Rosewen didn’t answer for a moment. “Could be. He’s certainly strong enough to. But why would he meddle in Unseelie affairs?”
“Well, if by meddling you mean helping keep me alive, I’m all for it.”
Rosewen turned to her. “Not tonight, but probably tomorrow, I need to leave for a few days. I need to find him.” She took a deep breath. “When I return, I’ll start showing you how to use your magic.” She tilted her head. “I don’t suppose I can convince you to return home, can I?”
Eve smiled. “I can’t yet, mom. I trust the men I live with. And they want me here. For some strange reason, we all kinda like each other.”
Rosewen studied her face for a moment before smiling softly. “Well, I guess that’s only fair. They’ve been more honest with you than I have.”
“I’m not going to lie, mom. This is all a huge shock. But I can understand it. Sorta.” Eve stood and walked up to her mother, arms outstretched. Rosewen moved into them and hugged her daughter close to her. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Rosewen took a deep breath.
“So, about that mark…” Eve said with a shaky laugh.
“Do you really want it gone?” Rosewen pulled back with a knowing smile and Eve blushed.
“I did then I didn’t, but now, I think it’s best. Something happened last night that made Sebastian insist on getting rid of it, and after thinking about it, I think I agree.” She glanced down at her hand. “I’ll miss it though.”
“What happened, baby?”
“He cut his finger picking up glass. I bled. The mark works both ways.”
Rosewen sucked in a breath. “You bled around them? And they didn’t attack you?”
Eve didn’t think her mom’s brows could get higher.
“Well, no, they didn’t. Even Alex, the newest one. The one that still has to breathe. He didn’t hurt me.”
“What about Sebastian?”
Eve remembered the way his shoulders moved, knew he was smelling her blood, and there at the end, blood and fear. “He could smell it, but he made Fallon go and get Gideon. Warned them to hold their breath. Even then, he looked out for me.”
“He did that. I’ll be damned.”
Eve watched her mother’s expressions change from one of horror, to confusion, to acceptance.
“I guess things really do change. But I see why he would want to get rid of the mark. No sense tempting fate.” She met Eve’s eyes. “When we see him again, I’ll do it. It doesn’t take long, but he’s got about six hours left. How did you do it anyway?”
“Gideon thinks it’s done as a result of me…panicking…” She hated using that word but was the only one fitting. “When I marked Sebastian, he and Alex had just gotten me breathing.” Her mom turned even more pale than the almost white of her skin. “It’s okay, mom.”
Rosewen nodded.
“When I did it to Micah, they had just told me what they were.” She laughed. “Gideon was trying to tell me I was still in danger from someone, but I wasn’t sticking around to listen. Micah grabbed my hand, trying to make me stay and…” She shrugged.
“Am I removing that mark as well?”
#
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Micah said from behind her. Eve turned into his open arms and held him tight.
“Are you sure?” she asked, looking up into his eyes.
“Absolutely. I like being able to help you.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, and she sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her head against his chest.
“Okay. This one stays,” Eve murmured. Her pillow rumbled with laughter. “Is Sebastian…” She could ask this. She could. Damn it. “Is Sebastian having dinner?”
Micah laughed again. “He should be back soon,” he said, dodging her question. “But, speaking of dinner, in here or the dining room? I was sent to ask.”
“In here is fine.” She twisted to look back at her mom. The soft expression on her face touched her. “Is that okay with you?”
Rosewen blinked before nodding. “It’s fine.”
Micah took Eve’s hand, leading her to a chair. Holding out his hand, telling her to sit down, she shook her head. “I want to sit with you.” With a grin, Micah sat, pulling her down onto his lap.
Rosewen sat across from them and smiled at her. “You truly are my daughter.”
“Of course I am.” Eve leaned into Micah’s warmth.
“You don’t understand.” Rosewen shook her head. “And how could you with what I did? Your heritage. The Fae are sensual creatures and tend to find beauty and attraction in many beings. It’s difficult for them to have only one partner. Difficult, if not impossible. Monogamy is not a with which we are familiar.”
“Well, that explains a lot.” Eve laughed. “I’m not losing my mind.”
“Stop beating yourself up.” His words were low in her ear as his arms wrapped tighter around her.
“Easy for you to say. That may be me, but it wasn’t the way I was brought up.”
