by M. A. Owens
"No thanks. I think I'll hang around. I enjoy hearing you talk." I looked at my watch again. Ten o'clock.
His smile faded. "Why do you keep checking your watch like that?"
Before I answered, the handle turned on the back door. Like clockwork.
Time seemed to slow down to an agonizing crawl. Even though I knew who it was, it didn't make it any easier. I hoped Fernando and I could talk ourselves out of death for a long five minutes.
Lady walked inside, hood on, the weapon tucked under her arm with the casual stance you might use to carry an umbrella out of the house when you were expecting rain. Fernando froze and glanced toward the door leading to the front lobby.
"You won't make it. To the door, I mean. You'd be dead before you touched it. Dead before you hit the floor. May as well stay right where you are," Lady demanded. She walked over and picked up the statue. "There it is. You know, the detective must really hate you to do this. He could've let the cops try to get me yesterday, but he let me go. I'd have gotten away regardless, but it's the thought that counts. Isn't he just a sweetheart? He let me go all so I could come here, take the statue, and we could kill each other. Isn't that right, detective? Though, that will only be half true. I'll make it away with the statue just fine. Though, I must kill you both. I can be clever, sure, but not compared to the two of you. You fooled me once already, Trigger. Shame on me. And you, Fernando, well, I just don't like you. I'm afraid I can't take the chance of leaving either of you to your plotting."
I looked down at my watch. Three minutes past ten. This wasn't good. There wouldn't be time.
"Wait! You really think I'd bring the real statue here just so you could kill me? If you want to know where the real one is, I'm afraid you'll have to keep me alive."
She grinned. "A fake, huh? Looks exactly the same as the one I had recently."
"Look at it for yourself."
She obliged, picking up the statue and turning it over, examining every angle.
"Other than the hole you drilled in it, it's the same statue. It's pointless. Did you really think I'd be so stupid as to not recognize the statue I held in my own paws?"
I looked down at my watch. Four minutes past.
"Don't you want to know why I warned you away yesterday?" I asked.
"No, Trigger, I don't. I want to know what it sounds like when I bring this steel down on your skull."
She brought out her bar and I glanced at my watch. I had to make it a few more seconds. I dove under the table as the bar came down. It shattered the table in half. I rolled between her legs, but it was the end of the line. I was a detective, not a martial artist. I only hoped she'd have some last words for me. Luckily, she did.
"But I must thank you for placing everything in my lap, detective. As a professional courtesy to you, I won't make you suffer. This will be clean and quick." She brought up the bar again and as she brought it down, two officers burst through the lobby-side door. The first one knocked the bar from her paw, but she grabbed him and flipped him into the wall on the other side of her. By the time the second officer got to her, she was facing off with Lady alone. She swung her shock stick, but Lady dodged it easily. Lady countered with a kick to her chest, sending her staggering back, but not enough to knock her down. Two more officers burst through the back door just as Lady delivered an open paw chop to the second officer's neck, dropping her to the floor. Both officers got behind her, grabbing her arms. She struggled for a moment, overpowering both officers at once and slamming them into one another, sending both of them to the floor.
I tried to make my way toward the back door, but she caught me with a kick to the ribs, sending me rolling across the floor. She kicked harder than I could've imagined. It was like getting hit by a sack of bricks that fell from the top of a building. She busted me up good. The pain was white hot and I couldn't move. All I could do was gasp for breath and rely on Buddy and his cops. She picked up her weapon, walked toward me, held it above her head, and brought it down. It stopped halfway. Buddy had grabbed her, and not a moment too soon.
He grabbed onto her arm and stopped it from coming all the way down. She tried to bring it down again, but Buddy was strong and she couldn't manage it. She let go with one paw and planted a perfect shot into his face. Blood dripped onto the floor, but Buddy refused to let go. He brought his foot down onto the back of her leg, and she went to one knee. She pulled Buddy to the floor and landed punch after punch on his face, but he wouldn't let go. He turned his head and spit out a couple of teeth, but even after several more punches he refused to let go of her. It was only a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity. Several more officers made it into the room and piled on top of Lady. She yelled out with all her strength, lifting several officers up as she attempted to make it to her feet. But even more officers poured into the room and jumped onto her, pinning her to the ground.
