‘Yorana, Car.’ Rabbit greeted him awkwardly. ‘You good?’
Car King winked. ‘Nay good as you.’
The line moved along. Car dumped his bags, then skulked off to the kiosk, where Bunny was already sitting outside with two Cokes and a coffee.
‘I said “Diet”!’ Paulina told her off. ‘Gawd!’
Bunny smirked. ‘Dad, can I have Paulina’s Coke, too?’
‘No, Bunny.’ Rabbit frowned. ‘That’s how diabetes happens.’
Paulina let the Coke sweat on the table; spent the next twenty minutes canoodling with Rabbit and loudly telling him how much she’d miss him. She bawled at boarding-time.
‘It’s only a week, Lina,’ Rabbit repeated, mystified. ‘You can call me every night.’
She stopped bawling on the plane; she had a whole row to herself. ‘I thought you nay like old men,’ Car King jeered from the row diagonal to her.
‘I don’t like fat old men,’ Paulina rejoined; then remembered. ‘… Sorry about your daughter, by the way. Tiffany?’
‘Stepdaughter.’ His eyes glossed over. ‘She was an angel. Taken too soon.’
Paulina looked out the window at the tarmac, where Rabbit was waiting to watch the plane take off. During the safety demonstration, Car showed her a baby picture in his wallet.
‘My new niece, Leilani. Meeting her for the first time.’
‘Aw, gorgeous. In Sydney?’
‘Perth.’
‘No shit?’ Paulina handed the picture back. ‘My sister’s in Perth.’
Car smiled. ‘We’re together for the long haul, then.’
‘Not today.’ She folded her arms. ‘Just till Sydney.’
Paulina felt Car’s eyes on her as the plane lifted into the air. She looked out the window until Rabbit was just a speck on the tarmac, the island a speck in the Pacific. Bar service started.
‘From the gentleman,’ the flight attendant said, bringing her a plastic cup with an inch of fragrant amber at the bottom.
Paulina looked across at Car. He raised his drink, winked.
‘No, thanks.’ Paulina was surprised by how little she was tempted. ‘Just a Diet Coke.’
She took out Anna Karenina, read almost twenty pages before she got sleepy.
She slept so easy, these days.
‘Look how fat I am!’ Paulina griped, the moment she got through immigration and saw her mum, looking so cute in her sandals and summer dress with her fine, light hair around her shoulders. ‘Look: I’ve even gained weight on my boobs!’
Judy scrutinised Paulina.
‘Darling,’ she said in a stilted voice. ‘When was your last period?’
After stopping at the Cherry Hill Plaza chemist, Paulina insisted on going to Video Ezy.
‘Oi, do you have that BBC one that’s like Pride and Prejudice, but not?’ Paulina asked the teenage boy at the counter. ‘It stars Ric White!’
‘He doesn’t star,’ Judy muttered. ‘It’s a bit-part, at best.’
‘Umm.’ The boy looked around. ‘We have some period dramas over there.’
Paulina rushed to the shelf, picked up a DVD. ‘This one’s BBC! Oh … It’s from the eighties. That’s too recent.’
‘It would be helpful if you remembered the title.’ Judy sighed. ‘Can’t you just ring him and ask?’
‘He’ll be offended that I forgot.’ Paulina picked up another DVD. ‘Is this it?’
‘Why are you asking me!’
‘I reckon this is it,’ Paulina said uncertainly. ‘Yeah.’
‘Oh, for chrissakes, Paulina … I bet it’s not even a bit-part. He’s probably just an extra.’
‘I’m getting it.’ She flounced to the counter. ‘Ooo, can we get Girl, Interrupted too?’
‘Yes! Just hurry up.’
As Paulina put the DVDs on the counter, Judy handed over her card, then clutched her temples. ‘Gawd, Paulina. You’ve known him four months.’
On their way out, they bumped into Adrianna Portelli, who’d been a bridesmaid with her at Carli’s wedding. ‘Hel-lo gorgeous!’ Paulina trilled.
‘Paulina?’ Adrianna did a double take. ‘You look amazing!’
‘Yeah, island life’s really agreeing with me, hey.’
‘I’m going to go buy some things for dinner,’ Judy said sceptically.
Ignoring her mum, Paulina gave it to Adrianna good.
