by M. A. Owens
“Not by choice, Petey. This was supposed to be an easy-money job. Similar payout to this pile of cash in front of me. I signed an NDA, but I guess that’s out the window now. Whoops. Anyway, I’m between a rock and a hard place. Turns out the party’s leader, potentially the soon-to-be mayor of the city, a cat going by the name of Saint, was the primary recipient of the money that was being funneled from this bank. Apparently, it was a lot. Enough to form and fund a political party, pay off a private detective with a bag full of cash, and still have enough left over for poker night.”
“So, why not go to Buddy? This sounds like an Adria problem.”
“No offense, Petey, but I would’ve if I could’ve. They seem to be operating almost exclusively in that district. Sure, Buddy would have the most up-to-date information and he would be in the best position to help. He’s never happy when I sign a nondisclosure agreement on anything I do over there in the district. He’s of the firm opinion that I’m usually causing more trouble over there than I’m worth. Maybe he’s right. Saint and his crew have been able to follow my movements with acute precision, probably because of the constant, reliable leaks from the bank. He’s already recruited me for two involuntary meetings, and I don’t think he’ll be as hospitable next time when he finds out I went to Buddy, especially after he blocked me from going further with the bank. He seemed to think he can bring me around to his side. Promised me a ranking position wherever I wanted. High government. A judge. Chief of…”
He sighed, his expression grim. “Here we go again. Not that you would make a bad chief, Trigger, but this seems like the Mr. B situation all over again.”
“Worse. Saint wants to impose all sorts of restrictions on dogs in society and how dogs and cats interact with one another. Dogs will become second-class citizens. He seems to think it won’t be as bad as it was before, but I don’t buy it. Let a group of dogs have one protest, or maybe even a riot, and watch the hammer come down. No, I honestly think we may find ourselves reminiscing about the days when we had good old Mr. B instead of Saint at the helm. We’ve got to put a stop to this.”
“Okay, you convinced me. So how do you want to go about this?”
“As far as I’m concerned, this is your show now, Petey. But my suggestion might be something like this; even though Saint has few dealings here in the Black District, he will be very sloppy about expunging those records and covering up his tracks. Anyone he’s associated with over here will probably not have much protection from him. His real name is Richard, by the way, and he used to work with Mr. B. For Mr. B, to be more precise. Let’s start with the official records and see what we can find. I’ll meet you back here tomorrow. I want to catch a meal, a shower, and something resembling sleep. With one eye open.”
He grinned. “I’m not sure that expression works so well for you.”
“Don’t worry. The good one will be the one that’s open.”
16
I lied to Petey about the whole sleep thing. Turns out I barely got a wink. By the time I actually did fall asleep, the alarm went off. After a quick breakfast of questionable integrity, made from only slightly moldy bread and peanut butter, I chugged down a cup of coffee and headed over to see Petey. Wanted to be sure I got there as soon as he did. Sure enough, I met him as I was going through the door. “Morning, Trigger. Care for a bagel?” He held up a brown bag in front of him, shaking it.
“Don’t mind if I do.”
He motioned for me to come inside. Lulu was sitting at her desk with a plate of eggs in front of her, her mouth already full. She raised her fork up in the air, seeming to forget about the food in her mouth and mumbled, “Good morning, Private T!” At least, that’s what I assumed she said. It was a wild guess.
“Good morning, Lulu. Hard at it, I see.” She forced herself to swallow, smiled, and slid her plate toward me.
“Want to try some?”
I waved my paw dismissively. “No thanks. Believe it or not, Petey’s going to share his bagels with me.”
“Wow, you don’t say? He made this too. He comes in here early every morning and makes breakfast for everyone. Pays for it out of his own pocket.”
I looked over to Petey, surprised, though I shouldn’t have been. It was a very Petey thing to do.
He raised both paws in the air. “Come on now, you’re embarrassing me here. I’ve got an image to maintain.”
