by Skyler Snow
The way both of them lit up like kids made my heart pound happily. I never thought I would meet one great guy, let alone two. Both of them were the definition of perfection.
"What did you get?" Reece tilted his head.
"Me? I brought this," I showed him the protein bar that I'd slipped out of my pocket. Reece and Lukas both pulled a face. "Hey, some of us need to maintain our figures."
They both exchanged looks and burst out laughing. I sighed. Pretty sure they were never ever going to stop making fun of me for being healthy. And I would never stop trying to keep them healthy. I wanted my guys around for a long time.
I moved between the two of them and sat down. "Shut up or I'll make you both eat salads for a month."
"Abuse," Reece whined. "That is horrible, mean abuse."
"Yeah, just tie us up and beat us why don't you?" Lukas grinned.
I wiggled my brows. "Don't tempt me!"
I yanked Lukas forward and kissed him hard. He chuckled against my lips, clearly enjoying teaming up with Reece to drive me crazy. I released him and then kissed Reece. He smiled and I was floored that something as simple as a movie day, junk food and a kiss from me could raise his mood.
The lights in the theater started to go down, but not before I glanced over my shoulder. My heart sank. Ryder sat a few rows back staring at the three of us. He was with one of the rookies, Parks. While Collins stared with wide eyes, the rookie looked like he wanted to throw up.
Fuck!
Not them. Why did it have to be them? I'd been so careful the whole time since I'd started this relationship with Reece. Now what? What was going to happen?
I was fucked, that's what. No one at the department knew I was gay, except Collins. The only reason he'd found out was because we'd gotten so close and I finally trusted him enough to let him know.
I had never told him however that I was polyamorous. The department wasn't going to look favorably on that. No matter how I looked at it, they would never understand that I was in a happy committed relationship with two people, let alone two men. Unfortunately, the world just hadn't progressed that much.
"Carsen?" Lukas touched my leg. "Carsen? What's wrong?"
What was I supposed to tell him? It wasn't as if my co-workers hadn't already seen us. There was no way I could play things off when they had watched me kiss not just Lukas, but Reece as well.
"Are you okay?" Reece frowned. "You look pale," he whispered.
I glanced between the two of them. What more could I do? It was already too late. My stomach churned. Nausea rose in my guts until I felt like I was going to puke.
"Nothing." I finally said. "Let's just watch the movie."
I took Lukas' hand and then Reece's. There was nothing left to do, but to let them enjoy the movie. Reece had already been through so much and Lukas just plain needed a day off. I couldn't ruin things for them. I couldn't tell them what I'd seen. All they would do was panic like I was doing on the inside.
Whatever was going to happen, that was in the future. For now, I wanted to focus on the movie and cuddle up with my guys. As if on cue both of them nuzzled against me and commenced eating their snacks. I already knew that halfway through they'd ask for more and I would be the one to have to go get them.
I smiled. Whatever they wanted, I would give it to them. I just prayed I still had a fucking job tomorrow to be able to do that.
29
Carsen
How much more could I pace? I still hadn't told Lukas or Reece about what happened the night before. Part of me felt like if I kept quiet about it then it wasn't real. It hadn't happened. Another part had been so fucking hopeful that neither officer would say anything.
That hope was dashed to fucking pieces. As soon as I'd come into work I was told in no uncertain terms that I was to go directly into the captain's office. Instead of seeing me right away I paced back and forth in front of it. They were making me wait. Was that a good sign or a bad sign?
"Malone!"
My throat was so dry I couldn't swallow. I gripped the knob to the captain's office, then took a deep breath trying to make myself calm down before I finally pushed the door open and stepped inside.
Captain Hawk sat behind his desk and stared at me. His pinched, red face wasn't a welcoming sight. He raised one thick hand and gestured to himself sharply. I closed the door behind me and sat down in the seat in front of his desk.
"Malone." He looked me up and down.
"Yeah," I fidgeted with my hands. "What can I do for you, sir?"
"I heard something very disturbing." He laced his fingers on his desk. "You and two other men in a movie theater?"
I blinked. I hadn't expected him to bring it up in such a direct manner. I nodded slightly.
"Right. One is my boyfriend."
"And the other?" He cut me off quickly.
