by Jana DeLeon
“So where did he get the money for the prepper stuff?” Ida Belle asked.
Gertie shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess his allowance.”
Ida Belle sighed. “What has happened to our society?”
“That question is as loaded as Gertie’s handbag,” I said. “You don’t have any preppers in Sinful?”
“In a manner of speaking, probably half the population is sitting on six months of food and a pile of ammunition equal to that of a small military reserve,” Ida Belle said. “But they don’t consider it prepping for anything. They consider that normal living.”
“So in case of an apocalyptic situation, Sinful might be the last town standing,” I said. “There’s an interesting thought. Or frightening, depending on which side of things you’re looking from.”
I shook my head of thoughts that would lead down long, scary paths and studied the terrain. “I think the best position for us to take is up on the embankment. We have a clear view of anyone approaching from the bayou, and that way no one can flank us from above.”
Ida Belle nodded and stepped onto the dock. She eyeballed the narrow steps leading up the embankment and glanced back at Gertie.
“Maybe one of us should stay with the boat,” she said.
“I know what you’re trying to do,” Gertie said. “And it won’t work. I’m not staying down here by myself, being all bored. If we’d brought some fishing equipment, then that would be different. Besides, I can go up those steps same as you two.”
Except that I was pretty sure she couldn’t. The steps were nothing more than narrow dirt carvings into the hard part of the embankment. They were two feet wide at the most and had no rail at all. One missed step and you were falling off the embankment and into the bayou. Given that Gertie had a sense of balance that sometimes fled the building and her glasses were completely out of date, I didn’t hold out much hope that she could make it to the top without issue.
“Grab the rope from the bench,” I said. “I’ll go up first and secure it to something solid. You guys can wrap it around your waist and that way if anyone slips, they’ll have rope burns but won’t go for a dip.”
“You mean I can secure it around my waist,” Gertie said. “You never think I can do anything.”
“This is not about what I think you can do or can’t do,” I said. “This is about me running a business and you working for me. I’m liable. If something happens and I didn’t take proper precautions, I could have my license pulled.”
Gertie grumbled some more but bent over to retrieve the rope from the bench.
“Good one,” Ida Belle whispered.
I headed up the steps with the rope and Gertie’s purse, which was so heavy it had me thinking about the contents, something I try not to do. I wrapped the rope around the trunk of a cypress tree near the back of the house. That way as Gertie went up the steps, I could take up the slack. So if she slipped, it wasn’t that far to fall. I tossed the rope down to Ida Belle and she pulled a flotation belt around Gertie’s chest and under her arms, then secured the rope through it.
“Good idea,” I said. At least the vest would prevent damage from the rope in case of a slip.
“I feel ridiculous,” Gertie said.
“State agencies don’t care about ridiculous,” Ida Belle said. “They only care about liability. We have to do some things differently now that we’re official.”
“You’re telling me you’re going to wear this contraption when it’s your turn?” Gertie asked.
“Absolutely,” Ida Belle said.
“Fine,” Gertie grumbled, and headed for the steps.
“Take it nice and slow,” I said. “You’ll need to turn your feet out a bit like a duck for some of the really shallow ones.”
Gertie started up the steps, taking things slowly and walking like a duck when needed. I took up the slack as she went, making sure I had a bit of tension on the rope at all times but not enough to throw her off balance.
She was halfway up when things went all Gertie.
I saw her foot slip as soon as she stepped up. The dirt must have been a little loose. She grabbed for the embankment, but there wasn’t anything there except a wall of dirt. She teetered for a second, then pitched off the side of the steps. I dug in my heels, bracing myself for the yank that I knew was coming, but my tennis shoes were no match for the loose, dry dirt. I slid almost to the edge of the steps before I whirled around, wrapping the rope around my waist then dropping to the ground to prevent myself from being pulled over.
I peered over the ledge and saw Gertie swinging back and forth alongside the embankment, just inches from the water. When she got close to the dock, Ida Belle tried to grab her, but she was just out of reach. In usual fashion, instead of being terrified that I was the only thing keeping her from dropping into the abyss, Gertie was having a grand time, waving her hands and hooting as though she was on a ride at an amusement park.
“She’s dangling just above the water line,” Ida Belle yelled. “Get her up before a gator thinks she’s bait.”
I managed to turn around in the dirt, then positioned my feet against a tree and pushed. At the same time, I rolled over again, pulling the rope around me in another loop in order to lift Gertie high enough that the gators couldn’t reach her. I did another push and roll and felt the rope tighten around my waist so hard that I was afraid I was going to lose my lunch. What the heck were women thinking wearing corsets? One medium-sized rope around me and I thought I was dying.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, preparing for another round.
“I see you’re following instructions, as usual.” Carter’s voice sounded above me.
I looked up and grimaced. “You want to help me get her back up or would you prefer her odds in the bayou?”
Carter’s eyes widened and he rushed to the ledge to peer over, cursing when he saw Gertie swinging back and forth. He grabbed the rope and pulled it enough to get me back from the ledge, then looked over again.