“Yeah, right. That is your image,” I said.
“Alright, Lulu. Hold down the fort. No visitors or calls for me until Trigger and I are done. He’s determined to actually make me do work, would you believe that? Now I know how Buddy must feel when he goes to Adria.” He reached over and put his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s talk.” He reached into the bag and handed me a bagel, motioning for me to follow him to his office. We sat down and Petey looked at the empty desk in front of him. “I had the bag committed to evidence, but if we don’t need it for evidence, it’ll clear soon and technically be your property. Too bad this desk doesn’t look this way all the time,” he said, dumping the contents of the bag onto the desk and sitting back in his chair, propping his feet up in front of him.
I leaned back in my chair and took a bite of my bagel, taking a moment to quickly chew and swallow. “What’s the plan, boss?”
“First, we need to let Buddy and Patches know about this and see if they have any input. It's about time for our usual morning call, which is strictly confidential…”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Patches and Buddy may not like it when they find out I’m sitting in on your call.”
“I guess we’ll find out. I will let them know first thing. He needs to know why I’m the one engaging the call today, and why we’re not involving the Capitol District colonel. Besides, it will be easier for them to ask questions directly. Buddy will be sore at first, but Buddy is always sore. He likes you a lot more than maybe you realize, so he’ll come around like he always does.”
“And Patches?”
“Patches probably won’t be happy, but it will be with me, and not so much you. He doesn’t want the department involved in politics of any kind. You can understand why. Since the Feline Liberation Party is official now, he probably won’t support any official investigation. I will try to convince him to make an exception.”
“And if you can’t?”
“Don’t worry. This is just Plan A. Keep in mind, I’ve been doing this my whole life too. I’m even told I’m not terrible at it.”
“What you are, is modest. The stories get around. If this were any district other than the Black District, you’d probably be a celebrity by now.”
“Well, now you know why I insist on staying here, and do my best to stay out of the mess of higher ranks. Besides, the chief lets me get away with it… for now at least. Anyone above Lieutenant isn’t usually able to get in on the action themselves. Exceptions being in cases like that Grand Gobbler business you and Buddy wrapped up, and this one would probably qualify too… if it wasn’t political. Anyway, we’ll see.” He looked at his watch and picked up the phone, dialing.
“Yeah. It’s me… Yes, I realize it’s early… I know… Yes… Alright, I’m going to put you on speaker. I have a special guest for our call this morning. We’ll ring up Buddy in a moment, and leave this call to just the three of us, and our special guest.” He pressed the button on the phone, hung it up, and pointed at me. “Well, say hello,” he said.
I cleared my throat. “Good morning, Chief.”
“That who I think it is? Did you finally talk Trigger into taking his old job back?”
Petey laughed. “Not a chance. Besides, now I see how much money this dog makes. I’ve been thinking of going private myself, but I wouldn’t want to put Trigger out of work.”
Patches joined in the laughter on the other side. “You and Buddy did some fine work with that Grand Gobbler business. But Buddy’s got more than a full plate over in Adria, and he stresses out a little more than Petey does, so maybe try to cut him a break.”
Petey sighed. “Fair warning. He’s really not going to like this.”
“Really? More trouble in Adria again? Get him on the line, Petey.”
Petey dialed and Buddy’s voice came on the other side.
“Aren’t you boys a little early this morning?” Buddy asked.
Patches answered. “Yeah, he’s got us on a special call with Trigger.”
“Oh, great. That’s just great… Trigger, you know I love you, pal, but you make this job a nightmare sometimes, you know that? Every time I see your face over in Adria, I know I’m gonna be in for it.”
“Hey, at least I try to make you look good. Also, you might get bored without me.”
“Bored? With you running around? Let’s go ahead and just get my day ruined right off the bat. What kind of district destabilizing issues am I going to have to deal with today?”