‘It’s paradise. Every day I wake up and can’t believe how beautiful my island home is. My boyfriend’s got a hammock on his porch. We watch the sunset every day. There’s no traffic and no crime at all. Everybody just leaves their doors unlocked! Oh, and the beaches? Palm Beach is shithouse compared. Gawd, Sydney’s such a shithole — I dunno how you live here, no offence! My boyfriend wanted to come too, but he works for the island government so he’s really busy and important. He’s a bit older, but he’s got Polynesian blood so you can’t even tell. He’s such a looker. Used to be an actor. Anyways, howabout you?’ ’
‘Oh. Same old, same old.’ Adrianna gritted a smile. ‘We should totally catch up for drinks — all the girls!’
‘Totally!’
Judy was already waiting inside the car. ‘Did you have a nice catch-up with your friend? I don’t think I know that one.’
‘Pfft! She invited me to some party at the casino for New Year’s Eve. I said, “yeah, maybe!” but I really meant, “fuck, no!”’
‘That’s some nice passive-aggression, Paulina,’ Judy congratulated her. ‘Very nice.’
Then she burst into tears.
‘Mum!’ Paulina yelped. ‘What’s your problem?’
‘Nothing.’ Judy wiped her eyes. ‘You just seem very grown up, all of a sudden.’
Judy kept wanting to talk about the test results. Paulina kept fast-forwarding through the DVD, looking for Rabbit.
‘Oh gawd.’ Judy took a glug of white wine. ‘He’s going to be sixty-six when it’s ten!’
‘Sixty-seven,’ Paulina corrected. ‘His birthday’s next month.’
‘Sixty-seven! And that’s if he doesn’t die of prostate cancer first.’
Paulina bit her lip and fast-forwarded some more. ‘Where are the soldiers? He plays a soldier in a red coat.’
‘The father of my grandchild played a redcoat … he played a redcoat for the BBC in 1971 …’ Judy pressed her glass to her forehead. ‘Do you remember 1971, darling?’
‘Do you, you fucking hippie?’
‘You don’t remember 1971 … You weren’t even born in 1971.’
‘Geez, you’re so smart, you should be a receptionist.’ Paulina looked at Judy in disgust. ‘This kid better get Ric’s brains. You’re a dead-end, hey.’
‘His name’s “Rabbit” and he’s having sex with a twenty-eight-year-old!’ Judy cried. ‘How smart can he be?’
‘Really smart. BBC smart.’ Paulina sighed as the episode came to an end. ‘Anyways, it’s not his fault. Everyone knows the pill’s not a hundred per cent … and we’ve been fucking like rabbits.’
Judy wept into her glass. ‘Oh Paulina!’
The next episode started, with a whimsical chiming of piano keys, floral wallpaper.
‘For fucksake, how many scenes of people sitting in stuffy rooms can there be? I know it’s England, but bloody hell!’
‘Paulina … Paulina … Paulina.’
‘Mother, mother, mother?’ Paulina swiped a stray tear from her own eye. ‘What?’
‘Look: if you’re really keeping it—’
‘I’m keeping it! I already said!’
‘I know, and I’m overjoyed. But, look: if you’re keeping it, the smart thing to do—’
‘I’m not coming home!’
‘Think about it, Paulina. Are the obstetric services on that island really—’
‘People have kids on Fair
folk! They’ve been doing it for like two hundred years! My friend Kymba’s having her third kid really soon, and she’s not going to the mainland!’
‘Yes, but,’ Judy said tersely. ‘That’s different.’
‘How’s it different? My kid’s gonna be a Fairfolk Islander. She’s gonna have a mutineer surname, and she’s gonna grow up climbing trees and eating fruit from the trees and playing with cows, and every Mutiny Day she’ll get to wear a pretty costume.’
‘“She”?’ Judy noted.
‘Yeah. I want a girl. So what?’ Paulina probed her belly button. ‘Anyways, it’s nothing yet. It’s probably nothing. There’s no point getting stressed or excited or … anything.’
‘Oh, Paulina,’ Judy whispered. ‘Just because I—’
‘I got all your shit qualities!’
‘Even so. Modern medicine …’
‘I just wanna take it easy. I wanna be near nature and the man I love and breathing fresh air every day. The air smells so good there.’
‘And you call me a hippie.’
‘Yeah. I guess I got that from you, too. Fuck!’ Paulina picked up the remote and fast-forwarded through a scene of ladies rambling through a rose garden. ‘You stress me out, no offence. I can’t afford to be stressed.’
