by Jessa James
Emma nodded, and I kissed her on top of her head before I headed off toward my office where I could be in the silence with my thoughts.
It wasn’t silent for long because just as I sat down to check out the calendar and see exactly what we were risking if we didn’t show up at the Waters derby, there was a crash of thunder and then the inevitable downpour began. It was spring in the south, and this was the expected forecast, so I wasn’t entirely surprised. What I didn’t anticipate was the door bell ringing and who would be on the other side of it.
4
Sara
* * *
“Start, dammit!” I urged my car as I turned the key in the ignition once more. It was no use. The thing was dead, and I was probably flooding the engine at this rate. I had made it a full mile down the long drive that led to the main house at Killarny Estate when my SUV decided it was done for the day. It seemed very unlikely that it would be able to make the three hour trip home if it couldn’t even make it out of the driveway.
“You piece of shit.” It wasn’t a piece of shit though. It was only a few years old, and it had been pretty expensive. It was the car I had decided to get myself not long after Dalton, and I got engaged. We had been dating for several years at the time and were already talking about children, so it had only seemed appropriate that when it came time for me to get a new car, I would get one that would be good for towing around a family.
Since all of those plans had gone down the drain the purchase seemed a little ridiculous, but I had been happy with the car, and I had it, so I was grateful. But now here I was sitting barely a mile from the Killarny house, on Killarny property, with my car refusing to budge. It was literally one of the last places on the planet I wanted to be right now, and I had to be broken down.
I picked up my phone and dialed for roadside assistance. It would take them two hours to get out there, but by then it would be past their general business hours, and they couldn’t get me a tow until the next morning. I hung up the phone thinking it must be a busy day for broken down cars and I got out of my vehicle. Standing there beside it for a few minutes I looked up toward the house and then back down the driveway again. It was another ten miles into the nearest town and while I was sure they had a tow service and a place I could stay, I had no idea what the phone number for a garage was and my cell service was so spotty that it was pointless to even try getting the search feature to work on my phone.
No, I had one single option left, and that was to turn around and walk back up the hill to the Killarny house and ask if I could use their phone to call for help.
“This is the universe’s way of making you swallow your pride,” I said to myself as I began walking back up the hill, the house in view the entire time. It was like the house was there, mocking me as I trudged back up toward it, reminding me that Pete Killarny was somewhere inside and the ridiculous man was bound and determined to stick it to me about the derby.
You wish, I thought, and a part of me really did think that the guy had some interest in me, but I was pretty sure it was nothing beyond the pure physicality of the moment. He was hotter than hell as he aged and it had been so long since I had been with anyone, of course, he held some kind of very basic sexual appeal for me. But I was not going to give into that. No, I was much more than the pure animal instinct that made me want to reach out and grab him. When he had pulled me close, I was nearly certain that he was going to close the gap and kiss me and I wished he would have. I remembered that first kiss like it was yesterday. It had been stolen, and he had looked so upset by it like he was surprised and then disappointed. Which he must have been given my awkward little girl state. There was nothing cute about being kissed by a girl your age when you were ten or so. Honestly, he probably wasn’t even interested in girls at the time. I was sure I was keeping him from running off and playing with his brothers, and I remembered how much I used to pester the kid by running after him and begging him to play with me.
Things were different now, clearly. Twenty years had passed since the first time I had kissed Pete Killarny, and we were two very changed people. I didn’t know anything about his divorce, and it was none of my business after all, but I could tell that he was a rather guarded man. That wasn’t so different from who he had been as a prepubescent boy, but he had clearly changed in other ways.
And he was a father? Now that was something to get used to the thought of. I wondered if any of the other Killarny brothers were married or if they had children. There were large houses peppered across the estate, much larger than those that typical ranch hands would live in. I was left assuming that they probably belonged to the other brothers and their families. Sean Killarny had definitely taken care of his boys, and I could see how entitled Pete felt.
Of course, he thought he had a right to be in our derby, for no reason other than the fact that they had been involved in it since it first opened. Well, that and the massive amount of money they had paid to be a part of it. While I hated to see a longtime friend of our derby out without so much as an explanation, my father hadn’t given me much to go on—nothing I wanted to elaborate on with Pete, that was. Doping was something you didn’t joke about or accuse with no proof. The people who didn’t believe in it really didn’t believe in it, and they had the law and several horse racing and animal rights organizations on their sides. But the people who did it, the ones who believed that it was something that was worthwhile and an acceptable thing to do to their animals would stop at nothing to make sure that their behavior remained a secret. I knew that it was dangerous to go around accusing a ranch of doping and even more so if the accusation had a shred of truth behind it.
And for a ranch like Killarny Estate? I looked around as I walked up the driveway through the pecan grove that slightly obscured the front of the house up on the hill. It was the largest horse ranch in the state. To accuse the largest and one of the oldest operations of doing something illegal was dangerous if it was true and idiocy if it wasn’t. Besides all that, my father had no proof that I knew of. Nothing beyond his gut feeling as far as I knew. If he had really had some kind of evidence, surely he would have turned it over to the police?
