Maybe we still would have been in the clear too, only a guy from Rogue's group home had seen her with Axel. Watched through the fucking window as he pushed her down beneath him, almost fucking destroyed her. He'd seen it all and done nothing to help. And when Luther's men went sniffing around for answers about Axel's death, he'd coughed them up without so much as a threat to his life.
When Fox and Maverick found out that their dad knew the truth, we all planned to run. To meet at the Rosewood Crypt, take our stash and run for the fucking hills. All of us together. But life was never that easy. I'd learned that the first day my sweet old Daddy had given me my first concussion. I should’ve known better.
"What happened that night?" Rogue demanded. "After Luther figured out we were planning to run, what the hell did he do to you all?"
My throat thickened at her words and I dropped her gaze for a second, sharing a glance with JJ who was working through his second Margarita already. Fox's sat untouched since his first sip and there was a darkness in his eyes which we all shared. Okay, so maybe telling her this stuff wasn’t as easy as I’d expected. Now I thought on it, it was starting to hurt like a bitch. I’d suppressed that shit for so long that I wasn’t remotely prepared for still feeling like this about it after all this time.
"After Luther spoke to Fox and Maverick, he summoned me and JJ to meet him at his house and took us all to the fucking woods in the back of a goddamn van," I started, a chill running through me at the memory. I would never forget it. In all my years, after all the bad shit I'd done since, that night still defined me in too many ways I wished it didn't.
"There were shovels in the back of it," JJ said, a hardness to his voice. "And when we got out in the pissing rain, he made us all bring one with us."
"For what?" Rogue whispered, but her eyes said she already knew. She'd seen the blood on us afterwards. She knew what we'd become.
"The kid from the group home you used to live with, Clive Anderson," I said. "He was on the ground, just waiting there like a lamb for slaughter in the rain."
Fox raised his chin as her eyes narrowed. We’d given her the bones of this story that night, but with everything else that had gone on, I wasn’t sure how fully she’d understood.
"And then?" she asked, a knowing look seeping into her expression but she clearly wanted to hear this.
"Like we told you back then, Clive saw you with Axel, saw him hurting you in his house. He stood there watching while that piece of shit attacked you, tried to rape you," Fox growled, disgust in his tone as his upper lip peeled back. "Then he gave you up to my dad's guys when Axel's body was found."
"Luther told us to kill him," JJ said, his jaw pulsing. I'd seen the hesitance in him that night. He hadn't wanted to become a killer. More than any of us, he'd resisted what we'd done. But in the end, Luther had said we either all did it, or he'd kill Rogue. And when it came down to it, she was always our priority.
"And you did," she said, her eyes shifting between us, her expression unreadable.
We all nodded and I took another drag on my smoke.
"It was you or him. Dad said he’d let you live if we proved ourselves," Fox said firmly, sitting up straighter in his chair. "It's not something I'd hesitate over now for a second, but Clive was our first. I guess that made it harder. It was still the right thing to do in hindsight."
"But you were just kids," Rogue growled, her eyes flaring protectively like she was angry at Luther for forcing that on us.
"Not after that we weren't," JJ said darkly before draining his drink. "We were Harlequins. Sworn in by blood."
"So then what? You were scared, so you told me to leave town?" Rogue guessed, her eyes watering and making my heart squeeze.
But I couldn't let her affect me like that anymore. I may have regretted the things that had happened between us, but whether it was right or wrong, her absence had fucked us all up so badly that her being here again was simply never going to be okay with me. The past was the past. And she needed to go back to it for all our sakes.
"Luther would have killed you if we'd gone after you. He threatened us, promised he would butcher you right in front of us if we ever dared search for you," JJ said, dipping his head as if he was ashamed. But fuck that. We hadn't had a choice.
"Fine, I get that. I'm not stupid, I know he threatened you, I knew it would be bad, but..." She blinked furiously a few times, forcing back her emotions. "But the way you went about it, how fucking cold you were with me, the way you destroyed my phone so I couldn’t even contact you while you all just watched me breaking right before you wasn’t necessary, was it?”
