by Jill Cooper
Half of the senior class is here, but I’m mostly hanging with my best friends Jenny and Carolyn. Across the fire, I see Jackson Sinclair—the love of my life and the richest boy in school. He’s captain of the football team, and I’m the head cheerleader. Some things are just destiny—just like us.
His blond hair is fine and swept over his brow. Next to him is Martin Alistair, with his dark hair and dark eyes. I never had a thing for brooding guys, but I could change my mind for him if I wasn’t so into Jackson.
He’s not captain of the football team like Jackson, but he doesn’t do too bad. He has a wide frame under his tan t-shirt, and his thighs under those shorts—Lord have mercy. Yeah, he’s good looking, but also nice. Plus rich, but who isn’t in Bay Harbor?
My own family, the Chetwoods, don’t do so bad either. In fact, we are one of the founding families of Bay Harbor. Our history stretches so far back; it can be dated to the 1600s in the same house. People say it’s haunted, but I’ve never seen anything.
I sip my beer, and my eyes tick between Jackson and Martin. Carolyn, one of my best friends and a co-cheerleader on the Gregory Squad, throws her arm around my shoulder. “Throw me your scraps when you’re done with them.”
I laugh. “Oh, please. Like you need my help?” Carolyn has legs that go on for miles and a drop-dead figure thanks to her years in gymnastics. She wears her blonde hair in a bob and is on track toward ivy league.
I might go to college, or I might not. I’m more interested in landing the right boy. I’ve settled on Jackson, but lately, Martin’s been paying me more attention. There’s something about him that makes sure he’s never far from my mind. Especially when he gives me sultry glances from across the fire.
“Be careful,” Jenny warns. “I heard from Cassie that Martin doesn’t take no for an answer—if you know what I mean.”
I snort and drain the rest of my beer. “Please. You believe Cassie? She’s a total drama queen.”
“Plus, who would say no to that?” Carolyn asks. “He’s the total package.”
I raise my eyebrows at her. Not that she’s wrong, but I’m in a relationship. I know Carolyn’s just goofing around. I’m with Jackson, and I’d never cheat on him.
Jenny sighs. “Okay, okay. Let’s try to take a photo of the three of us.”
I pull my Blackberry out of the pocket of my jean shorts. It’s one of the newest models, and the most expensive, so it has a camera. We throw our arms around each other and try to guess where to hold the camera. All of the photos are horrible. Either we’ve got our eyes closed, or I cut off half of Carolyn’s head.
We laugh uncontrollably. “I’m going for another beer.” I pat them on the back as I stumble through the sand. It’s really hard to keep my balance.
“Not too much more. You have a good girl image to maintain!” Jenny shouts.
I flip her off without even turning around, but I laugh as I reach into the red cooler and pull a beer out. As I pop the top off, Jackson slides beside me. My heart skips a beat to smell his cologne. “Hi.” I try to play coy, my eyes dancing across his tight pecs and large shoulders. The body of a football player and the heart of a poet.
That’s my Jackson.
“Should I pick you up in the morning for school?” His jacket is slung over his shoulder, and he stands relaxed beside me.
“You’re leaving already? It’s barely eleven, Jackson.”
“I know,” he sounds like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “But you know how Mother is. If I’m not home soon, she’ll have my head. One day I’ll be the leader of the family and…” He shrugs.
“You’re not the monarch. You’re business moguls.” I pout and dig my toes into the sand. “Here I was hoping we’d get to spend more time together.” I pull him in closer, my fingers lacing in with his.
Jackson seems distracted, gazing off at the ocean. “Let me take you home.”
I shake my head. “I’m not leaving yet. It’s the last day before school. It’s the last thing I want, stay with me.” I pull him in for a kiss. “For just a little bit longer. Let’s have some fun.”
But he pulls away. “You’ve had too much to drink, Amber. You know I don’t like it when you’re aggressive like this.”
“Yeah?” His words insult me. “Well, maybe I like being this way. You ever think of that?” I sip my beer.
“Just make sure someone gives you a ride.”
Like I’m some sort of porcelain doll? “Maybe I’ll have Martin take me home later.”
