by Skyler Snow
Now that he mentioned it, I was starving. My stomach growled. Yeah, I needed to put something in me right away. I took his hand and he helped me out of bed. I quickly realized that I was still pretty-much naked, and covered myself up.
"I should, uh… shower and get changed." I bit my lip. "Where's Carsen?"
"He's at work already." Lukas squeezed my arm. "Take your time. I'm still working on getting breakfast done for you."
"Thank you." I smiled, but muttered the words as my cheeks heated again. "I'll be quick."
I scurried out of their bedroom into my own, closing the door behind me, pressing my back up against the door, and I glanced around. Had I really stripped in front of them? I closed my eyes and imagined their hands working on me in tandem. The roughness of their fingers, the heat from their palms. Fuck. What were they doing to my head?
I let a smile curl my lips and walked over to my dresser. It was unexpected, but it was an incredible night. Every hit that Carsen delivered, and every stroke that Lukas gave had been phenomenal. The only bad thing about it was when I started crying. I still wanted to figure that out. I hadn't been sad, I'd been horny and excited. I wanted to find out exactly what was going on. They’d tried to explain it to me, but damn, I was still confused.
I rummaged through my drawer and found a pair of comfortable shorts and a big t-shirt. I carried them to the bathroom, emptied my bladder and turned on the shower while I stripped out of the lilac panties that I'd worn the night before. I tossed them to the side and turned the music on my phone up so I had something to listen to while I showered. Steam started to slip from the shower and I knew the water was nice and hot. The minute I was about to step inside of the tub my phone rang and I glanced down at the name.
Janet James.
My breath caught in my throat. Mom. She hadn't responded to me in weeks, but now she was calling me right after what I'd done with Carsen and Lukas. It couldn't be a coincidence, right? I touched the phone and my hand trembled. What did she want? Part of me wanted to say screw it and let it ring, but I missed her voice. I missed the comfort and sweetness of my mother. As much as I wanted to be angry with her, I couldn't. I missed her.
I snatched the phone up and answered. "Mom?"
"Reece," she sighed. "Are you okay?"
I bit the inside of my cheek. What was I supposed to say to that? The two people I was supposed to love and trust most in the world, and who were supposed to love me unconditionally, had thrown me out just because I was different from them. They'd tossed me into the streets without a second thought. How could I be anything but... damaged?
"That was a silly question," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, Reece. All I've been thinking about is you."
"You haven't said a word."
"I was trying to give you time." She sniffled and my chest grew heavy. "You know that I love you and I want you to come back home more than anything."
I froze. "You do?"
"Of course! Don't you think it's time for us to move on from this?"
I didn't know what to say. My words caught in my throat. Of course I wanted to go home and make up with them, but so much had changed. My mind went to Lukas, Carsen and Aylah. I would be leaving them all behind.
"I don't know, Mom," I gripped the phone so hard it hurt. "I-I kind of like it here."
"Don't you miss us? Your brother and sister?"
"Of course I do!" My voice trembled. "Can I come and visit?”
She sniffled, but I heard the smile in her voice. "I think that would be great." She chuckled. "I can't wait to see your face again. I'll have Dad send you some money."
I paused. "And... Dad wants me home?"
"Yes," she sighed. "You know he loves you too. We both want you back here." She was quiet for a minute. "Have you had time to think about your... proclivities?"
I furrowed my brows. "My what?"
"You know, your…" she paused and then whispered the word. "Desires. Have you had time to deal with them?"
"What do you mean deal with them, Mom?"
"Look, we want you back. We really do. You know that you can't bring your lifestyle back into this house though. So, come home and let's forget about the whole thing."
My stomach dropped. That's what she meant. I was fine, as long as I wasn’t soiled and disgusting. It was the reason I'd held back before. The reason I now felt so dirty. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks, but I kept them quiet. I wasn't going to cry, not for them. Even if it tore me apart.
"I have to go, Mom."
