Wow, he was really into this, I’d never seen him so animated before.
“I know it’s way too high,” I ventured, embarrassed that I didn’t know more about it.
“Exactly. Every week, eighty-four men take their own life in the U.K. That’s three times higher than the female suicide rates. I want to do my part to help bring that number down.”
He walked over to the windows and moved the drapes back to look out over the city, with its sparkly lights, showing the buzz of life happening down below.
“A port in the storm of life. Somewhere with no judgement, only solace.”
He turned back to look at me and I felt pained at the expression of sorrow on his beautiful face. This charity really was close to his heart; a personal crusade.
“I want to offer help,” he continued. “Financial, educational, counselling. Whatever they need to get a foothold back onto life’s ladder. All anyone ever wants is the dignity to live the best life they can, without the weight of life drowning them. That’s where my charity and the refuge would come in. I’m not that clued up on mental health, but if I can bring together groups of people that are, then maybe it can make a difference.”
I looked down again at the papers. There were articles about mental health, statistics, lists of counsellors, print outs of similar facilities from the U.S and other countries around the world. He had a vision, but he couldn’t bring it all together. I felt a surge of adrenaline at the thought that maybe I could help bring this mish-mash of ideas of his to fruition. I could get this off the ground. I knew people, wealthy people, who’d invest in a heartbeat. For the first time in months I felt something other than lost or lonely. I felt excited.
“I could do some fundraising for you. I know loads of people who could help. I can look into therapies and other opportunities we could offer.”
He frowned. “We?”
“I mean me, I could do that for you.” I felt embarrassed at my enthusiasm.
“I’m surprised you’d want to help.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He came back to the sofa and pulled his mobile out of his trouser pocket before he sat back down.
“Ryley, I’ll give you free rein over the whole project if it’ll keep you from climbing the walls here. I’ll get one of my guys to take you to the property we’re currently renovating to use for the main facility. That should help to give you an insight into our whole ethos.”
“I think you’ve done a good enough job yourself at explaining it all, but thanks. I’d really appreciate that chance.” I sat back into the sofa, feeling blown away by the turn of events tonight. “Wow. I’m actually really excited. I’ll bring in so much investment you’ll be drowning in support by the end of my three months.”
Jackson’s smile faded, and he started to mess with his phone. Was he irritated now? I couldn’t keep up with his mood swings.
“You want to visit him, don’t you?” He looked up at me as he was typing something out on his mobile.
“Yes. I miss him.” I sighed out loud, maybe a bit too loud, because Jackson looked up from his phone with a scowl.
“Fine. It’s done. I’ll take you to see him at the weekend.”
“Really?” I jumped up from the sofa. “You’ll take me to see Justin?”
“Yes. If I have to.”
“I can take the train or a cab. I don’t mind.” I was giddy. A shopping trip was definitely on the cards tomorrow. I wanted to look delicious for him when I saw him.
“No. I’ll drive. I’d like to see what my money is paying for.”
A knot of dread filled my gut.
“You’re coming in too?” That’d go down like a lead balloon with Justin, if I walked in with Jackson in tow.
“Don’t panic, he won’t even know I’m there. I’d just like to see the facilities. Maybe I’ll get some ideas for our little venture.”
I couldn’t deny the relief I felt. The last thing I needed was to watch those two go at it. Justin would walk for sure if he thought Jackson was involved in his recovery in any way. To be honest, it was better for both of us if he stayed for the full three months. He’d get the treatment he needed, and me? I’d get the experience of working with a charity, setting it up if you like, and creating something that was totally worthwhile. Maybe my time here wasn’t going to be as pointless and painful as I initially thought.
I woke up with renewed vitality and bounced out of bed and into my bathroom to freshen up. Ten minutes later, I flounced out of my room with my head full of ideas and inspiration for the day. Maybe I’d catch up with my girls, get them to help me choose a kick ass outfit for my trip to see Justin. I felt guilty that I’d been so engrossed in the whole Justin and Jackson drama, that I hadn’t even messaged them to let them know I was back in the city. I sent out a group text to tell them I was back, and fished for a date that they’d all be free for a catch up.
