“Okay, Cliff. I’m tired, and like I said, it’s freezing out here. Stop being so cryptic and just say what you came to so I can go back to bed. I’ve got a big day ahead of me, and I’m not exactly a ball of sunshine when I don’t get a good night’s rest.”
Cliff’s eyes narrowed into small slits. “I heard. Starting a new job tomorrow, or I mean, today. Don’t you find that odd?”
“Eleanor said the rumor mill in this town was fast. She was way off. Apparently, news travels now at warp speed.” Cliff huffed, clearly irritated at my response, so I added, “Yes, I do find it odd, but how does any of this concern you? Why do you care?”
“Are you serious?”
“About what?”
“Look, Renee. I know I’ve been gone for a long time. Been back here less than a year and return to discover this town ain’t changed one bit. Ridgeport’s still run by the same pompous, self-centered blowhards who have their own agendas. I care because asking a cop to alter a report and remove a key component is wrong, not to mention illegal. You didn’t find some random stranger floating in the lake. You found the Mayor’s wife for God sakes! Every single T should be crossed and I dotted. Nothing left hidden or overlooked, especially now that it looks like Mrs. Cayhill was murdered and not a jumper. Something major is wrong when that doesn’t happen. Major.”
“Cliff, I didn’t ask for any of this! Jesus! I go out to the lake for some peace and quiet and find myself in the middle of a nightmare! Like I don’t already have a plateful of garbage in my life! Though I had nothing to do with the decision, I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it any more. The investigation—it’s not my problem. What I don’t get is why are you talking to me about it? If you’re so worried, shouldn’t you voice your thoughts to the Sheriff or something?”
Cliff set the coffee mug on the hood and moved closer. Worry had shifted over to fear. Seeing it on his face made me shudder. The Clifton Simpson I remembered from high school was a tough jock, not a worrier.
“I did talk to the Sheriff. He informed me if I wanted to keep my job I needed to look the other way and follow Detective Greenwood’s instructions.”
The answer ignited the sense of unease, turning it into a fire pit. My stomach burned. “Oh, brother.”
“Renee, please, listen to me. I can tell from your face and body language you agree with me. You know something is wrong. I know they offered you a job and probably the reward money, and somehow, I have a feeling that isn’t all they dangled to keep you silent. There’s a reason why, and I guarantee you, it isn’t a good one. I came by to apologize, but also to tell you I think you might be in danger.”
Pulling my robe tighter, I took a step back. “Danger? That’s…ridiculous, Cliff. I bumped up against a dead body. I didn’t see anyone out there, didn’t touch anything, didn’t do a damn thing except scream, so what part of that puts me in danger?”
“I don’t have an answer just yet, only a gut feeling. My instincts are never wrong, Renee. Never. Listening to them is what kept me alive for years in the military.”
I threw my hands up in defeat. “Okay, you win. I’m officially freaked out. Thanks, Cliff. Thanks for stopping by and ruining the beginning of what could have been a new, happy life for me. I should have known better. I don’t have that kind of luck!”
Cliff took my hands in his own and pulled me close. His warm breath grazed my cold cheek. “Don’t, Renee. I know you’ve been through hard times. I kept up with you while gone, and I’m so sorry for what you endured.”
Another light bulb went off. “You’ve been spying on me?” The look of shame on Cliff’s face answered my question. I backed up, yanking my hands from his grip. “No one called in a report about a woman alone at the lake, did they? You followed me out there!”
Closing the space between us, Cliff reached out and grabbed my hands again. “I did, but only because I’ve been trying to figure out a way to approach you. I wanted to reconnect again. I knew you moved in with Eleanor after losing your job. I saw you leave the house, so I followed, hoping I’d catch you out at the store or something. When I realized you were heading to the lake, I knew something was wrong. No one goes out there any more unless they’re ready to end it all. That’s what you'd planned to do, wasn’t it?”
A lump of angry tears formed in my throat. Rather than respond, I kept my thoughts to myself and stared at the ground. Humiliation and shame washed over me, along with a heavy dose of irritation my stupid, spur-of-the-moment thoughts about ending my life had been discovered by someone else.
