by John Galt
CHAPTER VII
My grandfather having, as I have told, a compassion for the sillyaffection wherewith the honest man of Crail still regarded his wantonwife, told him the circumstantials of his adventure with the stripling;without, however, letting wot he had discovered that the invitation wasfrom her; the which was the case, for the damsel who looked out at thewindow was no other than the giglet he had seen in her lodging when hewent thither with Sir David Hamilton, and he proposed to thedisconsolate husband that he should be his friend in the adventure;meaning thereby to convince the unhappy man, by the evidence of his owneyes and ears, that her concubinage with the Antichrist was a blessedriddance to him and his family.
At first Master Kilspinnie had no zest for any such frolic, for so itseemed to him, and he began to think my grandfather's horror at themartyrdom of the aged saint but a long-fac't hypocrisy; nevertheless hewas wrought upon to consent; and they sat plotting and contriving inwhat manner they should act their several parts, my grandfatherpretending great fear and apprehension at the thoughts of himself, astranger, going alone into the traps of a house where there were sicforerunners of shame and signs of danger. At last he proposed that theyshould go together and spy about the precincts of the place, and try todiscover if there was no other entrance or outgate to the house than theway by which the stripling conducted him, though well he remembered thesallyport, where the fat friar kept watch, eating the pasty.
Accordingly they went forth from the vintner's, and my grandfather, asif he knew not the way, led his companion round between the priory andthe sea, till they came near the aforesaid sallyport, when, mountingupon a stone, he affected to discover that the house of the madam stoodin the garden within, and that the sallyport could be no less than aback yett thereto.
While they were speaking concerning the same, my grandfather observedthe wicket open in the gate, and guessing therefrom that it was onespying to forewarn somebody within who wanted to come out unremarked, hemade a sign to his companion, and they both threw themselves flat on theground, and hirsled down the rocks to conceal themselves. Presently thegate was opened, and then out came the fat friar, and looked east andwest, holding the door in his hand; and anon out came his Grace theAntichrist, hirpling with a staff in his hand, for he was lame with thatmonkish malady called the gout. The friar then drew the yett to, andwalked on towards the castle, with his Grace leaning on his arm. In themeantime the poor man of Crail was grinding the teeth of his rage at thesight of the cause of his sorrow, and my grandfather had a sore struggleto keep him down, and prevent him from running wud and furious at thetwo sacerdotal reprobates, for no lightlier could they be called.
Thus, without any disclosure on my grandfather's part, did MasterKilspinnie come to jealouse that the lemane who had trysted him was noother than his own faithless wife, and he smote his forehead and weptbitterly, to think how she was become so dreadless in sin. But he vowedto put her to shame; so it was covenanted between them, that in thedusk of the evening the afflicted husband should post himself near towhere they then stood, and that when my grandfather was admitted by theother entrance to the house, he should devise some reason for walkingforth into the garden, and while there admit Master Kilspinnie.
Accordingly, betimes my grandfather was ready, and the stripling, as hadbeen bargained, came for him to the vintner's, and conducted him to thehouse, where, after giving the signals before enumerated, the damselcame to the door and gave him admittance, leading him straight to theinner chamber before described, where her mistress was sitting in alanguishing posture, with the table spread for a banquet.
She embraced my grandfather with many fond protestations, and filled hima cup of hot malvesie, while her handmaid brought in divers savourydishes; but he, though a valiant young man, was not at his ease, and hethought of the poor husband and the five babies that the adultress hadleft for the foul love of the papist high-priest, and it was a chastespell and a restraining grace. Still he partook a little of the richrepast which had been prepared, and feigned so long a false pleasance,that he almost became pleased in reality. The dame, however, was herselfat times fearful, and seemed to listen if there was any knocking at thedoor, telling my grandfather that his Grace was to be back after he hadsupped at the castle. "I thought," said she, "to have had you here whenhe was at the burning of the heretic, but my gilly could not find youamong the troopers till it was owre late; for when he brought you myLord had come to solace himself after the execution. But I was sonettled to be so baulked, that I acted myself into an anger till I gothim away, not, however, without a threat of being troubled with himagain at night."
Scarcely had madam said this, when my grandfather started up and feignedto be in great terror, begging her to let him hide himself in the gardentill his Grace was come and gone. To this, with all her blandishments,the guilty woman made many obstacles, but he was fortified of the Lordwith the thoughts of her injured children, and would not be entreated,but insisted on scogging himself in the garden till the Archbishop wassent away, the hour of his coming being then near at hand. Seeing himthus peremptory, Madam Kilspinnie was obligated to conform; so he waspermitted to go into the garden, and no sooner was he there than he wentto the sallyport and admitted her husband; and well it was that he hadbeen so steadfast in his purpose, for scarcely were they moved from theyett into a honeysuckle bower hard by when they heard it again open, andin came his Grace with his corpulent pandarus, who took his seat on thebench before spoken of, to watch, while his master went into the house.
The good Bailie of Crail breathed thickly, and he took my grandfather bythe hand, his whole frame trembling with a passion of grief and rage. Inthe lapse of some four or five minutes, the giglet damsel came out ofthe house, and by the glimpse of a light from a window as she passedthey saw she had a tankard of smoking drink in her hand, with which shewent to the friar; and my grandfather and his companion, takingadvantage of this, slipped out of their hiding-place and stole softlyinto the house and reached the outer chamber that was parted frommadam's banquet bower by the arras partition. There they stopped tolisten, and heard her complaining in a most dolorous manner of greatheart-sickness, ever and anon begging the deluded prelate Hamilton totaste the feast she had prepared for him, in the hope of being able toshare it with him and the caresses of his sweet love, to which his Graceas often replied, with great condolence and sympathy, how very grievedhe was to find her in that sad and sore estate, with many other fondcajoleries, most odious to my grandfather to hear from a man so faradvanced in years, and who, by reason of the reverence of his office,ought to have had his tongue schooled to terms of piety and temperance.
The poor husband meanwhile said nothing, but my grandfather heard hisheart panting audibly, and three or four times he was obligated to brushaway his hand, for, having no arms himself, the bailie clutched at thehilt of his sword and would have drawn it from the scabbard.
The Antichrist, seeing his lemane in such great malady as she so wellfeigned, he at last, to her very earnest supplication, consented toleave her that night, and kissed her as he came away; but her husbandbroke in upon them with the rage of a hungry lion, and seizing hisGrace by the cuff of the neck, swung him away from her with suchvehemence that he fell into the corner of the room like a sack of duds.As for madam, she uttered a wild cry, and threw herself back on thecouch where she was sitting and seemed as if she had swooned, having noother device so ready to avoid the upbraidings and just reproaches ofher spouse. But she was soon roused from that fraudulent dwam by mygrandfather, who, seizing a flagon of wine, dashed it upon her face.
