by Joyce Alec
She said nothing more but turned away from him at once, her lip curled slightly as though she could not do or say anything more and certainly did not want to be in his company. Charles was left staring after her, his face flushed red and his hands clenched tightly. The duchess had spoken with such alacrity that he felt as though he had shrunk in her sight, as though he had diminished in size, and fearing that others would have heard her setdown of him, Charles turned away and took a few steps further to his right, hiding in between a few gentlemen conversing. He did not want to pretend that he was entirely faultless, for he knew that he had been very dismissive of Miss Jones, but at the same time, he did not want to have anyone see his flushed face or his embarrassed look. Standing as tall as he could, his hands clasped behind his back and choosing not to speak to anyone, he looked out at the dance floor in the hope of spotting the Duke of Sussex and Miss Jones.
It did not take long to see them. They were just finishing the final few steps of the dance and there was such a lovely smile on Miss Jones’ face that Charles felt his heart drop to the floor only to thunder back into his chest with a great force. The duke bowed and she curtsied, and then the dance was over and the duke was leading her back toward where Charles had been standing.
“That was wonderful,” the duke said, smiling delightedly at Miss Jones, whose expression was bright with happiness still. “You are an excellent dancer, Miss Jones, just as I thought you would be.”
“I thank you,” she replied, taking her hand from his arm and glancing toward Charles. Her smile faded almost at once, when the only thing he wanted was for it to stay. “I hope you did not mind waiting, Lord Allerton.”
He shook his head quickly, aware that there was a great burden on his soul that he simply had to rid himself of. “No, not at all.” Glancing at the duke, he gave him a small shrug. “The duchess left my company. I fear I do not know where she has gone.”
A knowing look came into the duke’s eye. “I see. Well, then, I shall go in search of her.” He bowed again toward Miss Jones. “Until the country dance, Miss Jones. I look forward to it.”
Charles waited until the duke had left Miss Jones’ side before he turned back to her, his heart quickening with the sudden awareness of what he wanted to say.
“Miss Jones, I—I wonder if we might speak for a moment.”
Her eyes lifted and she nodded wordlessly, no smile lingering on her face now.
“Perhaps in private?”
Hesitating, Miss Jones looked up at him for a long moment, before letting out a small sigh. “Tomorrow might suit better, Lord Allerton,” she told him, gesturing to the crowd. “It would be quite impossible to find a private space here and I would not want anyone to throw dirt onto your reputation.”
Sighing inwardly but aware that she was being very wise in her conduct, Charles nodded and tried to stem his frustration. “A walk in Hyde Park, then?” he asked hopefully. “Tomorrow afternoon. It will be very cold, of course, so unless you wish to—”
“I will be sure to dress warmly,” she interrupted with not even a spark of happiness coming into her eyes. “Tomorrow afternoon will suit very well indeed.”
7
The carriage was very cold when it came time for Alice to climb back inside and return home. The earl came in after her and shut the door tightly, leaving Alice to sit by Lady Fossett whilst he sat opposite them. Lady Fossett had chosen to spend the entirety of the evening apart from Alice and from Lord Allerton and Alice had not even caught sight of her during the many hours that had passed. She suspected that this had been entirely on purpose, thinking silently to herself that Lady Fossett had feared Alice would embarrass the family once again.
She sighed heavily and looked out of the window, although there was very little that could be seen. She shivered again, grateful for the rugs that had been waiting for them. Adjusting them slightly, she then pulled her cloak a little tighter about her and wondered just how long it would be until they reached Lady Fossett’s townhouse.
“Did you enjoy this evening, Miss Jones?”
A little surprised that Lord Allerton wanted to make conversation, given that she was quite certain he would be tired of her company, Alice turned to look at him but could barely make out his face in the flickering shadows.
“It went very well,” she answered, hearing Lady Fossett’s slight snort of evident disagreement. “I thank you.”
“But did you find any enjoyment from the evening?” he asked, sounding more than a little eager as though he was desperately hoping she had enjoyed herself. “You were not as…” He trailed off, making Alice frown hard.
“If you are asking me whether or not I felt out of place, as I have done before, then you will be glad to know that things are much improved,” she said, a little tartly. “But that is only because the duchess has been very kind to me.”
There was a long silence thereafter, and Alice turned to look steadfastly out into the darkness, choosing not to say anything more. She had no qualms in stating quite openly that the Duchess of Sussex had been kinder to her than either her betrothed or Lady Fossett. There was not even a single modicum of doubt over such a statement, and she was not about to pretend otherwise.
“I must hope to make amends for my lack of consideration.”
Alice turned her head, now beginning to wish that she could see Lord Allerton’s features.
“Your lack of consideration?” Lady Fossett asked, as though Lord Allerton was being quite ridiculous. “What can you mean, Allerton? You have been nothing but kind to Miss Jones and she should be grateful to you for—”
“You know very well that I have been less than considerate, Aunt,” came the hard reply, slicing the air in the carriage. “And yet you have said nothing.” There was a momentary pause and Alice sucked in a breath, waiting to hear what would be said next.