Pulling me closer, Cliff whispered, “Thought so. Renee, you aren’t alone in this world. Many people would be devastated if you finished what you started out there. Me most of all.”
Finding the courage to look Cliff in the eyes, I raised my head, surprised to find a few tears trickling down his face. They made my own flow.
“I’m not an asshole who decided to come over here and dump more stress on your shoulders. I’m here because my instincts told me I needed to protect you. I care because, well, I always have. Ever since our first kiss.”
Cliff’s voice—the words spoken in soft, hushed tones—lulled me into a trance. I’d only kissed two men in my entire life: Cliff and Billy. Out of the duo, only bedded one. I had never experienced the rush of warmth and safety Cliff’s words had on me.
And I didn’t like it one bit.
“I don’t need protection—”
My plea was squashed by a set of full, warms lips. The kiss was gentle, soft, and yet full of hunger and passion. It took me back thirty-three years to the first time Cliff’s mouth descended on mine in high school. The physical connection with another person left me breathless and hungry for more. So of course, I pulled away.
“Like I said, I don’t need protection.”
Eyes full of unreadable emotions, Cliff touched his finger to my chin and tilted my head toward his. “Yes, Renee, you do. Not only from yourself, but others. I promise, I’ll stay a safe distance and keep an eye on you, like I’ve been doing since I came back. I’ll let you seek me out when you’re ready for all of me. Just know I’m here. Waiting.”
Before I could say another word, Cliff was inside his patrol car. He turned around in Eleanor’s driveway and drove away, leaving me standing at the edge of the road, stunned.
I trudged back inside, wondering if I was really awake or still dreaming.
At least if it was a dream, it was a sexy, suspenseful one.
“YOU SLEEP OKAY?”
Eleanor poured another cup of coffee and joined me at the kitchen table. I wondered if she heard me get up earlier. I didn’t want to start a new day on the wrong foot since our little emotional connection the night before, so I danced around the truth.
“Not really. Woke up from a nightmare about my dad. Went outside to get some fresh air to clear my head.”
“Bet it was awkward to be outside in your pajamas and a robe when Cliff Simpson drove up.”
God, the woman missed nothing! Did she ever sleep? I couldn’t wait to move back home so every move I made wasn’t witnessed by Eleanor’s all-seeing eyes.
“Not as awkward as this conversation, Eleanor,” I laughed. Deciding to broach the subject first, I added, “I assume you saw him kiss me, too?”
Expecting a snarky response, or at least a disapproving glance, Eleanor shocked me when she grinned.
“I did. That boy’s been sweet on you ever since high school. Sure took him long enough to come courting.”
Groaning on the inside, I wondered if Eleanor had seen our first kiss in the parking lot of the school as well. Since she had been a teacher at Ridgeport High, the probability was in her favor.
“High school crushes don’t last, Eleanor.”
The minute I said the words, I felt like an ass. A shadow of pain crossed Eleanor’s face. Though the comment had nothing to with Billy, I doubted she would believe me if I tried to clarify the statement.
“Some do. Why do you think he left Ridgeport a
fter he graduated? You weren’t on the market any longer.”
My mouth fell open. “That’s…no, that’s just silly. Cliff enlisted in the army and got away from this hellhole we call home. End of story. Had nothing to do with me.”
Eleanor stood and headed to the living room. Over her shoulder, she casually commented, “You’re a strong woman, Renee, but sometimes, blind as a newborn kitten. About a lot of things. Have a good first day at work. Keep your eyes on Mayor Cayhill. You still going in at ten?”
“Yes. He wanted to give me a chance to handle a few personal things before I started. You know, like taking the hush money to the mortgage company, paying my cell bill. Exciting stuff.”
Eleanor yelled from the living room, “Like I said, Renee, just watch yourself. Cliff and I can only do so much.”
Chuckling to myself, I finished the rest of my breakfast in silence, marveling at how life had changed in a matter of days.
“GOOD MORNING. I need to see the manager.”