The backlash we could face from other ranches was something to be considered as well, and I wondered if my father had really stopped to think about what this action could look like to some of the other ranchers that regularly participated in our derby. If we were willing to cut ties without so much as an explanation to one of our oldest associates, then what else might we do? I could see this blowing completely out of proportion if people were unaware of the doping allegations, but I wasn’t going to be the one to bring that out in the open if I was not absolutely sure they were guilty of the crime. As far as I was concerned that was a matter for the police. All that we were doing was protecting the reputation and integrity of our derby. But I knew that from the outside looking in it would be difficult to distinguish that from arbitrarily deciding who could and could not participate in our derby.
I paused at the base of the hill, my keys still in my hand as I looked up at the house looming over me. I was within a few yards of the front door, and I hated that I was going to have to throw myself on the mercy of this family, but there was no way around it. And then, like all of nature and man was conspiring against me, there was a crash of thunder in the distance, and suddenly the sky opened up in a massive downpour, drenching me in seconds, and I ran for the front door.
I rang the bell for the second time that day, but this time I was soaked to the skin and knew that I must look like a drowned rat. Within a few moments, the same lady answered as before, and I could tell by the look on her face that she was already pitying me.
“Hi,” I said, offering her a polite smile. “I was wondering if I could borrow your phone? I broke down about a mile from the house and…” I waved my phone in the air. “Not much service out here.”
She made a ‘tsk’ sound and nodded, “Sure enough, honey, come in out of the rain. It really started to co
me down out there. It’s pretty tough to get any cell service from here, but you can feel free to use our phone. There’s one here in the front hall you can use. I’ll just go tell Mr. Killarny because he’ll want to know you had trouble. He might be able to call for a tow truck or a mechanic to come out.”
“Oh, no. Please don’t trouble him. I just need the number of a mechanic and…” but she had already disappeared down the hallway.
Great, now I was definitely going to have to deal with Pete Killarny again, and this time I was dripping in his grand front entry. I looked at the old-fashioned rotary style phone. It was the sort that looked like it belonged in a palace and I was sure it was there mostly for show or as a throwback to what things had been like in this house a hundred years ago. There was no phone book in sight, because after all, who had a phone book when you needed one these days, and I had no idea what number to call in town for help. In the back of my mind, I thought 911 might be the best option to get me out of here without having to deal with Pete.
“Didn’t expect to see you again so soon,” Pete said as he appeared from around the corner and gave me a look. I felt his eyes on my body, and I wanted to cover myself up. I was soaked to the skin, and in the air conditioned house it was freezing. I could feel my nipples hardening beneath the thin fabric of my white blouse, something that I had completely forgotten that I was wearing until that moment. Pete was likely getting an eyeful, and I was simultaneously annoyed and strangely aroused at the thought.
I straightened my back and tried to remain composed and dignified. “I didn’t expect to be back here so soon, and I promise I won’t take up any of your time. I just need a number for a tow service, and I’ll make my way into town.”
Pete shook his head. “Nah, we’ll take care of you. Besides, Nolan at the place in town would take three hours to get out here at his usual rate of speed. He’s good at what he does, but he’s not in any particular hurry to get it done if you know what I mean.”
I sighed dejectedly. “What’s your suggestion then?”
“My younger brothers are pretty good under the hood. I’ll let Sam and Stephen take a look when they get back.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at me again, this time there was a little more uncertainty in his voice, and I was surprised by it, whatever brought it on. “I’m afraid you may be stuck here for the night. I mean…we could drive you into town, but I’ll be honest, I don’t think you want to stay in that motel. And the bed and breakfast, well, I think they book up at least weeks ahead of time with those people who like to go visit the nearby caves.”
I was as excited about the prospect of spending the night here at Killarny Estate as Pete was to have me here as a guest—and that was clearly not very much at all.
“I really don’t want to put you out…especially not since…”
“Since you just tried to throw me out on my ass from your derby? Yeah, karma is a bitch, isn’t she?” He shook his head and smiled at me. “Maybe we can pretend that conversation didn’t happen for the time being. And…” he looked around to see if anyone was near enough to hear what he was saying, “my daughter is here, and you will probably see her, so I’d appreciate it if you kept all of that talk to yourself. Between me and you, it’s one thing, but I don’t want any of this getting back to her. She doesn’t need to know about some kind of feud between two old men. She loves her grandfather, and her grandmother meant the world to her. There is no need to tarnish that relationship.”
I frowned at him, unsure of why he was bringing up Sean and Emily Killarny in the conversation, and then I remembered that I had heard of his mother’s recent passing. He must have seen it register on my face.
“Yeah, and my mother was one of the most important people in her life. I don’t want to make my daughter feel like there is anything to worry about or fuss over. And she’s a smart one. She can figure things out pretty damn quick.”
I nodded. “You don’t have to worry about me bringing anything up.”
