by Remi Grey
“No.” I was moaning hard now; I couldn’t find the words to say anything other than to let my screams filled the room.
"Fuck, Jenna." He gripped my lower back tightly as he continued. My feet had completely left the floor now. We both ended up cumin together — the pillow doing nothing to muffle the sound as he dug his nails into my back.
Chapter 11
Ian
The sun just started peeking through the windows of the hotel room when I was woken up by the sound of my phone buzzing. I groaned and looked over at the screen. It was another text from Tarryn telling me that she was now starting to worry.
She had messaged me several times last night — an assortment of winky faces and questions asking if either of us would be home. I looked over at Jenna’s sleeping figure. She was lying on her side, her hair still slightly holding onto its curls from the previous night.
I watched her shoulders twitch slightly, and I jumped out of bed. I needed to shower and get out of there. There was our first away game tomorrow evening, and I had to leave today for it. I wouldn't be home for a while.
After clearing it with Tarryn and the front desk, I wrote a quick note for Jenna. I had rented the hotel for another night so that she could stay and just relax. Tarryn had Lily, and after staying up late, just talking with Jenna, I had learned that if there's anyone who needs a break, it's her. I figured this would be the least I could do since I had to jet off, and I didn't know when I’d be back.
Before I stepped out of the room, I looked at her once more, still seemingly sound asleep. Did I wake her? Did I give her a kiss on her head? In the end, I did neither. I placed the note on my pillow and tiptoed out, letting the door fall gently click behind me.
I had a long drive ahead of me, and since I was leaving before most people had made their first cup of coffee — the roads were clear. I wasn't nervous about the game. This was my 11th season in the NFL, and we had a solid team. Even the rookies we had were ranked in the top 25.
I just couldn't get Jenna out of my head as I pictured last night. I needed to focus. I needed there not to be any distractions. There were so many reasons that I was avoiding any sort of relationship or attachment. Those reasons I really didn't want to admit to myself, not before a big game. I suddenly found myself cursing Tarryn as I merged onto the highway. She had pushed me so hard to meet Jenna, and for what? I knew I couldn't get involved with anyone and with what had happened between us — I didn't know if things would go back to being the same in the house. We had such a good dynamic going, and Lily loved her. She would be crushed if I had to let her go. I slammed my hands angrily against the steering wheel as I approached the airport.
This weekend would be one of the toughest ones to get through, and this just made it that much harder.
I honestly had no idea what I was going to do, and as I looked out at the sun beginning to rise, I knew Jenna would just be waking up to an empty bed. In all relationships, whether they were longer or temperamental, in the years following Hillary’s death, I found myself being one big disappointment who couldn’t commit.
At least Jenna would realize this sooner rather than later. She would realize this the second she woke up and I wasn’t there. I couldn’t be there. Now, I needed to man up and decide what the hell I was going to do about the predicament I put us all in.
Chapter 12
Jenna
“Touuuuuuuuuuuuchdown!" Lilly jumped up and down. Tossing her pom-poms up in the air with such force that when they came back down, they looked like blue and silver meteoroids.
“Lily, darling.” Ian’s mother warned her. "An octave lower, and please be careful where you throw those.”
“Sorry, grandma." Lily sat back down, cross-legged on the floor, her head resting against her grandmother’s legs. She didn’t like to be called grandmother, however. Everyone was instructed to call her Rose. Everyone, except for me. I had to refer to her as Mrs. Jadowicz. I did know that she was recently remarried, so perhaps she just wanted to hear her last name being used as much as possible.
"Could you get me a refill this please, Jenny?" She rattled what little ice was left in her cocktail as Tarryn shot me an apologetic look. I knew that I could technically tell her no, but that didn't feel right. I was an employee after all, so who was I to think she’d treat me any differently. She didn’t know I had slept with her son, and that was something I was also trying to forget.
I heard the shrieks followed by loud cheers from the girls in the living room as I added a splash of olive juice to her drink. I peeked around the corner. Ian, unable to complete a pass, ran the ball for 20 yards. I only knew this because I was able to catch the replay. My heart did a small flip, as it did each time he appeared on the screen. The game wasn't really close. Ian's team was up by 17, and there were 5 minutes left in the fourth quarter.
I returned and gave Rose her glass.
“Tell you what, dear.” She said as she took the glass, her long and shellacked bright pink nails tapped against it as she spoke. “The game will be over in a few minutes. Can you get Lily’s bath ready?”
“I can do it, mother.” Tarryn stood up. “Let her watch some of the game. I need to stretch my legs anyway."
"Oh, don't be ridiculous." She scolded. "You should watch your brother win this game. Jenny doesn't mind."
"Her name is Jenna," Tarryn said as she shot me another apologetic look. I hadn’t told her a single thing about what had happened, and somehow, I felt like she knew everything.
“It’s okay.” I walked down the long hall and tried my best to drown out the cheering that happened again as I gathered Lily’s pajamas and a towel. I knew the game was over when I heard screaming, but I stayed sitting, watching as the water filled up the tub. The soft pitter-patter of feet drew my attention towards the door a minute later.