The young woman behind the counter at First Arkansas Loan tried to look interested at the customer in front of her. It didn’t work. A hint of irritation floated behind her big eyes.
“He’s not available. May I help you with something?”
Glancing at my watch, I grimaced. It was fifteen after nine and I still had to stop by the cell store before heading to my new job. Figuring cash would interest lil Miss Fussy Pants, I pulled out the wad from my purse. I counted out six-thousand dollars and slid the crisp bills across the counter.
“You may. I need to apply this money to the mortgage you have on my house and get it out of foreclosure.”
“I’ll need to get the manager.”
I smiled, feeling a sense of triumph at knocking the smugness from the teller’s face. “Yes, I know. That’s why I asked for him to begin with.”
AT NINE-FIFTY, I pulled into the back parking lot of City Hall, foreclosure averted and cell phone functioning once again. Despite all the craziness of the last three days, the dire warnings from Eleanor and Cliff, and the constant pain in my back, I was happy.
Maybe happy wasn’t the best word. Relieved—yes, that was the one.
And nervous. I’d been out of work for almost nine months, and I had no idea what type of office work I’d be doing.
Shutting the car off, I stared at my outfit. Boring, black slacks and a button-up white shirt I’d bought at Walmart over three years ago. A weird sheen on the pants from where the material had thinned made me cringe.
“Okay, stop it. I can buy new clothes tomorrow. Maybe make an appointment and get my hair colored, too. City employees don’t work on Saturdays. Quit worrying about what others think! It’s not like people around here don’t already know I’m poor!”
Pulling my gaze away from my bland wardrobe, I scanned the parking lot. Only a few cars sat in designated spaces. Ridgeport City Hall loomed in front of me. It was an impressive structure even though it was the oldest building in the county. Though a smaller version, the design was meant to mimic the State Capitol in Little Rock.
Summoning up the courage to get out of the car, I grabbed my purse and trudged inside, wondering what sort of new, crazy adventure awaited me through the massive oak doors.
Hopefully, my first day at work would be boring as Hell. I certainly didn’t need any more excitement. I chuckled to myself, remembering how only three days ago, I sat at the edge of the lake and wanted some movie magic—some Hollywood sparkle—in my life.
“Better make sure to be careful what I wish for,” I muttered while opening the door.
“SO, HOW WAS IT?”
I stopped at the entrance to the kitchen and gawked at the table. Eleanor had outdone herself. She’d set out her fine china and silverware, along with a white linen tablecloth covering the ancient dining room table. In the middle of the display sat a fresh vase of flowers and two candles. Though the serving dishes were covered, judging by the smells wafting from the kitchen, she’d fixed something Italian.
Eleanor hadn’t fixed an Italian meal since Kyle passed away. Though she was an amazing cook, and her spaghetti with homemade marinara sauce legendary, she refused to make any sort of pasta dish. Knowing she fixed it for me—and how doing so probably brought back sad memories—made tears well up in my eyes.
“Boring compared to this surprise! Wow, Eleanor, I don’t know what to say. You certainly didn’t need to go to all this trouble for me.”
Motioning for me to sit, Eleanor moved to the other side of the table. “Hush, girl. Eat. The way I figured, your day would be horrible or exciting. A good, warm meal would make things either better if the day stunk, or a fantastic way to celebrate a good one. Besides, it’s probably the last time I’ll cook for two again anytime soon, since I assume you’ll be moving back home.”
Sitting down across from her, I smiled. “It smells heavenly and I know it’ll taste even better. Again, thank you.”
Eleanor took my plate and loaded it with enough spaghetti and garlic bread to feed three people. “Tell me about your day. Did Mayor Cayhill say anything to you?”
“Actually, I didn’t even see him today. I spent most of my time in the file room with Traci Rogers. She’s in charge of training me. Wow, the amount of paper filling those drawers could probably circle the globe twice. In this digital age, it seems like a waste of trees to me.”
“Traci Rogers? She any kin to Sylvia Rogers?” Eleanor asked while handing me the plate.
