I held my hand out to her and she skipped over to me, taking my hand and stealing my heart as she did. Damn, who was I kidding? The woman had my heart already. She took it the minute she stalked into my office all those months ago, full of sass and sexy as hell.
We walked hand in hand around the gardens. Nina always kept the flower beds immaculate and the lawns were perfectly manicured. No kids had been wearing out the grass with their games on this lawn recently. The last time I’d seen this garden there were patches of worn out grass all over the damn place. Evidence of where Travis and I had been playing football or building battle forts. I seem to remember Ryley going through a phase of digging up anything she could as well. Her little bucket and spade in her chubby hands as she upended Nina’s prize marigolds.
“What are you smirking at?” Ryley tugged at my arm, pulling me out of my trip down memory lane. “Not that I’m complaining. It’s nice to see that smile. You scowl too much.”
“I do not scowl.” I scowled and she threw her head back and laughed.
“No, you never do that, do you, big man?”
I stopped still and yanked her backwards so she swirled into my arms.
“You make me smile.” I gave her a soft kiss on the end of her cute little button nose and she wrinkled it again.
“Good. That’s my job now,” she said.
I pulled her in for a hug and buried my face into those soft, magical curls of hers. I loved her hair. I always had. It always smelt of some exotic fruits that I never knew the name of, and I could’ve happily stood and inhaled her all day. I was fascinated with how it curled so perfectly and was always bouncy. I started thinking about what it was like to drive into her from behind, grab a fist full of those curls and pull hard. The thought had me feeling all sorts of fucked up shit that was not appropriate to be feeling in plain sight on her parents’ back lawn. I ground my hips against her and she gave me a surprised look.
“Gardens really do it for you then, huh? Good to know.”
“You do it for me,” I growled, then stepped back and subtly adjusted myself in my trousers. No need to put on a show for the folks.
“Is the treehouse still down there?” I pointed towards the trees lining the edge of the garden. “I seem to remember it’s a lot more private down there.”
She bit down on her smile and nodded. “Still there, but I don’t think it’ll take our weight these days.”
It was my turn to throw my head back and laugh. “I wasn’t expecting to get into the damn thing. I’d just like to see it, you know, for old time’s sake.”
She twirled around and pulled me down towards the trees, just like she used to when we were kids.
“Come on, big man. Let’s go and play.”
I loved our treehouse, our little home away from home when we were kids. I seem to remember Travis monopolizing it more than was fair, but there were so many happy memories tied up in that wooden shack. It was the first place we’d hide out in the day, whenever the folks got mad. We even had passwords for our friends to use when they came over, so it felt like ours. We were in control, not just anybody could trespass. It was our sanctuary.
I ducked under the newly overgrown branches to get to the clearing. The wood had seen better days, and a few rungs on the ladder had broken off, but the house itself looked exactly the same.
Jackson strode over to stand right under it, holding onto the ladder as he did.
“So many memories.” He looked around and chuckled to himself when he saw the trickling stream nearby. “You could never be trusted over there.” He pointed to the water and laughed.
“I couldn’t be trusted anywhere.” I shrugged and moved to stand next to him at the base of the treehouse.
“What’s your favourite memory? From here?” He wrapped his arms around me and pierced me with his stare.
“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. “There’s too many to choose from. I guess I’d have to say the feeling of this place is the best memory.” He cocked his eyebrow at me, so I went on. “This place makes me feel like anything is possible. It’s magical. It’s ours.”
I bent down slightly to inspect the trunk, and sure enough they were still there, our initials, T and R.
“Travis did that when he was grounded one summer. He was so pissed off with the folks that he spent the majority of his time hiding out here. He carved our initials into the tree in protest. I think it was his way of rebelling.”
“I remember.” Jackson bent down and brushed aside a weed that was clinging to the bark, and there next to the T and R was a J. “He put mine on there too.”
I gasped. Why had I never noticed that before?
“You came here a lot, didn’t you? When you were growing up.”
He hung his head and a sadness washed over him. “Yeah, I did. Your house was a damn sight more appealing than mine was back then.” He shook his head, like he was shaking off the bad thoughts.
“So, what’s your favourite memory?” I ventured, not sure if dragging him back in time was a good thing, considering what had happened to his father.
“You.”
Damn, he always had a way of making me melt like a marshmallow on a camp fire. He said the sweetest things.
“What do you remember about me?” I sucked in my bottom lip, anxiously waiting.
He reached out to me and twirled one of my curls around his fingers and smiled. “I remember your hair. It was always tied up with a ribbon, but these curls could never be tamed. They were wild, just like you.” I blushed and dipped my head.
“I remember your mum would dress you up in the cutest little outfits, but you always ended up getting covered in mud or worse, falling in that damn stream over there.”
“What can I say?” I shrugged. “I was a Tomboy.”
“No, you weren’t a Tomboy, you were just inquisitive. I remember sitting with you when you had your little tea parties with your dolls, and pretending to drink tea out of an empty plastic tea cup like an idiot. I didn’t care though. I still did it, even though Travis thought I was a pussy. I’d do anything for you.”
