“Karen?” It came out as a whisper. Joe was surprised he managed even that, but he couldn’t let Karen continue. Her eyes had turned sort of glassy and Joe was certain she wasn’t aware of the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. Her voice sounded far away and had taken on a strange tone. Her hands trembled as she rocked slowly, rhythmically, back and forth. It was as if she’d left their living room and was journeying through a terrifying nightmare only she could see.
“Karen?” Joe repeated.
Karen dropped her head and her shoulders slumped. She swiped at her eyes. “I’m sorry. That was more than you bargained for, wasn’t it? It’s just that I need you to understand I’m not trying to make you miserable. Sometimes I don’t know why I do and say the things I do and say. I can blame it on hormones, but that seems like the easy way out. I’m afraid I’m turning into someone I don’t know.”
Joe pulled her onto his lap. “It is the hormones. And the fact that you hardly sleep, hardly eat, and never have time to yourself. If I need to be your whipping boy for now, so be it. I can take it. I can understand the need for an outlet when you’re here alone with three kids all day. We’ll get past this just like we’ve gotten past everything else in our years together. We’re stronger than anything anyone can throw at us. Even a couple of six-week-old demanding little monsters. We’ll defeat them and come out on top. I guarantee it.”
Joe held Karen’s face in his hands and smiled at her. She smiled a tired smile in return.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you but know that I’m grateful and that I love you. No matter what happens.”
Joe started to speak, but Karen cut him off with a shake of her head.
“We were talking about Thursday night. I want you to come with me. I promised Annie I’d accept more help so Thursday seems like a good time to start. My mom and sister can handle the kids for a couple of hours. I’ll tell Shauna tomorrow.”
“And we’ll keep talking? You’ll tell me what’s bothering you before it gets to be a big thing? You’ll let me share the load?”
“I’ll try.” She leaned her forehead against his. Visions of their wedding photo filled her mind. She tried desperately to recapture the feeling. “I’ll try,” she repeated.
CHAPTER SEVEN
SHE’D AGREED TO the open house at Anchored Yoga and Spa. She’d spent a morning with Shauna and said all the right things and asked all the right questions. She’d made a real effort with Joe, an effort to talk, to joke, to try to get their lives back to normal. She’d even answered a few calls and texts from friends in an attempt to convince everyone all was well.
But she’d also planned. Surprisingly, by shifting her focus to Joe and their life, she found the answers she’d been searching so long for were suddenly obvious. For months she’d thought of little but finding a solution. Those months had yielded nothing but ideas for crazy schemes and desperate actions. And more heartache than she’d ever dreamed possible. Now, when she stopped thinking about it every waking moment, her plan was as clear as day. The details had fallen into place and all that was left to do was find the right time to put everything into motion.
She had a plan for that, as well, but she’d have to tread very carefully. Too eager, and everyone would suspect something. Too hesitant, and they’d never believe she was sincere. But she’d make it work. She had no choice.
And she’d do it on her own. She’d briefly considered asking for help from the one person she thought might actually be able to help without everyone else finding out, but had talked herself out of it almost as quickly as she’d considered it. Unless she failed on her own, she’d keep the entire matter to herself.
So, it had been two of the strangest days she’d had in a long time. Exhilarating and draining at the same time. While things with Joe were definitely better and the kids seemed calmer, no doubt picking up on the more relaxed atmosphere in the house, inside Karen was wound as tight as a watch. The adrenaline that pumped through her from morning until night left her with more energy than she knew what to do with, but it came with a price. She was exhausted, more so even than she’d been for the past six weeks, and hiding it was becoming impossible.
Just a little longer, she’d been telling herself. She needed to hold on just a little longer, then once she’d taken care of everything, she’d be able to relax. Her life would be hers again and she could move forward without looking over her shoulder.
She was confident.
She was a mess.
Yet, somehow when she walked through the doors of Anchored Yoga and Spa, she relaxed. Really, truly relaxed.