“We can’t pull her up,” he said. “She’ll come up under the lip of the embankment.”
I tried to get up but there was too much tension on the rope. So instead, I rolled myself out of it as Carter stared down at me, shaking his head. As the rope came loose from my waist, I grabbed it with my hands and sat up.
“Stop pulling!” Ida Belle yelled. “That life jacket was intended to float an adult body, not dangle one like a parachute. It’s going to tear if you pull on it much more. I’ll position the boat underneath her and you can lower her in.”
I managed to get myself into a standing position and looked up at Carter, who was shaking his head.
“We were trying to help,” I said. “And then Gertie Gertie’d.”
“And you’re well aware of her propensity to do so.”
“Which is why I had her harnessed. Having her walk up those steps without a harness would have turned out much worse.”
“Why were you walking up the steps at all?” he asked. “I told you to get out of here.”
“Yeah, well, that warning came about a minute too late. When I got off the phone with you, I saw something moving up on the embankment. I ran up but they got away in a car. I heard it tear out of here but didn’t get close enough to see it.”
Carter glanced at the camp, a worried expression on his face. “No idea on the vehicle?”
“Nothing with a big engine,” I said. “Didn’t have that depth of sound. But beyond that, I can’t tell you anything else. Did you pass anyone on your way here?”
“Not on the road to the camp. I was headed up the highway when I got your call, which is why I got here so quickly.” He blew out a breath. “Apparently, not quickly enough.”
“Anyway, the lurker is the reason we didn’t leave. I was afraid there might be something in the car—something they dropped maybe—and they’d have a chance to retrieve it if no one was here. The best vantage point for guarding and for our own safety was atop the embankment.”
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sp; He nodded. “I appreciate you taking ownership, but I don’t want you putting yourself at risk for things that are my responsibility.”
“Do you really think the odds were in the killer’s favor? Gertie brought her purse.”
“Maybe I was worried about the killer.”
“Probably a better use of time.”
“Hey!” Ida Belle yelled. “Stop your jawing and give me some slack before Gertie pulls an armpit muscle.”
I rose and repositioned my grip on the rope. Carter stood close to the edge of the embankment with me behind and we let it out a little at a time until finally, we heard Gertie plunk down into the boat. Then there was a big splash.
“She missed!” Ida Belle yelled. “Man overboard!”
Carter and I immediately dug in our heels and pulled the rope again, then moved forward to look over the edge. Gertie had taken a full dip into the bayou and was wet from head to toe. The tide was moving the boat and Ida Belle had a hold of Gertie, struggling to get her into the boat or the boat underneath her—whichever way you wanted to look at it.
“It’s like fishing, except with people as bait,” Carter said.
Finally, Ida Belle managed to maneuver Gertie over the boat and Carter and I released the line completely, dropping her into the bottom of the boat with a thud.
“Perfect!” Ida Belle shouted, and Carter tossed the rope to Ida Belle. We both looked over to see Gertie pulling herself up from the bottom of the boat, then wrestling to get the life preserver off her.
“Perfect? Are you kidding me?” Gertie groused. “My perm is shot. That water is way too cold for swimming, and I’m going to have a bruise on my butt the size of Texas.”
“Stop your complaining,” Ida Belle said. “Your butt’s not even that big. Arizona maybe.”
“You say the nicest things,” Gertie said.
I grinned. “Did you find someone to lift the car?”
“Yeah. One of the smaller drilling companies agreed to help me out. It’s going to be pricey, but they’ve got the equipment to do it right and fast. If I tried to cobble together some locals to give it a go, I couldn’t be certain of the outcome.”
And he wasn’t about to call in the state for assistance. He didn’t say it, but I heard it anyway. “Cool. So how soon will they be here?”
“They’re mostly shut down for the holiday, so no equipment is out. They said give them an hour or so to get some guys in and then they’d be on their way.”
“So they’re coming today. That’s great.”
He nodded. “With any luck, we’ll get it up before dark.”
“I don’t suppose you need some help keeping watch.”
“If I tell you no, will you leave quietly?”
“I’m not sure we can do quietly. We keep trying but something always prevents it. And I can’t guarantee you we won’t sit at the end of the bayou to cover you, unless you’ve got backup coming. Two can play the ‘you need to watch your back’ game.”
“Fine. Stick around, but Gertie is staying down there.”
I looked over the embankment as Ida Belle secured the boat to the dock.
“The equipment to lift the car is on its way,” I called down. “Carter says we can stay as long as Gertie doesn’t try to come up the steps again.”
“Why would I want to come up the steps?” Gertie said. “The car is down here. This is a front-row seat. Just toss my purse down.”
“No way,” I said. “For all I know you have something in there that will explode on impact.”
Gertie scrunched her brow. “No. Wait. Yeah, maybe keep it up there.”
Carter gave me a pained look.
“I need to get out of these wet clothes or I’m going to get sick,” Gertie said. “I can dry the clothes and myself out here on the dock.”
Carter’s expression shifted from pain to one of utter dismay.
“You are not going to put your naked butt on display for God and everyone to view,” Ida Belle said.