Petey raised his paw, signaling to me that he wanted to take over. “Actually, I guess you may consider this good news. We just wanted you on this call to make sure you were aware, since the perps we’re after are based in your district, which shouldn’t be a surprise to you.”
“Well, I’m not sure that makes me feel a whole lot better, but at least he’s bothering you for a change.”
Patches interrupted, this time concerned. “So, what are we dealing with this time? Some kind of big jewel heist or a gang moving in to try to fill the vacuum left by Mr. B?”
Petey chuckled. “You sort of got it on the second guess. Ever heard of the FLP?”
“You also know we have a strict policy, my policy, and it’s in place for an excellent reason.”
“Yeah, I know, but if we let this go, we’ll be in a world of trouble before long.”
“That’s for the voters of our fair city to decide, Petey. Now, I assume Trigger’s been investigating a crime that involves them. What evidence do you have that ties them to it?”
That was my signal for a very underwhelming entrance. “Yeah, embezzling hundreds of thousands, if not millions from the First Bank of Adria. But as far as evidence goes… well, I got nothing. I mean, I have a confession from Saint himself, but I’ve got no proof, and I know full well how the courts in this city work when you’ve got that kind of money behind you.”
Buddy spoke up. “What if I send some officers and hold him for now? If we can’t get what we need, we can just apologize and let him go.”
Petey shook his head. “Because maybe that’s what he wants us to do. Maybe he was counting on Trigger coming back here, or coming to you, and doing just that. Just wants to be a martyr to get the sympathy of the cats in the city. No, if we’ll be able to touch this guy, at least in an official capacity, we need solid evidence. I’d like your permission, Chief, to open an official investigation here in Black District.”
“Permission denied, Petey.”
Petey shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I guess that just about wraps it up then. Oh, there’s just one more thing…”
“Yes?” Patches asked.
“It’s busy around here, and all this has me feeling a little overworked. I think I want to use some of my vacation time I’ve accrued.”
“Petey…”
“What? Can’t a dog have its day once in a while?”
“Fine, take a week. In fact, I’ll have Buddy hook you up with tickets to the championship fight this Friday. They’re saying it will be the biggest boxing match of the year. Maybe the decade.”
Awfully generous gift. Was there some kind of hidden meaning in the gesture?
“Thanks, Chief. I’ll do that. We’ll leave it to our good friend in the private sector here. I’m sure Trigger will break this case wide open soon and have poor old Buddy cleaning up all the broken pieces up after it’s all said and done.”
Buddy barked in. “Oh, don’t I know it. Go get ‘em, pal. Don’t worry about ol’ Buddy. Nothing makes me happier than cleaning up your messes.”
At least I could detect a bit of humor that time. Maybe. “You can count on me, Buddy. I’ll do my best.”
Petey reached down and disconnected the line, letting his eyes linger on the phone with an obvious look of disappointment stretching across his face.
“So that’s that. Dead end,” I said.
“Nope. That was Plan A blowing up the way I expected it to. Now for Plan B.”
17
“Alright, Petey. You’ve got me intrigued. What’s Plan B?”
He grinned. “I’ll be your partner for the next week or so. Well, in an unofficial capacity.”
“Whoa, now hold on a second, Petey. Don’t I get a say in this? Besides, what about your vacation? You really want to waste it putting your neck on the line for my case?”
“Trigger, I haven’t been able to work on a case personally in months. This will be a vacation from all the ridiculous pencil pushing.”
I shook my head. “Paperwork’s still gotta be done, Petey. Then again, knowing you, you already have a plan for that.”
He slapped his desk. “Right you are! Came up with it just now.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Petey cut me off by slamming his paw on the buzzer of his buzz box.
Lulu’s voice came over the other end. “What you need, boss?”
“Hank and Lola make it in yet?”
“Sure have. Hank’s right here. Lola is finishing up an interview in Room C.”
“Good, send Hank on in. Send your sister in when she’s finished with her interview.”
