Her head ached, the flash of memory tearing into her reality. What did Valhalla have to do with Liam? Or flying, or the fighting…
Why couldn’t she remember?
Liam pulled back, ducking his head down to cover a cough. “She rose and did something with her spear, the soldier waiting for his fate. Then they were both gone in a flash, a multicolored burst of light. A second later, everything kicked back into reality—the jeeps rumbled along, kicking up dust, and I sat there, trying to figure out what I’d seen.” He let out a weary sigh. “I don’t know what I saw. Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe I caught some bad field rations.”
“You don’t think it was real?” she said softly.
“I think I saw something. Those people died, no doubt about that. Their bodies lay on the ground right in front of me, their blood soaking into the sand,” he countered. “But a Valkyrie? Avenging angels, swooping down to gather worthy souls to Valhalla and send evildoers to Hell? Not likely. However…” He held up a finger. “Whatever it was—a hallucination, sun stroke, daydream—I have no doubt it was an omen sent to knock me on my ass.” His voice hardened. “Get out and get out now. In my business, you don’t retire at a grand old age. Professional assassins don’t get pensions.”
“You’re not old,” she said. “You’re what, thirty?”
“Close enough.” He rubbed the back of his neck, sliding under the long hair. “Old enough to realize I was running on borrowed time. And that vision brought me back down with a crash—call it my ‘come to Jesus’ moment, whatever you want to, but I’ve done a lot of bad things.”
“People do bad things all the time.” The words felt like cotton in her mouth.
“I did it for money. Not for a belief system, not for a country or a family or a village—for the cold hard cash tucked into my Swiss bank account. That vault’s full of blood and while I can’t wipe it all out, I can do what I can until it’s my time. Then I’ll answer for my sins, as that man did.”
Kara couldn’t think of anything to say.
“I waited until the soldiers were out of sight. Then I turned around and left. Left the mission, the country, the job. All of it.” He looked toward the small window near the front door. “I gave all the money in my accounts to charity and drowned my other identities—all except this one, Jack Hammerson. Then I hit the road.”
“To do what?”
“To try and erase the red from my ledger. I help who I can, when I can.” He shrugged. “If I get paid, I give what I can to charity.” A glance toward the kitchen had him smiling. “Well, except if it’s pie. Can’t really send that through the mail.”
“Why not join up with one of the big agencies? There are charities begging for volunteers. You could go overseas and…” Her voice trailed off as he shook his head.
“It’d be dangerous—I might run into someone who knows me or one of my alibis. It would put everyone around me in danger. Besides, this is my mission and mine alone. I don’t want to coast on someone else’s hard work. I do what I do, and it affects me directly—both good and bad.” He held up his hands, showing off the callouses. “I thought I was tough until I started working manual labor. Stripped at least three layers of skin off before they hardened up.”
“It’s an interesting approach,” she ventured, “this idea of redeeming yourself through good works.”
“It’s all I can do. Sometimes…” Liam hesitated.
She stayed silent, letting him talk.
“Sometimes, late at night, I dream about a dark place. It’s not Hell, not the one from the books. Dark and dusty, like Afghanistan at night. I hear voices—the people I’ve killed.”
Her chest ached.
“I can’t see them but they’re all around, waiting to get their hands on me, tear me to pieces.” He flexed his fingers. “They charge at me and do exactly that, rip my skin with their nails, their teeth. Pull me limb from limb, yank my still-beating heart from my chest and waving it in front of me before taking my eyes out.” He shuddered, closing his eyes for a long moment.
“Then I come back together, unhurt and whole. They rush at me and do it again and again, for eternity.” He shook his head. “You’ve no idea how many people I’ve killed. I do. I don’t want to have some battle angel drag my soul down to Hell when I die because of it.”
Kara swallowed hard, visualizing the horror.
“So when you met me last year…” she started, trying to push the mental image away.
“When I quit, I quit. Didn’t complete that last mission. Even though I gave the money away and it’s been five years, I’m always looking over my shoulder.” He picked up the beer and drained the rest in one gulp. “You don’t remember that night in Vegas, but I was at the hotel bar, having a drink and feeling a little sorry for myself.”
“Then I came up to you.” The memory popped into her mind, as fresh as if it’d been yesterday. “I told you to buy me a drink.”
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “Pretty ballsy demand. I did, and you know where that went.” Liam chewed on his lip. “That’s why I’m so curious as to how you found me here in the Ridge.”
“Because if I could find you…” She left the thought unfinished.
“Yes. And I can’t risk you or anyone in town getting hurt because of what I’ve done in the past.”
Kara touched his forearm. “I can take care of myself.”
“I know.” The wistful grin dug deep into her soul. “I guessed that when you walked out on me last time.”
It was too much.
She moved her hand to his face, cupping his cheek as he leaned in with a sigh and closed his eyes. “That was my mistake. It won’t happen again.”
The rush of desire swamped Kara’s senses as she moved in to kiss him, surrendering to the simmering burn she’d carried since finding him again. She didn’t know who she was, what these memories meant—but she needed this human touch, this emptiness inside her demanding to be filled. The rest… She’d deal with that later.