Judy took a sip of wine. ‘I’ll shut up then.’
She was still crying, though, and looking at Paulina from the corners of her wet eyes. She was so annoying.
‘Stop crying, Mum,’ Paulina complained as big, slow tears slid down her own cheeks. ‘You’re making me cry.’
‘Can I see it again?’ Judy asked. ‘Can I feel it?’
‘Ugh!’
Paulina tried not to puke as her mum placed her hot, drunk hands on her tummy and cooed, ‘Baby! My baby’s having a baby!’
Then the redcoats appeared.
‘That’s him! That’s Ric! Look! Gawd … he’s good-looking.’
Judy squinted at the TV. ‘That one with the mutton-chops?’
‘Nah, further back,’ Paulina paused it, crawled up to the TV to point him out. ‘There! Gawd, he has great genes. He has such great genes, don’t ya think?’
‘Um.’ Judy squinted some more. ‘They’re alright, I s’pose.’
Paulina let the scene play out. Rabbit had one line: rather. She rewound it and made him say it again, over and over.
‘“Rather!”’ she imitated his toff accent. ‘“Rather”! Isn’t he talented?’
Judy had already dozed off on the couch.
They had Christmas at her rich Aunt Caro’s place in Mercy Cove, like always. Like always, her mum did the salads and dessert, and Uncle Tim did the meat, and Caro handed out envelopes stuffed with fifties and made sure everyone was drinking as much as she was. Paulina emptied her first glass of champers into the pool when nobody was watching; her second glass into the azalea bush. At the table, she sat next to Judy, who dutifully drank from both their glasses. She made sure to act extra-pissed.
‘MAYHEM!’ she yelled at her cousin Bronson, who was wearing a T-shirt of the black-metal band, Mayhem. ‘Watch out, here’s MAYHEM! Oh no! Not MAYHEM!’
Aunt Caro thought it was hilarious and joined in. ‘MAYHEM!’
‘Mayhem!’ Judy giggled, when she was drunk enough. ‘Mayhem!’
They yelled it whenever Bronson got up or sat down or said anything. ‘It’s just a band,’ he kept explaining, ears getting pinker.
‘Got any New Year’s Eve plans, Mayhem?’ Paulina asked conversationally. ‘Gonna burn down some churches? Sacrifice some bunnies to your dark lord and saviour?’
For presents, she gave everyone Fairfolk Pine-scented air-fresheners. Everyone pretended they were wonderful, till Wyatt accidentally chucked them out with the Christmas cracker rubbish and said in his brand-new American accent, ‘Sorry, I thought they were trash.’ Wyatt’s American girlfriend, Monica, accidentally broke a glass.
‘TAXI!’ Paulina and Judy and Caro screamed in unison.
Monica looked scared shitless. ‘You’ll get used to them,’ Uncle Tim told her, then went inside for the dustpan and broom.
Caro went inside to change her top. Judy went in to dress the pavlova. Paulina, who didn’t trust the olds to be alone together, refilled her glass and announced, ‘Gotta piss!’
She bumped into Tim on her way in.
‘I’m cutting you off!’ he boomed, confiscating her glass. Then he drained it and tapped his nose conspiratorially. ‘No need to waste my Veuve Clicquot. I’m onto you.’
‘Mum told you?!’
‘I give it five minutes before she tells Caro.’ Tim hugged her swiftly. ‘Want me to keep her distracted while you give your sister a call?’
‘Cheers.’
She strolled past the kitchen, where her mum was innocently arranging sliced strawberries on top of the pavlova. ‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m going for a piss,’ Paulina mumbled. ‘Geez!’
‘Oh, yes. You’ll need to wee a lot more often!’ Judy said gleefully.
Paulina stomped upstairs; found her Aunt Caro in her bra and open blouse, sneaking a ciggie on the balcony. She offered a drag to Paulina.
‘Nah, thanks. I quit.’
‘Traitor!’ Caro scowled. ‘I’ll quit on New Year’s Day, no sooner.’
‘Can I use your phone to call Milly? It’s quieter here.’
‘Of course, darling.’ Caro stubbed out her ciggie in the pot plant, buried the butt, then looked Paulina up and down. ‘Is that one of Jude’s old dresses?’
‘Ew! No.’
‘You can pull off anything. But I wouldn’t waste my youth dressing like a kindergarten teacher.’
