“Let’s get you home, angel.” I hugged her to my side and eased my way past Travis and Harry, out of the apartment without a backwards glance.
“Tomorrow, we need to give that counsellor a ring,” I whispered into her ear. “We can both go, but we can’t leave this to fester. Talking to a professional can’t hurt us, can it?”
I wanted nothing more than to heal her myself and get her through this. But I knew better than anyone how trauma could destroy your life. I didn’t want that for her. I wanted her to find closure for everything she’d been through, not just the shit from today, all of it.
“You’re right.” She smiled and my heart skipped a beat yet again. “I want all of this over with. We both deserve a fresh start, but on one condition.”
“Okay?” I narrowed my eyes at her, totally oblivious to what her demands would be.
“Talk to my dad. Tell him how you feel and get the closure you need. You can’t go on like you have been, pretending you’re over it for my sake. I know you still harbour doubts about him. Please, just talk to him.”
She was right, of course. I did still blame her father. I still believed he’d killed my dad. The only thing was, my love for her far outweighed my need for vengeance. But if we were going to have a chance at a happily ever after, I had to put those ghosts to rest. Some difficult and painful memories needed to be unearthed, and no matter how tough it would be, I had to face it.
“Consider it done,” I said as I led her down the staircase to find our solace.
“Really? You truly mean it? You’ll talk to him?” She looked so tiny and fragile as she spoke. It made me want to wrap her up in my arms and carry her to safety like some kind of caveman.
“Of course. I’d do anything to make you happy.”
She yelped as I threw caution to the wind and unleashed my inner caveman. Scooping her up into my arms, I carried her out to my car.
“You’re crazy, but God, I do love you, Jax.”
“I love you too, angel.”
I tried to relax on the drive home. Tried to mentally calm myself after the ordeal of the day, but I couldn’t stop my leg twitching and my stomach from rolling in angst with all of the images and thoughts of ‘what if?’ My mind was flickering from one horror story scenario to another, and my body was stuck on a rollercoaster with no signs of stopping.
I knew Jackson could feel the tension rolling over me, like dirty little waves of fear engulfing the car. So he reached over to put his hand on my twitchy knee and steady my jerky movements. Then territorially, he threaded his fingers through mine and brought my hand to rest with his in his lap, bringing my hand up to kiss the back of it every now and then and remind me I was safe. It did help to ease my anxiety somewhat. Just being close to me, Jackson had the power to soothe my mind and body, but today, being around me wasn’t an easy job. My stress levels were through the roof and I didn’t know how to control them.
Once we were safely inside the cocoon that was his apartment, he pulled me close and held me tightly against him.
“I’ll run you a bath,” he said as he buried his face into my hair and nipped along the side of my neck.
“Only if you’ll join me,” I teased, and he gave a deep, throaty laugh that went straight to my heart, and other places I wanted him to be.
“That goes without saying.”
He pulled me down the hallway into his bedroom then sat me down on the bed and kissed the top of my head like I was a child.
“Wait here. I’ll come and get you when it’s ready.”
I didn’t say a word, just watched him stride into the bathroom, his body movements sleek and fluid like a panther. How could one person take over your whole life in such a short space of time?
Moments later, he strode back in, and the smile he gave me melted my heart.
“It’s ready for you,” he said, holding his hand out for me to take.
I lifted myself off the bed and went to him, taking his hand, but wrapping my arm around his to nestle in to him.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I said candidly, willingly putting myself out there, vulnerable, but trusting all the same.
“Luckily for you, you’ll never have to worry about that,” he replied, snaking his other arm around my back. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He slowly walked me into the bathroom, where the sweet smell of essential oils and other bathroom treats hung in the air.
“I never had you tagged as a bath luxuries kinda guy,” I joked.
“I bought them for you.”
For the first time ever, I thought I detected a blush on his tanned, stubbly cheeks.
“That’s so sweet.”
He was so thoughtful. He hadn’t been out today to buy them, so when exactly had he got them? He really was full of mystery. Jackson never ceased to amaze me. Just when I thought I had him pinned down, he did something totally out of character. Well, the character I thought he had, and threw a curveball like this.
“Come on, angel. Let’s get in and wash away the filth from today.” I flinched as he spoke, realising in those split seconds before, I’d actually put the whole ordeal to the back of my mind for a bit. But straight away it was surging forward and tugging on my insides again with a twisted grip. “It won’t always feel as raw as it does now. Trust me, the pain dulls eventually. We need to make sure you get some professional help though, otherwise the pain and anger will eat you up inside, and I don’t want that for you.”
I could read between the lines well enough. He didn’t want me to go down the same road he had when his father had died. He didn’t want me to have a life filled with resentment and revenge.
“I’m not the only one that could use a little help,” I said, and held my breath, hoping he wouldn’t bite back.
“I know that. I think we could help each other, go to counselling together. Would that be something you could-?”
He didn’t need to finish. “I’d love that. I want to help you. I want us to help each other.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and reached up on my tiptoes to kiss him softly on the lips. “I’m in this for the long haul. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
He grinned down at me like I’d just given him the fucking universe with that one statement, then he shook his head. “You know, when I dragged you into my life I had absolutely no idea you’d become my whole world. I should be sorry after all the shit you’ve gone through because of me, but I’m not. All that shit brought you to me, and I’ll never let you go, Ryley. I’ll never let you down, not ever.”
