“I’m so sorry, angel. I never meant for any of this to hurt you.”
“I don’t believe it.” She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “I don’t believe for one second that the man who tucked me into bed every night, who sat up with me when I was sick, stroking my forehead and singing to me, could do something so evil. My dad plays piano, does the crossword every morning, and drinks green tea because it’s healthier than coffee. He makes everyone laugh with his corny jokes, and he cried when we had to put my dog down four years ago. He isn’t a murderer. He doesn’t even kill spiders when they crawl across the carpet.” She was shivering now, so I tried to wrap my arms around her, but she shot up and stood over me.
“You said your dad had mental health problems. How do you know he didn’t kill himself? Anything could’ve happened to make that gun go off. There could be any number of reasons why, but it wasn’t my dad. I swear on my life he wouldn’t do that.”
I hated to see how hurt she was, her body trembling with shock and pain, her face crumbling as she processed what I’d said. I had to do something, anything to stop her falling into the pit of hell I knew so well.
“You’re right. It doesn’t make sense. I can see that now.” I’d have said anything to make her feel better, but I didn’t believe it for a second. “At the time, it was all I had to cling onto. I needed some type of justice for my father, so I made your dad the focal point for my revenge. I’m sorry.”
She rocked back and forth, deep in thought and struggling to comprehend it all.
“Is that how you became homeless? Did you lose the house after your father died?”
“My dad had a will, and he left one hundred percent of his estate to me. He put it all into a trust fund for safe keeping. I was supposed to live with an aunty, his sister, who had control of the money until I came of age. She pissed the lot away though, and I ran away when I was fifteen. I didn’t see a penny of my father’s money, but I didn’t care. I was verbally and mentally abused by that bitch for a year before I got away.”
“I don’t know what to say,” she gasped.
I reached forward and pulled her towards me, resting my head on her stomach as she stood in front of me.
“Say we can move past this. Tell me you won’t let the hatred that ate me up for so many years ruin the one good thing that’s come into my life. I’ve got this searing pain in my chest, Ryley, and the pressure is making it hard for me to breathe.”
I wrapped my arms tightly around her, willing her to accept me for who I was. A dark, damaged man with issues as long as the river Thames and probably as deep and murky too. But with her, I could face anything. I needed her like I needed my next breath.
“I feel the same,” she said, stroking my hair, and then she leant forward and wrapped her arms around my quivering shoulders. “I don’t want hate and violence in our lives. But I have to know this ends today. I need to know you don’t blame my dad. He’s innocent.”
I lifted my head to look at her. I needed her to fully understand what I was about to say. Not just to listen to me, but truly hear me.
“I’m always going to be honest with you, Ryley. I know I have my flaws and I’ll always own them, every single one. Your brother, Travis, he’s a selfish, self-centred prick. It took him three days to jump into bed with Lilly after proclaiming undying love to his fiancée. As for Justin, he doesn’t think twice about videoing himself fucking God knows who behind your back, and leaving you vulnerable so he can stuff his body full of shit. Mason, that evil fucker? He drugged women and brought his own brand of hell into those seedy hotel rooms. And me? What have I done other than try to defend the people that I love? Take revenge against those who’ve wronged me and mine. It might not sound right to you, but at the time it did to me. I felt justified.”
“Do you still want revenge?” she whispered.
“No. Not anymore.”
“Why not? How can you say you don’t want revenge after planning it for all those years? How can I trust that you’ll stop this?”
I took a deep breath in. “Because I love you, Ryley. I love you more than I ever loved my father. And that’s why this all has to stop. For the last seventeen years, I’ve lived a life of bitterness, and my hunger for revenge has clouded every single judgement I’ve made. I’ve been dead inside. You woke me from that, Ryley. I thought destroying you and your family would end all the pain for me, but I was so wrong. The day you walked into my life, I started living. You radiate so much goodness, so much light, you’ve chased all the darkness away. You planted seeds of hope for me, for a life I never thought I could have; with love, warmth and affection. With family. I’ll always be eternally grateful for finding you, and having you in my life. You give me life. You’re like the missing part of me I didn’t even know I was looking for. The last puzzle piece to make it all complete. I’ll never let you go. I can’t. I love you.”
