by M. A. Owens
“I’d love to, Colonel.”
He gave his men the word and they knocked the door wide open. Bones and I walked in and turned the place upside down. I missed how easy this used to be when I was on the force. Get a warrant and then kick in doors and flip tables until you found what you were looking for. Super easy and super legal. Nowadays, when I do this sort of thing as a private detective, I have to be sneaky and quiet. And it’s not exactly legal.
We found a box pushed under the bed and pulled it out. We ripped open the top and, sure enough, right there with labels and all were the original reels. Now that was something else. There just wasn’t any getting out of this. Bones gave me a big pat on the shoulder and we walked out. The press was waiting, snapping pictures as we exited. Bones gave them an interview and pulled me in for a photo op. I wasn’t under the impression that turning it down was an option, so I didn't try. I showed them my pearly whites and gave them my best smile. I turned to leave after everyone got their fill.
“Stop by around lunchtime and see me tomorrow at my office,” Bones said.
I turned around to see who Bones was talking to; it was me.
“Sir?”
“Can you make it?”
“Well, sure. I can make it.”
“Good, see you then.”
What had I just gotten myself into?
30
I rang up Brutus to tell him the good news. He said Marty had already been picked up and taken for a quick stop by the hospital. He had to get his jaw wired before heading to the station to get booked. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer dog.
Brutus also said he would reopen his theater since Mr. B now accepted the fact that he wasn’t responsible, and he told me it would be alright if I spent another night at the hotel on the theater's dime. He’d have the money for completing the case deposited into my account.
I headed back to the hotel to get some sleep, but I took a dip in the hot tub first while having a nice T-Bone to top it off. When room service brought my dinner, there were two steaks on the tray. I asked her what the big idea was and if she was trying to make me fat. She said another gentleman would join me for dinner in my room. As is his style, Rick was already waiting for me there, again sporting his suit rather than the ridiculous bandit getup. I put our tray down on the table and joined him.
“Did everything go according to plan, Rick?”
“I think you give me more credit than I deserve here, detective. Everything went a lot better than I had planned. Those dogs and cats rigging the slot machines, for example. Had no idea!”
“So, did you get your guy then?”
“While Marty definitely has a little clout in the organization, he’s small fries compared to who we’re really after.”
“What really needs to change first is the police here. They’re more crooked than the criminals.”
His smile brightened, if such a thing was even possible. “Then you'll really like the second half of our plan.”
“Oh, I somehow doubt that. Spill it.”
“It goes something like this: tomorrow you'll read the paper. If I’m right, you'll see a big print up on the front page featuring you and Colonel Bones. Bones loves that kind of thing. Makes him look great to Mr. B. And because he likes the attention so much, he also likes you. He thinks you’re leaving tomorrow. Did he ask you to stop by and see him before you did?”
“In fact, he did. I’m pretty sure I see where this is going and I don’t like it.”
“He'll ask you to rejoin the force tomorrow, and most likely at your previous rank. You’ll agree. You’ll do it and play along until a plan or opportunity presents itself to expose Bones and his cops in some huge way they can't easily cover up. Mr. B really depends on the public thinking the police is on their side. A lot of us already know better, but it might surprise you how many have no clue this is happening. Bones works closely with the Chief of Police. If we can blow the cover on Bones, we can also jeopardize the chief’s position. You worked there for a time. I’m sure you still know a few good cops, and a good cop in the position of chief would make all the difference.”
“The answer is no,” I replied.
“No?”
“That’s right. No. I turned down a good cop’s offer to join back up with the force in Blue District. So, why would I join up with some corrupt puppet here? Besides, I was on the inside when things were already bad. Do you know the kinds of things I'll probably have to do in order not to blow my cover? The chief will definitely remember me. He'll want me tested to see if I’ve really changed. He'll insist I do terrible things to good dogs and cats, and that crosses a line for me. Would you be willing to do it?”
His smile disappeared in a flash. “I would do whatever it took.” He leaned in close, locking eyes with me. “You understand that, detective? Whatever it took.”
I got the feeling Rick had more at stake here than I initially thought. This wasn’t just a game to him. Well, it wasn’t just a game to me either. I stood up, our eyes still locked.
“The answer is no. Pay me whatever you think is fair and find someone else to be your stooge. Now if you’ll be so kind as to leave me in peace while I enjoy my steak.”
“Trigger, you’re making a big mistake. You have a chance to do some real good here. The kind of good you may never have the chance to do again. You’re a brilliant detective. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life helping grandmas find their lost house keys for pocket change? So, you don’t want to make any powerful enemies anymore. I get that, but let me tell you one thing. The number of enemies you have in this city is directly related to the number of good deeds you’ve done. The more powerful those enemies are, the more powerful a force of good must be. Are you really going to put your own selfish feel-good morals above the lives of the many people who live here? Or is it that you’ve just become a coward?”
I flipped the table to the side, with steaks and plates and cutlery crashing to the floor. “Get out!” I screamed.
