My phone flashes and I hop to my feet. “Sorry. Prescott is pulling up outside.” I turn to Brody, who I hope is the correct triplet. “Again, thank you very much for breakfast. It was wonderful.”
“No problem.” Brody inclines his head, accepting my compliment.
“Here, I’ll go with you.” Asher rises to his feet.
I never told Asher about Prescott. After the whole triplet fiasco, the last thing I want is for Asher to discover my little secret.
Not that it’s a secret. I simply prefer not to open old wounds. I want my past to stay in the past. Asher and I are too new to go ruining things with bad memories. I don’t want him to feel sorry for me. As a result, we haven’t had those heart-to-heart talks couples usually have.
The secrets I hold are big enough to blow us apart.
Asher walks with me to the front of the house. Behind us, his mother tells the boys to clean up. I love their tight familial bond. My hand flies to my chest. The knot which suddenly forms, all the pain and agony, it’s too much. I pull to a stop and Asher nearly runs me down.
“You okay?” He grips my arm. His warm eyes simmer with concern.
“Yeah, it’s just, I wanted to explain Prescott to you before you meet.”
“Okay.” He releases my arm and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m all ears.” Asher looks suddenly vulnerable.
“It’s a long story, and this isn’t the best time, but Prescott is special to me.”
“As in how special?” He shifts foot to foot.
“Not special like that.” God, not like that. “It’s just…” God, how do I begin?
I suppose the beginning is the best place.
“I grew up with his son. We dated.” I did far more than that.
“Okay? I hear past tense, so you’re not getting ready to tell me you’re seeing someone else.” Asher keeps his tone light, but there’s an edge of concern laced through his words. “After what we did last night, that wouldn’t be cool.”
Yes, about last night.
God, last night was wonderful.
Anything I had with Justin doesn’t hold a candle to what happened between Asher and I.
There is no comparison. With Justin, I felt comfortable. With Asher, I feel as if I’m hanging on a precipice. One wrong move and everything will come crashing down.
But.
If I can hold on.
If I can hang on, all my dreams will come true.
I know it’s corny. It’s corny as hell.
I could say Asher and I are like oil and water. Except, we’re not. We’re more like a match and gasoline, a combustible event ready to set off a firestorm.
Simply put, Asher and I make sense.
Not that I’m minimizing Justin’s life, or his death.
For over half my life, Justin was my everything, but that was only because I never knew what everything could be. I didn’t know I’d been living a lie.
I dip my head, unwilling to look Asher in the eye. “I’m not taken, but I failed to tell you something pretty important.”
“I’m all ears.” Asher’s expression is intense. Open, unapologetic, he’s ready for whatever I throw at him. I don’t deserve this level of trust. I’m going to destroy him with the next words out of my mouth. He deserves more, but we don’t have much time.
“This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, but I don’t want you to hear it from Prescott instead of me.” I’m stammering and I don’t know how to stop. The words just flow out of me “There’s a reason I was out hiking that day.”
The day he found me.
The day he rescued me.
The day everything changed.
He’s silent and waits for me to continue. It’s hard to break it down and terribly complicated. Asher deserves a more thoughtful conversation.
“I…” Shit, there’s no time for what I want to say. “Shit.”
I’m firing on one cylinder here. Hell, I’m lucky if one cylinder is the best I can give him.
He pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me. “It’s okay, luv. You don’t have to tell me, but if you need to know, it’s not going to change how I feel about you, and I have a feeling it’s not going to change how you feel about me. As long as that’s the truth, you tell me when you’re ready. Okay?”
His words are a pronouncement of truth. Only, I don’t know if I can honor his truth.
“This will break us,” I say.
“You certain about that?”
Yes.
“Where’s your faith?” He says it like it’s nothing; a foregone conclusion.
I have no faith. All I have is the universe’s sick joke: find happiness and the universe will rip it from you in the most horrific way possible.
But I’m not inclined to get into a philosophical argument with Asher.
“My faith is stretched thin. It’s stretched very thin.” I drag my fingers through my hair. “This isn’t fair, to you or to me, but it is what it is. If it means anything to you, it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
“Then that’s all that matters.” He gives a chin bump. “It looks like they’re here.”
“Shit.” I’m not ready for this. I grip his hand. “Please, don’t judge me.”
“Never.” He says it as if it’s gospel, but I’m a bit more hesitant. I’m giving him every opportunity to walk away.
Why isn’t he taking it?
I don’t get it. Any sane man would read the red flags I’m raising and take a step back.
Instead, Asher is right by my side.
How the hell do I process this?
Asher cups my chin and turns to face me. “If I can get past you groping my brothers, then we can handle whatever you’re worried about. In the end, it’s just life. As silly and foolish as that is…it’s just life. And if not that, you need to know I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you. Not for the short haul, not for the easy and fun times, but for the hard road and the difficult climbs. I’m committed to you, Evelyn. You’re not ready to know how thoroughly I’m committed, but know that I’m not turning my back on you.”
Holy hellfire, my ovaries may have just exploded. Not sure if I can fall anymore head over heels, I tumble into the oblivion Asher promises and give up all hope.
