by Roy Glenn
On one of my trips to Jacksonville, I was with Leon, having one of our usual conversations, when the subject turned to sex. “To be honest with you, Leon, I haven’t been with anybody since Lorenzo.”
“Why? If you were with Lo, I know you like sex.”
I looked at Leon, unsure how I felt about him knowing that about me. “Yes, I do like sex, but I love Lorenzo.”
“Lo is never getting out.”
“I know that. And I know he told me to move on with my life.”
“So, what’s up?”
“What do you mean, what’s up?”
“I mean, are you planning on being celibate for the rest of your life, or are you gonna let somebody play with that vicious campaign you call a body?” Leon asked and showed me that look he had reserved for the tittie twins. “You’re a young, beautiful woman. You have your whole life ahead of you. You shouldn’t deny yourself that pleasure, especially if you enjoy it.” I thought that Leon was about to try and talk up on some, but he got up and said good night. I watched Leon walk out of my bedroom and wondered if I would have said no.
When I got back from Jacksonville, Teena introduced me to a guy who went by the name of Smoke. She had been sizing him up for a little over a month because of the weight he was talking about. Smoke came through the door talking a kilo a week. That doubled my business right away.
Smoke became my best customer, but he was one freaky dude. One night, I was hanging out with Smoke and this white chick I knew named Gina. She was mad cool. Not mad cool for a white girl. Gina was just mad cool. Anyway, Smoke started telling us about all the freaky shit he’s done and would like to do. Then he tells us that he always wanted to have sex with two white women at same time—two blondes to be exact. “So what about it, Gina?” Smoke asked.
“What about what, Smoke?” Gina asked.
“What about you callin’ up one of your freaky, blonde girlfriends and y’all two come over to my place, and let’s do the damn thing.”
“Oh, please. I wouldn’t open my legs for you if you were the last swinging dick on the planet and I had to fuck you to stay alive.”
So, you could imagine my surprise when three months later, Smoke told me that him and Gina were getting married.
Which brings me to Cedric.
I had gone to the wedding with this guy I’d met named Omar. There was nothing going on between us, a fact that Omar hated, but he was such a lame that I couldn’t even point my mind in the direction of seeing him naked. However, since my talk with Leon, I’d been slowly coming around to the idea that I had moved on with every other part of my life, maybe I could move on with that part too. But not with Omar; we were just friends. Besides, he was good company sometimes, so I asked him to come to the wedding with me.
Anyway, I was watching Cedric watching me, and thought about how long it had been since I’d felt a man inside of me. Cedric was fine in a rugged sort of way, and I found myself fantasizing about having sex with him. Finally, he found somebody to walk him over to introduce me. Not wanting to disrespect Omar when they got to the table, Smoke introduced him to everybody sitting there. With eyes focused on me, Cedric politely spoke to everyone, taking his eyes off me only briefly. Finally Smoke got to me. “Omar, Nina, this is my former roommate, Cedric. Cedric, this is Omar Parker.”
“Nice to meet you,” Cedric said to Omar and held out his hand, but his eyes were still focused on me. Omar accepted the gesture without speaking. “Cedric, this is Nina Thomas,” Smoke said.
Our eyes locked. “It’s good to meet you, Ms. Thomas.”
“Please, call me Nina. And it’s good to met you, too, Cedric.”
“Maybe you’ll dance with me, Nina.”
The deejay started playing “Diary” by Alicia Keys, and I was really feeling him, so I said, “Sure.”
While we were dancing, Cedric asked, “So, what’s up with you and busta there?”
“Who, Omar? Nothing. We’ve been out a few times. He nice, but he’s … I don’t know.”
“Well, who would know? Should I ask him?”
“No, he’s probably already jealous of you.”
“Why?”
“Maybe you should ask him.” Cedric said, and started to pull away from me. “Come back here. I’m not through with you yet,” I said. “You were going to ask him, weren’t you?”
“Yeah. I need to know these things.”