He adjusted his shirt collar, stood up and walked slowly toward the door. He stopped just before leaving, looking back at me over his shoulder. “Just give it some thought.”
31
I tossed and turned in my sleep, finding that no rest or comfort would come. But that dream came back again. The nightmare, to be more specific. It was a day I’d never forget.
“Let it go, Lieutenant. If you go through with this, it’ll be your badge.”
“Buzz off, Patches. Go lick the chief’s boots some more. It’s what you’re good at.”
“You don’t get it, Trigger. When you’re making omelets, you gotta break some eggs. I know how you feel, but you have to let this one go, pal.”
“We ain’t pals, and I said buzz off. He beat that poor dame half to death just for turning him down and throwing in a few insults. I don’t give a rat’s tail that he’s the mayor’s pup, Patches. I don’t care if he’s the mayor himself. Nobody’s above the law.”
“If you do this, Trigger, then any chance you had of changing anything within the department is gone. It’s over. It’ll be a long time before this blows over, even if you somehow manage to keep the badge. The chief will never trust you with authority again. You’re a lieutenant, and high on the list to make colonel. If you keep your nose clean in the department, you’ll be ready to make a grab for chief the first opportunity something happens. Imagine what you could do then.”
“Yeah? And what’s it worth if I have to be just as bad as the chief to get there? You think this dame will remember what happened and be grateful we sat on our tails and played the long game?”
He didn’t answer. He looked down at his feet, trying to find the words to make his point, but I interrupted the process.
“Get out of my way. If you’ve not made any enemies, then you’ve never done the right thing when it mattered. So long, Patches. Good luck on the inside.”
I walked past him and into the next room where several officers had heard what I was planning to
do. They were waiting, ready to follow me. I said a few words about how the law must apply to all equally, or it wasn’t the law at all. To my surprise, the room erupted in thunderous applause. After that, we set out for the mayor’s son’s house.
We were told we weren’t allowed back into Capitol District until this whole charade blew over, but the news hadn’t spread yet. It might’ve also been the fact that we looked imposing marching down the street the way we did. Maybe the Capitol District police knew they were supposed to stop us but didn’t. Maybe they agreed with what we stood for and didn’t want to get in the way.
I knocked on his door.
“Police! Open up!”
A young Collie came to the door. “Sure, I don’t remember inviting you to the party, but come on in. Just behave while you’re here or dad won't be happy.”
He was confident that nothing would happen to him. So self-assured he didn’t even consider why we were there. The chief was such buddies with the mayor and Mr. B that he assumed we were actually there to party with him.
I signaled for my boys to come inside with me. I followed him to his chair in the back of the room which he’d fashioned to look like a throne. Music was playing; the room was full of young somebodies having a good time.
“Turn off the music.”
“What? Why?”
I pointed to one of my officers, then to the radio. “Turn it off.” He walked over and switched off the music.
“Who do you think you are?”
“I’m Lieutenant Trigger of the ACPD. Are you Jimmy?”
“I prefer to be called Jimmy Jim. It’s what all my friends call me.” He laughs, and all the other somebodies laugh on cue.
“Jimmy Jim.” I smiled. ”You’re under arrest for felony aggravated assault.”
He stood up, a big grin on his face. “Sorry, Lieutenant. You and your men must have some outdated information.”
“Come quietly, or I’ll have to embarrass you in front of your fancy friends here, but given the grins on their faces, maybe that’s something they would like to see.”
He lashed out, screaming at me so hard I could feel his spittle hitting me on the face. “You wait until my father-”
I took my open paw and slapped him across the face. The room went silent and grins turned to frowns. He looked as if he was about to sob, his bottom lip quivering.
“Don’t let me interrupt, Jimmy Jim. You were saying?”
He half-turned his head away while still looking at me, a tear falling down his cheek. His lip was still quivering and he said nothing.
“Come on, tough guy. Finish what you were about to say. Something about your father. What? Cat got your tongue?”
Again, he stood silent, trembling.
I motioned to the officer closest. “Cuff him. Hopefully he’ll resist. If he does, make sure to use whatever force you deem necessary.”
Jimmy didn’t resist. We walked him all the way back through Capitol District with a raucous audience most of the way.
As soon as we got to the station, Jimmy was promptly released and given a personal apology from the chief, and I was ”asked” to hand in my badge. Patches made a case for the other boys, saying they were just following orders (like I should’ve been), so they got off with a slap on the paw. One of the hardest lessons I ever learned with the ACPD was what it meant to be real police.
I woke up in a cold sweat a lot earlier than I had intended, but I knew there’d be no going back to sleep. Rick’s words kept buzzing around in my head. In the time that had passed, it seemed I wasn’t as sure of myself anymore on the right or wrong answer. I think it was probably because there was no right or wrong answer. Maybe it was time to try things their way.
32
I walked down to the Adria police precinct and told the receptionist I was there to see Bones. This place looked more like the headquarters of a bank too big to fail than a police station; waxed tile floors, fancy lights lining the top edge of the wall, big windows everywhere, spiraling metal staircases, and, of course, the giant token fountain in the middle of the lobby. What a joke.