Chapter Seven
Liam wanted to say he’d forgotten how she tasted, how she felt in his arms—but he’d lied enough in his life. The wave crashed over him as he pulled her close, his hands tugging her shirt free, so he could touch her bare skin. The heady scent swamped his senses, dragging him back to the time spent together a year ago.
She wasn’t holding back, either, her hands tangling in his long hair and pulling the elastic free. He let out a growl as her nails dragged along his scalp, remembering the rough foreplay she’d professed a liking for.
But even as he fought with her for control, dueling tongues brawling for dominance, the burning ball in the pit of his stomach flashed hot—and not in a good way.
He still didn’t know how she’d found him. That one question dampened his desire, his fear for her safety and those friends he’d made in the Ridge coiling around his need for her with a growing concern.
Liam gripped the back of her neck, trying to ignore the little gasp she let out. It still shot straight to his groin, his cock already straining against the front of his jeans. He used the last of his restraint to tug her head back and stare at her.
The need in Kara’s sky-blue eyes almost broke him, the pupils wide and unfocused as she stared at him. Her lips were swollen and wet, begging him to continue his attempted conquest. She’d fight him to the end, but they’d both get what they wanted.
What they deserved.
“We can’t do this,” Liam rasped.
Her eyes widened, turned to cold steel. “Why not?”
“Because you don’t remember who you are.” The words tasted sour. “You could be married, engaged to someone.”
She pulled her left hand free and waved it in his face. “No ring. No sign I ever wore one. And if I wasn’t a year ago, I’m not likely to be now.”
“This…” He shook his head. “This isn’t a good time. You don’t remember how you got here.” Liam licked his lips, trying to commit the last taste of her to memory.
&nb
sp; Kara eyed him, still straddling his hips. “According to what you said, we spent a week together without any questions, without any obligations. What’s changed now?”
His pulse pounded in his ears, matched by the throbbing in his cock. “What’s changed is that we could be putting the town at risk.” Her soft hair brushed against his skin, the mere touch now turning into a painful denial. “We need to find out how you got here. That’s got to be a priority—we can’t let our guard down by being…” He ground his teeth together, using the pain to focus. “Distracted.”
Kara swallowed hard and shifted back onto the couch, giving him a hollow victory.
“You might have a point.” Her gaze drifted down to his crotch, a smile tugging at her lips. “I’d say I’m sorry, but we’re both trying to give up lying.”
He gave a painful chuckle. “Tell me about it.” He forced himself to stand up and go to the front window, glancing out through the curtains. “Let’s clean up, watch some television and wind down. Tomorrow morning, we’ll head back to Marie and see if she’s got any clues as to your identity. Can’t do anything else.”
The couch springs creaked as she rose behind him. A few seconds later, water splashed in the kitchen sink and he let out a slow, strangled breath, grateful she hadn’t pursued him any further.
His self-control was already at the edge. One more minute and he’d be lost.
Liam pressed his palm against the cool glass, forcing his thoughts away from Kara and back onto the driving question—what was she doing here?
“Why don’t you see if you can find some action film for us to watch?” she called out. “Something with lots of cars and explosions.”
“I can do that.” He looked out into the darkness for one last check of the parking lot before heading for the couch. “I can definitely do that.”
A few hours later, Liam rose and went to the window. The evening had ended in a type of détente, the two of them laughing and enjoying the car carnage with her finally dozing off on the couch. He’d retreated to the chair, napping lightly.
He didn’t have to check the thermometer set on the window to know the temperature had dropped—he could feel it in his bones, especially the ones he’d broken over the years.
Long, lazy sunbeams crawled across the beige carpet, but the temperature wouldn’t get much higher. The next storm would bring snow, starting the yearly cycle of closing off the Ridge from the outside world for a few blessed days of silence.
He looked back at her. Desire cruised down his body, settling in his groin as he tried not to focus on how she looked, one hand tucked under her cheek. Her other hand fell outside the blanket, brushing the front of the library book. A lock of blond hair fell over her cheek, sticking to one edge of her mouth.
He fought the urge to turn and go to her, flick the offending strand away and replace it with his own lips.
It’d be easy, too easy, to take advantage of the situation. Last night had been a test, and he’d passed—this time.
Liam glanced out through the curtains, his gaze darting around the parking lot as he logged and cataloged the cars. Everything was the same as it’d been for months.
But now one storm had swept everything out from under him.
She knows my name.
A soft sigh came from behind him.
In a different time and place he’d like to explore how many times he’d make her sigh and moan, scream and curse his name as he dragged his tongue…
“Hey.”
Liam forced himself to stay still.
Kara rubbed the side of her head as she sat up, hair tousled. “Guess I dozed off during the movie.” She blinked. “What’s on the schedule for today?”
“First, coffee.” He headed for the kitchen.
“Right.” She covered her mouth, hiding the yawn. “Give me a few minutes to get changed, and we’ll go.” She headed down the hallway and out of sight.
Liam’s phone rang.