“And that’s my fault,” Rosewen said. “Given the chance, I would still bind you, but I wouldn’t have kept your history from you. I wouldn’t have tried to raise you human. To bury what makes you part of me. Part of my world. I hope one day you can forgive me for that.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, mom. You were doing the best you could in a shitty situation.” She leaned her had back against Micah’s chest. “I mean, I won’t pretend that this hasn’t been the strangest time of my life, because it has, but if nothing else comes from it, you have made things clearer. Made certain… feelings… make more sense.”
Micah took Eve’s hand, holding it softly.
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
Eve looked at her free hand, the one that bore Sebastian's invisible mark. “Is it going to hurt when you break this?”
“I don’t know, sweetie.” Rosewen leaned forward. “That’s an incredibly difficult question to answer. Those marks are usually something that one does with a loved one. It’s a choice they as partners make. Those bonds, if severed, could cause a lot of pain, but it’s mostly mental. The loss of part of oneself. It’s not really a physical pain.” She dropped her eyes to Eve’s hand. “It’s tremendously rare from someone to bond someone unwilling. In fact, I think I have only heard of it once, and I thought it a rumor.” Rosewen looked back up. “I don’t think it will hurt you emotionally, as there was no connection when you did it. But I can’t tell you about physically.”
Eve was silent at that. Sure, there wasn’t a connection when she did it, but there was one now. At least on her part. While she didn’t love Sebastian, she came damn close. Too close. What was it going to be like? Not having to worry about him, his vulnerability because of her?
No reason to fall asleep in someone’s arms every night…
Bah, not going there. Nope.
The man himself walked in, giving her a soft smile.
Her mother stiffened but said nothing. Could her gentle one have caused so much pain? He moved to the chair by her side.
“Are you sure about this?” Eve asked softly.
He took her hand and flipped it over, tracing the invisible mark. “No, not at all,” he said, his honesty taking her by surprise. “There is a war going on inside me.” His eyes met hers. “Keeping the mark protects you from everything outside these walls but puts you in danger inside.”
Duglas walked in, pushing the familiar trolley. He sent a quick glance to Eve and she remembered her mother’s head in his arms. His first priority being Sebastian. She couldn’t fault the kitsune for that, but it would be a long time before she would get used to him again. If ever.
He stood and silently left the room and Eve’s eyes flew to her mother. He almost killed her. She was surprised to find a smile on her face. “He was protecting you all. I can’t fault him for that.” Rosewen glanced at Eve. “And I wouldn’t have died, sweetie. But I’ll go more into that after I find Naiel. Back to this matter.”
&n
bsp; Eve gave a small laugh, trying to keep the sadness from it. By the look on Sebastian’s face, she failed.
“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” he said, softly stroking the skin on her cheek.
Wordlessly, she nodded.
Rosewen stood and moved closer to them. She sat on the low table and took Eve’s hand in one of hers. She hesitated before taking Sebastian’s.
“For what it’s worth, I’m not that thing anymore. I can’t remember what I did to your people, but I can promise that I’m different. Your daughter is not in any danger from me, from us.”
Eve held her breath as Rosewen studied Sebastian’s eyes, searching the truth of his words. Finally, her shoulders relaxed, and she gave a quick nod before taking his outstretched hand.
She watched as the runes appeared when her mom started speaking in a language that she had only heard once before. Not only did they appear, they blazed to life and Eve swallowed a gasp at the heat that flared. Sebastian looked up at her with concern in his eyes. Her smile was tight as the heat grew, spreading up her arm. He frowned before looking back down. His free hand pushed the arm of her sweater up and she found dazzling lines of silvery blue running up the exposed skin. The invisible flames crept along those lines, growing stronger with each inch gained.
In her heart, in her mind, she cried silent tears at the feeling of separation. It wasn’t until then that she realized that despite his anger, from the first time they spoke, she felt connected to him. Like there was a tiny piece of him that lived inside her. That part was dying now, being consumed in the fire that licked her skin.
She didn’t want this.
“Eve?”
She could barely hear Sebastian over the cries in her mind. She closed her eyes, shaking her head. “Just finish it,” she muttered, trying to hide the pain in her voice. The heat reached a new level as it pooled in her chest. Her mother’s words remained soft as she burnt Eve to a crisp. One last wave of fire and it stopped.