“God sees it every time I shower,” Gertie said. “And there’s nobody else here to catch a glimpse except you guys and you’ve already been down that road.”
“Which is exactly why we don’t want to travel it again,” Ida Belle said.
“Fine,” Gertie said. “Fortune, open up my purse and toss me down my red bikini. Don’t let Carter see into the side pocket or the middle one. You know what, just move away from him while you look. And don’t send down the blue bikini. It crawls up my butt.”
I didn’t even want to think about why Gertie had a bikini in her purse, much less two. But it spared Ida Belle the bare butt portion of the afternoon, although I was betting that Ida Belle wouldn’t consider herself spared anything.
I finally located the red bikini and tossed the scraps over the side. Ida Belle handed them to Gertie, then turned her back to her.
“Let me know when you’re dressed again,” Ida Belle said.
“You mean decent again?” Gertie asked, and I saw her grin.
“There’s nothing decent about any of this,” Ida Belle said.
I stepped back from the edge, not wanting to spectate on the disrobing events any more than Ida Belle. Carter had fled a good ten feet away and kept glancing at Gertie’s purse, clearly trying to decide if the law of professional ethics required him to search it.
“How do you want to handle guard duty?” I asked.
“I’ll stay down here with Gertie,” Ida Belle called out. “You two cover land. I’ve got water.”
I looked at Carter. “You have to admit, we’re better backup than Deputy Breaux.”
“If someone needs to be shot, sure,” he said. “But we kinda like to maintain that as a last resort.”
“You’ve also got Gertie in a bikini,” Ida Belle said. “That’s a deterrent if I ever saw one.”
“I know your back is turned,” Gertie said, “so I’m telling you that I’m giving you the finger.”
“I can do other things besides shoot people,” I argued. “I found the car, didn’t I?”
“Yeah. You want to run me through how that happened?”
I explained my thought process involving the car and finished with Ida Belle and Gertie providing me with a list of places you could set one off into the bayou to disappear.
“We started here because it’s Nickel’s place,” I finished.
Carter raised one eyebrow. “I thought your client was innocent.”
“I believe he is, but if you were the killer and you had the option to point the police in someone else’s direction when you ditched the car, wouldn’t you hedge your bets?”
He was silent for several seconds, then sighed.
“I’m sorry it’s a local,” I said, knowing exactly what the sigh was about.
He nodded. “Me too. This town has had enough problems lately. I was really hoping things were going to calm down. But I’m starting to wonder if trouble is just here to stay.”
“In all fairness, some of the trouble had been here for years.”
“That’s true enough, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it. This used to be a town of simple people. Honest people. Get up early. Go to work. Eat dinner with your family. Fish on the weekends. And it was all a smoke screen.”
“Not all of it. I think the majority of people are as you described. At least the ones I’ve met. But the people who deviated from the norm also grew up here. They know how to blend with the average folk.”
He reached out and gave my hand a squeeze. “I know you’re right. Even small societies within societies have always had their issues and scandals. I guess when I was overseas, Sinful looked like Mayberry. I suppose I’m still trying to reconcile myself to reality.”
“Compared to the Middle East, Chicago is Mayberry. People who’ve never been to war can’t begin to conceptualize what it’s really like.”
“Are you trying to cheer me up by telling me another murder is no big deal?”
“Murder is always a big deal. But in the big
scheme of things, we’re still as close to a slice of Mayberry as we’re getting. I mean, if you wave a magic wand and make Mayberry the strangest place on earth.”
He was silent again for a while, then finally nodded. “Let’s go see if there’s any evidence left where that car went off the embankment.”
Chapter Thirteen
It took two hours for the oil field guys to show up with the equipment to lift the car, and another hour-plus to get the car up on the small barge. Lucky for everyone involved, Gertie’s clothes had dried and she was back to looking the way a senior lady boating in November should look. Although I had to agree with her on the perm. Her hair was going to need a serious fix.
The actual acquisition of the car was uneventful and I found myself somewhat disappointed when it was all over. I’m not sure what I’d expected, but once the barge started pulling away, I couldn’t help but feel a bit let down.
“You did good work,” Ida Belle said, cluing in on my mood. “The car itself was never the point of this exercise. Proving your theory was. And proving your theory eliminates the need to investigate what Venus had been up to in New Orleans.”
“Yes and no,” I said. “The location of the car pretty much guarantees the killer is a local, but something sent Venus back to Sinful. I’d still like to know what. Especially since Starlight showed up expecting some sort of payout. She knows something. A woman like that doesn’t appear unless there’s something in it for her.”
Ida Belle frowned. “That’s true. Lord knows, we were no particular friends of Starlight. No one was, really. But I suppose she lost a daughter same as Percy. It wouldn’t be good manners to offer Percy help but not Starlight.”
I smiled. “You think she’s at the motel?”
Gertie nodded. “If Starlight thinks there’s something here to be had, then she’s still hanging around. We’ll track her down and get what we can out of her.”
“I don’t think a casserole is going to get her lips moving,” I said.