The smell hit her first. Eucalyptus, she was sure, some lavender, probably something else mixed in, but whatever it was, it was magic.
She breathed deeply and felt the tension melt from her shoulders and neck. She could have happily sat right there, inside the grand double doors soaking in the calming atmosphere in one of the sage green, high-backed chairs and it would have been enough to make the night worthwhile. Music played softly in the background. Karen didn’t recognize the tune or even the language, but it was as if the music spoke to her, telling her to slow down, to breathe, and that everything would be okay.
Karen took a step away from Joe, ready to sink into one of the chairs and study the artwork, a mixture of photos she recognized as Frank’s and some paintings that looked like originals, but when Shauna sprung out from behind the desk, threw her arms around Karen’s neck, smacked a kiss on her cheek, and did some sort of happy dance, Karen knew she’d never get away with just sitting.
“You’re here, you’re here! I was afraid something would come up, or you’d change your mind, but you’re here! Thank you. It means so much to me, I hope you know that.”
Karen couldn’t help but smile at Shauna’s enthusiasm. “You’re welcome. I’m looking forward to it. No yoga for me, though,” Karen added as she watched Cassie and Frank walk through the doors with yoga mats under their arms.
Shauna shook her head and waved her hands. “No, no yoga. Tonight is about relaxing. I have Trina waiting for you.” Shauna leaned close and whispered. “She’s our best. They’re all good, but she’s a genius. Honestly, I don’t know if we’d be ready to open if it weren’t for her.” Shauna nodded as her eyes looked Karen up and down. “You need Trina. You’ll feel like a different person when she’s done with you.”
If only, Karen thought to herself.
Shauna barely allowed Frank and Cassie a moment to say hello before she tried to get them moving.
“I’m going to put you two in the advanced class. Don’t whine, Frank,” Shauna said when Frank opened his mouth. “You’ll do fine.” Then she shrugged. “Well, maybe you won’t, but it’ll be just you two and Susan and Riley, so I figure you and Riley can torment one another. It will give Dalton a taste of what it will be like when he teaches kids’ classes.”
Cassie grinned and grabbed Frank’s hand. “Should be fun,” she said as she guided Frank around the corner toward one of the two yoga studios.
“Jake and Sam are already in the other studio with Mom and Dad and a few of my friends for a beginner class,” Shauna said. “Cort took Kate and Rose up for their facials and manicures, so that leaves you two. Are you ready?”
“Mom and Dad?” Joe chortled. “Seriously? Dad’s doing yoga?”
“He’s been promising me he’d try it. Tonight’s the night.”
“Maybe I should join that class. I’d kind of like to watch Dad attempt to stay on his feet.”
“Nope. I have a couple’s massage all set up for the two of you. Follow me.”
Joe didn’t move. “A what?”
“A couple’s massage.” Shauna shook her head. “I knew you wouldn’t look at the website. I went ahead and chose spa treatments for you. You can add whatever you want, depending how much time you have, but I’m getting you started with a massage.”
“I meant to look at your website but…”
Joe looked at Karen and pleade
d with his eyes. Karen just shrugged.
“You know, I think yoga might be a good idea. It’s been hard to find time to work out with the twins. Yeah, I should probably head to the yoga class,” Joe said.
“Upstairs.” Shauna pushed him toward the steps.
“You still haven’t told me what a couple’s massage is. It sounds, I don’t know…uncomfortable. Karen’s okay with me going to yoga. Right, Karen?”
Shauna stopped half-way up the stairs, then turned with her hands on her hips. She towered over Joe and her voice dropped an octave.
“Uncomfortable? What exactly do you think goes on here? Never mind. Don’t answer.” She rolled her eyes as she grabbed Joe’s hand. “Come on, you big baby. A couple’s massage means a massage for two people in the same room.”
“At the same time or we watch the other one get a massage, because I don’t know if I’d like that. No, I don’t think I would like that.”
