They said goodbye after having dinner at Phyllos. He had a 4 a.m. show time, and told her it would be easier to do it that way. When she pulled out the journal to give him, he laughed.
“Okay, clue me in – how is a journal funny?”
“It’s not funny, but getting a journal was one of the last things I had to run out and get tonight to pack,” he said.
“Really? You journal?”
“I do. I started doing it in high school. I bought a notebook for the last deployment to keep that separate from my usual journals, so this is perfect.”
“I had no idea you did that. I don’t think a lot of guys do.”
“It was actually a challenge from an English teacher in 10th grade. He asked us to journal at least three times a week to get some writing inspiration. If we showed him our journal entries on Fridays, he would give us extra credit. I always did any extra credit that was offered. After that year, I was just in the habit of doing it, and I liked being able to go back and see how I’ve changed over the years.”
“Well, I don’t really journal, but I bought myself one to use during this deployment. I thought we could share our journals when you got back in case there’s anything we forgot to tell each other.”
“Amanda, I love it! Thank you. I’ll miss you a lot, but it will help to ‘talk’ to you every day in the journal.”
“I’m going to miss you, too.”
Amanda kept herself busy that summer by teaching some summer school classes in Tacoma and tutoring three high school girls who were referred to her from her father. She didn’t miss the early mornings at the coffee shop, but she did try to make it there at least every other week to see Jodie and catch up with her. During the school year, she had been able to go early a few times and bring drinks in for the other English teachers, too. She was slowly getting to know them, but it was hard to feel like she belonged some days when they had worked together for 12 years and she had only been there for one. Bringing in their favorite coffee drinks had gone a long way toward getting them talking to her more, though.
Lucas was able to video chat with Amanda four times while he was gone for about 15 minutes. They had scheduled time slots each month, and he had been on trips for two of them. He was training for a full marathon this time and lifting more weights. She could see the difference in the video chats. He said he was mainly doing it to stay busy. Between the trips, staying caught up on class work, and working out, he didn’t have much time to just sit and complain, which wasn’t anything he wanted to do anyway. They would both have to break their new “staying busy” habits when he got back in October. Amanda planned to not do any tutoring in the fall, and Lucas had his marathon run on Halloween, so he would be done with that training by then.
“What costume should I wear for the run?” he asked her in their last video chat in September.
“What about C3PO since you’re so tall? Or a tree?” she tried to keep a straight face, but burst out laughing thinking of him running dressed as a tree.
“Well, those would be fun,” he said, smiling, “but I do have to be able to run in the costume. What about Spiderman? Or a guy from the Blue Man Group?”
“There’s bound to be a lot of those since that fits into a typical running getup. Hmmm, what about running in a kilt? My dad has one of those leprechaun hats that has a red beard attached to it. You could be the tallest Irishman around.”
“That would be fun. Maybe I’ll do that. Can you see if you dad would let me borrow the hat? I actually think Marc might have a kilt since his high school mascot was the Scots. It was their dress uniform for away football games.”
“No way! I’ve never heard of that. That’s hilarious!” They both had a good laugh picturing Marc in a kilt and then their time was almost up.
“Amanda, thanks for taking my call. It’s been a tough two days. I found out when I got back yesterday that one of the guys at the fitness center committed suicide. They’re saying his wife sent him a letter saying she was going to ask for a divorce when he got home and move to Texas with their two kids. It’s just so sad.”
“Oh, Lucas, that is so very sad. He must have felt hopeless.”
“It gets hard for all of us being gone for so long, but the chaplains are really good about being there if people need to talk. I’m definitely going to pay more attention to the guys I’m around, though.”
Amanda saw a hand tap Lucas’ shoulder – the signal that his time was officially up and it was someone else’s turn to connect with a loved one.
“I gotta go, but I get to see you in 27 days – in person!”
“I can’t wait,” Amanda said and she blew him a kiss. He blew one back.
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Lucas came back on a Friday, and Amanda was able to get the day off after the principal stepped in. She hadn’t taken any days off since she started working the year before, but the English department chair didn’t want her to have the day off because it was full of end-of-quarter tests and they didn’t like to have substitutes on those days. She recommended no, but when the principal saw why Amanda was taking the day off, she approved it. She sent Amanda an email to let her know and told her she had a nephew who was on his third deployment and that it was important we showed support to the troops. Amanda immediately replied with a “thank you.” The English chair came into her room shortly after that and told her she really had wanted to say yes, but she had to follow the recommendations. She said she was glad the principal had approved the request. Amanda was relieved to hear that – she didn’t want to have any problems with any other teachers, although it would have been worth it to see Lucas when he got home.
By the time Lucas got back, Amanda felt like a pro going onto the base. She went once or twice a month during the deployment to a spouse social or a care package packing party. She no longer felt like the gate guards were scrutinizing her every move as she drove up. She had even survived a car inspection in May. She had no idea what they would be looking for, but she had hoped they wouldn’t find it. It only took them five minutes to look her car over as she never kept much in it and then they wished her a good day.