“Maybe we could have handled it differently,” Fox began but she just snorted derisively.
“You think? I had nothing. No one. Never fucking had aside from the four of you and you knew it. But I don’t really wanna hear you trying to excuse that bullshit because it’s far too late for that. So why not just explain to me what happened after?” she demanded, her expression hard and unreachable like she’d retreated behind a wall and had no intention of letting any of this touch her.
“After?” JJ asked, inching forward in his chair like he wanted to go to her before seeming to think better of it.
“Yeah. Because after a while, surely you could have found a way to message me? You left me. Abandoned me like you all swore you never, ever would. It was months before I even dared to give up on all of you, but when I did, I..." She shook her head, the pain in her eyes twisting into hate as she glared at us. "Luther's power resided here in Sunset Cove. You could have left. You could have found a way. And we could have run as far away from him as fucking possible. He never would have found us."
Her words burned through my veins right to my heart and I clenched my jaw. I'd found my true place in Sunset Cove after she'd left. It may have hurt like a motherfucker, but when it came down to it, I hadn't really wanted to leave this town behind. And it may have cost me my heart, but I had a life worth living now. Back then, I'd had nothing, no future. I'd been dirt poor and that never would have changed if I hadn't joined the Harlequins. As fucked up as the way it had happened was, I couldn't change it now. And we were all finally in a good place. So why did she have to come back here and screw that up after ten fucking years? When we'd all put it to rest.
"We tried," Fox swore, leaning forward and gazing at her with desperation. "We couldn't do it right away, my dad was watching our asses constantly. And after what he did to Maverick..." I cringed at his name and felt JJ do it too. He was almost as much of a ghost as Rogue had been. Only he was the kind who haunted us on a daily basis even now and made sure to royally fuck with our lives like a psychotic poltergeist. Sometimes I could hardly even remember that we’d loved him like a brother once.
"Tell me what happened with Maverick," Rogue demanded. “Tell me how the hell that even happened.”
The three of us shared an intense look and JJ took the lead to explain as Fox seemed ready to punch something at the mere mention of him. I had to share the sentiment. And for more reasons than one.
"Axel's body was with the police," JJ rasped. "They were looking for a culprit. So when Maverick took it upon himself to run away from home and try to go after you, Luther caught him and sent him to juvie for Axel’s death."
“He wanted to set him straight, stop him from going after you again,” Fox muttered.
Rogue stared at us in horror, her eyes wide and her lips parted. "He came after me?"
"Yeah," Fox snarled. "And risked your fucking life by doing so. My dad told us he'd kill you if we followed you, and he just- just-" Fox slammed his fist down on the table, making his drink spill everywhere but he clearly didn't give a shit. "He could have cost you your life because he was too selfish to just wait. Wait until we had a plan, had given some fucking thought to how we were going to reach you."
"But you didn't reach me!" she yelled, rising from her seat and her dog leapt up with a bark of fright. "You never came. At least Maverick tried."
"Don'
t stand up for that piece of shit," I snarled, getting to my feet too as anger coiled through me. "Your precious Maverick is a nutjob who’s killed our people, who's tried to kill us on multiple occasions."
"What?" Her brow creased as she tried to comprehend that and JJ nodded to drive the point home while Fox just sat there seething, his hands curled into tight fists on the table.
"We were there for him when he got out of prison," I clipped. "Waiting to take him home, to forgive him for fucking you over. He'd been through enough, we were well aware of that. He spent six years incarcerated between juvie and prison. So despite the fact that he ignored every single attempt at us contacting him during that time, we were still there waiting on the outside when he was released. And do you know what he did?"
Her throat bobbed as she shook her head and I walked around the table, gazing down my nose at her.