I breathed a sigh of the relief. Marty put me in the hospital when he showed up to my office with Mr. B, but I'd never been so close to death as I was just a moment before. So much for Buddy buying me breakfast. I was just happy I'd live to see my next meal.
Fernando, who was now sitting in the corner of the room, pointed to me and shouted. "All of this! Luring me into the room. Luring Lady here. Stealing the statue. Setting up this ambush. You planned this?"
I squeaked, more than spoke. "That's right. This was for Constance, you scumbag."
After a moment of silence, he struggled to his feet and began slowly clapping. "Bravo, detective. Bravo..."
30
Buddy had to spend a few minutes at the local hospital getting patched up, but not before he had to field a fleet of press conferences and interviews. He seemed pretty pleased with the outcome. He told me over the phone to stay put in his office until he got back, no matter how long it took. Considering he'd just kept me from entering the afterlife, I was more than happy to wait until the early morning if I had to. I didn't expect I'd be able to sleep anyway, considering everything that had just happened. Or, so I thought. I eventually fell asleep in my chair. I'm not sure how long I was out when Buddy opened the door to his office and startled me awake. He had a big bandage across the top of his nose, and his eye was swelled up something awful.
"We did it! I can't believe it, Trigger. Your plan worked. We'll make the front page tomorrow! I never doubted you for a second."
I offered him a thin grin before replying, "Good to know you had my back through all this, Buddy."
He laughed, then pointed to my ribs. "What about you? What did the doc say?"
"Couple of broken ribs. No lasting damage to any organs as far as they could tell. Got off lucky, all things considered."
He laughed. "Maybe you ought to consider getting into a new line of work."
"At this point I wouldn't be good at much else. I better stick to my day job," I said. "Say, did my watch get busted when I got kicked around or is this the right time?"
"It's the right time, I'm afraid. Four in the morning. There's an all-night diner two minutes down the street. Great plate of eggs and bacon, and a halfway decent cup of java. Not much point in us heading home for little more than a cat nap. Care to join me?"
I took a deep breath and exhaled. "You still owe me breakfast after all."
Buddy and I walked down the street toward the diner. Even at this hour, the district was living and breathing. Dogs shipped cargo in carts up and down the street, and others just enjoyed the night life, many just now heading home from some big party. As for the diner, I could smell it well before I could see it. As I suspected, they employed an open door strategy this time of the morning when few other places to eat were open for business. My nose was flooded with the scents of eggs, bacon, sausage, coffee, and more. We walked in the door and were met by a feline dame.
"Welcome to the Moonlit Plate, would you like to try our..." She stopped mid-sentence. "Oh my, are you two alright? Do you need help?"
Buddy grinned, taking his badge out of his coat and showing her.
"Sorry for the sight, ma'am. We're fine. Had a bit of a rough night is all and we're starving and heard this is where they make the best eggs in the district."
"Oh... sorry to hear. What can I start you off with?"
"Eggs and bacon and a coffee," Buddy said.
"Same," I added, while taking off my hat and tucking it under my arm.
She smiled. "Coming right up! Have a seat wherever you like. You've got a lot of choices this early in the morning."
It only took a couple of minutes to get our plates and coffee, and we wasted no time catching up.
"I'm told that statue we seized is worth a fortune. Some old relic everybody thought was lost. Why didn't you sell it and retire? You could've been rubbing elbows with the top canines and felines in the district and hired a few bodyguards to boot. You could take up knitting," he said.
"That doesn't sound half bad. I bet I could get good at knitting."