We’ll see how he likes that.
From how red his face turns, I’m guessing he doesn’t like it at all. Mission accomplished. “I thought you were done pitting us against each other. I thought you chose me.”
I raise my eyebrow and walk away. That’ll show him. I head over to Martin, where he stands with a group of guys and sling my arm through his. He stops talking mid-sentence and gazes down at me. “Well, well, if it isn’t Ms. Chetwood.” There’s that smirk on his face again.
I give him my best flirty smile as Jackson strolls away. I feel bad about it, but I’ll apologize tomorrow, and Jackson will, too. Then we’ll make up, and everything will be perfect all over again.
We party for hours until the police show and break up our little party. What a total buzzkill. I stumble through the sand, and Martin grabs me by the waist. “Whoa there, Amber. I think it’s possible you’ve overdone it.”
I laugh with a huge snort. My vision splits, and I’m sure if it wasn’t for Martin, I’d be face down in the sand by then. “Maybe you shouldn’t have taken out those nips then. I can’t hold my hard liquor at all.”
“I’ll get you home safe. I promise.” Martin leads me over the sand dunes and up into the parking lot. Carolyn stands by her blue convertible with a look of concern on her face.
“Are you sure I can’t take you home?” Carolyn crosses her arms and gives me a studious look.
“I’ve got this, Carol. I’ll take her home.”
“Are you sure?” Carolyn asks me pointedly.
I nod and reach for the door handle, but I stumble and nearly crash into the car. I wipe the hair out of my face. “I’m such a mess. My mother is going to be so pissed off.”
“We’ll grab some coffee.” Martin opens the door for me and I slip inside. “I’ll take care of you in ways Jackson wouldn’t. He’s too big of a Momma’s boy to take a real stand.”
I hear what he’s saying, but I feel bad for making Jackson jealous. I take out my Blackberry and text an apology to Jackson. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me”.
Martin slips into the car, and as we speed away, there’s no answer from Jackson. He’s probably asleep already. Perfect student, athlete and son. Yet I’m out here doing God knows what with Martin. I need to get off this party bus, but I don’t know how. “Maybe you can just take me home now.”
I glance at him, but Martin doesn’t respond. We drive away from the beach and take the twisty roads toward the city proper. I’m queasy and my stomach tosses around. It’s nowhere near my family’s estate. Anxiety grows in my stomach, and I feel like I might be sick. Dizziness still comes at me in waves. “Martin—”
He slips into the parking lot of an old gas station. We park right in front, and there’s barely anyone else around. The sky is dark, and there’s barely a flicker of light from the houses high up on the cliffs. “Two black coffees, coming right up.”
Doesn’t sound so bad. I nod. “Hurry back.” I check my phone for replies.
With a clenched chest, I read Jackson’s reply. “I don’t know why you do stuff like this, Amber. I don’t have many choices. Being a Sinclair means listening to Mother. If you can’t see that…”
Fear bubbles up inside of me. “I’m selfish. A selfish entitled brat. I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to grow up faster. I promise.”
He doesn’t acknowledge my statement directly. “Are you home?”
I lick my lips and watch Martin head back to the car with two coffees in hand
. “Almost.”
“We’ll talk tomorrow. Just get some sleep.”
I’m not encouraged by his words. I slip the phone down as Martin hands me my coffee and starts the car back up. The coffee is piping hot, and I sip it delicately. “It’ll put hair on your chest,” Martin says with a smile.
We’re back on the road listening to music, and there’s barely any chitchat between us. Instead of taking the road toward my family’s estate, Martin takes the road toward Dead Man’s Curve. I don’t know if I can say anything but warning bells chirp in my head. I don’t want to go up there with Martin. Not only that, but I don’t think I should.
It’s crazy to be afraid of Martin, but if we go up there, I’ll be trapped with nowhere to go or hide. “Can you turn the car around, please?” My fingers begin to shake. There’s fear in my voice I can’t control.
“We will. Just a few minutes so you can drink your coffee without anyone watching us. It’ll be fine.” He smiles. “Trust me.”