Taking a huge bite, I nodded. “Yes. Sylvia’s her aunt. You know, I haven’t seen Traci in years. She mentioned she moved back here last year from Russellville. Divorce.”
“Seems like no one stays in it for the long haul anymore.”
Unwilling to comment on the baited statement, I shoved another mouthful of pasta into my mouth.
“Did you get your mortgage all straightened out?”
“Yep. Oh, and my phone’s working again. God, I dread stepping foot inside my house. I can’t image how dirty it is. Probably has dust bunnies the size of small dogs. If you don’t mind, I planned on staying with you through the weekend. It’ll give me time to go over there and clean up before I grab what little I had left from your garage and settle back in. Is that okay?”
“Of course.”
“Oh, and I bought some hair color, too. Would you mind helping me cover this gray after we eat? I’ll probably need help with the back.”
“Sure, though I don’t understand why you don’t just go get it done at Myrna’s Salon. She’ll do a much better job.”
I sighed. “I’m trying to be frugal with the money, Eleanor. No telling how long I’ll have this job.”
Eleanor smiled. “Such a smart girl. Listen, I’m glad you’re waiting until next weekend to move back so I can help.”
“No need for you to do that, Eleanor. I can manage.”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t. I said I wanted to help and that I wouldn’t be available this weekend.”
Pausing in mid-chew, it dawned on me why she wouldn’t be around tomorrow.
Visiting day.
The last Saturday of each month, Eleanor made the fifty-mile trek down to the Varner Unit in Pine Bluff. She’d never asked me outright to accompany her, though she did hint from time to time how difficult the drive was at her age.
After a visit with her vile offspring, Eleanor wouldn’t answer the phone, talk, or even eat all day on Sunday. Instead, she’d shut herself in her bedroom until Monday morning. Before I’d moved in, I didn’t realize how hard the visits with Billy were on her. After experiencing her reaction in person last month, I knew.
They devastated her. Physically and emotionally drained her of all joy, happiness, and pep. When I watched her emerge from the bedroom last time, it seemed the woman aged five years.
Unsure what to say, I continued to eat. Thankfully, I was saved from having to come up with some type of stupid response when my phone rang. “Excuse me, Eleanor.”
Though my back throbbed from standing so
much earlier, I practically jumped out of the chair. By the fourth ring, I made it to the living room and snatched the phone from my purse.
The number was local but I didn’t recognize it. Considering the way things had gone in my life the last few days, it could be anyone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Renee. Did I interrupt your dinner? I can call back later if I did.”
“Cliff?”
“Yes, ma’am. You busy?”
Turning away so Eleanor couldn’t see me from the dining room, I moved to the window and lowered my voice. “Actually, I am in the middle of dinner with Eleanor.”
“Sorry. I only called to offer up my arms to assist you tomorrow. You know, with moving?”
“Good Lord!” I huffed, “How did you…oh, never mind. Small town equals fast news. I remember now. The gossip lines surpass a high-speed internet connection. I, uh, wasn’t planning on moving stuff just yet. It’s been two months since I’ve been there, so I was going to give it a good cleaning first.”
“Well that settles it. I’m a great housekeeper. Cleanliness is one of the many things burned into my brain from the army. What time shall I meet you?”
I hesitated answering. Part of me wanted Cliff to be there so I could pick his brain a little about the investigation. Another part wanted him there so maybe another sweet, stolen kiss would happen. Unfortunately, those two parts were trumped by the long-standing, Billy Runsford-inspired edict of remaining alone.
While standing in the living room of the house the man used to live in, his mother sitting in the next room, a wave of anger hit me. The anger wasn’t at Eleanor, or even at Billy.
It was all directed internally.
There, I’d said his name again without having an anxiety attack.
Something stopped me from killing myself, and it wasn’t just Martha Cayhill’s bloated corpse. Would I have actually gone through with it? After all, I’d stopped at three pills. Another something pushed me to stand up to Gretchen rather than slink away like a coward. Yet another something gave me the confidence to get out of bed and start a new job, all the while knowing something about the entire offer stunk to high Heaven.
Suicide Lake Page 6