“They’re not going to be happy, Petey,” I warned.
“Don’t be too sure. Not everyone is born for the field like you and I.”
I nodded, not sure if I accepted what he was saying. I’d seen Hank and Lola in action. They were the first dog and cat partners I had ever encountered, and they were good. Hank was a bloodhound with good instincts and an eye for detail, and Lola could piece those disparate things together and recreate the scene in her head. You’d never believe she was Lulu’s sister, on account of the fact that she could close her mouth long enough to focus on her work.
There was a quick knock at the door, and Hank stepped in.
“Morning, Petey.”
“Morning, Captain.”
“Hey Trigger… Wait, Captain?”
“Relax, it may just be temporary, but I think you’ve earned the promotion, at least while I’m on vacation.”
“Thank you, sir, but isn’t there a bit of a problem with that?”
“Nah, not really. Just a small one.”
“You mean the one where we’re technically the same rank already? Sure, you’re a senior lieutenant, but you can’t technically promote me to a rank higher than you.”
“Why not? It’ll be fine…”
“Does this mean you’re finally accepting Patches’ offer to be colonel, officially?”
“Oh… Oh, no, definitely not. Not if I don’t have to. Worst-case scenario, I’ll play that card if the chief doesn’t allow the ranks to hold. I’d be happy to work under you and Lola, failing that.”
Hank stopped smiling. “I wouldn’t. This department needs you running the show.”
Another knock came at the door, and Lola stepped in. “What did I miss?”
“Good morning, Captain. Oh, and not much,” Petey said.
“Hello, Trigger. It’s good to see you again,” she said, before quickly turning her attention to Petey. “Captain?”
Hank interrupted before Petey spoke. “Like usual, the boss has a death wish with the chief. He wants to promote us to captain, even though technically he can’t, so we can take over for him while he’s on vacation to do a job he’s already not supposed to do as a lieutenant, a position that can’t promote someone, much less to captain. You with me so far?”
Lola burst out laughing. “You know, the chief must really, really like you, Petey. I guess we're about to find out how much.”
Petey spread his arms open. “Patches loves me. Come on. He’ll forgive me, I’m sure.”
Hank took on a more seriou
s expression again. “No, he won’t. Everyone has a limit. The chief has a lot on his plate. He will not want to play this game with you.”
Petey sighed. “Okay, I get it. You’re right, of course. This wasn’t my first choice. I’ll have to ask you to have a little faith. Trigger’s working on a very important case, and we’re not able to help him in an official capacity. We're talking a tremendous impact on the entire city, and I think we’ll only get one shot at this. So, I don’t want to hear any more arguments.”
Hank and Lola looked at each other, equal parts confused and concerned.
I looked at both of them, sympathetically. “Yeah, I know, right? Just my luck. On the bright side, the last time I got wrapped up in something like this Buddy had to dedicate half the department in Adria to helping me bag the bad guy… err…gal.”
Petey nodded. “At least Buddy could use the police resources. We must be creative here, if not a little dirty. But I at least owe you two an explanation.”
Petey rushed through all the most important details of the case I’d been working on, squeezing more or less everything into about a ten minute briefing. I was impressed.
“So, we got a super villain complete with a cheeky super villain name. Where do you find these people, Trigger?” Lola asked.
I threw up my paws in an exaggerated shrug. “Hey, don’t put this on me. The crazies find me, not the other way around. I’m just trying to make a quick buck and keep the lights on.”
Lola poked me in the shoulder. “I don’t buy it. I think you like this high-profile, save-the-world type stuff. I think it’s in your bones. You just haven’t accepted it yet.”
As I was about to reply, Petey caught me off guard with the enormous grin that just spread across his face. “You too, Petey?” I asked.
“Enough teasing Trigger, for now at least. This is what I’ll need from the two of you,” Petey said. “I will let you two know what’s going on. And you’re going to…” He paused and winked several times. “… not get involved.”
