by M. A. Owens
I snatched the phone up so quick I almost slapped it off my desk. "Fernando? You all right?"
"Better than that. I need you to come see me immediately."
"You read the paper?"
"We can discuss that, along with other matters, when you arrive."
"Listen, you need-"
He hung up. Of course he did. I made my way to Adria a little more slowly than usual. I didn't trust a single corner or alley off the street anymore. I'd have to ditch my apartment for the time being, and I probably shouldn't stay in the same hotel two nights in a row. Best not to make any reservations in advance either. Great.
I made my way down to the Swindler's Den and sat on an open stool at the bar. The reception was different this time around. Maybe Fernando had given his lackeys a stern talking to. I waved over the bartender and ordered a drink.
"Say, mind if I ask you a question?" I asked.
"I already know why you're here. Fernando will be here to see you shortly," the bartender said as he put my drink down in front of me.
"You happen to know a cat named Kerdy?"
He turned back toward me long enough to answer. "Never heard the name."
Exactly the answer I was expecting. Finding Kerdy, dead or alive, would probably be harder than finding that stupid statue. I raised the drink to my face and took a sip, suddenly feeling something touch my shoulder. I jumped so hard that I spilled half the drink down my shirt. A roar of laughter erupted around me.
"He has a good reason to be jumpy. Believe me." It was Fernando. Must've put his paw on my shoulder to get my attention.
"You do too, Fernando. Just as much reason as me, I fear. We need to talk," I said, finishing my drink.
He motioned for me to follow him outside. As we stepped outside, he was quick to get to the point.
"Whatever you think we need to talk about, detective, it can wait."
"Fernando, I-"
"I know where it is, Mr. Trigger. The statue."
"Fernando, will you listen? You're in a whole heap of-"
"Danger? Trouble? Whatever you're about to say, it makes no difference. Whatever risk I have to take for the statue is worth it. Don't bother trying to talk me out of it or explain why it's a bad idea. If you want out, you're welcome to do so. Just understand that now I've been able to locate the statue, and given the substantial hazards surrounding it, I'd be willing to increase your fee by five hundred. Call it hazard pay." Fernando offered a venomous smile.
"Fine, it's all the same to me. Remember that Doberman at Agatha's house when you talked to her?"
"Sure. The maid?"
"Yeah... the 'maid'. If you see her, run. She's the one who killed Constance and possibly the cat who authenticated the statue for the insurance policy. The latter I can't confirm just yet."
"Oh... oh, I see. Yes, that is bad. She's seen my face. Knows my name."
"We also still don't know whether the statue is real or fake," I said.
"You say she attacked the cat who had authenticated the statue for the insurance company. Kerdy, right?"
"That's right."
"Well then, isn't that evidence to support the statue being authentic? If it was an obvious fake, wouldn't that have to mean that the two were working together?"
I shook my head. "Maybe. Not necessarily."
Fernando stopped in his tracks as we were walking and turned to face me.
"Mr. Trigger," he began. "I understand the dangers. I'm willing to accept them, but I'd like your help. I've already arranged the meeting to purchase the statue. I'd like for you to attend that meeting as insurance. If I'm kidnapped, I want you to follow them. And if I'm killed... Well, at least you'll know who it was and you can handle it on your own terms."
"Does the statue mean so much to you that you're willing to die for it?"
"It does."
It was time for me to plant ideas in Fernando's mind, before he got himself killed and me right alongside him.
"It's really too bad we don't have the help of a skilled thief who could take you out of the equation."
His eyes lit up. "What do you mean?"
"Once Lady shows up and realizes who you are, she's likely to know you will go to great lengths to authenticate this statue, and you may trace it back to her. Or Agatha," I explained.
His eyes narrowed. "Agatha?"
I laughed. "I know how these things work. Right now there's no evidence tying Agatha herself to the fraud. Most of what we've got pertains to Lady's involvement in the murder and theft of the statue. If the two of them are in it together, which I believe they are, then Lady is probably looking to lure out those who would mettle and get in her way. If Agatha can blame Lady for everything, she'll keep the payout, and maybe the statue too."