“Oh, Joe, relax.” Karen laughed at her husband’s panicked expression. “It means there will be two massage therapists, and we’ll both get a massage at the same time. It will be nice.”
Joe still looked skeptical as they reached the top of the curved staircase where voices greeted them.
“I think some of that glitter would look good, don’t you?”
“What did you say, Rosie? Glitter? Where are you getting glitter? Are you putting it on your bosom? You got a rash the last time you tried that.”
“On my fingernails, you ninny. We’re getting manicures, remember?”
“I know we’re getting manicures, but I also know what you’ve done with glitter. Maybe I should get some too? What color?”
“I don’t care if you get glitter, Kathryn, and I don’t care what color. We don’t have to match.”
“Match? I don’t want to match. I want to know what color you’re getting so I can get a different one.”
Karen clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggle when Joe pressed a finger to his lips.
“Shhh. I don’t want them to know we’re here. The next thing you know, they’ll ask me to tell them which one looks better.” Joe shuddered. “I don’t want any part of that.”
Shauna pinched the bridge of her nose. “Cort insisted we invite them,” she whispered. “He finds them, and I quote, ‘delightful.’” She craned her neck and peered around the door, then beckoned with her hand. “Come on. No one’s looking.”
The three hustled past the door. More bickering followed them down the hall. Karen heard something about a ‘sexy hot pink’ and the beginnings of a discussion about tattoos.
Shauna led them to the room at the end of the hallway. A soft candle glow and more soothing music greeted them when Shauna opened the door. Karen drew in a quick breath as she tried to take in everything at once.
Plush white robes on padded hangers hung on the hooks fastened to the wall at the end of each of the two massage tables. The tables themselves were sheathed in layers of linens and blankets with pillows and rolled towels carefully placed on each. Deep, brown, leather chairs and matching ottomans were also ready with blankets and towels. Two bowl sinks with bronze waterfall faucets sat atop a long counter lined with a dizzying array of lotions, oils, and creams. Glasses sparkled next to a dispenser filled with delicious-looking fruit-infused water.
Three walls of the room were painted the spa’s signature sage green with the back wall covered in varying shades of brown and tan layered stone. Honey-colored bamboo flooring gleamed so brightly that Karen figured it likely she could see her reflection.
Shauna fidgeted alongside Karen.
“It’s gorgeous, Shauna. Perfect.”
Shauna let out a whoosh of breath. “Oh, good. But you’re sure? Is there anything missing? Do we need more candles? More towels? Are the lights too bright? Or not bright enough?”
“I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t change a thing.” Karen turned in a circle and inhaled deeply. “It looks beautiful, it smells heavenly, and I can hardly wait to drop onto that table. Look how thick the pad is!” Karen pressed down with her palm, then jerked it back and smoothed the wrinkled sheet, hating to spoil the perfection.
Shauna nodded, but still looked unsure. “Joe? What do you think?”
Joe stood looking around him, his forehead creased and a slight frown on his face.
“I’m not sure I get it. I’m supposed to lie on this table and have someone rub this stuff on me?” He gestured to the selection of oils and lotions. “And I’m supposed to like it?”
“Just give it a chance? Please?” Shauna begged. “I know you’ll like it. You’ll love it. You’ll be making an appointment for another visit before you leave tonight.”
“That’s another thing.” Joe waved a finger between the two tables. “Being in here with Karen is fine, I mean it’s good, it’s great, but say I do come back, and Karen and I can’t be here at the same time. I assume you’re going to tell me I have to take my clothes off for this...this thing. So, I’m supposed to lie eighteen inches away from a stranger? Or worse, somebody I know? What if it’s a coworker, or a student, or, or, I don’t know, Mom? With no clothes on?”
“Oh, for crying out loud. Don’t be such an idiot. You’re not going to be in here with someone you don’t know.”