"Reece," she said quickly. "Please, think about this. Your siblings, your father, and me. We all just want you to do the right thing. If you've done something, anything, God will forgive you. Just repent and come home."
Repent. I laughed out loud at the word. What had I done so wrong? I was still a virgin, but I knew that in her and my father's eyes, I was still so very wrong. Wearing women's panties, letting myself be spanked and touched by two men. I was a disgrace. I'd tried so hard not to hurt them anymore, but did they give a shit if they were hurting me?
"I'm fine where I am," I snapped. "You guys can go on living your perfect little lives and just leave me here on my own. I won’t embarrass any of you anymore.”
"Reece—"
"Goodbye, Mom!"
I jabbed my finger against the screen over and over. Even when the call ended, I kept stabbing at it, my eyes watering. My legs felt weak. I stumbled backward and found my way to the toilet seat. I sank down on it.
They really didn't give a damn about me. I shoved my face into my hands and let the sobs overtake me. What the hell was I even doing? I was so lost I didn't even know anymore.
16
Carsen
"What's wrong?"
Lukas sighed. "I don't know. One minute he woke up and he was pretty okay. The next he won't come out of his room." Lukas was quiet for a moment. "Do you think we went too far? What if he's upset about last night?"
I tapped my pen against my desk. I thought Reece was okay with everything that happened the night before, but Lukas might be right. He was under so much pressure and stress. Had we touched too raw a nerve?
"Maybe I should come home."
Lukas sighed. "No, it's okay. I'll keep an eye on things here. You just get through the day and we'll see you for dinner."
I frowned. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. I'll go check on him right now. I love you."
"I love you too."
I hung up and stared at my screen for a minute. We probably shouldn't have pushed Reece too far. I shouldn't have.
The day dragged by for me. I was worried about Reece. As soon as I could leave work, I hightailed it outta there like my feet were on fire. I made it home in record time and vowed to never tell either of them just how many traffic laws I'd skirted on the way.
I stepped into the house and glanced around. It was quiet. I dropped my keys on the hallway table and padded through the house. Lukas turned when I entered his office and frowned.
"Hey," he said quietly. "How was work?"
I waved a hand. "Never mind that. What's going on?"
Lukas slipped his glasses off of his face. "Reece has been holed up in his room all day. I brought him food and water, but he won't eat more than a bite and drink more than a sip." He frowned. "Something happened. It must have."
"Let me go talk to him."
"Are you sure?" Lukas asked. I paused and turned back to him. "It's just that you tend to be a bit heavy-handed when it comes to these kinds of things. I should go with you."
I frowned. "You don't think I can handle being sensitive?"
Lukas raised and dropped one shoulder. "I'm pretty sure you can, you are with me." He touched my arm. "I just worry about Reece, that's all."
I looked him over. "You care about him."
"Yeah. I do."
I held out my hand. "I care about him too. Let's go check on him together then."
Lukas smiled. He stood up and slipped his hand inside of mine. I squee
zed it, kissed him, and then walked out of the room. We quietly walked to Reece's bedroom and knocked on the door.
"Yeah?" He called quietly.
"It's us." I touched the doorknob. "Can we come in?"
Reece was quiet for so long, I was sure he was going to say no. "I guess."
I exchanged looks with Lukas. Slowly, I opened the door and we both stepped inside. Reece lay on the bed on his stomach. His phone was on the pillow in front of him. He hit the button to darken the screen before he rolled over and looked at the two of us.
"What's up?"
"How are you doing?" I walked over to the bed and sat down. "You've been holed up in here all day, right?"
"Hmm," he nodded slightly. "What about it?"
There was a clipped tone to his voice. I frowned. He'd seemed happy the night before, and the past few weeks as well. He hadn't been the way he was now. I reached out and laid a hand on his knee.
"What happened?"
Reece snatched his leg away from me. "I'm fine."
I raised a brow. "You don't seem fine to me. It seems like you're hurting."