"Okay, detective. I think I follow. So, let's say I know a skilled thief."
"Then I say we arrange a meeting with the skilled thief as soon as possible. Better hope they're good."
Fernando tilted his head. "Just what is it that you intend to do, detective?"
20
Fernando contacted Rick's alter ego quickly to set up the meet. This time we met in a back room inside the Swindler's Den. I had no love for the place, but it was definitely a relief. We were well guarded and wouldn't be disturbed. In particular, we wouldn't be disturbed by anyone trying to kill us. For me, personally, that was an essential part of any meeting.
When Fernando invited me into the room he introduced me to "Rico", who was already waiting, sporting his bandit disguise as expected. We went through the introduction pretending this was the first time we'd ever met. Rick was already sitting down and Fernando beckoned me to sit in another chair at the round table, so I did. Fernando remained standing. I assumed it was because he wanted to take on a more commanding role in the meeting. Both Rick and myself were working for him as he saw it.
"All right, gentlemen, I believe you both have a good understanding of why I asked you here today. Tomorrow, I have arranged a meeting to purchase the Grand Gobbler. I intend to go through with this meeting whether or not either of you help me. In case you wondered, that's why I set up the exchange without consulting either of you first. The opportunity on such an important piece of the city's history is well worth the risk to my life. If you wish to say anything else about this, now is the time, though I don't expect it will do any good if you intend to dissuade me."
Rick stood up. "I have a lot to say about it, actually. While Trigger's idea of having me steal the statue during the transaction is a great idea, it won't make you safe. I believe Lady was likely listening in our first meeting, in the alley. Someone was, at any rate. That means she probably knows we're working together. She won't let you off."
Fernando leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. "Never heard of the ole double-cross before? I'm disappointed."
"I don't double-cross my clients," Rick replied.
"Of which you seldom have, I assume. If I'm wrong, however, you've done a great job keeping them a secret. So, in this case, if you were to betray me it may as well mean you betrayed every client you've ever had. Am I correct?"
Rick's face tensed. He pointed his paw at Fernando. "Fernando, do you know what happens to all the big gamblers?"
Fernando's grin widened. "I know what happens to them sometimes, Mr. Rico. Sometimes they win big. In fact, they're the only ones who win big. They're the only ones who can win big."
"That's true. However, more often than not it's their ego that pushes them over the edge. What you're gambling with here is your life. You can only lose it once, big or small."
"All the more reason to go big," Fernando said through a thin smile.
"All the more reason to go home, Fernando, while you're still able to cut your losses," Rick said.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the room for almost a minute while the two held eye contact, waiting for the other to speak. Fernando broke first.
"All right, Rico, if you think it's too risky or that it isn't enough money, the sol
ution is simple. I would cut Trigger out and offer you his share, but he's the hero type, and he won't back down no matter what. I know you're just in this for the money, so you wouldn't understand a dog like that or his reasons. So I'll just cut you out and double his fee since his risk will be higher, and we'll simply proceed without you."
What Fernando said about Rick couldn't have been further from the truth. I knew Rick well, and he was probably the most heroic dog I knew. He didn't need the money, and Fernando was mistaken to think he'd ever done any of it for the money. I had the urge to get up and give Fernando a mouthful, but I could tell by Rick's glance in my direction he was hoping I wouldn't do just that. I knew better than to ruin the act.
Rick grinned, gesturing to both of us with his paw. "Now we're on the right topic, at least. You want me here to reduce the gamble. If I'm successful, you two have nothing to worry about. She'll know I have it and, since you won't be giving her the money, she'll focus all her attention on me for the near future. You must give a good performance, of course. Can't look happy about it."
"By the right topic, I assume you mean compensation. I should have known you were setting yourself up for that. Look, I already offered you half the item's insured value," Fernando said.