A tear trickled down her delicate face, and I reached up to brush it away.
“I love you too,” she said as she started to cry. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
I stood up and wrapped her up in my arms. Nothing and no one would ever come between us again. I would move heaven and Earth to make sure of it. She was mine and I was hers.
RYLEY
He enveloped me in his strong arms, then whispered into my neck, “I want to make love to you, angel. I need to make this right.”
I wanted to be as close to him as I could be in that minute. He was like air, water. He was my whole life. I couldn’t be without him.
“Okay,” was all I could manage as my breathy response.
He leant down to kiss me, his lips soft and gentle, coaxing me to join his in the light, seductive massage that sent tingles down my spine and made my skin prickle. His tongue licked and stroked against my lips then into my mouth, sliding against my own and drawing a moan straight from the depths of my soul. His hands held my head in place, threading his fingers through my hair and tugging lightly, so I tilted to the exact angle he wanted me.
He moved his skilful lips to my neck and licked along the sensitive skin behind my ear. Then he pulled back and stroked his thumbs across my cheeks. He dipped his head until his forehead was touching mine.
“You have no idea what you do to me, do you? You consume me, angel. I want to kiss every inch of your beautiful body, and make you scream my name over and over again.”
“Do it then.” I smiled seductively, eager to get to the screaming his name part.
He pushed me backwards so I fell onto the bed, and I lifted myself up onto my elbows to look down to where he stood over me. I licked my lips and pulled myself farther up the bed, subconsciously inviting him to join me, cover my body with his and make me feel as good as he promised. He took the hint and loosened his tie, then pulled it off his neck and threw it down to the floor. He started to unbutton his shirt, but I shook my head.
“That’s my job,” I purred, as I sat up, reached forward and ran my hands down his chest. I made quick work of the remaining buttons and slid the shirt off his muscular arms. He crawled forward, forcing me onto my back as he took his place over me.
“Now for my job,” he growled low, pulling the straps of my dress down to expose my bra and placing delicate kisses along my shoulder and down across the top of my breasts.
“You have the softest skin.”
He stroked his hands over my breasts and down my body. The tickle of his fingers as he grazed the hem of my dress made me suck in a breath through my teeth. He yanked the hem up and over my body, and I arched my back to help him rid me of the extra material that I didn’t want between us.
“So beautiful.”
I reached down between us to open the button of his trousers, but he pushed my hand away and held it up over my head. Then he took hold of my other arm and put it in place with the first.
“Your turn first. This is all about you.”
I wasn’t going to argue, having this beautiful man pressing down
on me, pushing me into the mattress was no hardship. Having him worship me like this felt beyond heavenly. Sexily sinful and oh so necessary after the raw truths we’d just faced. We needed this to cement our bond of love. To heal the gaping wounds that’d been created today.
He ran his hands up and down my side with feather-like caresses before reaching around to unhook my bra and peel it down my arms. He brushed his thumb gently around the swell of one of my breasts, then ran it over my nipple, watching in fascination as it budded painfully under his touch. I gasped as he licked over my nipple and then sucked it into his mouth, running his tongue over the top then round and round. I pushed my chest forward and into him, wanting more, and he chuckled at my eagerness. His other hand stroked my other breast in soft, intimate massages. Then he pulled his head back, and my nipple popped out of his mouth. He blew lightly on it, then licked across to the other nipple and gave it the same delicious treatment. I groaned and ran my fingers through his hair, gripping him tightly as my need grew more frantic. He had the most wickedly talented mouth and tongue, and as much as I enjoyed having him lavish my breasts with all the attention he was giving them, I needed him somewhere else. Somewhere way more sensitive and erotic.