My darkest secrets? The most precious pieces of who I am? They all spill into the space between us. He will either stand with me or run.
Either choice is fine by me, but I’m hopeful he will stand firm.
It’s been far too long since I’ve had an anchor which I can depend upon.
Prescott and Gracie—God I love them—but they aren’t enough to see me through the gaping emptiness in my heart.
I can only bridge that distance by exposing my vulnerabilities. I do that now, hoping Asher will catch me, hold me, and carry me through to the other side. I’m well aware this is a crash and burn kind of moment.
But, I’m not afraid of the flames. Into this, I speak the truth Asher needs to know.
“I grew up with Justin. He’s Prescott’s son. We dated. He proposed. I said yes. Prescott is more than just my lawyer. He’s an old family friend and was going to be my father-in-law.” I blurt out the words in one rush of breath, because there’s no way Prescott is going to be the one who tells Asher how we know each other.
Asher doesn’t blink. “What happened with Justin?” His tone is level, controlled, but tight with emotion.
“He died.” That knot in my chest tightens.
The love of my life died a tragic death, and I thought that was what would hurt the most. It isn’t.
Far from it.
The worst part of Justin’s death is the man standing in front of me.
Because I know.
Justin was nothing but the shadow of true love. He was a comfortable excuse, an easy lie I convinced myself was the truth. He was everything which shackled me to the perfect life.
He wasn’t the breath of life, not like Asher. I would have suffocated in that version of my life.
It’s a shame death taught me how to live. I never would have known this cosmic truth if Justin hadn’t died and I hadn’t met Asher.
“Shit, Evelyn. I’m so sorry.” Asher sweeps the ground with his foot, looking guilty for something he has no control over.
“It’s okay.” I glance out the window.
Prescott and Gracie are out of the car and looking around. They expect me to meet them outside. “There’s more.”
So much more.
“It’s okay, luv.” He takes my hand in his. “I’m here for you.”
But I’m not sure that he is. He’s standing differently, stiffer. Tension girds his frame and the smile on his face feels strained and a little bit fake.
Not that I blame him. This is so much worse than me accidentally feeling up his brothers. I just unloaded what amounts to a nuclear bomb by telling him I was in love with another man. But that’s the thing. I wasn’t, but how do I explain that to Asher?
Asher opens the door as if none of this means anything. “Let’s greet your guests.”
Greet my guests?
That’s all he’s going to say?
He ushers me outside and hangs back on the covered porch while I approach Prescott alone.
I feel like a recalcitrant child caught in a web of lies. Which is totally not true. I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m the victim. An innocent bystander affected by a tragic accident.
“Gracie, it’s so nice to see you.” My wooden arms wrap around her.
Gracie kisses both my cheeks and hugs me tight to her bosom. “We’ve been so worried about you, love.”
I clasp her tight then release her to face Prescott. We have other words to share.
“Evie…” His tone is solid, smooth, nonjudgmental, but he’s not pleased with me.
“Hi.” I don’t hug Prescott. Instead, I turn to Asher. “I’d like to introduce my…”
How do I navigate this? Do I introduce him as a friend? A lover? I’m supposed to be married to their son. How do I insert another man into that equation?
Asher takes care of the problem for me. “Hi, I’m Asher La Rouge. I’m the one who brought Evelyn out of the fire.”
“And continue to take care of her, it seems.” Prescott shakes Asher’s hand. “Thank you for looking out for our Evie.” He’s polite, but definitely asserting his dominance.
Asher lets it roll right over him. “Of course, it’s been my pleasure.”
“Well, we appreciate everything you’ve done. Now Evie, I’ve rented you a place to stay in town. I’ve arranged for a meeting with the judge, and I’m hopeful we can expedite your arraignment. I think we should take some time and discuss your case before I speak with him.” My almost father-in-law doesn’t waste time. He’s a brilliant defense attorney. I’m incredibly fortunate to have him on my side, but I don’t like how he’s taking over.
“Evelyn is welcome to stay here,” Asher says.
“That’s incredibly considerate, but it’s best if she keeps a place for herself. We need to manage her public image.” Prescott dismisses Asher’s offer.
I really want to say something, but I’ve seen Prescott work his cases. Image is everything. It shouldn’t be, but it is. Cases should be decided by the preponderance of the evidence, but Prescott understands how juries work. He’s not so subtlety telling me I need to keep my nose clean and project a pristine image. That’s not going to happen if I’m seen shacking up with the firefighter that rescued me. Everything in my life needs to be beyond reproach.
For this reason only, I concede to Prescott’s plans.
I grip Asher’s hand. “Thanks for letting me stay last night.”
“You’re welcome to continue staying here. No need to rent a room in town. The guest room is yours.” He says that for Prescott’s benefit, but we both know I won’t be staying in any guest room.
“I’ve already rented the house. We should get going. I have a meeting with Judge Simon at noon, and I don’t want to keep him waiting. Evie, why don’t you grab your things?”
“There’s not much to grab. I lost everything in the fire.”