The receptionist showed me to his office. It made Brutus’s office look like mine by comparison. There was a mini golf setup and all. Next I would probably see the top dogs light their cigars with hundred-dollar bills. Made sense, though. The police here were essential to Mr. B and making his operation run smoothly. Maybe they were even more critical to Mr. B’s enterprise than I initially thought.
“Trigger, glad you could make it,” Bones said, waving me in.
“Nice office you’ve got here,” I replied.
“You like it? There’s one almost as nice as this empty down the hall.”
“You don’t say?”
“You know, I heard about that little stunt you pulled a while back over in the Capitol District.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I don’t really care, but the chief’s got a long memory. You hear me?”
I grunted in affirmation.
“You’ve made me look great to some very important people over the last couple of days. I like that. Mr. B had some nice gifts sent over for me to show his gratitude. I even took it upon myself to have a suit sized for you. I hope you don’t mind. I’m usually a good judge of measurements.” He held up the suit in front of me before handing it over.
“Don’t mind at all. Could use another suit. This'll actually be the nicest set of threads I’ve ever owned, in fact.”
“It’s only fair you get something given the role you played. There’s a lot more where that came from if you do as you’re expected to do. In fact, it’s almost a sure bet I’ll make chief when that position opens again. That’ll leave a nice little opening here,” he said.
“Yeah, I suppose the chief’s getting up there in years.”
“Well, as I’m sure you’re aware, old age isn’t the only thing that can help the chief find his way out of his position. Disappointing Mr. B is the quickest way to find yourself out of anything. This mortal coil included. What would you say to rejoining the force? The chief advised against it, but since Mr. B has been so pleased with me lately, he’s afraid to outright tell me no. You’ve got a lot of talent and experience, so I wouldn’t expect you to come on as just some regular cop and start over. You can come back as a lieutenant. You could be my right-paw dog.
“Keep making me look good and when I’m the chief, you can be Colonel in Adria. To be honest, that position is just about as good. You get to work directly with Mr. B, living as good and easy a life as you could imagine. Like I said before, all you have to do is what you’re told and when you’re told to do it. That part’s not as bad as it sounds. Most dogs and cats here fall in line with very little persuasion. However, occasionally you may need to remind the residents who really runs this place in person. Give ‘em a little physical persuasion. Nobody holds out forever if you make the right threats and push the right buttons. Everyone has their price, as they say.”
“You know, I really am tired of sticking my neck out all the time for folks who don’t appreciate it. I tried the straight and narrow. I tried taking a stand and seeing what would change. Then I came to realize that what really needed to change was me. I was one of the best detectives the department ever had. Where did that land me? Slumming it in Black District, barely making enough to cover the bills. I’ll take you up on that offer. Sign me up.” Bones would have to be more delusional than I thought to buy that mediocre performance, but given his relaxed expression I hit home plate.
“Good. I’m glad to hear it. I want you to keep in mind what I said though. The fastest way to living with regret for the rest of your very short life is to disappoint Mr. B. For you, disappointing me is basically the same thing. Is that crystal?”
“Yes, sir.”
Bones called HQ and had the chief add me to the roster: Lieutenant Trigger. I had to admit that it had a nice ring to it. He issued me a badge and one of those fancy electric batons the police in Adria wielded. I guess this
was a smaller version of what those dogs at the gate were using. You press a button, then it makes this awful crackling sound. They say it’s enough to deter almost anyone without even having to use it. As per standard procedure, I had to take a hit from it before being officially issued one. As soon as it touched me, every muscle in my body contracted and burned and I toppled over like a little Chihuahua statue. When I came to, we all had a good laugh about it.
Shortly after I'd settled into my new office, a buzz came from the intercom.
“Lieutenant, Colonel Patches would like to speak with you.”
“Put him through.”
“Lieutenant Trigger speaking.”
“Trigger, what do you think you’re doing? I saw the roster update. I offered to get you hired back. What’s the big idea?”
“Well, it’s a lot nicer here in Adria, Colonel.”
“What, did you suddenly find yourself attracted to the stink of corruption? I gotta tell you, you may not think what you did with the mayor’s son that day did any good. You’d be wrong. People still talk about that here. It gives them hope. They know what a good cop looks like.”
“Those boys who work for you, they still do,” I replied. “Now, I need to be going if there are no other pressing matters. I have a lot of work to do. Wish me luck.”
“You better be on your toes, Trigger. No amount of luck can help you out of the predicament you’ve gotten yourself in now.”
After he hung up, I wondered whether he realized what was really going on. Couldn’t be sure, but he sounded angry. I laughed aloud. Guess it didn’t really make much difference. Like he said, no amount of luck would get me through this. I’d have to be on my toes.
33
The coming weeks were a real challenge. I realized the Adria police force was mainly a shakedown racket that worked for Mr. B directly. Bones wasn’t exaggerating when he said I needed to do exactly what I was told to do, exactly when I was told to do it. That’s how it worked every day.