As Caro breezed past, Paulina plucked at her long skirt, frowning.
Inside, perched on the bed, Paulina found her aunt’s address book, dialled Milica’s number, and shrank into a younger, shyer version of herself.
‘Hey, sis … Merry Christmas. Yeah, I’m good. Really good … Yep, home with Mum for Chrissy … She’s pretty annoying; how’s yours? Ha, that’s the way … Yeah, miss ya heaps … Wish I was there … I’ve got some big news — maybe. I dunno, it’s early days …’
By the time Paulina crept downstairs, everyone had finished their pavlova.
‘Too much booze,’ she apologised, yawning. ‘Needed a nap.’
The olds smiled at her all misty-eyed.
Next morning, Judy caught her reading Anna Karenina in bed and got all weepy again.
‘What?’ Paulina whinged. ‘I just wanna get to the bit where she jumps in front of the train!’
‘It’s nothing.’ Judy wiped her eyes. ‘You’re just growing up so fast!’
Paulina threw the book on the floor. ‘When are we going to Westfield? I wanna spend my Christmas money.’
On the way to Westfield, Paulina complained loudly and at length about the traffic. Then she complained about how hard it was finding parking, then about the crowds.
‘Yes, I get it,’ Judy sighed. ‘We all get it. Your island home is so much nicer than this shithole. Just don’t forget your roots!’
Paulina bought a bunch of boob-tubes and halter-tops ‘for Bunny’, but two sizes smaller than Bunny could fit. ‘What about this?’ her mum suggested when they encountered a peasant skirt with an elastic waistband. ‘It has a lot of stretch.’
‘It looks like Jefferson Airplane threw up on it.’
Judy bought it anyway, ‘for herself’. Paulina spent a hundred dollars on g-strings. After, they passed the makeup counters. ‘Why don’t we get our faces done?’ Judy suggested.
‘Ric likes me better without makeup.’
Judy rolled her eyes heavenward.
Browsing CDs at SANITY, Paulina held up the new Placebo album. ‘Look, Mum! There’s a song called “Passive Aggressive”. Reckon it’s about you?’
‘Look! Golden Oldies !’ Judy rejoined. ‘Why don’t you get it for your boyfriend!’
‘I’m getting this for my friend Jesse.’ Paulina ignored her mum. ‘He likes Placebo … and he’s passive-aggressive like you.’
‘Aren’t you already getting him the PJ Harvey?’
‘So? We have the same taste. And this way I get to borrow them both and still get brownie points for generosity.’
Judy kept browsing the oldies. ‘“Ric” doesn’t mind you being friends with a boy?’
‘He hates it!’ Paulina cackled. ‘He doesn’t think boys and girls can be friends. Lucky Jess comes into Foodfolk every day, otherwise I’d never see him. Ric gets soooo jealous! One time at the Fairfolk Bowmen’s Club he almost decked this guy who was showing me how to hold the bow, ha-ha-ha.’
‘That’s not funny, Paulina.’ Judy frowned. ‘I don’t like that.’
‘Good thing he’s not your boyfriend, then,’ Paulina jeered, turning her back on Judy.
Later, they walked past a shop selling kids’ stuff. Judy looked at Paulina and she shook her head firmly. Judy didn’t push it.
In the car home from Westfield, Paulina slept like a baby.
They stayed in on New Year’s Eve, eating watermelon and drinking non-alcoholic champagne and watching Mutiny on the Fortuna, starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Gideon King. Around eleven o’clock, the phone rang.
‘Oh, hel-lo, Ric!’ Judy chirped, in full receptionist mode. ‘Yes, she’s here. Before I pass you along, I just wanted to say: I think it’s time you and I had a good talk about your relationship with my daughter, don’t you? Wonderful! I’m glad we’re on the same page. Speak soon. Happy New Year!’
Judy held the phone out to Paulina like it was contagious. Paulina snatched it up.
‘Sorry about that!’ She took the phone outside. ‘Wow, is it 2001 on the rock already? Gawd, I wish I was there to kiss you at midnight!’
After about twenty minutes of talking Rabbit’s ear off, Paulina came back inside, kicked her mum awake. ‘Did you give him the good news?’ Judy asked dozily.
‘Nah. I wanna see his face.’ Paulina unpaused the movie. ‘Ric says the film from the thirties is the best version; this one’s way inferior.’
‘Thirties? Are you sure he’s only fifty-six?’
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