As I strolled into the lounge area, typing away on my phone, I saw Jackson dressed in his customary suit and just about to take a sip of his coffee. He froze when he saw me, and his cup stayed glued to his lips as he gawped at me like I was some alien-like creature that’d magically appeared in his apartment.
“What?” I lifted my arms up in question.
“You can’t walk around the apartment like that.”
He scanned his eyes down and then back up to mine. What was his problem? I looked down at the chocolate brown baby doll nightie I was wearing. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. It was cute and I felt all girly wearing it. I liked that the cups were lacy like a bra and the skirt all silky and soft. Plus, the colour looked good against my skin and my blonde hair. Did I really look that bad? It came to my knees; it wasn’t like it was skimming my ass.
“I don’t see what the problem is?”
He put his cup down and turned to look at his kitchen door.
“It’s very… revealing, and Sylvie is working today.”
As if on cue, Sylvie pushed her way through from the kitchen and beamed with affection when she saw me.
“Sylvie, does my nightie offend you?” I put my hands on my hips as I questioned her.
Sylvie shook her head in earnest.
“Of course not, love. Why would it? I wish I had one like that, but I’d probably give Len a coronary if I rolled into bed tonight dressed in that. Anyway, I’ve seen what some of the girls wear on a summer’s day. That’s tame, dear.” She wrinkled her nose as she spoke, instantly putting me at ease.
“Thank you.” I reverted my gaze to Jackson now, who was looking somewhat affronted that he wasn’t being backed up in his ridiculous opinion.
“If you don’t like it, don’t look,” I challenged him.
The doorbell sounded and he strode off, cursing me as he went to answer it.
“I think he likes it a little too much if you ask me,” Sylvie whispered and I blushed. Maybe I would go back and put my flannelette pyjamas on instead. As I went to turn back and head to the bedroom, I heard a whistle.
“Nice outfit, blondie.”
Cillian didn’t appear to be of the same opinion as Jackson when it came to my night-time attire.
“Thanks.” I did a cute little curtsey and started to back up out of the room to go and get myself covered up.
“Will you put some bloody clothes on?” Jackson snapped, and so did I. How dare he tell me what to do! I felt like wearing the damn nightie out shopping now just to piss him off more.
“Don’t listen to him, he’s just a prude,” Cillian joked, eyeing Jackson up and down.
Sylvie reappeared from the kitchen with a coffee cup and handed it to Cillian. She knew the drill.
“Thanks, Sylv. You’re an angel.” He kissed her cheek as he took the cup and Sylvie blushed at the attention.
“Oh, get off. I always make you a coffee. Stop flirting with me. I’m old enough to be your nan.”
“I like older women.” He was outrageous, but Sylvie loved it, I could tell.
“Not my age you d
on’t. I’d eat you alive, Cill James.” She slapped his arm playfully and wandered past me and out of the living area, giving me a flirty grin. I laughed. Sylvie still had it, even if she didn’t know she did. I bet Mr Turner was a contented man.
“Did you want something, or did you just come here today to hit on any females you found in my apartment?” Jackson wasn’t amused at all. Now there’s a surprise.
“I’m bored. I thought Ryley might like to come out for the day with me.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but I wasn’t fast enough.
“She’s busy, so if there’s nothing else, you can come to work with me.”
“No, I’m not,” I piped up.
Cillian looked across at me and grinned as he took in my scantily clad appearance yet again. I was starting to feel naked with all the attention I was getting. That was a first for me; usually, I couldn’t care less.
“I was going to go shopping for a new dress. I need one for the weekend when I finally get to see my man.”
“You’re going to visit the rat?” he said, choking on his coffee and side-eyeing Jackson suspiciously.
“Jeez, will you stop with that name! And yes, we’re going to see him.”