He chewed his bottom lip briefly as he looked at me. “You’re freezing. I don’t know what we have in regard to clothes that will fit you, but I’ll show you where you can take a shower and change. I’m sure there’s something that will work.”
Pete led me up the stairs to one of the guest rooms, but I could tell that at one point it had belonged to one of the boys when they were all younger.
“My old room,” he said as if he could read my mind. “There’s a bathroom over there, and it connects to another bedroom, so be sure to lock the door…although no one uses that room, so it’s not as if anyone will be walking in on you.” He moved to a dresser and pulled a drawer open. “There’s not much to choose from, but I think you’ll find something that will fit you in here. Sorry, there’s not a piece of women’s clothing in this house.”
I laughed, and that seemed to break some of the tension between us. I also realized that I was feeling some relief at not having to worry about what was going to happen with my car. As irritated and frankly, pissed as I still was at Pete Killarny, I was sure that he would make sure things were okay. As much as I hated turning over control of my situation to someone else, I recognized that sometimes these things came along and I had to roll with the punches if I was going to survive.
Pete was standing closer to me now, and I could feel the heat radiating from his body, penetrating the wet layer of clothing that separated us. I could feel something in my core seize up, a need deep inside me awakening, and I realized just how turned on I was simply by being in this man’s presence. I could smell the sweet musk of him that was like sweat and hay and morning dew, and it was all I could do to keep from falling into him.
“We’ll be having dinner in about an hour. Get yourself cleaned up and make yourself comfortable and I’ll see you down there in a bit.”
He shut the door behind him on his way out, and I let out a long breath. Fucking hell, it had been a long time since I wanted to have someone rip my clothes off and fuck me hard, but that’s what Pete Killarny was doing to me. I struggled to shake the thought from my mind as I stripped down and headed to the shower.
* * *
Dressed in an old plaid shirt and jeans that must have belonged to Pete when he was a teenager, I sat laughing at the dinner table with Pete and his daughter, Emma. She was hurrying to finish her dinner since she had a slumber party to get to at the house of a friend who lived on another nearby ranch, so she said her goodbyes early and left me there with her father.
“She’s really smart and sweet,” I said. “You know you’re in for a world of trouble there.”
Pete sighed. “Dammit, I know. I had been warned about having a daughter. You know, it’s the first thing they start saying to you in the hospital. That she’ll have you wrapped around her finger from the first time you see her, and that was the truth.” He shook his head, and I could tell he recalled thoughts and feelings from a much different time. “I hope I have done right by her. My mother was such a help after my divorce. I really couldn’t have done it without her. She had always wanted a daughter, so having that first granddaughter was a real treat for her, and I’m glad she was able to have that.”
I smiled and took a sip from my wine glass. “I’m sure that brought her a lot of joy. I was really sorry to hear about her passing, Pete. It had been a long time since I saw her, but she was always very kind to me, especially after my mother and father’s divorce.”
He bristled and I could tell the subject of divorce was a sore one with him, so I let it slide.
“But you all seemed to have had a wonderful relationship, and I am certain it meant a lot to Emma. She won’t forget that.”
He cleared his throat. “You want to take a glass of wine in the other room? Nights are still a little cold, and I’ve got a fireplace in the study. I like to have a fire and some scotch in the evenings.”
I paused. “Not a cigar though?”
He frowned and shook his head. “No way.”
“Fine then,” I said as
I stood up. He poured me another glass of wine and showed me the way to his study, and I wondered exactly where this evening was going to lead.
5
Pete
* * *
Having a house guest was the last thing I had anticipated. The fact that it was Sara Waters was the craziest thing I had thought of in a long time and the last thing I would have considered happening. It was so surprising and unexpected, but the strangest thing of all was how much I was enjoying her company. She was good at conversation. She was smart and witty and had a great sense of humor, and that was all on top of everything else. We had grown up together, but our lives had drifted very far apart, and our paths had diverged a long time ago. It was strange to be back here now all these years later, talking about memories from back then. It was good though and I was starting to see how much I had been missing conversation with adults who weren’t my brothers…if you could call my brothers adults.
But the thing hanging over our conversation as she sipped her red wine and I polished off the last of a bottle of fifteen year Dalwhinnie, was the whole reason she had shown up at the ranch today. I knew there was more behind what she was saying, but it was clear that she wasn’t ready to talk about or didn’t feel at liberty to discuss whatever private conversation she and her father had had about why they didn’t want a Killarny horse running in their derby this year.
Whatever Sara had to say about the matter, I knew the truth of it. It was a feud between our fathers, one that had grown even more bitter as the years had gone by, at least on the part of Ken Waters. I thought that somewhere along the way my father had given up the enmity he had felt toward his onetime best friend. He must have because he had gone on with his life as if nothing had happened, and I couldn’t imagine him being able to do that if he had operated any other way. Whatever was up with Ken was his own thing, something he was carrying around with him from a time before I was born. There was nothing I could do to change the way the man felt, no matter if I thought the feelings were justified or not.