“And I fear,” Lord Allerton continued, his voice low and filled with emotion, “that you have not lifted a word of protest to my ears because you yourself are contented to treat Miss Jones in such a way.”
Alice’s heart began to pound furiously as she leaned back against her chair, feeling the tension rise between Lord Allerton and Lady Fossett. She dared not say a word but was still quite astonished by the way Lord Allerton had spoken to his aunt. This was not something she had ever expected to hear from him, given that he had been contented to leave her to her own company and supposed his aunt to be treating her with as much consideration as she deserved.
“I have done all I can to make Miss Jones feel welcome!” Lady Fossett trilled, although her voice shook. “You know very well that I—”
“You have done nothing for her trousseau.”
A gasp of shock rattled from Lady Fossett’s lips.
“You have not even aided her in finding new gowns,” the earl continued, his voice now filled with ire. “You have not done as you ought, Lady Fossett, in much the same way as I.”
A slight tremor ran through Alice’s frame and she turned her head away from Lord Allerton and back toward the window, praying that what Lord Allerton had said would not bring consequences down upon her own head. She and Lady Fossett managed to get along simply by ignoring each other for the best part of the day, with a few sharp words exchanged here and there. She did not want Lady Fossett now to begin bringing curses or the like down on Alice’s head, blaming her for Lord Allerton’s rebuttal.
“Things must change,” Lord Allerton finished, his words still firm but his voice now a trifle more gentle. “I speak to myself as much as to you, Aunt. I pray that you will understand and consider what I am saying. Miss Jones and I will wed in a fortnight and I must have my family in harmony before that day comes.”
Alice wanted to snort with disbelief, thinking it quite impossible that Lady Fossett would ever come to consider her in a good light, but she forced herself to remain silent and continued to look out of the window. Silence descended on the carriage once more and not another word was spoken until, finally, they arrived
at Lady Fossett’s townhouse.
“Good evening, Lord Allerton,” Lady Fossett murmured as the door opened and a footman held out one hand, ready to help Lady Fossett to the ground. “I shall take your words to heart, I assure you.”
Alice did not believe this for a moment but pressed her lips together, hard, so that she would not say a single word of what she was thinking. She made to move past Lord Allerton so as to climb out, but much to her surprise, he reached out and grasped her hand so that she was forced to sit back down again where Lady Fossett had been seated only a few moments before. Lady Fossett was hurrying up the steps and into the house, and Alice could feel the bitter cold biting at her legs as she waited for Lord Allerton to speak.
“I do mean everything that I have said,” he told her, looking into her eyes as though with his earnest look, he might have her believe him. “The duchess has given me such a reprimand that I have been forced to look at my behavior and can see quite clearly where I have been wrong.” He shook his head and sighed heavily, his eyes dropping from her face. “I must hope you will be able to forgive me, Miss Jones.”
She did not know what to say, feeling a slight tingling moving from her fingers up her arm as he held onto her hand tightly. He appeared to be quite serious, without even the slightest hint of teasing or mockery in his voice. She wanted to believe him, wanted to trust that what the duchess had said to him had, in fact, made a difference, but she still could not quite be certain. The memory of the note ran around her mind, making her pull back from him a little.
“If things change, then I will consider forgiving you,” she answered, slowly pulling her fingers away from his. “It is all well and good to speak of your regret, Lord Allerton, and to tell me of your determination to change things as regards our acquaintance, but I must see proof of it before I can begin to believe you.”
Lord Allerton sighed heavily but nodded. “I can well understand that,” he agreed quietly. “Good evening, Miss Jones. I look forward to walking with you tomorrow.”
She said nothing more but climbed out of the carriage, holding on tightly to the footman’s hand as he helped her across the frostbitten ground. The stone steps were so cold, she could feel the chill permeate her shoes, making her shiver all over. Hearing the carriage roll away, she stepped inside the house without even a backwards glance in the earl’s direction.
It was not until she reached her bedchamber that Alice finally began to feel a little warmer. The rest of the house would have fires laid in the morning, but for the present, the staff had only laid a fire in Lady Fossett’s bedchamber and in her own. The heat wrapped itself about Alice’s shoulders like a thick blanket and she hurried toward it, grateful that the flames gave off such a warmth. Even with her cloak still about her, it took some minutes before Alice began to feel warm again, although she was glad that the cold had sent Lady Fossett to her own bedchamber without hesitation. It meant that if the lady had intended to say something to Alice—and Alice believed that Lady Fossett would have more than a few things to say—she had not had the opportunity to do so as yet.
“That pleasure will have to wait for the morning,” she murmured to herself, a half-smile catching her lips. Shaking her head to herself ruefully, she began to untie her cloak, pushing the hood back from her face.
“Might I help you, Miss Jones?”
She turned to see a tired-looking maid standing just inside the doorway, having clearly been sent so that she might assist Alice into her night things.
“I can manage,” Alice said, feeling a trifle sorry for the girl, who looked as though she should have been asleep long before now. “Please, do not let me keep you from your bed.”
