game have similar experiences. Rather than sharing all of the details, I have, instead, presented fictional characters of different ages, and backgrounds, and shared their stories. Each chapter contains a different story with different protagonists. I am confident, as a reader of this book, you will find familiar characters, situations, and experiences that are relatable to what you have experienced in your own life.
The primary goal of this book is to entertain while providing takeaways to help you avoid the pitfalls of online dating.
What can I tell you about my case?
As the Bryan Adam’s song says: “I finally found someone.”
Are You Fond of Cats?
I am living with a cat and a dog.
When I think of cats and dogs and how adorable they are, I thank God for their existence.
My name is Karen Taylor. I am a curator at the Maritime Museum in Aberdeen, Great Britain. I grew up in this city, and I love the ambience here. I have a small apartment that I share with my adorable pets. I have a cat named Poppy and a dog named Sherlock. Poppy is an amazing mackerel tabby cat; she is so intelligent that sometimes I wonder if perhaps she was human in her past life. I believe she would be funny as hell in such a past life if it were to exist. Sherlock is a yellow golden retriever, and he is very mischievous. I do not think it is necessary to point out the fact that I love cats and dogs at this point.
I am an average twenty-one-year old girl. I’m not really concerned with fashion trends as such. I prefer to sit in the rocking chair by the fireplace on a cold night reading an interesting book and living through the characters with Poppy and Sherlock sitting on either side. Boys do not interest me so much …
Well, it’s not as if I’m not interested in boys. I just find it a little difficult to meet anyone I actually like and am not the type that hooks up with just anyone unless I’m absolutely interested. One day in August, I had a lunch break. I walked to the nearest café with a few colleagues. They are my dearest friends, and as girlfriends tend to do, we began to discuss our love lives. Soon the discussion turned to me, and I realized I had no story to tell. It was a little mortifying, and my friends could tell. Sharon, the most outspoken of us all, then proposed a brilliant idea.
“Getting a boyfriend is ridiculously easy these days”, she said smugly. I was intrigued, and I shifted in my seat towards her.
“Pray tell”, I said.
She told me all about online dating and how easy it was to get a boyfriend through dating sites.
“It is quite easy my dear. All you have to do is find someone with whom you have common interests. You are bound to click on at least one level with such a person, and the other things will sort themselves out” she said as she reclined in her seat and sipped her tea.
I was very interested, and I decided to give it a try. Sharon helped me to sign up on a dating website. I used a picture I had taken on my phone of Poppy as the display picture. As part of my requirements, I wrote, “ARE YOU FOND OF CATS?”
I went home that evening after a particularly busy day. I had already forgotten about the events of the day. I cooked and ate, took care of Poppy and Sherlock and then I began to read. I got the first message that night. His name was… goodness, I can’t remember!
He was so very annoying. Even while chatting all he could talk about was himself, his achievements, which by the way are nothing to write home about. He said something about his dreams and how he had always wanted to be a superhero. The bloke was thirty years old who still sincerely wanted to become a superhero. He went on to his home, which he decorated himself with animal heads and about how much he dislikes pets of any kind! He was definitely not my type.
The next day was the same story, and so was the day after that and the day after that. I was about to give up on online dating when I discovered a handsome boy; his profile was a little crazy. However, everything from his username, which was Felis Catus, to his profile picture, showed that he loves cats. He was definitely fond of cats and, of course, I was interested.
His display picture showed him with about three cats and a very feline expression. We began to chat, and I was having a lot of fun conversing with him. My evening, which had been reserved for reading by the fireplace, became one of talking and giggling while Poppy and Sherlock stared at me suspiciously. I was acting like a fifteen-year-old, and they must have found it odd. Even I found it odd but it didn’t matter. I liked this man and wanted very much to meet him. After chatting for a couple of days, we made plans to meet.
I remember telling Sharon about the proposed date the following day. I was excited. It was my first date since forever and I really wanted it to go well. We made plans to meet at a café downtown. I finished at work that day and made my way home. I got home, took a quick shower, applied light make-up, fed Poppy and Sherlock and I was finally on my way.
I met Dennis, that was his name, at the door just as I was about to enter. He was punctual and I loved that about him.
“Hello Karen, I’m Dennis.” He didn’t sound as childish as I was expecting. He was actually much mature, and that was also a real thing. We got in and ordered coffee and some scones. The conversation was incredible. I laughed all night. He being as handsome as he was indeed helped the matter. We began to see each other on a regular basis.
After a week, Dennis invited me to his house for dinner. I was a little nervous, but I figured I had to trust him if we were going to have any chance of being serious. He picked me up at my apartment and drove to his place. I was surprised to find out he only lived a couple of blocks away from my place. He fixed me a couple of cocktails, and he was good at it. It was so delicious that I just had to have another. My alcohol tolerance is quite low, so my senses were totally muted after that second drink. We had dinner dazedly. It was delicious, but I can’t quite remember exactly what it was that we had. I only remember the sensations, the feeling and the movement.
We kissed languidly after dinner. Dennis’
s hands began to wander over my body. I wanted them there. We made love there and then on the couch. It was wonderful. I was still a little disoriented so Dennis assisted me into his bedroom. I fell onto the bed and did not wake up until very early the next morning.
It must have been around 5:00 am or so because it was still quite dark. The light was off, and I could not see a thing. Something had woken me up, and I wasn’t quite sure what it was. My senses came alive one after the other; my eyes opened but the whole room was completely dark. Something was not quite right about the way the room smelled; I couldn’t figure it out at the time. My muscles were cramped from sleeping in an unnatural angle all night long. I must have been quite tipsy the night up.
I remembered almost immediately that I was in Dennis’s house. I soon realized exactly what it was that woke me up. There was something warm and