Cillian shook his head and gave Jackson a, ‘What the fuck are you thinking?’ glare.
“She wants to go. Who am I to stop her?” He glared back and the two of them stood staring for what felt like an age before Cillian broke eye contact and looked back over at me.
“If the dress you choose is anything like that one, I’m in. Where are we shopping?”
Jackson folded his arms and barked out, “No,” in frustration at his flirty friend.
“Oh, come on, Jax. You can come too. It’ll be fun.”
“Why would I want to go shopping?” he asked in exasperation.
An idea sprang into my mind and I couldn’t hold myself back.
“What about the barbecue?” I gave him a wicked grin and watched as his evil little mind started to join the dots together.
“What barbecue?” Cillian asked, looking from Jackson to me and back again.
“My uncle Mick, you know, the mayor, he’s invited us to a barbecue on Sunday. Now, I’ve seen you wear suits, but nothing else. What are you gonna wear? Because you can’t rock up to an afternoon barbecue in an Armani suit.”
“I have sweats.”
I laughed at his crazy-ass response.
“We’re going to network, not work out. You can’t wear sweats.”
It was kinda adorable that he was so totally clueless.
“Okay, so I’ll wear my suit without the jacket.”
“Err, no!” I replied. “What about jeans?”
He pursed his lips at my irritating questions.
“I don’t have any,” he said, looking down at the floor as if he were embarrassed.
“Oh. My. God. How old are you?” He tensed as I said this. “I mean, everyone owns a pair of jeans.”
“I’m thirty-one, and no, I don’t own a pair. What would I need them for? I don’t ever go anywhere that requires me to be... casual.”
I knew he was uptight, but I hadn’t realised how much until just now. He spent his whole life looking perfect in his suits, didn’t he know how to relax or kick back? What a strange life he led. This day was turning out to be a whole load of fun in the making.
“It’s decided then,” Cill announced. “We’re going shopping. The three of us. She’ll get a dress and we’ll find some jeans and a t-shirt for Mr Strait-laced over here. I’m sure we can get them to add extra starch just for you, mate.” Cillian smirked, then shooed me out of the living area to get myself ready.
“Are you completely insane?” I heard Jackson remark as I skipped out of the room, inwardly cackling at how much I could torture him today.
What I’d expected and what I got out of our little trip were two completely different things. Who’d have thought shopping for men’s jeans could be so… unsettling. I felt flustered and all out of sorts watching Jackson try on pair after pair, each time reappearing from the changing rooms with a grimace, and declaring how uncomfortable and restricting the jeans felt, but looking totally delectable. He certainly fitted them well. Even the guy fetching the different pairs for him to try from the shop floor couldn’t stop himself from checking out his shapely butt. I blamed my own heated reaction on being totally horny and missing my boyfriend. I needed to get laid. That had to be why I was feeling so distracted and awkward. I kept praying that Cillian wouldn’t notice, or Jackson, for that matter. So I busied myself with folding old pairs that’d been discarded, and acting like I was oblivious to everything.
“What about a ripped pair?” the shop guy piped up.
“No. I need to impress the mayor, not make him think I stepped off the streets,” Jackson growled. He wasn’t enjoying this at all.
“You know, that first pair you tried on was fine. I don’t know what all the fuss was about them being too tight.” Cillian grabbed the pair of jeans I was folding out of my hands and threw them over to Jackson.
“Try them on again. Let’s all agree you look hot and then move onto shopping for the good stuff; Ryley’s dress.”
I was losing the will to live. I doubted I had it in me to find a dress after the energy it’d taken to watch Jackson try jeans on, and appear unaffected. The man had missed his calling. He would’ve made an excellent fashion model.
Minutes later, Jackson came back out wearing the best fitting jeans I’d ever seen any man wear. They clung to him like a second skin and made my mouth water, that’s for sure.
“What do you think, Ryley?” Cillian asked me.
Jackson looked so puzzled and confused, he really didn’t know if he looked good or not. It was quite endearing.