The maid gave Alice a small but grateful smile, bobbed, and then turned away, making to close the door.
“Oh, I almost forgot!” The maid came back into the room, pulling out a note from her pocket and handing it to Alice. “This arrived for you earlier this evening, just a few minutes after you’d gone.”
Alice reached for the note and took it from the maid, feeing her heart begin to sink low in her chest. If this was what she feared, then there would be nothing but darkness contained within it.
“Good night, Miss Jones.”
“Good night,” Alice mumbled, her eyes on the note as she turned it over in her hand, seeing the wax seal that held no mark. It was, in every appearance, remarkably similar to the one she had received before.
Sighing heavily, Alice considered the note for a few moments, wondering whether she ought to read it or simply throw it on the fire as it was. Surely, if she knew there was nothing but venom held within, then there was no reason for her to read such words?
But I cannot be certain.
Closing her eyes, Alice let out her breath slowly, trying to steel herself for what she knew was to come. Breaking open the seal, she looked down at the letter as she unfolded it, preparing herself for what would be contained within.
‘You may think you are improving yourself but your presence here is still unwanted. You fall short in every way, Miss Jones. Leave this house and this family. We will be better off without you here, bringing such disdain upon the name of Allerton.’
That was all it said. It was yet more of the very same sentiments that she had read before, but even though she had expected them, there came that same crash of agony into her soul that she could not hide from. Sitting down slowly, she looked at the letter again and read each word over, trying to decipher who had written it.
It had been much more bold this time, in its references to the family name of Allerton. The writer spoke as though he or she knew the situation intimately, as though he were a part of her life as it was at present.
Which meant it was either Lady Fossett or Lord Allerton himself.
Again came that cloud of doubt. Had her father promised Lord Allerton some sort of compensation if she did not agree to the marriage? Was he trying his best to make certain that she thought well of him, so that when the struggles became too much for her to bear, she could throw no responsibility for her decision at him? Leaning forward, Alice rubbed at her forehead, trying to remove some of the pain from her heart. If this was Lord Allerton, then everything he had said to her in the carriage had been nothing more than a pretense, nothing more than an act. He did not really want her here, did not really feel shame over how he had treated her thus far. It was all just a ploy.
“But you do not know if he is the one who wrote this,” she told herself aloud, even though her heart sank with a growing certainty that she could not hide from. “You cannot assume, Alice.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she lifted the note up again, so that she might scour the words for another clue as to who might have written it. Her heart ached terribly, her mind struggling to believe one thing over the next. Lord Allerton had been very sincere in all that he had said, making her want to trust him in his promise to try and make amends, but if these notes were from him, then she could not believe a word of it. Closing her eyes, Alice let out a long, slow breath and forced her tears back. She would not permit herself to start crying over Lord Allerton again. There had been enough of that already and if she was to find out the truth, then she would have to continue with both her courage and her determination as steadfast as before.
Getting up from her chair abruptly, Alice threw the note into the fire and watched it burn, just as she had done with the first. One thing had become quite clear to her, even in the depths of her confusion. She had to discover whether or not Lord Allerton was telling the truth, and that meant trying to find out what her father had promised him, should her engagement to Lord Allerton come to an end. She had asked him already, of course, and he had refused to answer her, but this time she was not going to accept such a refusal from him.
Somehow, she would find the answers that she needed.
8
“I do hope you are warm enough.”
Alice smiled tightly at Lord Allerton, feeling a chill take over her heart but it was not f
rom the cold.
“Your carriage is very cozy,” she stated as Lady Fossett let out a small mutter that sounded more like a groan than anything else. “I thank you.”
“It is very wintery today,” Lord Allerton replied, looking out of the window at the white snow that dusted almost every surface. “I am quite certain that we will have more snow very soon.”
Alice said nothing but looked away from Lord Allerton, taking in the winter scene as he did but finding no joy in it. The memory of the note was still heavy in her mind, but she had no ability to discuss it with Lord Allerton as yet, not when Lady Fossett was present. Thankfully, the lady had stated quite clearly that she would not be joining them for their walk in the park, even if it was only a few minutes long, for it was not something she cared for. Therefore, Lord Allerton had made quite certain that his carriage was adequately prepared for his aunt, which meant they traveled very comfortably indeed.
“Ah,” Lord Allerton muttered as the carriage began to slow. “Here we are, Miss Jones.”
Alice looked out of the window just as the carriage turned into Hyde Park. It seemed to have a good deal more snow than the rest of London, although perhaps, she considered, it might be because the snow here remained largely untouched.
“A short walk, I think,” Lord Allerton commented as the footman opened the door. “Come, Miss Jones. We will not venture far.”
Alice climbed down carefully, grateful for the duchess’ seamstress, who had sent over some very warm gowns for Alice to wear. Her hands were snug in her muffler and she fell easily into step with Lord Allerton.
“Will you not take my arm?”
She looked up at him in surprise, seeing the hesitation on his face as he offered her one arm, as though he feared she would not accept it.