Rick shrugged. "Sure, and we both know it's worth more than twice that if it's real."
Fernando chuckled, eying Rick with mock suspicion. "And if it's a fake?"
"That's your problem. If you didn't think there was at least a good chance it was real, we wouldn't be here right now."
"Not necessarily. I wouldn't mind having a good fake. If it worked for someone else as a trick, I could use it too. It's not a waste either way."
Rick wasn't buying it. "A good counterfeit with a side of murder."
"Fifteen-thousand for you, Rico? Five-thousand for you, Trigger? Look, at this rate I'll be paying market price for it. I'd be paying you what I could just pay the seller and take my chances. If it's a fake, I'll lose out anyway. I'm being more than generous. Take it or leave it."
Rick looked to me. "You've been awfully quiet, detective. What do you say? Should we take it or leave it?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I want the opportunity to examine the statue and document the evidence against Lady."
Rick grinned. "So, what are you going to do with your share? Donate it to charity?"
"If I did, I'd have to take charity myself. This job has gotten real expensive."
"Oh, I'm sure."
Fernando leaned over and tapped on the table. "So? Are you in or out?"
Rick and I nodded at one another.
I stood up. "I'm in."
Rico walked up next to Fernando and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "I'm in."
21
The meeting would take place in some dark alley, close to Rick's business. I got there early and hid out the same way I did last time: behind the dumpster with a couple of boxes in front and behind me. I wrestled with some last-minute indecision about whether or not I should have involved Buddy. If I'd have gone that route, Rick couldn't help, at least not as Rico. Fernando would get arrested and there would be no do-overs there either. Lady's already shown her penchant for escaping, so after a police ambush she'd probably find another way to discard the statue and disappear for good. Even if we caught her, we'd need something to charge her with that would stick. Agatha wouldn't budge unless she had to, and everything on Lady so far was more or less circumstantial. The money she was working with would get a dog out of almost anything.
Fernando was standing out in the middle of the alley with a duffel bag at his feet. It was safe to assume Lady had already staked the place out. It was possible she'd been watching for a long time. Likely saw Fernando arrive.
Rick and I knew that Lady would probably show up herself. She seemed like the dedicated loner type, barring the exception of her strange partnership with Agatha.
As the time drew near, it began to rain, making me appreciate my hiding spot all the more. The dumpster was narrower on the bottom than it was at the top, allowing me to stay fairly dry. Rico wouldn't be so lucky. It always seemed to rain at a time like this, but at least it put everyone at an equal disadvantage. Fernando came prepared. His duffel bag was repelling the water nicely, and he had an umbrella on him, which he opened promptly as the rain picked up.
Lady was highly punctual. At exactly the time agreed upon, down to the minute, a dark figure came out of the shadows at the opposite end of the alley. She wore a loose black raincoat with a hood. A black mask obscured her face. All but those eyes. Even at some distance I recognized them. The bright amber almost glowed in the moonlight, like the polished blade of a sharp knife. She held a sack under one arm, and tucked under her other appeared to be, if I guessed correctly, her weapon of choice. It was a piece of rebar to be specific. Something easily found in any scrap pile, but it would take a lot of strength and practice to use as a weapon.
It had either been hammered or cut to a point on the end. I'd seen nothing like it, and it sent a shiver down my spine. She gripped it loosely, allowing it to rest on her shoulder. I suppose she thought this made it look less menacing. It didn't.
Despite being criminal slime, Fernando seemed fearless. You'd think whoever was approaching was just some regular pooch in a suit by his demeanor. But, this was not some regular pooch in a suit. This was Lady.
I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that this was the same Lady who I'd stood next to several times before, and in a maid uniform no less. She had taken my hat and coat. She served me tea. Thinking about this made me more than a bit uncomfortable. In my imagination, I'd always wanted to picture Lady as a sweet dame with a hard exterior. Turned out she was just as hard on the inside as she was on the outside. They say not to judge a book by its cover, but maybe I should've done a little more of that in this case.