"My... other boyfriend."
He sneered. "Two of them?"
"Yeah. Yeah," I nodded. "There are two of them. We're not doing anything wrong."
"Look," he sighed. "I can't have that. You know we have an image to upkeep, a code."
I nodded slightly. "I know," I muttered.
"Look as far as I'm concerned rumors have been spread throughout the precinct, but that might be all it is. Rumors." He shrugged slightly. "Still, I have to suspend you, give all of this some time to blow over."
"Blow over." I repeated the words and then laughed. "So, I'm not being punished because I did anything wrong. I’m an amazing cop who’s being suspended because of who I love.”
Captain Hawk leaned forward. "You know how it is here. I have superiors. This is going to get to them and it's all going to be investigated. There's nothing I can do about that." He tapped his desk. “Go home, get your ducks in a row. Pick yourself one boyfriend and we’ll call this a mishap.”
I scoffed. "A mishap,” I muttered. “Un-fucking-believable.” I bit back.
"Enough," Hawk snapped. "This is partly on you for not being more discreet. You know the rules here. Whatever you do in your own home is fine, but the minute it becomes exposed in here…" he waved around his pen, "…shit fucking changes."
Yeah, I knew the code. I knew how it went. There would be no mercy for me no matter how good of a police officer I was.
"I need you to fill out the paperwork upstairs. Leave your gun and your badge."
I scoffed. Everything I'd wanted to do in life had been stripped away from me. I wasn't in the NFL because I was gay. I wasn't going to be a cop because I was poly. There was nothing left for me, nothing to anchor me to the real world. I might as well start working for a fast-food restaurant. Where did it matter where I worked when I would simply be rejected again?
"Yes, sir." I shot up so fast the chair underneath me tipped over and banged against the floor. "
"Malone." I froze and slowly turned back around.
"Yes?"
"I'll try to see what I can find out for you, but this isn't something that I can control. If it gets out..."
"God forbid I make you look bad. Even with my impeccable record. Even though I've been an outstanding officer for years." I laughed and shook my head.
"It's just a paid suspension for now," Hawk frowned. "You're lucky it's only that and not me telling you that you're fired."
I laughed. "Yeah. Lucky." I turned back around and yanked open his office door. He called out to me, but I was finished with the conversation. I slammed the door behind me and it shook the frame.
Every step I took toward the elevator I felt every set of eyes on me. By now I was sure each of them had heard the rumor. Just like that I'd changed in their eyes. I'd become something less than. Something disgusting.
"Malone." My partner stopped in front of the elevator I stood in and panted. "I need to talk to you."
I jabbed my finger against the close door button. There wasn't a damn thing I had to say to Collins. The doors slid closed while we stared at each other. Apparently something on my face must have kept him away because he did
n't try to follow me.
The door to the car slammed when I yanked on it. My hands tightened around the steering wheel until my fingers burned. Every inch of me shivered and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. I had to calm down. I'd worked on controlling my temper over the years and I didn't want to break that now and freak out.
Usually on the drive home I turned on music, but not today. Instead, I drove in silence thinking about everything and wondering where I'd gone wrong. No matter what I did in life, I fucked it all up.
All I wanted to do was go home and climb into bed with my men. If I was on an extended fucking vacation I might as well enjoy it in their arms. The closer I came to home however, the more my stomach churned. I didn't want to explain to them how I'd fucked up. How pathetic I was. And I knew them. Lukas and Reece would blame themselves when it was my fault for not being more careful.
I stayed in the driveway a lot longer than I should. By the time I was ready to get out some of the anger had faded and was replaced with sadness. How was I going to provide for them if I ended up getting fired?
My phone rang and I jumped. I shivered and reached over onto the passenger seat. My phone had fallen underneath my jacket that I'd thrown there and I yanked it out irritated. I didn't recognize the number at all.
"Hello?" I answered shortly.
"Carsen."
I froze. That voice, I knew it all too well. My voice stuck in my throat. Every ounce of strength that I had left was suddenly sapped away. I swallowed hard.
"Dad."
"Yeah." He was quiet for a minute. "I need to talk to you."
"About what?"