“Oh, sweetie, that’s horrible.” Gracie grabs my hands. Her eyes light up with excitement. “That just means we get to go shopping. Now, while Prescott is talking with the judge, you and I can hit the stores. I’ve been itching for a shopping trip, and you can definitely use some retail therapy. We’ll get you something nice. None of that wretched hiking gear,” she continues on, pulling me toward the car.
Their driver stands by the passenger side door, tall, impassive, and unmoving until Gracie draws close. Before I know it, he opens the door and I’m staring inside the luxurious car. I pull to a stop and disengage myself from Gracie’s overly eager grip.
“I need to go back inside, grab my purse, and say my goodbyes.” There’s no way I’m going to leave Asher without a proper goodbye. In many ways, I feel as if Prescott is pulling me away from Asher. Which he is, but only for my own good.
I hate how that sounds.
But that’s the thing with Prescott, he thinks he knows what’s best for me. He thought so after the accident, but I went and did my own thing. It’s my belief he’s hanging on to me. I lost my fiancé in the accident, along with my entire family. He lost his son.
Holding on to me, I believe, is his way of holding onto his son. I was a day away from becoming his daughter-in-law and I don’t think he’s moved on.
That’s how I got myself into my current situation. I needed space and he smothered me with paternalistic love. Why he did it is something I understand, intellectually, but emotionally it’s too much. He tried stepping into my father’s shoes too soon when my grief was too raw.
For now, I’ll have to play along with his plans, at least a little, if only because he really is a fantastic criminal defense attorney. I’m not going to bite that gift horse in the mouth.
“I’ll be right back.” I pull away from Gracie and head back to the house.
“Would the two of you like to come inside?” Asher offers his hospitality. “We were just finishing breakfast, but there’s plenty to share.”
“We ate on the way over,” Prescott says. “We’ll wait here.”
Asher grabs my hand and tugs me inside. The moment the door closes, he spins around. “He’s a tough nut to crack.”
“You have no idea.”
“You really want to leave? You can stay here. You don’t have to go.”
“I know, but he’s good at what he does. It may not make sense, but he knows what he’s doing. I guess he wants to show me off as the girl next door, someone everyone loves, and who would never in a million years set a forest fire.”
“Ah, I see, but you can still stay here. The thought of you all the way in town is killing me, especially when I want more time to savor you. We didn’t exactly take our time last night.”
“Hun, what’s going on? Who is that outside?” Abbie joins us from the kitchen and peers outside.
“An old family friend,” I say. “He’s going to be helping me out.”
“Her old family friend is a criminal defense attorney,” Asher explains. “And he’s stealing my girl.”
She looks between us, her gaze zeroing in on our interlocked fingers. “I see. Did you invite them in? We have plenty to share.”
“I did.”
“Hmm.” Her mouth gives a little disapproving twist.
“They already ate and I think they’re working on a timeline.” I try to explain, but the frown on her face deepens. “He wants to get me settled before he meets with the judge.”
“Well, if that’s the case, I suppose it makes sense. If you don’t mind, while you help Evelyn get her things, I’ll just go outside and introduce myself.” Asher’s mother gives him a wink and Asher groans beside me.
“Behave,” he says.
“Honey, I always behave.” With that, she leaves and marches across the porch, all smiles and hugs, as she greets Prescott and Gracie. Gracie returns her hug enthus
iastically while Prescott returns Abbie’s hug stiff as a board.
“Come on.” I pull Asher down the hall. “I need to get my purse.”
Our goodbye is heated as he presses me against the wall of his room. I’m reminded about what he did to me up in the hallway and find it difficult to head back outside with Prescott. Asher echoes my sentiments, but we don’t have time for a hasty fuck. I leave Asher hard and needy, while I’m more than a little out of breath.
19
Asher
I get the rationale behind Prescott’s plan. He’s grooming Evelyn’s public image, but damn if I don’t want to put my fist in his face for taking her away. I watch them leave, tires crunching over the drive, with my mother standing by my side, and a profound ache throbbing in my heart.
My mother takes my hand. “She’s special, isn’t she.”
“She is—more than makes sense.” I take a deep inhale and blow it out slow. It does nothing to ease the ache.
“Sometimes, that’s the best kind of love.”
“I didn’t say I’m in love with her.”
“Hun, you didn’t have to.” She regards me with a pensive expression. “It was like that with your father. When you know, you know, and there’s jack shit you can do to stop it.”
“Mom!”
“Oh, just because I’m old doesn’t mean I can’t swear.”
“You yell at us when we do.”
“Parental prerogative. Anyhow, if that girl is special, which I believe she is, do what you can to help her, give her space if she needs it. If she feels the same, there won’t be anything the two of you can do to stop the firestorm from happening between you.”
“Firestorm?”
“An all-consuming love. I see the spark of it in your eyes, and in hers when she looks at you.”
I’ve heard my parents story my entire life, a whirlwind romance ending in marriage less than three weeks later. They were married for twenty-one years before a tragic accident took him from us. It’s been nearly eight years since he passed and she’s never looked at another man. Her love runs that deep.
I understand her grief, but my mother is a woman with a big heart. She deserves a second chance at love.
Firestorm: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World) Page 17