He glanced away. "I said I'm fine."
"Reece..."
Reece shot up. "God, will you just leave me alone! I don't want to be a part of your little freak show here!" He climbed out of bed. "I-I can't do this."
Lukas crossed to him and reached out for Reece's arm. He stopped short and thought better of it, apparently, because he shoved his hands into his pockets.
"You can't do what?" Lukas asked quietly.
Reece shook his head. "Any of it. This, you guys, me." The tears started and he quickly shoved an arm across his face and hid it. "I need to get out of here."
I stood up quickly. "You're not making any sense." I reached out for him and held his shoulders. "And where are you going to go if you leave here?"
"A-anywhere!" His shoulders shook as he sobbed. "If I stay here it'll just get worse. They will never forgive me if I keep living like this. I-I have to do something."
I frowned. "Who? Your parents?" I asked.
Slowly, Reece nodded, but he kept his eyes trained on the ground. "Yeah." He rubbed a hand up and down his arm. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to stay in here, and… I don't know. Do nothing."
“Reece, they’re not going to change.” I couldn’t hide the truth from him just because he was avoiding it himself. “They don’t want to change.”
Reece shook his head. “You don’t know that. They’re not bad people!”
“They’re making you feel like shit because of who you are as a person,” I pushed. “They wanted to send you to a fucking conversion camp just because you’re gay.”
“I’m not! You don’t know that.” Reece gripped his shirt, his breathing short, rapid pants. “I could change. I could do it for them.”
“Would that make you happy?” Lukas asked quietly. “If you had to pretend to be something you’re not for the rest of your life, would you be okay with that?”
Reece stared at the floor. Both Lukas and I knew the answer to that question. No, he would be miserable if he went back home. I seethed. How dare his parents make him feel the way they were making him feel? How dare they beat him down when they were clear across the country.
“Assholes,” I spat. “They’re stupid as fuck if they can’t see what they have in front of them. You’ve been nothing but kind and good since you got here. How could they not see that?”
“Carsen.” Lukas placed his hands on my shoulders. “Maybe you should go out into the hall and calm down. I know you’re upset, but this isn’t helping.”
I scowled. I pushed myself up from the bed and stalked to the door before I wrenched it open. They were lucky they were so far away or I’d be locked up for punching both of them in the face.
“Carsen.” I stopped and turned back around. Reece toyed with his shirt. “You’re right. I know you’re right.” He shook his head. “I just wasn’t expecting it today and it... it hurts.”
“Oh hon.” Lukas caressed his cheek. “I’m so, so sorry.” He shook his head. “We don’t want you to leave. Please, stay. You’ll always have a home here with us.”
“Exactly.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “And you never have to be ashamed of what you like and what we do in this house. You’re an adult. You’re allowed to live your life.” I shook my head. “Even if you said you were straight and went back home—”
“They would never believe me.” Reece nodded. “I know.” He sighed deeply. “I know. I’m just... I...” He gripped himself and shook his head. “Upset.”
“It’s okay to be upset,” Lukas said quietly. “What would you like us to do? Do you want us to sit with you? Or would you prefer to be alone?”
“I don’t know,” Reece whispered. “I’m so fucked up and numb all at once.”
I looked him up and down. “Stay here.”
“Where are you going?” Lukas called.
I kept walking. “It’s fine. Just keep Reece company until I get back.”
“Okay.” Lukas sounded confused, but he let me go.
I went into the living room and looked around. Okay, I was going to cheer our boy up. Well maybe he wasn’t officially our boy, but I still cared about Reece and wanted him to feel better.
In our bedroom I grabbed some extra blankets and a ton of pillows. I tossed them on the floor and spread everything out until there was a big, soft pallet on the floor. I glanced at it and tapped my chin. It needed more, much more.
I’ll be the first to admit that I went a little overboard, but by the time I was done I felt proud of my work. Before I grabbed Lukas and Reece I changed into a pair of black shorts and a tank top. I wanted it to be as laid back as possible. Finally, I knocked on Reece’s door and stepped inside.