It was quiet again and I thought I'd lost him. I yanked the phone away from my ear, saw that the call was still going and then pressed it to my ear once more. What did he want? Why was he calling me?
"Your mom is sick." He cleared his throat. "It's more than just sick. She's.." He sighed. "Carsen she's not doing too well."
"And what am I supposed to do?" I bit back at him. "What do you want? Spit it out."
"I want you to give a fuck that your mother is dying!" He screamed.
My heart caught in my chest. My mother was dying? I hadn't seen them in ten years and he was dumping that shit in my lap? I laid my head on the steering wheel.
"What's going on?"
My father sighed. "She just got sick out of nowhere." He made a noise that very nearly sounded like he was sniffling and crying. I’d never known that man to cry in his life. It was unnerving. "Lung cancer. That's what they're saying it is."
"Okay." I whispered still confused why he was calling me after so many years of hearing nothing but silence. "What do you want me to do?"
"I need you to come here. I'm still working and she can't take care of herself anymore." He sucked in a sharp breath. "All of our money has gone toward treatment for her and I don't have shit left. I can't afford to hire a nurse for her or a caretaker or whatever. You need to come home."
Home. Where I was now, that was home. Not back in Texas. There was a reason I'd fled to Arizona the moment I’d been accepted into a university and had the chance. It was better than being back there.
"Carsen."
"Dad," my words caught in my throat. "I-I don't know."
"What is there to know? She is dying." He scoffed. "After everything you've done to her don't you think you owe her this much?"
My shoulders slumped. What did it matter? I didn't have a job to go to and the home that I loved so much was merely a rental. I could go away for a while and check on my mother. It had been so long and I missed them. Even if I didn't want to admit that it was true.
"I'll be there."
A relieved sigh met my words. "Hurry, okay? She keeps asking for you and I ain't got the heart to tell her no."
My teeth snapped together. "Oh, but you'd do it if she wasn't fucking sick?"
"Don't fucking sass me, boy," he growled. "Your mother has put up with an obscene amount of nonsense from you and she doesn't deserve to be hurt anymore. Get yourself home so you can at least see her before she goes."
I pulled the phone away from my ear and jabbed at the end button. Of course I was going back, I had to do it. For her. I shoved the phone into my pocket and climbed out of the car. My body felt as if it weighed a ton as I shuffled into the house.
It wasn't quiet inside the way I thought it would be. Music blared, something cooked that smelled delicious and I even detected hints of laundry detergent which meant Lukas had probably been busy washing clothes since I'd left the house.
When I stepped into the living room I stopped and watched the two of them. Lukas folded clothes, his tongue shoved out of the side of his mouth in concentration while Reece pointed that fact out and giggled at him.
Together they turned and looked at me. If my day was utter and complete shit, which it was, the two of them wiped it away. Both of their faces lit up just seeing me. Reece was on his feet first and he wrapped his arms around me tightly. I buried my nose into his hair inhaling the aroma of lavender from the shampoo he’d started to share with Lukas. I held out an arm and Lukas grabbed onto me next and kissed my cheek before he hugged me too. My heart thudded in my chest and forced tears into my eyes.
"What are you doing home so early?" Lukas stared at me with wide eyes. "You're never home this time!"
I smiled. "We were a little overstaffed today." I kissed Reece and grinned. "Do you need some help?" I nodded toward the couch that was covered in unfolded clothes.
"You? Help fold clothes?" Lukas raised a teasing brow and grinned. "Look at you going for the brownie points. If you want me in bed just ask."
"Ooh, me too!" Reece shoved his hand into the air. "Ask me too!"
God they were so cute. I could tell them about what happened at work and afterward in the car, but what was the point? For now, I just wanted to enjoy their company. At least for a little while longer I wanted to pretend that the world was alright.
"Give me a kiss." I pulled them against me tighter. "Both of you."
We would have plenty to talk about tomorrow.
Also by Skyler Snow
Burns Brothers Series
Alpha's Surprise Baby
Taming The Alpha
Fated To The Alpha
The Lost Wolves Series (With Skye R. Richmond)
Betrayed
Skyler Snow
Skyler Snow is the author of sweet and steamy M/M books. When they're not writing they're hanging out with their twin or reading as many books as they can get their hands on.
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