“I like them,” I said, sounding way too breezy. “Get the t-shirt too.”
The t-shirt was a black one with a tribal motif on the front in a dark grey. Not too flashy, but it clung to his chest and showcased his muscly arms perfectly.
Shop guy appeared with a fitted black leather jacket, and helped Jackson shrug it onto his shoulders. I think shop guy was enjoying his job an awful lot today. He was good at it too, because when he stood back to show us, I actually gasped. Jackson looked totally yummy, for an asshole.
“See. You can do casual. You got the Ryley seal of approval.” Cillian gave me a sly, cheeky wink and I blushed. I was busted.
“It’s perfect. Now, can we get going? I’ll come back tomorrow and get a dress on my own,” I argued, but Cillian was having none of it.
“No way, Tink. We’re here now. We may as well take a look.”
“The ladies’ department is on the next floor,” Shop guy piped up. He was way too interested in us. I think he’d have tagged along if he could have.
Walking through the store with two excellent specimens of man candy was an experience in itself. As we took the escalators up to the next floor, two women coming down the opposite side couldn’t help but notice us.
“Nice bag carriers you’ve got there, chick,” one of them said to me.
“We come highly recommended,” Cillian flirted back, leaning across the divide with his chest and turning his body to watch them as they drifted down and away from him.
“I need to hang out in the ladies wear department more often.” He laughed.
“Yeah, ‘cos that won’t make you look creepy at all.” I eyed him suspiciously.
“Oh, relax, blondie. You’re still my number one.” He went to touch my face, but Jackson knocked his hand away.
“Haven’t you seen enough action this week?” he snapped.
“Jeez, chill. I’m only joking. You know you’re my number one too. No need to get jealous,” Cillian teased back.
“I’m not jealous. I’m tired of this whole wise-cracking jester act you’ve got going on.”
“Chill out, dude. Every straight man’s gotta have his comedy sidekick, and I’m yours.”
He nudged Jackson playfully, but he wasn
’t having any of it.
When we came to the top of the escalator, Jackson pushed past us, muttering to himself and walking off to the centre of the shop, getting some distance that he so obviously needed. I tried to ignore the growing tension, focusing on the clothes instead.
“What about this one?” Cillian held up a yellow dress with weird green and red tassels hanging off the shoulders. It looked like something a Grandma would wear.
“Eww, no. I’m seeing my boyfriend not the local vicar.”
“This one?” He picked a black leather-look mini dress up and smirked.
“Again, a day visit! Not a trip to the local strip club. Thanks though,” I said sarcastically, and carried on filing through the racks.
I couldn’t find a thing. It was a hopeless task and I felt mentally exhausted. I just wanted to get out of here and go home.
“What about this?” Jackson stood next to Cillian, holding up the cutest baby blue summer dress, with thin criss-cross straps and a delicate silver pattern embroidered along the bust. It was so me. I loved it.
“I suppose I could try it on.” I didn’t want to come across as too enthusiastic. Cillian was eyeing the dress and giving it his nodded approval.
“Now that is a Ryley dress,” he said and Jackson stifled a grin.
Why was he grinning? Did it please him to think he knew me so well? He didn’t. I wanted to tell him to shove his dress, that it was gross, but I couldn’t.
I tried it on, impressed that Jackson had even got my size right. Mind you, he’d got it right when he chose my dress for the gala the other night too. Maybe he knew more about fashion than he let on. Or more about me perhaps?
I flung the curtain back to see them both sitting in the waiting room chairs, looking awkward. Cillian whistled for the second time that day when he saw me, and Jackson went slightly flushed and kept his eyes on my face.
“Holy shit, Ryley. The rat’s gonna spend the whole visit hard as a fucking rock. Is it a conjugal visit?” Cill joked.
“Will you just shut the fuck up!” Jackson bit back, and Cillian laughed.
This Cruel Love (A Dark Hearts Stand-Alone Novel Book 2) Page 12