As if sensing my urgency, he trailed kisses down my stomach and across my hips. I pushed my hips forward eagerly, awaiting his next touch, caress, lick, and suck.
He sat back on his heels, his hair all mussed and his face alive with lust and want.
“Spread those legs wide for me, baby. Let me see what’s mine,” he said, watching as I pushed my knees wide and let them fall either side of my body.
“Stunning.”
He was staring right at my pussy, drinking in every inch. But he didn’t touch me. Instead, he picked up my leg and kissed my ankle. Then, he ran his tongue along my calf, nibbling behind my knee when he reached it. I was desperate for him, and he was loving teasing me, torturing me into a lustful oblivion.
“Please,” I begged, but he didn’t listen.
He kissed slowly and seductively along the inside of my thigh, edging ever closer to his goal, but not quite getting there. When he was close, I held my breath, ready for that first earth-shattering connection, but he pulled back and lifted my other leg. Kissing, nibbling and licking up and up until the anticipation became too much.
“For fuck’s sake, Jackson,” I moaned, and he smiled up at me with an evil glint in his eye. Then with one wicked, enticingly long lick, he finally tasted me.
“Oh, yes!” I moaned, crying out his name.
He flicked his tongue gently over my clit, and I circled my hips, desperate to begin that delicious climb into sexual insanity. He used his fingers to part my folds and give me pointed licks, darting his tongue in that expert way of his. He nibbled then flicked across my clit, changing the tempo to the exact rhythm I loved. He could play my body better than any instrument. Piano might’ve been his forte, but with me he was a fucking maestro.
“You taste so sweet, angel. I could die a happy man buried in between your legs.”
I’d happily die with his head in between my legs. In fact, I felt like I was drifting into another dimension as it was.
“Please, don’t stop,” I begged, and wantonly ground my pussy onto his face.
He held my hips still, pushing me into the bed with his hands on either side of me. Then he licked harder, firmer over my clit and along my folds. He dipped his tongue into my pussy, pushing and stretching me and sucking hungrily.
“You’re so wet, angel.”
He let one of his arms slide free and pushed two fingers inside me. I groaned at the feel of him filling me like that, and rubbing the walls of my pussy, stroking my sweet spot and making my body buck involuntarily. Then he leant down and recommenced licking, sucking, and flickering over my clit with his tongue, as his fingers worked their magic.
I was lost, totally consumed by the impending orgasm he was coaxing out of me. I gripped his hair tight as I rocked against him and felt that familiar itch and burn as my bundle of nerves unravelled.
“I’m so close.”
I closed my eyes, only able to focus on him, on how he was making me feel.
“Come for me, baby. Come on my face. Let me feel you come on my tongue. That’s it, angel.”
He upped the tempo and changed the pressure until he had me right where he wanted me, and I was exploding and spasming all over him, my pussy clenching his fingers, my clit throbbing and convulsing against his tongue as he moaned. The vibrations of his mouth made my orgasm stronger, and the way he rubbed my most sensitive spot on my clit and inside me had my body trembling. The only sounds I could muster were cries and grunts of pure pleasure. My whole body was just a bag of nerves, totally under his expert control and rapidly slipping into a sex coma of contentment.
I heard the jangle and rustle of his trousers as he undid his zip and relieved himself of his last few items of clothing. Then he was looming over me, his thick, hard cock pressing against my pussy and his hands either side of my head as he panted over me.
“Look at me,” he said and then rested onto his elbows.
“Look at me, angel,” he urged, so I opened my eyes. It took my breath away to see how much love he held in his. In that moment, I needed to be as close to him as was humanly possible. I wanted to be a part of him.
He pushed his cock slowly into me and I bit my lip, moaning at how amazing it felt to be stretched and filled by him. It was made all the more intense with the fact that we were facing each other, our eyes locked onto each other. This was making love and intimacy at its finest. I knew without a doubt that I’d never want another man ever again. No one else would ever, could ever live up to this. He was my ultimate.