While Joe’s voice had risen several octaves and had cracked by the time he was finished, Shauna’s took on a level of disdain Karen knew was reserved for her brothers when they acted particularly stupid.
Shauna walked to the wall and jabbed with her finger. “Here. A divider. We can close it and reconfigure the room if we have two people in here at the same time. Geez, I’m sure. We’re going to have you strip in front of a stranger then make small talk while lying naked under a sheet and getting massaged.” She shook her head in disgust.
“Oh. I guess that makes sense.” Joe went to examine the divider and Karen could see him mentally calculating whether it would close tightly enough that it would be impossible to see around.
“Any more questions?” Shauna narrowed her eyes and directed her inquiry at Joe.
“I think we should just get started and Joe can learn as he goes,” Karen said.
Shauna looked at her watch. “Yes, we should get started.” She muttered something to Joe as she passed him on her way to the door that resulted in a scowl from Joe and a pleased grin from Shauna.
“Karen, you can walk my hopeless brother through things, right?”
“I’ll make sure he does what he’s supposed to do.”
“Good. Trina and Alex should be about done with the reflexology massages they’re giving a couple of my friends. They’ll take a short break. That’ll give you two a little time to relax, have some water, and get ready. Plan on them in about twenty minutes.”
“Thanks, Shauna,” Karen said.
“Yeah, thanks,” Joe echoed.
Shauna eyed him for a moment. “Try to enjoy it, Joe. And try not to be an idiot.”
As the door closed behind Shauna, Karen bit her lip and turned to Joe. “Are you ready?”
“I have no idea.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“Alex. Do you think that’s a guy? I don’t know about having a guy massage me.”
“I don’t know if Alex is male or female, but it doesn’t matter. Let’s get ready.”
“What do I do?”
“Undress, grab a robe, some water, sit in one of these chairs, put your feet up, and relax.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it. For now.”
“For now. That’s what I’m afraid of.”
But Joe began undressing, using the hangers to neatly hang his clothes with his shoes lined up precisely underneath. He cinched the belt of the robe around his waist as Karen was reaching for her robe.
“Maybe this isn’t so bad after all,” Joe said as he wiggled his eyebrows and wrapped his arms around Karen’s waist before she could get her robe in place.
She slapped his hands away. “Joe!”
“Shauna said we have twenty minutes.”
“I think she was also clear on what goes on here. And what doesn’t.” Karen grinned and backed away, securing her robe. “Sit down and I’ll get you some water.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“What?”
“You’re beautiful. I don’t tell you often enough.”
“I’m a mess.”
Karen smoothed a hand over her hair, then tightened the belt of the robe before filling two glasses and handing one to Joe. She dropped into the vacant chair and let her head fall back on a sigh. Joe set his water on the table between them, then lifted Karen’s glass from her hand and set it down, as well. He took her hand in his.
“You are beautiful.”
“Oh, Joe, thank you, but I hardly have time to comb my hair these days much less put on make-up or worry about what I’m wearing. Not that any of my clothes actually fit, but—”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing make-up or if you’re wearing my old sweatshirt. It’s you that’s beautiful, not the clothes or the make-up. I want you to know that, and I want you to know how happy and thankful I am that you’re my wife.”
Karen sat up in her chair. “Joe, you’re not getting out of this.” She shook her head at his feigned confusion. “Don’t think I don’t see right through you. It’s important to Shauna. We haven’t been here to help her get ready. This is the least we can do. Besides, it is supposed to be enjoyable. You need to stop acting like you’re being tortured.”
Joe puffed out a breath. “Fine. Fine. I’ll do it. I just don’t think it’s exactly normal to have someone I don’t know rub oil on me.” His eyes darted to the counter and Karen saw him fight a shudder. “But the part about you being beautiful and me being crazy in love with you was the truth. Just so you know.”
“Thank you.” Karen leaned back again and put up her feet. “Try the water. It’s amazing. And try to relax.”
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