I sighed. Why didn’t I remember all this? It wasn’t fair.
“I remember walking through your front door, and seeking you out way before I’d find your brother. I liked having you close. You… soothed me. I was always on edge back then, still am most days if I’m honest, but having you around, it changed all that. You were the calm in my storm, my little talisman. My happy place.”
“I’ll always be your happy place, for as long as you…” He hushed and stopped me talking by placing his finger over my lips, then giving me a gentle peck.
“But most of all, I remember how much I loved you. I always wanted to protect you. That day when you fell off here,” he said, knocking his fist against a cracked part of the ladder, “I’ve never felt fear like that, Ryley. That day made me realise that you were such an important part of my life. You were my fucking life. Without you I had nothing. You made me want to wake up and live another day, even on the shittiest days, the thought of seeing you was… it was everything. You have always been the sunshine in my life. My sunshine. Mine.”
He raised his head to the sky and blew out a low deep breath, then bent down to the floor.
“If you’re looking for evidence of my fall, I think it’d be long gone by now.” I joked, but then my words stuck in my throat.
Everything around us just stopped. Sounds, life, every fucking thing stopped when I saw him on his knee with… wait, was that two little velvet boxes he was holding out to me?
I covered my mouth with my hands and felt the tears welling up in my eyes.
“Please don’t cry, baby. I don’t want tears today.” He took another deep breath and then reached forward to pull my hands free from my face.
“Ryley, I love you. You’re my angel. I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without you in it. Well, actually I can, because I had to endure years of it, and let me tell you it was completely and utter
ly shit.”
He was trembling. He took another deep breath in, his chest puffing out as he struggled to maintain control.
“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I’ve wasted enough time in my life, I don’t want to waste another day. In the words of my best friend, Cill, I need to get this shit locked down before I fuck things up. Hmmm, that didn’t sound as romantic coming out of my mouth as it did in my head. Jesus, I’m messing this up big time-”
“Just say it.” I urged him on, desperate to shout my answer back and claim what was mine… him.
“Okay. Ryley, will you marry…”
“Yes!” I couldn’t even let him finish, I was so psyched to say yes and jump on him. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
He stood up and grabbed me, picking me up and swinging me round. “You won’t regret it,” he murmured into my neck. “I’m going to spend every day of my life trying to make you happy.”
“You don’t need to try,” I cried. “You already make me happy without even trying.”
He held me tightly and whispered into my ear. “I feel like everything that’s happened to me has led me to you. No matter what it was, what I did or where I’ve been, it’s all led straight to you. Every choice I made, every little mistake, all the good and the bad, it’s all been there, pushing me towards you. Now, when we’re together, I don’t regret my past or my mistakes because if I hadn’t made those, I might never have met you. It was always meant to be, you and me. We were always meant to be.”
How could I not fall in love with him even more after a declaration like that?
We stood, holding each other and lost in each other’s arms for ages before I eventually leaned back and frowned at him.
“Why do you have two boxes?”
He held them out in front of me again and then lifted the brand new black velvet box up.
“This one has been burning a hole in my pocket for weeks. I must’ve been to every jewellers in London and I couldn’t find the right one. I even dragged Cill along with me, although secretly I think he enjoyed it. So I had this one made, just for you. It’s my ring.”
He lifted the other box this time, a green and slightly worn velvet with an old-fashioned clasp on the front.
“This one I was given about twenty minutes ago by your father. It’s your grandmother’s engagement ring, which, according to your dad, was meant for you. He said he was waiting for the right guy to come along. Apparently, I’m worthy of it. Who knew?” He smirked, then with a puzzled expression, he looked between both boxes.
“I didn’t know which one to give you. So I’m letting you choose.”
Wow! I did not expect that. I didn’t even know my grandma’s ring was still with us. Dad hadn’t offered it to Justin, and I just assumed Grandma had been buried with it. My grandma was such a romantic, I knew she’d have loved Jackson. She’d have definitely approved of this proposal, but would she want me wearing her ring? All her little snippets of advice and tales about Granddad and how crazy she was for him made me smile.
‘Ryley, when you meet ‘the one’ you’ll know. You’ll know because nothing and no one will ever stop you loving them or wanting to spend every minute of every day with them. You’ll wish nights were longer; that days could be spent lost in them and nothing else. They’ll consume your whole body, mind, and soul. Your tummy will ache with excitement at the thought of seeing them, being with them.’
Boy, was she right. That was exactly how I felt about Jackson. He didn’t expect anything from me, only love. He never drained my energy, or took me for granted. I knew without a doubt he’d always be faithful. It wasn’t in his nature to be any other way. He said I was his sun. Well, he was my moon. He made everything right. Without him, my world would come crashing down, everything would fall apart. He was the key to all my happiness, and I needed him as much as he needed me.
I picked up the green box.
“I loved Grandma so much. I know my grandad had this specially made for her because she always told me that he didn’t think a shop bought ring was good enough for his girl. She told me a lot of things, and because of her I know not to settle for less than, well, everything. But this… this is her ring, not mine. If I had to choose any ring, I’d choose yours.”