His words had me gasping for breath. For someone who claimed he was a bad communicator, he sure knew how to knock me off balance with his words.
“I flipping love you,” I sighed, as I pushed those angry demons from today back down, and decided it was better to get lost in the demon in front of me. Only he wasn’t a demon anymore, he was my dark angel. Dark because he had his own demons he needed to face, and dark because he hadn’t fully embraced the happiness I knew we could have. But the light of hope shining over us was long overdue. He was my dark and I was his light, his yin to my yang. Perfectly imperfect and beautifully broken, but there was hope within both of us, and that’s all anyone needs to work their way back to life.
He loosened his tie and slipped it from his neck, then unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it to the ground and standing before me with his smooth, toned abs on show. His delicious happy trail just begged to be touched and stroked, hinting at the happy ending it led to.
I reached forward and unbuckled the belt on his trousers, then pulled the button and zipper down. I pushed his trousers and boxers over his thick, hard thighs, as he lifted his legs to help me ease them off.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whispered, kissing his pecs as he chuckled at me.
“And you’re damn sweet. Now, enough stalling. It’s your turn. You have way too many clothes on.”
He pulled the hem of my dress over my head, leaving me standing before him in my pink, lacy
underwear.
“I’ve got less to take off,” I joked.
“Good,” he replied and unhooked my bra, gently stroking my skin as he pulled it down my arms and then threw it to the floor.
He knelt down in front of me and took a deep breath, his eyes burning into my stomach as he hooked his fingers into the sides of my panties. Then he carefully pulled them down my thighs and tapped my calves to instruct me to lift my feet to let him free me of my last offending item of clothing.
“That’s better.” He smirked as he leant forward and placed a feathered kiss between my legs causing me to involuntarily moan before he stood back up. “Don’t take this the wrong way, angel, but this right now isn’t about sex. It’s about healing. I want to feel you close to me. After today and everything that’s gone down I need that. But I won’t force you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. You’ve been through enough. I’m not gonna be the asshole who jumps your bones after all that, okay?”
I nodded and felt my heart twist with want for him. Could this man get any sweeter? I doubted it. He was amazing and he had absolutely no idea. That was what made him seriously hot, and to think he saved all that sweetness for me? I was one lucky girl and I knew it.
He held my hand and helped lower me into the warm bubbles of the scented bath, then stepped in with me, his front to my back. We sat in silence, lost in each other and the soothing warmth of the water washing over us. His fingers caressed my skin and he kissed my shoulders as he ran his hands over mine. Fingers interlacing then freeing again, feeling the way our skin fit together, revelling in the way he seemed to fit so perfectly around me, and I moulded into him, like I was made to be there.
He sighed. “This is the nicest bath I’ve ever had. We should do this every day.”
“We should.” I smiled. “I like being close to you like this. It feels like-”
“Home,” he answered for me, and I turned my face to meet his and pecked him lightly on the lips.
It wasn’t enough though. I understood that this wasn’t about sex for him, and it wasn’t for me either. But I needed him closer. I needed that connection that only sex could give us. I wanted to make love to him, to feel something other than wrung out and anxious over the stresses of the day.
“I need you, Jax.”
I twisted in his lap, feeling the brush of his smooth, hard cock against my ass as I did. His hands came out of the water to cup my face and he pulled me towards him to kiss me. His lips slow and soft, gently coaxing mine until he sensed the change in me and flicked his tongue out. The taste of him was divine; it intoxicated me, making my toes curl and my insides flutter. I loved kissing him. I could happily spend the rest of my life kissing this man. He drove me insane, but in a good way.
His hands floated down across my shoulders and over my back. Then he moved to the front, stroking over my breasts and making me moan and push myself further into him.
“Your skin feels like silk,” he moaned into my neck. “I love how soft you feel against me. This… having you close to me like this, it’s the best feeling in the world.”
“I could be closer,” I whispered. “And that would feel even better.”
I lifted my ass up to grind over his lap, teasing his cock as I did and making him grit his teeth and moan through them. “Keep doing that and I’ll be inside you sooner than you think.” He slapped my wet ass, making the bath water splash, and I laughed.
“That’s the whole idea.”
I reached down to take his cock into my hand and stroke him firmly in that way that made his eyes roll into the back of his head and his breath hitch in his throat.
“That feels fucking awesome,” he groaned and started to thrust gently into my hand, as his own hand massaged my ass, gripping my ass cheeks and pulling them apart slightly, making me wet with need for him.
I raised my hips higher and rubbed his cock in between my legs, using him and teasing him, sliding his thick head into my pussy then pulling out, and swirling it around my clit.
“That’s it, baby,” he moaned. “Use my cock to get yourself off.”
He rocked his hips in time with mine and leant his head forward to steal another kiss, this time fucking my mouth, holding the back of my head with one hand to keep me there where he wanted me, as the other hand squeezed my ass.