“Why?”
“I’m just an informational kind of guy. I make a livin’ on information.” The song ended and I started to pull away from him. “Come back here. I’m not through with you yet.”
“Stay in My Corner” came on, and he drew me back to his chest. I liked the way it felt there in his arms. Cedric was tall; six three, maybe four. I looked into his eyes. He held me tighter. “I hate to be the one to break this to you, but that thing with you and that busta…”—Cedric frowned and shook his head—“It ain’t gonna last.”
“Oh really? What makes you say that, Cedric?”
“I don’t mean to sound overconfident, but I intend to take you from him. And I am prepared to spend all my time, all my energy, and all my resources to do it. Let’s get out of here now. We can find a nice, quiet place where we can talk. Get to know each other.”
“No, Cedric.”
“Tell me what you want to do and that’s what we’ll do. I just wanna talk to you, Nina. I wanna know everything you want me to know,” Cedric said with a confident smirk. “I wanna know what makes you cry, and what I can do to make you smile.”
“I don’t smile much these days,” I said, leaning back.
“Tell me why you don’t smile,” Cedric said and drew me back to his chest.
“Maybe I don’t have anything to smile about,” I flirted.
Cedric laughed out loud. “That’s why you need to be with me. Come on, let’s go.”
“No, Cedric.”
“Then meet me in an hour at The Shark Club.”
“No, Cedric,” I said, and wondered if he could tell that I wanted to go with him. I could feel how hard he was from dancing with me. “You don’t waste any time, do you?”
“When you don’t have a lotta time, you can’t waste it. So, what about tomorrow?”
“No, Cedric.” I looked at Omar. “Not tomorrow. Thursday seven o’clock.”
I hooked up with Cedric a few times, and the more I talked to him, the more I began to realize what an asshole he was. How could somebody that fine be such an asshole? In spite of that, he was kind of cool to hang out with. But even more, I was horny. It had been almost two years since Lorenzo went to jail and I was ready, but not in a rush. You know what I’m saying?
Cedric told me that he made his money robbing. You know, anyplace he could find cash on hand—hotels, restaurants; he said he even robbed a couple of post offices.
One night Cedric called and woke me up around 3 o’clock in the morning. “First of all, do you know what time it is?” I said, still half asleep, but mad as hell.
“Yeah, I know what time it is. It’s two fifty-eight. You ain’t got no other nigga over there, do you? ’Cause I’ll kill that muthafucka.”
I rolled my eyes. “What do you want, Cedric?”
“I wanna see you.”
“Have you lost your mind? Hell no, you ain’t comin’ over here at three o’clock in the morning.”
“I ain’t talkin’ about now. I mean when I get back.”
“Back? Back from where?”
“Ohio. I’m on my way back from Ohio.”
“What you doin’ in Ohio?” I don’t know why I asked. I really didn’t care. I just really wanted to go back to sleep.
“Me and my boy, Tilly, took a little road trip there to handle some business. I’m still in Ohio, just outside of Cleveland. But when I get back, I’ma come by there. I got something to show you.”
“Cedric, don’t come over here at the crack of dawn.”
“Relax. We got a long way to go. Pennsylvania’s a long state to ride through
.”
“Try callin’ before you come this time. You seem to have this bad habit of just showing up places, unannounced and uninvited,” I said and hung up the phone.
That next afternoon, Cedric was ringing my bell. No call—he just showed up. “I remember asking you to call before you came over here.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Cedric said and pushed his way past me. He walked into the dining room and poured twenty grand on the table.
“What’s that?”
“What does it look like, Nina? It’s money.”
“I know that. I was askin’ how much money and where did it come from?”
“It’s twenty grand, and it’s my share of the job I just did.”