"Yeah, bet you could. Anyway, let's get down to business. You know you have to give a statement on what's happened. You can come by later after you've rested to give me all the finer details, but how about you summarize it for me so I know what we're working with here?"
I nodded. "Now keep in mind, a lot of this I don't know for certain. Just informed speculation. There was this dog, Benjamin, in the Capital District."
"Informed speculation is my bread and butter. It'll at least give us something to investigate."
"So Benjamin, he's the descendant of this mayor who received the statue as a gift a long time ago. Somehow, the thing ends up in a box to be auctioned off. Now, I expect the foul play started somewhere around this point, maybe even before. My guess is that someone working for Benjamin made sure that statue ended up in a box. Now, that statue is supposed to be picked up by Fernando. Instead, a couple of boxes went unaccounted for. Fernando had already left, and by the time he discovered the statue wasn't in the boxes, the remaining ones were already gone. Bought by Agatha. There's a couple of different ways this could've gone down, and only Lady can tell you that. It was either that Lady went to work for Agatha to embroil her in this insurance scandal, convince her the statue was a fake, get a little payout, and make a clean getaway. As much as I hate to say it, because I like the old cat, it's possible Kerdy had an angle some way or another. Then again, maybe not."
"Assuming she's still there, Kerdy is Black District's problem," Buddy said. "Unless they find evidence proving she's tied to the statue case, finding and arresting her is up to them." He scooped up a pile of eggs and dumped them into his mouth, then quickly washed them down with a generous gulp of coffee. "I'm not getting' any younger. Please, continue."
"So Lady convinces Agatha to let her take the statue, right? In the meantime, this Fernando character was actually working for a cat named Hans who likes to drink from green cups."
"Pardon?"
"Strange cat. You'll see. Hans still expected Fernando to get the statue for him, but apparently knew about Lady. I don't know what the deal was with that. Maybe they both worked for him and were competing? Maybe not. Anyway, at one point, Lady would sell the statue to Fernando. Fernando hired someone to steal it instead, so he could keep the money and have the statue too. I was a witness to that one. Witnessed it firstpaw, actually."
Buddy raised his paw, coughing as he choked on a piece of bacon. He eventually recovered and cleared his throat.
"Sorry, you what?"
"Both of them thinking the other had the statue presented a unique opportunity, but it also made both of them lie low for a while. You'll like this next part. At this point I still thought the statue was a fake. I did some digging into who might've had it counterfeited, or who counterfeited it. That led me right to Hans. As soon as I mentioned the statue, he acted strange. Stranger, I mean. He was strange already. I could tell something was up. Then, Lady shows up right when he says he'll lock me up somewhere for asking too many questions. I escaped and set up the trap and you know the rest from there."
Buddy laughed. "Trigger, you think I can't see how full of holes that story is? You expect me to believe you somehow got the statue away from that dame? I go to the gym and do boxing on the weekends. I'm a strong dog and I couldn't even come close in a one-on-one fight. You expect me to believe you somehow overpowered her and took it away on your own?"
"Well, you see, I've been eating a good hearty breakfast every morning. Sometimes I even go for a morning walk. Don't judge a book by its cover. It's impolite."
"Yeah, that's hilarious. So I take it you'll not give me a name?"
"Sorry, confidentiality and all that. Anyway, he's on our side."
"So maybe I want his name so I can send them a thank you letter. Besides, I'm skeptical whether anyone who feels the need to hide their identity is on the side of justice."
"Buddy..."
"All right, I know you well enough to know that I couldn't beat that name out of you, so I'll drop it." He pointed his paw me for emphasis. "For now."
I scraped up the last bit of my breakfast and drank the final drop of my coffee. The waitress came over and offered a refill, but I turned it down. "This should be enough to get you started, Buddy. Part of this happened in the Black District so I really need to be phoning Petey to give him the lowdown, so he can tie up the loose ends over there. Thanks for the breakfast, pal."
"I think I might actually owe you a few more. So come by and collect sometime, all right?"