The need in me grew to epic proportions, and I felt like I’d die if I didn’t have him inside me in the next minute. So I positioned him right where I needed him and pushed down hard, sinking onto his cock and crying out at how fucking amazing it felt to be stretched by him, to feel him against my walls deep inside me. There was no greater feeling than this. Well, apart from the impending orgasm that he was a master at giving me, but it was all one and the same.
I clenched hard around him, making him give a sexy, low groan, then I raised back up until he was almost out of me and slammed down hard again. The way his cock massaged me from inside felt incredible. All I could focus on was how he was making me feel. The pure desire and love for this man that ran through my veins, touched every inch of my soul and blanketed my whole body, it was overwhelming. I lifted up again and sank back down, holding onto his chest, but not breaking our kiss. This wasn’t a fuck; we were making love. Without a doubt, I don’t think I’d ever felt so in-tune, so connected and in love with another person as I was now.
I bounced up and down on his cock, rubbing my clit against him and rotating my hips to coax out that crazy, intense feeling that was burning up inside me. Slowly, I increased the pace until my legs started shaking and I moved my head to rest on his shoulder, grabbing him around the neck to steady my quivering body.
He grabbed my ass with both hands and started to pull me down onto him, controlling the pace and rocking me backwards and forwards. His hips thrust upwards into me and I cried as I felt the first orgasm rip through me. The guttural sound he made in the back of his throat told me he enjoyed it too.
The water splashed around us as he slammed harder into me, slopping over the edges of the bath and making our skin slippery in such a seductive, sexy way. I could sense he was close from the throbbing and thickening of his cock, and the way his panting became erratic and his moans more urgent. A few more thrusts and I was coming apart again, contracting around him, squeezing him with everything I had as I rode the exquisite waves of pleasure he gave me. Then it was his turn to cry out, hot bursts of cum exploding inside me as he found his release and held me close to his chest.
I lay over him, both of us panting with the exertion until our breathing slowed. My head lay on his chest and the sound of his heartbeat racing then settling made me want to curl up in to him forever.
“I don’t want to move,” he sighed quietly into my hair. “I feel like I want to lie here with you all night just so I don’t miss a minute of having you in my arms.”
“I think we’ll have to move eventually, big man. Otherwise we’ll be all wrinkly and cold.” I wrinkled my nose and wiggled my ass, which was still sat on his dick, and he laughed.
“I could always add more hot water, you know.”
“Yeah, I know, but the part where we’re both shrivelled up prunes? That part I could skip.”
“Not every part of me will be shrivelled up with you sat like you are now.” He jiggled my ass in his hands and chuckled to himself as I felt him grow hard again.
“Easy tiger. Let’s move this back to the bedroom.” I licked my lips and he groaned at my teasing.
“I think we could be in for a long night.”
All the years of plotting, planning how to exact my revenge. All those years of thinking about the different ways I was going to make Harry Emerson pay for what he’d done to me and my father. Not once, in all those years did I expect my confrontation with him to be like this, at his house, with me holding onto his daughter like she was my fucking lifeline.
The Emerson house hadn’t changed much since the last time I was here. It was still a huge ass mansion with imposing white pillars at the door, a
nd long sash windows running along the two stories of the building. The driveway still had a fountain in the middle, trickling water and giving the front of the house a tranquil, calming aura. I felt anything but tranquil and calm though. Ryley squeezed my hand as we made our way up the steps to the black double doors. They opened before we even had time to knock, and Nina Emerson, Ryley’s mum, stood there with her hand on her chest, gasping as if she’d seen a ghost.
“Jackson? Oh my God, it is you! You look so much like your father.”
Nina blushed, realising what she’d said and then reached forward to grab Ryley into a hug. I didn’t let her hand go though. I wasn’t about to sever the last link I had to help keep my sanity in check.
“Mum, I’ve missed you.”
Nina smiled that heart-warming smile I’d always revelled in whenever I was here. The smile that belonged to a real mum, who was proud of her offspring and loved them unconditionally, who lived for them. Then she stepped in front of me and reached up to plant a soft kiss on my cheek.
“I’m so glad you found your way back to us.” She rubbed my arm like she was soothing a lost sheep that’d found its way back to the fold.
She was gonna get a hell of a wake-up call when she realised I wasn’t here to play happy fucking families with her and her murdering husband. If it wasn’t for Ryley, I wouldn’t be anywhere near this place, but what my angel wants, she gets.
“I was never lost, Nina,” I managed to say through my tense jaw. If I kept clenching my teeth like this, I was gonna end up with an expensive bill for the dental work tomorrow.
Nina put her game face on, choosing to pretend that she hadn’t heard my comment, and led us into the hallway.
This hallway always used to blow my mind as a kid, it was so bloody intimidating. A sweeping staircase ran up the left-hand side of the entrance hall, and everything was either cream or gold, and looked expensive and extravagant as fuck. Don’t even get me started on the huge chandelier that hung in the middle of the whole goddamn place. It was opulent beyond belief, but it was home to my angel. It used to feel like a home to me too.
This Cruel Love (A Dark Hearts Stand-Alone Novel Book 2) Page 31