He pulls the car right up to the cliff overlooking the city. Off in the distance, I see the harbor and a lighthouse. Directly beneath us are the bright lights of the city and hints of traffic. All of it seems so out of focus. I curse myself for getting so drunk. I can’t think straight and my mouth goes bone dry.
Martin raises the volume of the music and soft rock and roll pumps through the speakers. I sip my coffee and shudder as Martin pulls my hair off my neck.
I cringe and move away. “I’m sorry, Martin. I’m not interested in that. You know I picked Jackson. If you could take me home now, please? I don’t want to be here.”
His face darkens, and my heart cements in my chest. I feel panic surging like I might be in trouble, which is crazy. I’m sure I can talk him out of whatever he’s thinking. “You’ve been flirting and clinging to me all night. You’re really going to tell me now that you picked him over me? Where is he? Home, tucked into bed by his momma. And that’s who you picked?” His eyes narrow.
I’m afraid. I lift my phone and start to ask Jackson to send help. Martin grabs my arm, and my phone is knocked out of my hand.
I gasp. “Martin!” I scream, and the car door beside me locks.
What have I done?
Chapter Six: Amber 2003
The horror of last night is with me from the moment I wake up until I’m heading off to school. I’m in Gregory’s school uniform with a blue and black plaid skirt, a blue blazer, and knee-high socks. My long auburn hair is braided and thrown over one shoulder. I look bright-eyed and pretty, but inside, I feel like a dark storm cloud.
I hear chimes as I get ready for the day, even though Mom hates chimes. There aren’t any in the house or outside. It’s not strange for me to hear them in my room when I’m alone. My mother says it’s part of the charm of the mansion. I don’t know if that means it’s haunted, but I’ve never felt unsafe.
I have breakfast with my parents in our grand dining room. The walls are lined with Mother’s fine china hutches, the ones that have been passed down through the generations, and oriental rugs cover the wood floors. We eat oatmeal and chilled orange juice. The day is like any other day except on the inside—I’m changed.
I’m not who I was yesterday morning.
My stomach is sour, so I do my best to eat. I don’t want to draw attention to myself. Father lowers his newspaper. “You were out extremely late last night.”
My voice squeaks when I try to reply. I sit up straight and fold my hands onto my lap. I try to come up with something I can say.
“Oh, Rudolph, it’s the beginning of her senior year. Nothing wrong with a little bit of fun.” Mother winks at me, which is unlike her. She’s in a great mood, and I wonder why.
I laugh. “Right. Nothing wrong with a little bit of fun.”
Mother walks me to the door after I collect my backpack. She kisses my cheek and wishes me well on a great first day of senior year. “Have a great day, and tonight, if you go out, back to regular curfew.” Her eyes are stern, but she pinches my cheek in a playful way. I guess she was covering for me with Father. Pretty nice of her, all things considered.
I always got what I wanted from my parents. They were so understanding.
“Of course. Well, bye!” I try to act happy and upbeat, but I’m sore. It hurts to walk. My upper thighs are bruised. I want to forget what happened between Martin and me. I want to pretend it never happened.
Was it rape? Did I deserve it? I had used him and strung him along. Maybe this is just what I get.
Jackson’s waiting outside in his convertible. I smile and wave, doing everything it is I should do but feel like I’m moving through sludge. It’s like being underwater and trying to look up. Nothing seems normal, and I worry it might never again. But I have to pretend. I can’t tell anyone what happened. What would they think of me?
What do I think of myself? Was this all my fault?
I slip into the car and pull my skirt down to hide a nasty blue bruise. Jackson’s wearing sunglasses and he’s focused on the road as we pull away from the curb. I’m relieved for the silence lingering between us. I’m not sure what to say or what to do. If I tell him, it might be over between us. After how I was acting, how could anyone believe me?
“I’m sorry about last night,” Jackson says. “I should stand up more to my mother. I should be able to do things my way a bit more. We’re graduating soon, right?” He takes my hand and kisses it. It just further plunges me into despair.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m sorry, too. I should have just let you take me home.” Boy, should I have. “I promise I won’t be drinking like that again anytime soon. I’m a good girl from here on out.”