Lady stopped about ten feet short of Fernando.
"Do you have the money, cat?"
"I do, but I don't suppose you could just trust me on that? If I show you, it'll get a little wet."
"Show me," she demanded.
"As you wish."
Fernando leaned over and unzipped the bag, tilting it forward so Lady could see. Lady nodded, satisfied. She took a step forward, but Fernando stopped her.
"Do I not get the same courtesy?" he asked.
"With the same warning. Do you want your golden statue to get all wet?"
Fernando shook his head. "Don't worry yourself, my dear. I understand very well how to care for items made of gold after they've gotten wet. It will be fine."
She tucked the bar under her arm and held out the sack, unbinding the rope on the top. The sack gave way and revealed the treasure everyone was willing to kill and die for, fake or not. A golden statue in the shape of a turkey gobbler, his feathers fluffed and on display, his chest pushed out and his head cocked back. I'd never seen a turkey in person, but the painstaking detail in every shape and groove on each and every feather told me that what I was looking at may as well be the real thing in a different color. It was the Grand Gobbler in all its splendor. It did not disappoint.
I wanted to see the expression on Fernando's face, but his back was facing me. Still, I could probably guess. Judging by his silence, it was the excitement that had him at a loss for words. Just on the edge of my line of sight, Rick started his ambush. He swung down on a rope at an angle from behind Lady. As he swung by he reached out his right paw and snatched the statue cleanly from Lady's grasp. But her reaction time was nothing short of impressive. She spun her weapon from underneath her arm and swung it at Rick as he passed her by, narrowly missing him.
"I'll be taking this!" Rick shouted.
His speed was impressive. As fast as he appeared, he was gone, swinging and landing on a nearby rooftop and sprinting off in a blur. I had only ever heard the stories, but my experiences with him had mostly been chatting in offices. I never actually saw him in action as Rico.
Lady growled and barked, and Fernando hisse
d, almost simultaneously. Lady wasted no time going after Rick. Only a moment ago he was the fastest dog I had ever seen. It only took another moment for him to become the second fastest dog I'd ever seen. Lady bolted after him as he swung out of my sight, presumably ending his great swing onto another roof. Lady climbed up a nearby building drain as though it didn't have a single drop of water on it. In one final leap at the top, she was out of my sight.
Rick had a reputation for being infallible in these situations. He also told us not to go after him, no matter what. That was the plan, but a quick calculation in my mind told me that there was no way he would outrun Lady, even if he tried to lose her somewhere in the alleys. She could maneuver too well. I'd have to ask for his forgiveness later.
I hopped out from behind the dumpster just as Fernando was throwing the duffel bag over his shoulder and running. That was the plan after all. I pulled out my trusted shock stick and ran full speed, trying to ignore the fact I was scared out of my wits.
22
Chihuahuas weren't exactly known for their speed. Still, I could be fast when I needed to be. I just hoped it would be fast enough this time. I had to be crazy, running toward this kind of danger. I used to think I was a coward, but then one day I realized that every dog and cat gets scared. The difference could be one of a couple of things; either you're too hardheaded to consider your own safety, or you're selfless enough you're willing to put others first. I guess I was both.
They were so silent it made tracking their movements difficult, and their scents went over terrain I couldn't get through the same way they did. I had to look for detours on the ground. I could see why Rick picked this area to go through. It was like a maze, except I couldn't afford any wrong turns. Every once in a while I would hear sounds in the distance ahead of me, letting me know I was still running in the right direction. Rick had a sword with him today aside from his usual Rico getup. Completed that mask and cape bandit look, like some kind of comic book character. As long as there weren't loud sounds of metal striking metal, I could still have hope that Rick lost her. Before I ran, I hadn't considered the possibility he might lose her in the escape but that I might run into her myself. That must be what they mean when they say "you need a bit of stupidity to be courageous."