I guess he was thinking that I was supposed to be impressed at the sight of twenty grand on the table. I’d seen Lorenzo with a lot more money than twenty grand. Shit, I was making much more than that in profit. But I knew a lot of women would be impressed. Impressed to the point of fucking him. In fact, I was sure when he left and did that same thing with another woman, that some woman’s clothes would fall off. But I know how fragile the male ego is, so I tried my best to act like that was more money than I had ever seen in my life. “That’s a lotta money, Cedric. What’d you have to do for it?”
“Let’s just say he’s no longer breathing.”
“Are you sayin’ y’all killed somebody for money?”
Cedric looked me dead in my face and said, “Nina, I will neither confirm nor deny anything like that,” with a slick half-grin on this face.
I didn’t say anything. It didn’t matter anyway. Cedric was on his way to being dropped into the friend zone. But what a shame to let a package like that, go to waste.
“Yo, Nina, check this out. I’m going back out of town.”
“Where you going this time?”
“Shippensburg, Pennsylvania.”
“For what? Another hit?” I laughed to myself.
“My boy been there surveying a group of dope boyz who’re sellin’ out of there. It’s just some little college town. Anyway, after a week of careful spying and surveillance, he runs up on the house, and now we goin’ to rob them.”
“You going down there to rob some dope boyz? It was nice knowing you.” I laughed out loud this time.
“No, Nina, you got it all wrong. These ain’t nothin’ but some college kids sellin’ drugs. From what Earl says, they’re unorganized, but they’re clockin’ big dollars.”
“Well, like I said, good luck.”
“I need a favor from you, baby girl.”
“What you need? And stop callin’ me that.”
“Whatever, baby girl.
Asshole.
“I need you to drive me, Earl, and Tilly out there.”
So, now I was looking at him thinking that he was crazy. I was not gonna be the wheelman for any robbery. But then I thought about it. I sat in that apartment all the time, watching Jerry Springer and those dumb judge shows. The only time I really went out was to make money, and then I was right back here. Maybe I did need to add a little excitement to my life. After Cedric assured me that nobody would be at the house when they hit it, I agreed to drive them.
When we got there, the three of them agreed that if anything went down, it was every man for himself. They went in the house, no loyalty to one another, and probably no trust between them either. While I was sitting there thinking how that was a prescription for failure, a car rolled into the driveway. I honked the horn as three men got out of the car and went inside. When I heard shooting followed by the sound of glass breaking, I looked up and saw two men jumping out of the second floor window. Remembering that it was every man for himself, I started the car and was about to leave, when I saw Cedric get up off the ground and start running toward the car. He got in and I floored it.
“What happened in there?” I asked as I drove.
“Shit got wild after you honked the horn. Me and Earl were upstairs searching the house, and Tilly was alone downstairs. We heard them yell something and then we heard the gunshots. I guess they shot Tilly and were coming up the stairs after us, so me and Earl jumped out the window.”
“What happened to Earl?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t get up. All I know is he didn’t get up!”
“Okay, you don’t have to yell at me. Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m all right,” Cedric said.
I looked at Cedric; he didn’t have a scratch on him. The whole thing excited me. I mean made-me-wet excited me. So when he asked me to have a drink with him when we got back to the city, I told him how the whole thing had me feeling. “But not tonight. I’ll meet you someplace tomorrow.”
We settled on a spot, and the next night I pulled into the parking lot looking around for Cedric’s car. I was early and wasn’t all that surprised when I didn’t see it. I went inside and headed straight for the bar. To my surprise, not only was Cedric sitting at the bar, but he was halfway through with his drink. I walked up behind him. “Hello, Cedric.”
It must have caught him off guard, because he almost spilled his drink.
“Did I scare you?”
“No, of course not, I meant to do that,” he said and smiled.
“Mind if I join you?”
“Sure, beautiful. Have a seat. I got here a little early, so I started without you. I knew you wouldn’t mind.”
I did think it was a little rude, but whatever. “No, as long as you give me an opportunity to catch up.” I sat down and motioned for the bartender. “Blue Muthafucka.” I turned to Cedric. “Would you like another?”