He pulled out to the tip then pushed slowly, torturously back into me. My pussy was so over-sensitive that I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was coming again, squeezing his cock and milking him with everything I had.
“I love you,” he said, as he slid in and out of me, grinding his hips perfectly. “I love you.”
He threaded his fingers through mine and held our arms above my head on the pillow. All the time his hips rolled and pushed into me, teasing me into a sublime release.
“I love you too,” I cried and held his gaze with my own. I’d never felt such intense love for another person before. I wanted this moment to last forever, for this feeling to never fade or die. I’d rather die myself than lose this man.
His thrusts became more urgent and he started ramming himself harder into me, pushing my body and making my head bang against the top of the bed. I didn’t care; I loved the change of tempo. I needed it.
“Harder. Fuck me harder,” I cried, and he didn’t disappoint.
His hips slammed so hard into me I swear I’d have bruises after this, but I met each of this thrusts with my own. I circled my hips and bucked into him as he thrust mercilessly into me. Then he became frantic, loosening my hands and grabbing around my waist to hold my body still, to keep me where he wanted me.
“Come for me, angel,” he commanded, and I did, clamping down on his cock and forcing him to growl out his own powerful release. I could feel his cock throbbing and pulsating inside me, which only elongated my own orgasm, making me grunt and groan with the blissful feeling. Not just because he made me feel so incredible sexually, but in the time I’d known him, he’d taken ownership of my heart and my soul. He was my happily ever after.
I couldn’t deny that I was still reeling from Jackson’s confessions. I couldn’t take it all in. How could my mum do that to dad? They’d always seemed so together, so close. I couldn’t bear to think of her with anyone else. It certainly made my recent avoidance strategy with my parents easier to justify to myself. I didn’t know what I’d say to my mum if I saw her at the moment. Everything still felt raw.
As for dad, I refused to believe that his actions were anything other than honest and lawful. He’d obviously been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He wouldn’t hurt anyone, no matter what th
ey’d done to wrong him. He just wasn’t made that way. He was a good man, the best. I sincerely hoped Jackson would see that too, although I doubted I’d get those two in the same room any time soon.
Travis didn’t let my obstinacy deter him. He rang and messaged me most days, begging me to meet up with him to ‘talk’. It’s a shame he didn’t use that steadfast determination to help me weeks ago, when I fell into Mason’s trap, or months ago when Justin was putting me through the ringer. Too little too late, big bro. I had someone stronger and more loyal in my corner now.
Jackson became my rock, my port in a storm. Being with him felt so right. I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without him in it. I didn’t want to ever find out. To the outside world he was reserved, hostile, and guarded, but with me he was open, loving, and attentive. The total opposite to the man I’d met three months ago. I felt privileged to be allowed to see those softer sides of him. Like I was his chosen one. I know he’s mine.
“I need to go to the club, make sure everything’s running okay,” he said to me one dreary Wednesday morning.
“Cool,” I answered, not minding that he needed to work that day.
“I want you to come with me. I don’t like leaving you here.”
I laughed at how child-like he sounded. “Sylvie is here. I won’t be lonely. Don’t worry, Jax.”
“I know, but I want you with me.” Judging from the expression on his face, this wasn’t up for discussion.
“I thought you didn’t want me spying on your club?” I joked, but he didn’t crack a smile at the memory.
“Why would I ever think that? You’re coming. End of discussion.”
“I’d better get dressed then.” I arched my eyebrows at his bossiness and headed out of the kitchen towards the bedroom. He slapped my ass as I walked past him.
“Wear something black and lacy for me to peel off you later.” He gave me a panty melting half grin and I bit my lip. I couldn’t wait.
This Cruel Love (A Dark Hearts Stand-Alone Novel Book 2) Page 23