When she walked into Base Ops, she saw several familiar faces but walked over to Terri first and looked at her new baby. They had been able to send her husband back home for the birth, and he helped run things at the office for the end of the deployment. They were both there, along with their other son.
“He is just so adorable,” Amanda said. “I know I say that every time I see you, but he just seems like the sweetest baby.”
“Thanks! I think it’s all because his father is home to have a calming effect on us all,” she replied. “I’m so excited to see all the guys coming back home. I truly hope it’s another three years before they have to go again.”
“Isn’t that what they’ve been promised?” Amanda asked.
“Yes, but the military doesn’t always keep its promises. We get our orders next month to move in January. If we get Alaska, Will won’t have to deploy for a couple years. If we get Altus, he’ll be home all the time. If we get Charleston, several of those squadrons are up for deployments next year.”
“Oh, I hadn’t thought about that,” Amanda said. “So, deployments are based on the squadron, not on the person? That makes sense, of course, I just hadn’t thought about it that way. Lucas said he would get orders soon, too, after the deployment.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s good for you to know how it works, though. Women should think hard before they sign up to be a military wife. My father was in the military, so I knew what I was getting into, but so many of these marriages end early because the wife wasn’t prepared for the TDYs, trips, and deployments.”
The commander started speaking then, and Amanda thought about what Terri had said. She wasn’t concentrating on what the commander was saying until she heard the word “suicide.”
“There were two suicides on the base our squadron was stationed at
for the deployment. One just happened five days ago, so you may not have been told about that from your loved one yet. I wanted to let you know so you can give your loved one extra support if they seem to be affected. The first one worked at the fitness center, and many in the unit came in contact with him often. The other was a maintenance worker who fixed issues with the planes we flew. While there wasn’t as much interaction with him, it was someone closely tied to our mission.
“Capt. Lauder will hand out a flyer here in a minute that lists all the support services offered to military members coming back from a deployment. The chaplains are always available. Father Brown is here with us today. Family Services and the hospital offer counseling. Please call me anytime if there are ever any serious issues. My number is written on the back of the pamphlets.”
He then started to discuss all the accomplishments of the squadron during the deployment. Amanda was handed a pamphlet, and she decided to put the commander’s number in her phone – just in case. She glanced over the pamphlet and then tucked it into her purse. Like Terri said, she should know what she was getting into. Then the guys started coming through the double doors.
Lucas was about the 25th guy to come through the doors, not that Amanda had been counting, she said to herself. This time, she walked toward him, and he ran toward her. They embraced and then he dipped her down for a kiss like the iconic World War II reunion photo. He pulled her up, and the whole room clapped. She could feel her face turning red, but a huge smile was beaming across her face. They walked hand-in-hand to her car. They went to get a quick late lunch at a local burger joint just outside of the base gate, and while they both smiled a lot, there wasn’t a lot of talking as they were both hungry and it was obvious Lucas was tired. She took him to a hotel where he planned to stay for just a few days before moving back into the same apartment complex, just a different apartment and roommate. Marc was heading to training in Oklahoma in two weeks, so Lucas was going to share the space with Greg. Amanda hadn’t met Greg as he had just moved to the base a few months before the deployment. It was his second assignment, so he was older than Lucas by just a few years.
There was a squadron party the next night, and her family had Lucas over for Sunday brunch to welcome him home. Their first real date with time to themselves would be Sunday night – at Phyllos.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Phyllos was not a fancy dinner location, but Lucas asked her to dress up a little in case they went somewhere else downtown after dinner. He said he had a surprise in store, but that’s all he would tell her. When he picked her up, he was actually in tan slacks, brown dress shoes, a long-sleeved blue button-up shirt, and a dark red tie.
“You’ve only dressed up like this for the two times we headed to the restaurant in Seattle,” she noted as they walked to his car from her apartment. “We must be going somewhere really nice after dinner.” She had guessed they might go see the play that was running in Tacoma, the off-Broadway show of “The Phantom of the Opera.” They hadn’t been to a play together yet, but she and Juliana tried to go to one every year.
“You’ll see,” he said with a wink and a grin.
Lucas talked about his trip home, and Amanda told him about work that week. She couldn’t believe she had a student this year who kept slipping text talk into his essays. Lucas was a little more quiet than usual from what she remembered, but she knew he was probably still tired and jet-lagged.
When they got to Phyllos, Lucas parked right in front of the entrance. Amanda thought it was odd there were only a few cars in the parking lot. It was usually fairly packed, especially on the weekend. After Lucas opened her door and helped her out of the car, she saw the owner, Nicholas, open the door to let them in. Amanda thought that was odd, too, but Lucas led them to the door.
“Welcome! Welcome! What a beautiful night!”
As they walked in, Amanda realized they were the only two customers. The tables were rearranged so there was a small one in the middle of the restaurant decorated with candles and a lot of room around it. The lights were dimmed and the music playing was George Strait – one of the few music artists both Lucas and Amanda could agree was good. Amanda turned and looked at Lucas.
“What’s all this?” she asked.