"Your Maverick spat at our feet and walked away. Then that very evening, he showed up at Harlequin House with a gun." I yanked on my wifebeater, pointing to the scar on my shoulder. "And took a few pot shots at us." I rounded the table to Fox, twisting his head to the side and making him growl in annoyance as I pointed out the scar running just below his ear. "And when we managed to run him out of here with a few wounds of his own, he soon made it clear he was never going to give up."
"He killed three of our men the next day," JJ chipped in grimly. "Strung them up on Gallows Bridge in what is now The Divide. Then he set up shop on Dead Man’s Isle, started up his own gang called The Damned Men and changed his fucking name too. He’s not even Maverick Harlequin anymore. He goes by Maverick Stone now. And the war began not long after that."
Rogue was shaking her head, backing away as she clawed her fingers through her hair. "This isn't right, none of this is right. There has to be more to it than that. Maverick wouldn't, he wouldn't-"
"He would, he did, and he still does," I snarled. "You'll figure it out soon enough if you stay in town." I started walking toward the house, figuring this conversation was more than done, but slowed as I passed her by, lowering my voice to talk just to her. "Which I suggest you don't do, ghost."
I continued towards the doors, but she apparently wasn't done with me yet.
"Why do you hate me, Chase?" she snapped. "What did I ever do to you? Because from where I'm standing, it makes no fucking sense."
I paused by the door, not looking back at her, my teeth grinding to pulp in my mouth. "Every bad thing that's ever happened to us, is because of you. You're a plague on our lives. And now you're back, I'm just waiting for the shit to start raining down on us again."
I walked away, done with her. Done with all of it.
Dragging up those memories had torn deeper wounds through my chest, new ones that were tainted by perspective. If I'd just dealt with it all differently, we all could have been saved a world of heartache and loss. Maybe it was selfish to blame her. Maybe I didn't have a right to. But I was going to anyway, because it was the only thing that made seeing her again bearable. And I’d done enough suffering over her to last a lifetime.
***
I waited for Fox and JJ to arrive, sitting in a stolen Honda Civic on the corner of Tide Street. The rest of our men were already closing in on The Divide where they’d be waiting on our signal to move in.
Maverick had taken the Sailor's Eye Lighthouse, but tonight we were going to take it back and fucking more. We couldn't let him push the boundaries of The Divide back any further. And it was time we stood on the front line and ensured our territory was immovable.
Fox opened the passenger door and dropped into the seat while JJ dove in the back. They were dressed in black, ready for war, guns strapped to their hips and no doubt more concealed weapons hidden across their bodies.
I started the engine, taking off down the road and driving towards The Divide. My heart beat a mile a minute, but it was with excitement as much as apprehension. Merkle had reported there were ten of The Damned Men in position at the Sailor’s Eye. And their gang name was more fitting tonight than ever. Because they were soon going to be painting our lighthouse red while we damned them right to hell.
"Did you tell Rodriguez to man the back door at the house?" Fox asked JJ, twisting in his seat to look at him.
"Yeah, man. Don’t worry, Rogue's not getting out tonight," JJ replied and I fought an eye roll. "But like...maybe she should be able to come and go as she pleases, because you can’t just keep the girl prisoner like you’re some caveman with a club."
"So you think I should just let her run off again?" Fox scoffed.
"Yeah," I said the same time JJ did, though there was a harder edge to my voice than his.
Fox stiffened in his seat and I received the brunt of his glare seeing as I was right beside him. "I'm not gonna let her go."
"I get it," I said and he frowned at me, clearly surprised those words had come from my mouth when I'd made it clear the stance I'd taken on this. I refused to meet his eye and could feel JJ's gaze on the back of my head as they waited for me to go on. "We all wanted her back. But you can't lock her up in the house. Frankly, I think we should drop her off in the next state and never speak of her again, but I'm aware you guys aren't going to go in for that, so at least let her make the goddamn choice to be here."
"But-" Fox growled, but JJ piped up in the back.
"She wants to be here, dude. She came back. You don't need to lock her up. But maybe she'll reconsider staying at all if you keep forcing her to do whatever you want."