“Daddy won!” Lily announced excitedly.
"That's awesome," I said as excitedly as I could manage.
“Could you get me my pink star towel, please?” Lily asked as she got into the tub. “It’s the warmest and fuzziest of them all.”
"Sure." I had seen it in the dryer earlier, which meant I would have to pass the living room once more. My footsteps froze when I heard Ian giving the reporters a few words after the game.
“So we know today is a tough day for you emotionally -- it being the anniversary of your wife’s death. And now to come here and have a win like this -- how did you do it?” the reporter asked.
"Of course, I have to thank my teammates today who not only played great but have also been so supportive. But, there were also some special people watching from back home.”
My breath caught in my throat as I studied him, his hair was tousled from the helmet, and his cheeks were flushed with color.
"My mom, sister, and daughter couldn't be here today, but knowing they were watching, allowed me to push myself to make them proud. Love you guys." He told her before walking off camera.
I instantly felt my eyes prick with tears. I didn’t feel well suddenly, and I needed to get out of there.
I was able to pull Tarryn aside without letting Rose eavesdrop. I gave her the towel and told her that I needed just a few minutes alone after suddenly feeling light-headed.
Tarryn whispered something to Rose – covering for me even though she didn’t have to.
"We can put Lily to bed," Rose called after me. “We should have some family time together while I’m here. Why don’t you go lay down?”
I was surprised that Rose was actually trying to be helpful, but if anything, that stung more.
I laid down in the spare bedroom that I had taken over, for the most part, even bringing my favorite fuzzy blanket from home. It was small comfort as I cried myself to sleep. The last thing I pictured before sleep overtook me was the dazzling flashes of pom-poms. Maybe Ian was with a cheerleader right now, celebrating after a big win. I didn't care, I told myself.
It was the hushed voices of an argument that woke me up. I hadn't realiz
ed I had fallen asleep for that long, but the alarm clock on the dresser informed me that it was 3:30 in the morning. The voices were getting heated right outside of my shut door.
“What you’re doing to that poor girl’s emotions is not okay. You should have seen her watching the game this evening.” Tarryn’s cool and accusatory tone carried easily into my room.
Ian’s voice was a little bit softer, and I had to get out of bed and lean against the door to hear.
I knew I shouldn't be doing that, and whatever I was about to hear would hurt. But I needed to hear. I couldn't just stay in this waiting period of emotional distress forever.
"I've done nothing wrong. In case you forgot — you're the one who pushed me to hire her, and I knew something like this would happen. You never fucking listen."
“I never fucking listen? I listen to you more than anyone else. That’s how I knew that you needed someone like her in your life. She was the first person to make you feel something and fine if you wanna throw that all away and fire her like you seem to have your mind set upon, then do it. That's on you. I'm done trying to help you." I heard her footsteps head the other way, followed by the opening and closing of what I guessed was the front door.
So that was it, I was fired now. And also, I was in an awkward predicament. Did I lay there till morning and wait till a formal firing or just quietly leave now? I knew in my heart I couldn’t just lay there. Although 3:30 in the morning didn’t seem like a proper time to get on with your life – maybe it was? I threw open the door and caught Ian by surprise. He was leaning against the wall and straightened up when he saw me approaching.
"I'm sorry," I said impulsively. Everything felt like it was my fault, and as much as I just wanted to push by him and swear I was done, I knew I couldn't do that. I had to say something.
"There's nothing to be sorry for," Ian said. "Nobody means for these things to happen."
"No," I said softly. "But, can I at least tell Lily goodbye in the morning? I don’t have to tell her I’m leaving for good or anything. I just can’t leave without…” I trailed off as tears threatened to spill again. I had a headache from crying, and I really thought I was out of tears until I heard this conversation. I brushed them away as Ian took a step towards me.
"Don't," I said sternly to him. "You don't get to do that."
“Do what?” Ian asked, a confused expression crossing his face. “Jenna, I don’t want you to go anywhere.”
"I heard your conversation," I admitted stopping him from backpedaling any further. “You said you didn’t want me as a nanny anymore.”
“You’re right.” He reached into his pocket, grabbing something in a closed fist that he extended towards me.
He grabbed my hand with his other, making me lay my palm flat out in front of him.
Into it, he dropped a shiny, bright pink rock with the words “Follow Your Heart” written neatly on it.
It was the rock. The rock he was protective of that he wouldn't let me take all those months ago. God, that felt like forever ago.
"I don't want you to be my nanny anymore because I want you to be mine. Be my girlfriend." Ian finally said after both of us studied the rock in silence.
Ian stepped forward first for a kiss. I didn't know what would happen next or where we'd go from here, but none of that mattered at this moment. All that mattered was a shared kiss in a dimly lit hallway and a painted rock which symbolized the one thing in this world that nobody would ever fault you for – following your heart.
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About the Author
Remi Grey loves to write sweet, steamy, and spicy romances. She is obsessed with all forms of romance with a happily ever after. As an indie author, your support means everything. Thank you so much for reading.
