by Sarah Delany
Epilogue
One year later
-- Tamsyn --
With the weight of my textbooks I’ve just purchased, securely in my new backpack, I follow the path to take us to the library. The hustle and bustle of orientation is overwhelming to say the least. Even with it being my second year at University, the amount of people on campus is a lot to get used to. Nerves get the better of me as Penny and I wait in line for our new student IDs. They have a system worked out so they process them fast and the ID is ready in a matter of minutes. When I’m handed mine, I visibly cringe as Penny peers over my shoulder and lets out a cackle at my expense.
“It’s even worse than last year,” I tell her, deflating.
“Who cares, it’s not Uni unless you have a crappy ID photo, right?” she says, trying to make me feel better as we wait for hers. When she gets handed hers a minute later, my mouth drops open.
“Of course you’d say that when your photo is flawless,” I accuse, staring at the perfect smiling face of Penny which she holds in her hands. This only makes her laugh more.
“Come on, let’s go meet JP over by the club sign up stalls. You think you’ll sign up for anything this year?” she asks, leading us to the front of campus where they usually set up all the stalls.
“You think there will be anything worth signing up for?” I ask.
“Who knows, but we’re Uni students. The world is our oyster. It’s time to dream big dreams and all that garbage,” she says, which has us both laughing.
“That’s the same speech you gave me last year,” I tell her, clutching my stomach.
“Maybe I need to mix it up as you didn’t sign up for anything last year. The speech obviously is a dud,” she says. “So have you heard from Tate lately?” she asks, as we continue on our way.
“Yeah, the last email he sent he said he was going to travel to France for a bit and then maybe cruise around the Mediterranean. He didn’t sound too sure. He’s enjoying himself though and that’s the main thing. I’m happy for him,” I tell her, meaning it. I am happy for him although I miss him terribly. But this past year I’ve learnt to rely on myself more and it’s a great feeling to know I can cope better now. He keeps in touch with phone calls and emails and he seriously sounds like he’s been bitten by the travelling bug. I can’t blame him, his adventures do sound amazing.
“It’s a shame Scott’s scholarship has taken him to his fancy law school and not here with us. I do miss not having him around all the time,” Penny pouts, and I can’t help but feel the same.
“He’ll visit when he can next. And with social media these days, it isn’t that bad.” I tell her.
“True,” she says. I glance her way and notice the moment her eyes widen and a huge smile spreads across her face. “There’s JP,” she says, pointing into the crowd, spotting him looking at different stalls. The moment she gets within range so he can hear her she yells, “JP,” which has his head turning our way, with his own goofy smile on his face.
He races over and kisses Penny on the lips, flinging his arm casually around her shoulders. It’s great to see them finally so open about their relationship. I know they kept it a secret for so long at school because JP was worried about what would happen to her friendship with me if they broke up, but I always knew they were good for each other.
“You find any good clubs?” I ask.
“Not down this end, they are all political and media groups which don’t interest me. Maybe I should join a social sports team,” he says, lost in thought.
“Is Rafe around?” I ask, missing him. He convinced his parents to let him live on campus this year and have the whole university experience. We all still worry about Rafe but he’s in a much better place now and he’s still on his medication and going to therapy regularly.
“He’s over in the dorms getting sorted but he said he will meet us here later,” JP tells us, as he leads us past the political stalls and down to the other end. Students are everywhere checking out different clubs and getting talked into signing up. You can pick out the newbies by the overwhelmed expressions on their faces. We all had them last year. There’s stalls for everything. Baking clubs, writing clubs, drama clubs and even volunteering clubs.
“There’s actually a club over there I thought might tickle your fancy Ice Queen,” JP says. His use of my old nickname has my own smile widening at him as I follow the direction of his stare. My breath hitches as my feet take me to the club he suggested. The huge black banner with, ‘Star Gazing,’ written in white, hangs from above.
“Hi there, would you like to sign up?” one of the peppy girls behind the stall asks me, holding out a pen. Before I can second guess myself, I sign my name and number.
“It’s just a social thing and we get together randomly too,” the other girl says, smiling at me.
“Sounds perfect,” I say, my gaze falling to my star bracelet, jingling on my wrist. The bracelet and necklace that I never take off. Under the bracelet on the inside of my wrist, I rub my thumb back and forth over the delicate tattoo I got, right after Tate left. It’s the second star he drew for me. The one where he left a gap so I could let the light in. It’s been a constant reminder of his words and has helped me when he wasn’t around to remind me himself.
Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I return her smile and that’s when I feel the familiar prickles at the back of my neck. My breathing picks up as I say goodbye to the girls and turn around, searching the crowd. I scan face after face but I don’t see the familiar green eyes or blond hair that I love anywhere. It must just be wishful thinking since he was on my mind.
I’m about to walk off to find JP and Penny when I hear the girl say, “Would you like to sign up?”
“Sure would. Stars always remind me to shine,” the deeper but familiar voice says, and as my heart skips a beat, I turn around.
“Well we are happy that you’ll be joining us,” the peppy girl says, and I catch his breathtaking smile before he turns to face me fully.
“I’m happy I’ll be joining you too,” he says, as his smile grows, shoulders shrugging at me. His blond hair is now longer and tied up at the nape of his neck and he has a bit of facial hair, neatly trimmed across his jaw and chin, making him look older than I remember. His body has more muscles than he did back in school. He looks like a man now instead of the boy who left.
“You’re here?” I ask, unbelieving.
“Didn’t I tell you my feet would always lead me back to you, Sweetness,” Tate says, and I lurch myself at him, wrapping my arms and legs around him tightly. Laughing, he catches me effortlessly.
“You enrolled?” I ask him, still not believing he’s here.
“Yeah I managed to get in with a late enrollment,” he says, staring into my eyes.
“What about travelling and finishing Quinn’s bucket list?” I ask.
“I think Quinn would be more than happy with what I managed to accomplish over the past year. Plus the stars aren’t the same without you by my side,” he says, and I can’t help the sigh that escapes my lips. He reaches up, while holding me with one hand and grabs my wrist from around his neck. He must have noticed my new tattoo which I never mentioned to him. He brings it to his lips with a soft smile gracing his face. “I love you,” he softly says.
“I love you, more,” I return, closing the distance with my lips and kissing the only guy my heart will ever love, knowing he feels exactly the same. My first love and last love, all wrapped up in one.
As we break apart he says, “So I guess that makes us two percenters,” with his blinding smile directed at me.
I tilt my head to the side, confused, “Huh?” I say.
“You once said only two percentage of high school relationships last so that puts us in the two percent, because from this day on, I’m never leaving you again,” he says, which fills my heart.
“Is that so?” I
tease.
“It is,” he says, looking into my eyes and I nod, seeing the truth in his eyes.
-- Tate --
Damn I missed this girl. Travelling around Europe and ticking off things on Quinn’s list was great but there was always a niggling feeling that something was missing. That something I’m now holding in my arms. My mind wanders to Quinn and I know she would have loved to have seen everything I did but she would also want me to be happy. And since she’s been gone, I haven’t been able to find true happiness unless Tamsyn is with me.
It’s still hard living without her and having happy moments where I wish she was here. I know Quinn loved me and she would want me to be happy and living my life, so that’s what I’m trying to do. I still grieve for Quinn but as time goes on, the grief changes. It started as an overwhelming consuming void that I was drowning in and I had to work to pull myself out of. Now it’s still there, it’s just more of a low thumping feeling in my heart that occasionally gets triggered but which I can handle. They say time heals all wounds but I feel this is one wound that will forever be open, never fully healed and occasionally weeping. I did lose a part of myself when she died and I don’t think I’ve ever really gotten it back, nor do I want it, if it means I can feel connected to her still.
Grief may have been the foundation of my relationship with Tamsyn but it’s not what kept us coming back to each other. Love does that. Love keeps pulling us back together. It was hard to leave her behind and go on my overseas adventure, pursuing a dream that was Quinn’s and not mine. I felt I owed it to Quinn to fulfill it for her since she never got the chance to do it herself. She never got to see the amazing sights she dreamt of and every time I checked one off her list, I wished she would have held on for that list. I wish she could have seen how much there was to live for. The list in turn started to weigh on me and I knew I had to start living for myself instead of following Quinn’s dream. I had my own dream to pursue. Tamsyn. Quinn would understand. She would want me to follow my heart.
I meant it when I said my feet would always lead me back to Tamsyn. My feet and my heart. It’s as if she holds a part of my soul and whenever we’ve been apart too long, she tugs on that part and it draws me back to her. Like magic. For the rest of my days no matter what, I’ll always let my feet lead me back to her, because that’s where I belong. With my magical green fairy. My Sweetness.