"On second thought maybe she should stay at the house," I said with a smirk and Fox punched me in the arm.
"What's your problem with her?" Fox demanded of me and I locked my lips, shaking my head. "You were heartbroken when she left just like we all were, so what is this really about?"
I didn't answer and the silence pooling between us became insufferable. I didn't know why I couldn't voice what I'd seen the night before she'd left. We'd been such idiots, fawning all over her, begging to be chosen. Well fuck being chosen. Being chosen meant gutting everyone else in our group, and that's what she'd been planning to do. She'd been on a path to destroy us long before we'd banished her from Sunset Cove. And with a little time, that had become as clear as day to me.
"Chase," Fox snarled. "Speak your damn mind."
I gripped the steering wheel tighter. "I just don't wanna see you all getting hurt. That's all."
"That's clearly not all," JJ said, shoving me in the shoulder. "Come on, what is it dude?"
"I don't wanna make shit worse for you," I muttered.
"We don't keep secrets from each other," JJ said in outrage.
"I know…but I kept this one," I said, kinda ashamed of that fact. "I just didn't wanna hurt you both more than you were already hurting back then."
"What is it?" Fox pushed, giving off his king-of-the-world vibe.
I sighed, grappling with telling them this. But it had been a decade. Maybe it was time to set it loose into the world.
I snatched a cigarette from the packet sitting in the cup holder and lit it up, needing the nicotine to get through this. The weight of this truth had hung from my heart for ten years. I'd never breathed a word of it, hoping if I just ignored it, the pain would finally go away. But it never had. And maybe letting it out was the only way to really let it go at last. I just hated to think how it might hurt my friends, but maybe it would make them see that she had never been meant for us. That her being back here most likely had nothing to do with us three.
"She never wanted any of us," I expelled in a wave of smoke. "The night she killed that asshole Axel, I saw her. Before any of that happened. I saw her doing something…with someone.”
"If you don't spit it out right this second-" Fox growled and I spoke over him, just blurting it the hell out.
"She fucked Maverick. I saw them together. They were naked at Rosewood Manor in the summer house."
"What?" JJ gasped but Fox's stony silence was worse. I could hear my pulse in my ears and my cigarette wa
s getting a quick death as I toked it practically down to the butt.
"You saw them fucking?" Fox hissed.
"No, but...the way they were looking at each other, I could tell. They either had or they were about to. And I got the feeling it wasn't the first time." I shook my head, stealing a glance at Fox's expression and finding his eyes full of the endless kind of hurt I'd desperately wanted to save him from. It made my heart yank and I felt like a shitty friend for giving in and telling them.
"She chose him?" JJ asked in a tight voice.
"Yeah," I murmured, trying to swallow down the ball in my throat. "So, if she came back to town for any of us...I'm guessing it was him."
Quiet fell, but it was weighted with a thousand thoughts as Fox stared out the window like he was looking for his next murder victim.
JJ sighed at last. "Well it was ten years ago, bro, even if she did fuck him, it's not like she never cared for us."
Fox was descending into a dangerous silence that was making the hairs on my arms raise to attention. I was fully aware I'd just awoken the apex predator in him, but he'd pushed me and this was what he'd gotten for himself.
I switched off the headlights and rounded onto Cooper Street which would bring us up close to the lighthouse, driving alongside the far end of Sunset Beach which led into Maverick's new territory
"I'm sorry," I said heavily.
"You should've told us," Fox gritted out.
"I thought about it, but she was gone and it just seemed like the wrong thing to do. You guys were so...fucked up."
"So were you," JJ said gently. "You didn't have to carry that alone, Ace."
I shrugged one shoulder, glad to have least gotten it off my chest after all these years. And I hoped it would make them see things clearer at least. "So maybe we should send her off to the asshole she really wants."
"No," Fox snapped furiously, turning his murderous gaze on me. "She's not his," he growled like he was trying to make it so.
Sinners' Playground Page 24