“Amanda, for sticking with me through two deployments now, you deserve a special night. I talked Nicholas into letting us have the restaurant to ourselves tonight. We’re having a five-course Greek feast with all your favorites.” He took both her hands in his. “Care to dance first?”
They danced for two songs and then sat down to dinner. Each course brought more of her favorites, and their conversation eased back to what was normal for them as they shared more stories of their lives from the past six months. Lucas had loved the journal and said some days it was the only thing that made him smile. They talked about the suicides for a bit and to Amanda, it seemed like Lucas was handling such sad events very well. When it was time for dessert, Lucas went back to the kitchen to ask for it as they hadn’t seen Nicholas or his daughter, Nikki, for a while. He came back with tiramisu, but instead of placing it on the table, he held it out in his palm and got down on one knee beside her chair. Amanda saw a flash of light on top of the tiramisu and realized there was a ring on top. Amanda was shocked. She barely had time to turn and face him before he started talking.
“Amanda, I’ve been planning this since the day I stepped on that plane for the deployment. My heart didn’t want to go, and I realized I felt home wherever you are. If you’re willing to follow me around for a few years, we will settle down wherever you want when I leave the Air Force. Amanda, will you make my world complete and marry me?”
For a few seconds after he stopped talking, Amanda could only hear her heart beating. She felt scared, nervous, overjoyed and, yet, oddly sure of her answer.
“Yes,” was all she could say and he took the ring off the tiramisu and put it on her finger. He pulled her up and kissed her before starting another dance to “I Cross My Heart.” At the end of the song, Lucas turned her to face the kitchen area and there were her parents and Juliana, who had a camera with her. She smiled at Lucas and then ran over to hug each of them. She was so glad he thought to include them in this special moment.
“I got all the pictures,” Juliana said. “The look on your face was priceless!”
Amanda fake punched Juliana’s arm but laughed along with her. Enough tiramisu was brought out for all of them, along with some champagne. Amanda looked down at her engagement ring and chased away the thoughts in her head that made her wonder whether she really knew what she was getting into. She would enjoy this night and think about that tomorrow.
Amanda and Lucas quickly decided on a summer wedding so Amanda wouldn’t have to miss teaching and they could go for a long two-week honeymoon to Hawaii. It was one of the few states Amanda hadn’t been to in all her summer travels with her parents. Lucas was in charge of planning it as he had been there a handful of times and could get some military discounts for places to stay. Amanda asked Juliana to be her maid of honor, and Lucas was trying to pin down either a cousin of his who still lived in South Carolina or Marc to be his best man.
Most of the wedding details were left to Amanda as Lucas was gone on trips frequently. Lucas visited both his parents during the week of Christmas to tell them the news of their engagement in person and ask them to come to the wedding. His dad quickly agreed, but his mom said she’d have to see what her plans were as it got closer. Juliana came back during her Christmas break before her last semester of her intensive to help Amanda plan more details and so they could go dress shopping together with Amanda’s mom. They spent a full day out, going to three different dress shops, including one in Seattle, and having brunch together. Juliana did the driving as there was actually a light dusting of snow that day, and she was used to driving in snow. Amanda thought the snow made the world look pretty and perfect.
“A white day for finding a white dress,” she said as they drove into Seattle. They
had eaten brunch there before heading to Brides Boutique. Amanda tried on three dresses at each of the Tacoma stores but found five options in Seattle. None of them struck her as “the dress” until she walked toward the mirror in the last dress. It was a solid white satin with a full Cinderella skirt. The sleeves were three-quarters length and there was a white rose embroidery around the bottom of the sleeves and the neckline. It was simple and elegant and perfect.
“Oh, Amanda, that dress fits you like a glove, and I think it’s the best one yet,” her mom said. “What do you think, Juliana?”
Juliana just smiled at Amanda and nodded her head. Amanda smiled back at her.
“This is my wedding dress,” she declared and then she spun around a few times and they all laughed. “Let’s get a picture together – just don’t let Lucas see it!”
They were able to take the dress home. Amanda’s mom would keep it at her house. They were offered a free alteration, if needed, before the wedding, so Amanda’s mom said she would note in her calendar to have Amanda try it on in May. Amanda’s hope was that it would either still fit or just need to be taken in a little. She had signed up for Zumba and spin classes at the local YMCA where the school district had an employee discount program. A few other teachers from the school went there, too, so she was making some other work friends that way. She knew a lot of her honeymoon would be spent in a swimsuit, so although she was on the skinny side, she wanted to make sure she looked fit when she got to Hawaii.
Lucas was gone to Europe for Valentine’s Day, and when he picked her up to take her out on a make-up date, he wasn’t in a good mood. She had learned over the months to let him talk about what was bothering him in his own time. When she started asking a lot of questions about his mood, he tended to close up even more, and it took so much longer for her to figure out what was bothering him. A few months ago when his roommate got sent to a military school and he had to find someone else to move in or pay the whole rent himself, she kept asking him questions and coming up with solutions. He snapped at her saying he couldn’t even get a thought straight in his own head. He apologized right away and then explained how he liked to spend time thinking through problems on his own before talking to someone about it. He promised to get better about including her, though.
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