“Oh, Amber, you’re always good. You let loose a little last night; it’s not the end of the world.”
“If you say so.” I exhale a deep breath. He doesn’t know what I know. I can still feel Martin’s hot breath on me and his teeth clamping down on the skin of my neck.
“Guess I owe Martin my thanks.”
“Pardon?” I jerk to look at him. His words and my own thoughts are a brutal juxtaposition I can barely tolerate.
“For taking you home. And taking such good care of you.” Jackson lifts his sunglasses and gives me a smile.
“Oh, sure. Right.” I laugh and hope I seem like myself. Happy, laughing, carefree, without any worries in the world. I’m a Chetwood, one of the most prestigious families in town. What could I possibly have to worry about?
We arrive at school and students are milling around outside on the grass, sitting on benches, and some of them are slowly making their way inside the school. Jackson slips his arm around my shoulders, and we make our way over to our group of friends. Jenny and Carolyn wave—Martin is with them. He stands with John and PJ, two of Jackson’s closest friends.
Jackson takes my hand and starts to walk a little bit faster. My stomach rolls, and I don’t know what to say. Carolyn and Jenny surround me, but I can barely hear them. I only focus on Martin’s face as he shakes Jackson’s hand.
“Thanks for taking such good care of Amber for me,” Jackson says.
“Oh, it’s no problem. It was my pleasure to take her home.” He smiles at me, flashing those pearly whites. There’s no hint of regret or remorse on his face. He sounds like he always does—like he’s in charge, carefree, and ready to have a good time. Martin takes it all in stride like it’s no big deal. My heart sinks just a little further.
“Are you okay, Amber?” Jenny asks.
I nod. “Sure. Yeah. We stopped for coffee last night to sober me up, too. I’m just—tired. Little sore,” I say pointedly and cast Martin a look.
He just grins and shoves his hands in his pockets. “After a rough night like that, you have to stretch in the morning and take care of yourself. You know that, don’t you, girl?” He winks at me, and I shudder. I feel like a dark cloud is moving in on me.
Jenny scowls and is about to say something when the headmaster, Mr. Davis, walks down the path. “Get to class, everyo
ne. Get to class!” He claps his hands just before the bell rings. It’s all fun and games until school actually starts.
Carolyn huffs. “What a taskmaster.”
My laugh is fake. Jackson kisses my cheek and obviously doesn’t notice how uptight I’m feeling. “I’ll see you at lunch, all right? Same place.”
I nod. “Sure.”
“Good. I have something for you. I should’ve given it to you a long time ago.”
Everyone rushes off, and I do my best to keep my head down. Jenny and Carolyn both wave good-bye as they head to their homeroom classes. Martin stops walking so we can fall in step together. I dread whatever he’s going to say or do. “You kept our little night a secret. I wasn’t sure if you would.”
I try not to react. “There’s nothing to say. You took me home. End of story.”
He nods, and relief washes over his face. “That’s just the thing I was hoping you’d say. You know Amber, we could make sweet music together. It doesn’t have to be how it was last night. It can be beautiful. Tender. You and I—if our families joined, it’d be amazing for both of our houses. The partnerships we could form. A Chetwood doesn’t belong with a Sinclair. They’re brutal, and with the skeletons in their closet…”
I gawk at him. Like there’s none in the Alistair family? Everyone knows they are cursed, and their family tree is filled with one tragedy after another. We all have our curses to bear. I prefer the old matriarch of the Sinclair family to the madness lurking in Martin’s eyes.
“Think about it, at least.” We enter the school and are flanked on either side by lockers. I turn left down the corridor and then up a flight of stairs toward homeroom, and Martin turns with me. The corridors are lined with posters about the homecoming dance next month. The crown, the dresses, it’s all something I care very much about—at least this was true yesterday. I was a shoo-in to win, wasn’t I?
“Imagine,” Martin nods his head toward the poster, “you and me. King and queen of the ball. How jealous people would be.” He grabs my arm and pulls me closer before I can step inside our class. He wraps his arm around my waist and nuzzles my cheek.