“Hey.” It was Mark Jarrett. “Good morning.”
“Morning.” Liam tucked the phone under his ear as he cut pieces of cherry pie. “What’s up?”
“Wondering if you could run up a load of firewood for us today. Lisa’s afraid we don’t have enough. Rather get it now before the snow starts falling.”
“I’m good for it.” Liam tapped the button on the coffeemaker. “Got a stop to make beforehand, but I’ll be right up after that.”
“Good. Just be careful—a few slippery spots on the road. Almost went off once with the SUV.”
“Gotcha. Later.” Liam put the phone down as Kara came down the hall, her eyes wide at the sight of the pie and coffee.
He sat down and started in as she joined him.
“Start off the day on a sugar high. I’m in.” She chuckled. “What’s next?”
“After we see Marie, the Jarretts need a load of firewood driven up to their cabin. They’re worried about having enough for when the big storm hits.”
“So how does that work?” Kara sipped her coffee. “Do you go cut it yourself?”
Liam laughed. “I’m looking to help people but not end up in the hospital—I’m not an expert when it comes to using a chainsaw. A company sells firewood lots down the road. We’ll go there, load up the truck, and head to the cabin.”
“Let me guess—the Jarretts are an old retired couple who pay you in cookies and hugs.”
“They’re a kinky young couple who come up from the city and want to be snowed in. Keep all their sex toys in the cabin so they can have a marathon during the winter.”
She coughed on a mouthful of coffee. “And how would you know that?”
“Tripped by their place on a whim early in the spring with an extra truck full of wood and got an eyeful.” Liam winked, taking pleasure in seeing her reaction. “Amazing what you can do with bungie cords.”
She scowled and dipped her head down, hiding her deep blush.
They finished up and headed out. The distance from his apartment to the truck wasn’t far, but the biting wind make it feel like a mile.
“Storms are going to start soon. See it in the sky.” He pointed upward. “Those are definitely snow clouds.”
They pulled out of the hotel parking lot and onto the street. The temperature had dropped considerably, patches of ice now fighting for dominance over the sidewalk and asphalt.
“Slight change of plans. Going to be stopping by the library first to lay down some salt.” He winced as one of the tires spun on some ice before getting a grip on the road. “Geraldine’s in no shape to be going out and doing it herself. She’ll try and likely sprain an ankle or something worse.”
Kara nodded. “And another notch in your good deed belt.”
The words grated across his ears like the whine of a bullet ricochet. “No. No.” He pulled the truck over to the side and jammed it into park before twisting to glare at her. “This is not about keeping count. Don’t you understand?”
He gripped the steering wheel. “It’s not about how many little old ladies I help cross the street. I believe, I truly believe, that it doesn’t count unless I do it of my free will. I’m trying to change, trying to become a decent man.” He heard the bite in his voice and didn’t care. “Perhaps you don’t get that because you’ve never tried to change who you are, deal with the consequences of your actions. Could be you’ve skidded through life without ever having to face the darkness deep in your soul.”
Liam stared at his gloved hands. “The ones I killed in the line of duty, those I can deal with. But the ones I was paid to murder, those stay with me. I can’t bring any of them back to life. But I can try to make the future a bit better for everyone around me. Isn’t that worth a shot?”
“I’m sorry.” The faint whisper ripped his heart open. “I didn’t…”
“Damn it.” Liam moved across the seat and put his arms around her. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. It’s just…” He fought to find the right words. “I’ve never had
to explain any of this to anyone—there’s been no one I’ve trusted enough to share it with. They’d be shocked, horrified at what I was. And what I’m trying to do now… I just hope it’s the right path.”
Kara stiffened in his embrace for a second before going lax, pressing her face into his neck. “I don’t want to think about you going anywhere.” The muffled words against his skin burned deep. “Especially not to Helheim.”
He frowned, rolling the familiar word around in his mind. It brought up memories of his father reading Norse tales to him, warning that bad little boys ended up there—not Hell, as Liam would later come to know the mythological location.
“I’m hoping not to. But I’ve got to believe every little bit I do will add up eventually. And I don’t keep count because it’d be wrong,” he whispered. “At least, that’s how I think of it.”
She raised her face. “All right.” Kara drew a deep breath, and for a second, Liam thought she was about to move in for a kiss. “Better get going before Geraldine takes it on herself to lay down that salt.” She reached past him and tapped the steering wheel.
They arrived a few minutes later, pulling into the parking lot. She hopped out beside him as he went to the small storage shed. “What can I do?”
Liam paused, at a loss for words. He wasn’t used to having company, at least not when doing chores. It was a welcome change.
Kara stood there, her hands in her front pockets. “I’m waiting.” She smiled, the simple gesture smoothing over the jagged nerves left after their discussion in the truck.
“Go inside and head off Geraldine before she comes out to join me.” He waved her toward the thick wooden front doors. “Slows me down.”
“I’ll keep her busy,” she replied as she turned away. “But you’re going to have to help me work off all the cookies she’s going to make me eat.”
Warrior Nights Page 6