"Take care, Buddy."
As we went up to the counter to pay, the manager, and big gray cat, stepped out and held up his paw.
"You're Colonel Buddy, right?"
Buddy nodded. "That's right."
"Don't sweat it. This one's on the house. We're only able to open our doors at this hour thanks to what you've done here in the district with all the crime. Least I can do is treat you and your friend here to a breakfast."
"Thanks. Means a lot," Buddy said, waving his paw as we walked out. I did the same.
We left the diner and walked our separate ways. When I found a payphone with a private booth, I dialed up Petey.
"That really you, Trigger? You sound awful. You sound like you went in for the title fight and lost."
"Won, actually. Wait until you see the papers. Try to get the Adria one, too."
"You mean you tracked that Doberman dame down?"
"Sure did, but they'll want to hold her here, at least for the time being. I didn't figure you'd have any complaints."
"They'll send her over here at some point. A murder probably trumps whatever she did over there. Especially since it looks like Kerdy survived the attack."
"Actually, Petey, Lady didn't even attack Kerdy. It was a cat over here. Worked for the head honcho who was after that statue the entire time. Kerdy wasn't even there when they fought. Look, this won't be a lot of fun for you to sort out, but they'll probably do all the questioning here and then transfer the cat and Lady over to you so you can formally file charges against her. Make sure you pile them high. I don't want to have to deal with these characters ever again, but I'm sure they'd love to deal with me. I've already got enough dogs and cats after my hide."
"Can't promise anything on Agatha. Her involvement will be hard to sort out, but you can count on Lady."
"Let's grab lunch in a day or two, I'll tell you everything."
"Sounds good. Oh, and good job," Petey said.
"Wait a minute. Petey, why did you decide Kerdy survived the attack before I told you she wasn't even there?"
"She was spotted over near the river, near the city wall in Black District. Earlier tonight, actually. A dog was out late closing up his shop and saw her pacing. Looked irritated. By the time we got there to check it out, she'd already left, but the description was a perfect match."
Why was she... No. I'd had enough mystery solving for now. I felt relieved that she was safe.
"Thanks, Petey. We'll talk soon."
When I got back to the hotel and into my bed, I tossed and turned. My ribs ached in every position a
nd I couldn't fall asleep. Still, it was probably the best night of sleep I'd had in my life. The pain meant I was alive, and it was good to be alive.
I slept in late and made my way to Rick's office around noon. His secretary gave me the fast track in again, and when I walked into his office, he already had the morning paper laid out across his desk.
"Well, if it isn't the big shot detective himself. Got the whole crew in less than forty-eight hours. You better be careful setting standards like that, they'll think you're a good detective."
"Well, we certainly can't have that. If these are the cases I'm getting as a bad detective, I'd hate to see the ones a good detective has to deal with. And if I was a good detective, you couldn't afford to hire me anymore. What would you do then?"
He laughed. "Good point. Guess I'd be out of luck. I'll just have to keep settling for you."
"You'll manage somehow. Oh, and what's this 'I did it' stuff? Here you are again, the real hero behind the scenes. You do all the work and get none of the recognition. One day it might play out where you'll be the one to quit on me."
"Don't worry, you'll probably get me killed before that happens. At least give me a break for a little while?"
"I don't think I have much of a choice. Besides, don't forget that Rico's dead. Maybe let him stay dead this time, all right?"
"Only if he's never needed again. Say, how in the world did you land in the lap of this Hans fellow, anyway? I didn't really think we were that close."
"It's a long story, and I'm always tempted to give the background because I'm sentimental, but I know you're busy so I'll try to keep it short. Harvey's a kid in the Black District I got out of trouble a while back. A good kid with a real knack for identifying, and making, counterfeit documents. I went to see him to ask who might've made a statue like that. He thought of Hans because Hans was known for making quality 'replicas'. Turned out he's quite the collector, and the statue we got wasn't a fake."