“Where have you been?” Lukas raised a brow.
Reece glanced up from where his head laid on Lukas’ lap. “Yeah,” he sniffled. “You disappeared!”
My eyes widened as he pouted at me. Be still my fucking heart. I crossed the room quickly and smiled down at him as my fingers pushed through his hair.
“I have a surprise for you.” I glanced up at Lukas. “Both of you. Come with me.”
“Do we have to leave my bed?” Reece frowned. “I don’t want to.”
“Trust me, this is way better than your bed.” I waved a hand toward the door. “I promise.”
Reece stared at me. His eyes flickered to Lukas who shrugged. Not even he had any idea what I was doing. Reece finally gave up. He stood up and draped a blanket over his shoulders like it was a cape. Slowly, he shuffled after me into the living room. When I turned around his jaw had dropped.
“What do you think?”
“Holy shit, Carsen,” Lukas whispered. “You did all of this?”
I glanced at my handiwork proudly. I’d turned the pallet into a full blown fort stuffed with pillows and extra blankets. The Christmas lights had been out in the shed, soft white twinkle lights that we usually used to decorate the fireplace. I’d strung them up again and dimmed the lights in the living room.
“Look inside.” I raised the front of the fort.
Reece nodded, but he still didn’t say a word. He dropped to his knees and crawled into the fort. Inside I’d used battery operated candles in different colors to light it up a bit. There were stuffed animals that I’d bought for Lukas and vice versa. I’d also stuck a cooler inside filled with chocolate, sandwiches and a few beers. If anyone deserved one, it was Reece.
He turned to me with watering eyes. “You did all of this... for me?” he whispered.
I nodded. “Of course I did.” I crouched down near him. “This is what family does. They don’t hurt each other, they help each other.” I reached out and patted his head. “I know we’re not technically family, but I’ve enjoyed having you here and so has Lukas.”
Lukas dropped down next to me. “It’s true. We’ve gotten used to your antics, and we adore you.”
Reece laughed softly and the
tears flowed. “Fuck, you two are the best.” He held himself tightly before he glanced up at both of us. His teeth worried his lip before he finally blurted out “Can I have a hug? From both of you?”
Lukas and I both moved forward at the same time, so fast that our heads connected. Pain flared through my head and Lukas groaned. Reece stared at us before he burst out laughing.
“Hey, we were injured trying to show you love, you little brat!” I poked him in the chest. “Stop laughing.”
“It-it was like something out of the Three Stooges.” He cackled. “Are you guys okay? You’re kinda old to be getting head injuries.”
I took the remote in my hand and shook it at him. “I was going to let you pick the movie.”
Reece lit up and reached for it. “Ooh, really?”
I yanked it back. “Now you can suck my dick. Brat.”
Lukas burst out laughing at the pout on Reece’s lips. “To be fair, you deserve that.”
“No, I’ll be good! Please,” Reece pleaded. He extended his arms, his eyes went puppy wide and that bottom lip jutted out more. “I didn’t even get my hugs yet.”
I rolled my eyes. “We spoil you.”
Lukas chuckled. “Yeah, we’re pretty guilty of that.”
We wrapped Reece up in our arms. The kid melted against us and nuzzled into my chest while Lukas stroked his hair. My heart squeezed painfully. God, I really fucking hoped he wouldn’t go home. I’d gotten too used to him.
It hit me like a brick wall. This was more than just having feelings for someone. I was falling for Reece.
17
Lukas
“Can I sleep with you guys?”
I blinked at Reece. I’d thought he was asleep. After watching movies, eating snacks and snuggling inside of the fort, he had fallen asleep with Carsen’s hand on his back and his head on my knee. I glanced over at Carsen who was already walking toward our bedroom.
“I should ask Carsen.” I stroked his hair. “I thought you were out for the night...”