“Yeah, bring me another double gin and grapefruit juice. And can we see a menu, please?” The bartender handed us a menu and proceeded to his task.
“I didn’t see your car outside, so I didn’t think you were here yet.”
“I had a friend drop me off,” he said as he leaned toward me. “Hope you won’t mind taking me home.”
I smiled. “No, not at all,” I said, but I wasn’t feeling that either.
By the time I finished my third Blue Muthafucka, my judgment was impaired and I was feeling no pain. In simpler terms, I was drunk and so was Cedric. He was knocking down doubles like it was water. We weren’t sloppy, stumbling-over-our-words drunk, but we were both pretty far out there. Our conversation was getting more and more sexual in nature. We had talked about what we liked and disliked in the opposite sex, and naturally that led to what we liked sexually.
“What you thinking so hard about over there?” I asked.
“Thinking hard about you. Thinking if you only knew just how hard I was thinking about you, and how hard those thoughts were getting me. Thinking about getting out of here while I can still walk.”
“You ain’t drunk, are you?”
“No, not drunk, but I definitely got my buzz on.”
“Good, ’cause I was thinking the same thing.”
“Oh, really?” He smiled and leaned close to me. Close enough to smell the gin on his breath.
“That’s not what I’m thinking about,” I said.
“How do you know what I’m thinking about?” Cedric said and sat back in his chair.
“Hello! It’s that I-wanna-fuck-you-so-bad-it-hurts look. It’s written all over your face. I may have my buzz on too, but I’m not blind.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“No more than any other man. Pay the check. I’m ready to go.”
Cedric signaled for the bartender and paid the check. We walked out to the car together and got in. I knew what was going to happen next, but I started lying to myself at that point.
During the ride to his apartment, the lying continued. Those lies allowed me to live in the delusion that somehow, being this high and horny, that some bizarre scenario existed where I would drop Cedric off in front his building, say good night and go home. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t gonna fuck him; I was just gonna drop him off and go home.
I pulled up in front of his building and looke
d over at him. “You wanna come in for a drink?” Cedric asked me.
I sat there and thought for a second. “Okay, but just one. Then I gotta go,” I said and got out of the car. I followed Cedric to the door. I knew once I crossed the threshold that it was over.
He locked the door behind me and offered me a seat on the couch. At that point it was over for me. As far as I was concerned, Cedric was getting fucked that night.
I watched Cedric shaking a canister of whatever we were going to drink, and I thought about the consequences of what I was about to do. I would have to justify this to myself. Or could I just take a shower and shrug it off?
He gave me a glass and sat next to me on the couch. I took a sip of my drink. “Gin and tonic?”
“Shaken, not stirred,” he said, trying to sound like Bond.
I took another sip and looked at Cedric. He was looking at me. Staring, really. “What you looking at?” he asked and continued to stare.
“I could ask you the same question.”
“You could, but I asked you first.”
“Thinkin’ about the same thing you’re thinkin’ about.” I leaned forward.
“Really? Then what am I thinkin’?”
“You were wondering if you should kiss me.”
Cedric put down his glass. “You’re right.”
I could feel him getting harder as I tasted his tongue. I undressed him slowly, and Cedric removed my blouse and bra and made slow circles around my nipples as they begin to harden. I stroked his hardening dick with long, even strokes from tip to shaft. His body shook and he squeezed my nipples. My stroking became more intense, more focused.
I spread my legs. Cedric slid his hand along my thighs and gently fingered my clit. I felt it getting harder under his touch. I lay down on my stomach; Cedric sat beside me and ran his hands along my back, my ass, and then to my thighs. He entered me from behind. My pussy was so wet; he was so hard, and it felt so good inside me. I could barely control my passion. I began bucking my ass while he pounded against me. I yelled, “Fuck me harder!”
He did as I asked.
I felt the muscles inside me tighten around him and I came hard. Only problem was, so did he. Just that damn quick. I waited all this time to give somebody some, and this was all I got.
