by John Galt
CHAPTER LXIII
From the time of my evasion from the tolbooth, and during thecontroversy between James Gottera and the mob in the street, there was awhirlwind in my mind that made me incapable of reason. But when we hadpassed through the town-end port, and the cart had stopped at theminister's carse till I could throw off my female weeds and put on asailor's garb, provided for the occasion, tongue nor pen cannot expressthe passion wherewith my yearning soul was then affected.
The thought of having left Sarah Lochrig within bolts and bars, a readyvictim to the tyranny which so thirsted for blood, lightened within meas the lightnings of heaven in a storm. I threw myself on the ground,--Igrasped the earth,--I gathered myself as it were into a knot, and howledwith horror at my own selfish baseness. I sprung up and cried, "I willsave her yet!" and I would have run instanter to the town; but thehonest man who was with me laid his grip firmly upon my arm, and saidin a solemn manner,--
"This is no Christian conduct, Ringan Gilhaize; the Lord has notforgotten to be gracious."
I glowered upon him, as he has often since told me, with a shudder, andcried, "But I hae left Sarah Lochrig in their hands, and, like a coward,run away to save mysel."
"Compose yoursel, Ringan, and let us reason together," was his discreetreply. "It's vera true ye hae come away and left your wife as it were anhostage in the prison, but the persecutors and oppressors will respekthe courageous affection of a loving wife, and Providence will put it intheir hearts to spare her."
"And if they do not, what shall I then be? and what's to become of mybabies?--Lord, Lord, thou hast tried me beyond my strength!"
And I again threw myself on the earth, and cried that it might open andswallow me; for, thinking but of myself, I was becoming unworthy tolive.
The considerate man stood over me in compassionate silence for a season,and allowed me to rave in my frenzy till I had exhausted myself.
"Ringan," said he at last, "ye were aye respekit as a thoughtful anddiscreet character, and I'll no blame you for this sorrow; but I entreatyou to collek yersel, and think what's best to be done, for what availsin trouble the cry of alas, alas! or the shedding of many tears? Yourwife is in prison, but for a fault that will wring compassion even fraethe brazen heart of the remorseless James Sharp, and bring back theblood of humanity to the mansworn breast of Charles Stuart. But thoughit were not so, they daurna harm a hair of her head; for there arethings, man, that the cruellest dread to do for fear o' the world, evenwhen they hae lost the fear o' God. I count her far safer, Ringan, fraethe rage of the persecutors, where she lies in prison aneath their boltsand bars, than were she free in her own house; for it obligates them todeal wi' her openly and afore mankind, whose goodwill the worst ofprinces and prelates are from an inward power forced to respek; whereas,were she sitting lanerly and defenceless, wi' naebody near but only yourfour helpless wee birds, there's no saying what the gleds might do.Therefore be counselled, my frien, and dinna gi'e yoursel up utterly todespair; but, like a man, for whom the Lord has already done greatthings, mak use of the means which, in this jeopardy of a' that's saedear to you, he has so graciously put in your power."
I felt myself in a measure heartened by this exhortation, and risingfrom the ground completed the change I had begun in my apparel; but Iwas still unable to speak,--which he observing, said,--
"Hae ye considered the airt ye ought now to take, for it canna be thatye'll think of biding in this neighbourhood!"
"No; not in this land," I exclaimed; "would that I might not even inthis life!"
"Whisht! Ringan Gilhaize, that's a sinful wish for a Christian," said acompassionate voice at my side, which made us both start; and on lookinground we saw a man who, during the earnestest of our controversy, hadapproached close to us unobserved.
It was that Gospel-teacher, my fellow-sufferer, Mr Witherspoon; and hissudden apparition at that time was a blessed accident, which did more todraw my thoughts from the anguish of my affections than any thing it waspossible for James Gottera to have said.
He was then travelling in the cloud of night to the town, having, afterI parted from him in Lanerkshire, endured many hardships and perils, andhis intent was to pass to his friends, in order to raise a trifle ofmoney, to transport himself for a season into Ireland.
But James Gottera, on hearing this, interposed his opinion, and said arumour was abroad that in all ports and towns of embarkation orders weregiven to stay the departure of passengers, so that to a surety he wouldbe taken if he attempted to quit the kingdom.
By this time my mind had returned into something like a state ofsobriety; so I told him how it had been concerted between me and SarahLochrig that I should pass over to the wee Cumbrae, there to wait tillthe destroyers had passed by; for it was thought not possible that suchan inordinate thirst for blood, as had followed upon our discomfiture atRullion-green, could be of a long continuance; and I beseeched him tocome with me, telling him that I was provided with a small purse ofmoney in case need should require it, but in the charitable hearts ofthe pious we might count on a richer store.
Accordingly, we agreed to join our fortunes again; and having partedfrom James Gottera at Kilwinning, we went on our way together, and myheart was refreshed by the kind admonitions and sweet converse of mycompanion, though ever and anon the thought of my wife in prison, andour defenceless lambs, shot like a fiery arrow through my bosom. But manis by nature a sordid creature, and the piercing December blast, thethreatening sky, and the frequent shower, soon knit up my thoughts withthe care of my worthless self: maybe there was in that the temperinghand of a beneficent Providence; for when I have at divers times sinceconsidered how much the anguish of my inner sufferings exceeded thebodily molestation, I could not but confess, though it was with ahumbled sense of my own selfishness, that it was well for me, in such atime, to be so respited from the upbraidings of my tortured affections.
But, not to dwell on the specialities of my own feelings on thatmemorable night, let it suffice, that after walking some four or fivemiles towards Pencorse ferry, where we meant to pass to the island, Ibecame less and less attentive to the edifying discourse of MrWitherspoon, and his nature also yielding to the influences of the time,we travelled along the bleak and sandy shore between Ardrossan andKilbride hill without the interchange of conversation. The wind camewild and gurly from the sea,--the waves broke heavily on the shore,--andthe moon, swiftly wading the cloud, threw over the dreary scene awandering and ghastly light. Often to the blast we were obligated toturn our backs, and, the rain being in our faces, we little heeded eachother.
In that state, so like sullenness, we had journeyed onward, it might bebetter than a mile, when, happening to observe something lying on theshore, as if it had been cast out by the sea, I cried, under a sense offear,--
"Stop, Mr Witherspoon; what's that?"
In the same moment he uttered a dreadful sound of horror, and, onlooking round, I saw we were three in company.
"In the name of Heaven," exclaimed Mr Witherspoon, "who and what are youthat walk with us?"
But instanter our fears and the mystery of the appearance weredispelled, for it was my brother.