I passed the green box back to him and took the black one instead.
“I’ll always choose you.”
He let out a breath I hadn’t realised he’d been holding and then I noticed he was nervous.
“Why are you nervous?” I cupped his cheek and he leant into me.
“I’m worried in case you don’t like it.”
“I’d wear a piece of string on my finger if you chose it. Relax.”
I clicked open the box and almost stumbled as I saw the gorgeous ring he’d had made especially for me. The diamond was huge, I mean, movie star huge. A baguette framed with tiny little diamonds all the way around. It was one hell of a sparkling ring. But it wasn’t garish or tasteless, it was perfect.
“Do you like it?” he whispered lightly.
“I love it,” I answered through my tears.
He took the ring out and slid it onto my finger.
“I wanted it to sparkle like you do. I designed it to be light and magical, all the things you’ve brought into my life. It’s special, one of a kind. Just like you.”
I had no words. For the first time in my life I was struck dumb, and all I could do was breathe and smile like a lunatic. I grabbed his face and pulled his lips down to cover mine, before he said anything else that would shatter me. Damn, I could kiss this man all day every day given half a chance. Jeez, I would kiss him every day. Every. Single. Day.
I’m sure you can guess what happened next. The rungs of the ladder held up better than I thought they would with our weight against them. And my prince charming, my knight in shining armour, he was such a gentleman making sure I didn’t get any splinters in my ass. But I’m not sharing my post engagement bliss with you. Sorry, not this time. Some things are better left to the imagination, and for now, I want to keep it private. Just between me and my future husband. Don’t worry, there was a happy ending. A very happy ending for both of us. Well, I had more than one happy ending, but that goes without saying when you have a god-like man between your thighs.
One year later…
This was the longest I’d gone without seeing Jackson, and I was having serious withdrawal already. Twenty-four hours and counting. Okay, so today was our wedding day. I couldn’t really complain, but still it didn’t feel right being away from him.
Sitting in my childhood bedroom, I glanced around at all the little trinkets and memories my parents had kept here. This room was like a museum of my younger years. Hanging up on the back of the door to my bathroom was my wedding dress. White, lace, and fitted with a cute little train at the back, it was the most beautiful dress I’d ever owned. I couldn’t wait to get into it and race down that aisle that my parents had set up in our back garden, so I could get to my happily ever after, my man.
I always thought I’d be one of those brides that tried on a billion dresses before they found the right one, but this dress was the first one I tried, and even though I tried a few more on just to be sure, I knew it was the one the minute I slipped into it. Mum and Sylvie agreed too. Yes, I invited Sylvie to come wedding dress shopping with me. She was the closest thing Jackson had to a mother, and seeing as she’d had a say in the other dresses Jackson had bought me in the past, I knew she had good taste. We both insisted that Sylvie and Len played a role in our wedding. They would sit with the bridal party at the top table for the reception afterwards. Sylvie tried to refuse. She always hated a fuss, but they had to be there, they were his family, and soon they would be mine too.
I was antsy and couldn’t wait any longer for Mum to come and help get me into my dress, so I bent down to lace up my diamanté encrusted chucks.
“Ryley Emerson, what on Earth are you putting on your feet?” Mum laughed. “There’s a perfectly good pair of Jimmy
Choos in the box over there. Please tell me you’re not walking down the aisle in those chucks?”
“But it’s for Grandma,” I argued. “Remember how she always joked about running down the aisle to snag Grandpa?”
“Good lord, for your father’s sake, please tell me you aren’t planning on running down there?” She rolled her eyes and placed a large blue box onto the bed next to me.
“Only in my head, Mum, don’t panic. Plus, if he changes his mind and tries to do a runner I’ll be well equipped to chase after him.”
“From the look of your young man downstairs I don’t think that’ll be a problem. I think if he had his way he’d be whisking you off to elope right this second.”
“Is he nervous?”
“He’s taking nerves to a whole new level. He can’t sit still.”
I looked at the box and frowned. “Is this from him?”
“Actually, no. It’s from that insanely attractive best man of his. I’m hoping to get a dance out of that one later. I think he’ll be busy though. He’s definitely got a way with the ladies. Poor Daisy doesn’t know what to do with herself downstairs.”
I could just imagine Cill putting his killer moves on Daisy, and every other woman today. He’d already told me he was looking forward to all the wedding sex he’d been told about.
“I’ll give you a few minutes to open it and get your thoughts together. Then I’ll come back and help you into your dress.”
Mum turned and left, pulling the door to and leaving me alone with my excited butterflies and my eagerness.
I placed the box in my lap and pulled the lid off. Lying on top was a note in Cill’s scribbled handwriting.
Ryley,
So, today’s the day the male population will be in mourning. I can’t believe you chose the moody old guy over me! I did see you first, but I guess I can overlook that. He worships the ground you walk on, and the guy did deserve a break.
I’m glad he met you. I couldn’t have picked a better sister in-law. Anyway, enough with all the mushy stuff. I love you and if he ever messes up, I’ll be there to pick up the slack.
This Cruel Love (A Dark Hearts Stand-Alone Novel Book 2) Page 34