The End!
Rafe’s story
COMING SOON!!!
Notes from the Author
Wow. What a journey Tate and Tamsyn have taken me on. If you’ve read this far I hope I did their story justice. This story was born from the grief I experienced at losing my dad, my sister and one of my best friends Jonathon, all within the span of ten months in 2019.
It is incredibly hard to grieve for one person let alone three all within a short time frame. Every day there are thoughts of each of them that will flit through my mind. Or some days I will be consumed with thoughts of one of them and then the next moment, it will be one of the others. So my mind at times can turn into a pile of mush from thoughts of them.
After Jonathon committed suicide, I needed something else to help me cope and I found an outlet by writing letters to them. It was this way of coping that led to my story forming. So I do mean it when I say that this story would have never come about without them. It just pains me that they aren’t here to read it themselves.
I know that sometimes in Tate and Tamsyn’s journeys, there is a lot of pain and heartache. If it resonated with you because of your own loss, I thank you for continuing to read because it means I am not alone in how I feel in my grief. I hope you enjoyed the connection between Tate and Tamsyn. Every person deserves someone who sees through them and sees their soul inside, especially when that soul is screaming for help. I hope if you haven’t already that, you find your own Tate or Tamsyn to spend your life with.
I know most of you fell in love with Rafe as much as I did and wanted to hear more of his story. This trilogy was the story of Tate and Tamsyn and Rafe deserves his own time in the spotlight so I’ve written his story in a separate book. His story will be released shortly and it will hopefully cure your curiosity about Rafe and answer any lingering questions you may have about him.
Thank you again for taking a chance on me as it isn’t easy on an indie author starting out. If you liked these books, follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Goodreads to keep up to date with new releases as I have more books to come. And please leave a review as it would mean so much to me as it does help.
Remember to keep shining and let the light in.
Buckets of love, Sarah Delany xx
Acknowledgements
To Rebecca Andrews and Michael Pati Fuiava, thank you so much for sticking with me and helping me make decisions. You’ve been the backbone of this journey for me and I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you two to help me along. I will forever be indebted to you.
To Mum and Wayne Ayers, thank you for reading my story and encouraging me as well as offering feedback. Your thoughts helped my books reach another level and I can’t thank you enough. Sorry for all the tears my emotions on paper have caused you.
To the members of my launch team. The ones who were with me for book one, book two or all three, you are truly wonderful for taking the time to read and review my books. As well as all the sharing of posts. I couldn’t have done it without you. Kylie Fraser, Germayne, Lena, Chrys, Connie, Rita, Sarah Jackson, Donna, Kitan, Bumbum, Naz, Kylie Malota, Matt Froggatt and Rochelle, I am honoured to have had you on this journey with me. It has meant the world to me.
To TJ and our boys, I love you more than you will probably ever know and I couldn’t be any more blessed than to do this crazy journey of life with you all. TJ, you are my very own Tate xx.
Playlist for ‘Don’t Fade. Breathe Easy’
1. True Colours by Anna Kendrick and Justin Timberlake
2. Everybody Hurts by R.E.M
3. Through the Rain by Mariah Carey
4. When I Look at You by Miley Cyrus
5. Yesterday by Leona Lewis
6. Fight Song by Rachel Platten
7. Never Give Up on Us by Connie Talbot
8. Never Not by Lauv
9. 10,000 Hours by Dan + Shay with Justin Bieber
10. Rainbow by Casey Musgraves
11. Better Together by Jack Johnson
12. You Set My World on Fire by Loving Caliber and Selestine
13. Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding
14. Marvin Gaye by Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor
15. Wild Things by Alessia Cara
16. I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston
17. Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C
18. Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts
19. Falling Like the Stars by James Arthur
20. All of the Stars by Ed Sheeran
21. 11:11 by Jae Jin
22. Home by Michael Buble
https://spoti.fi/33zra7E
Feedback
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About the Author
‘Don’t Fade. Breathe Easy’ is Sarah Delany’s third novel and is the final book in the TNT trilogy. Her next release will be a spin off about the character of Rafe from the TNT Trilogy.
She is one of eight siblings, has a loving partner and is a sta
y at home mother to their four young boys. Writing this novel was a therapeutic way for Sarah to deal with the pain and grief she suffered in 2019 after losing not only her father but also her sister and one of her best friends. She’s a New Zealander who currently resides in Brisbane, Australia.