Micah’s hand ran through her hair, comfort in the simple touch. The room was quiet, and Eve opened her eyes, blinking back tears. There was no reason to cry. Sebastian was safe. So was she. To a degree. But there was a hole inside her now. One that she knew she would never be able to fill.
“Are you okay?” The concern in Sebastian’s voice almost broke her false calm.
“Yeah.” She breathed out the word. “Just peachy. How about you?” She focused on his eyes instead of the emptiness that threatened to swallow her.
“I think I may have made the biggest mistake in my existence.” His lips did the twisting thing she recognized as a bitter smile.
She couldn’t keep back the harsh laugh. “Spilled milk and all that,” she said before rising from Micah’s lap. “If you all will excuse me…” She didn’t know what to say, how to explain that she wanted to be alone while she tried to figure out how to sooth her raw edges.
Before she could add anything, Sebastian was standing in front of her.
“Don’t do this, please. Don’t run off now.” His hands took her arms and pulled her to him. “Don’t think you are the only one affected.” His voice was as harsh as her emotions.
Eve couldn’t say anything. She shook her head before pulling away from him. She couldn’t be near anyone at that moment. “Just a little while. Then I’ll be fine.” Her best smile felt fake to her but there was nothing she could do about it. Turning away from him, she left the room.
CHAPTER TEN
The feel of something brushing her face snapped her out of her thoughts. Looking around, she discovered that she’d left the safety of the house walls. She moved further out into the swirling snow, letting the chill in the air combat the imagined flames still licking her skin. Her hands left deep impressions in the built-up snow on the stone railing, knuckles almost as white from her grip on the cold rock.
If she felt this horrible now, she could only imagine what it would have been like if she actually loved him. She stared out into the falling snow, trying to convince herself that it could be worse, but she knew better. It couldn’t have been.
A familiar voice came from behind her. “You’re still here?”
This time she couldn’t feel his anger. Not over her own feeling of desolation.
“Yes, Fallon. I’m still here. Had to get rid of the mark, remember?”
“How did that go?”
She shrugged. “It’s gone.”
“Why does it sound like you’re upset about it?”
“I don’t know,” she lied. Upset was such a mild word to describe the damage that was done.
“What did I tell you, Eve?”
“I really don’t give a shit, Fallon. I didn’t ask you to come out here and harass me. Somethings I need to deal with on my own and this is one of them.”
“So, by dealing with them, you mean hide out here in the cold?”
“Jesus, what’s with the fifty questions tonight?” She spun around to face him. “Who cares why I’m out here. They can kill me now. I’m no longer a threat to anyone”
“You couldn’t be more wrong about that. Maybe not to Sebastian physically, but I’ll never let my guard down around you.” He was slouched in one of the iron chairs, seeming to not give a damn about the snow or cold.
“What does that mean?” She pushed away from the railing and dusted off the opposite chair. She mimicked Fallon’s slouch. “How am I a threat to you? To any of you? Sure, I may, one day in the future, be able to defend myself against one of you, but right now, especially now, I’m really fucking weak.”
He said nothing as he looked at her. At that moment, she would have given anything to be able to see his eyes.
“How old are you?” he finally asked.
“What does that have to do with anything?” she asked, confused by the sudden change in topic.
“Just answer the question.”
“If I do, will you go away?”
“No.”
She could see his lips curve into a smile and blew out a frustrated breath. “Fine. I’m twenty-seven.”
He made a noise, but she wasn’t sure if it was amusement or anger. “And you don’t know how you are a threat to those of us here. Were you sheltered as a child?”
“Fallon, what in the hell are you talking about?” Her head fell back against the cold iron. She was too mentally drained for the mind games he seemed to want to play.
“When I was your age, I was married with two children. Though, I have to admit to that being some time ago.” His words were nonchalant, but she could feel something from him, cutting through her own emotional black hole. The spike in sadness stole her breath and she had to fight herself to not go to him.
“We went on a trip and back in the day, there were no RV’s, no campers. Ahh, the frontier days. Good times, those. If the settlers didn’t get you, then sickness would. Famine, all sorts of fun things. But that wasn’t what got me. Those would have been kinder.” The smile on his lips became something ugly. “What my tribe told me about, warned me about, I never believed. That there were things that looked like wolves except they walked on two legs. And their strength… Twenty men couldn’t have torn through my family as fast as it did.”
He trailed off and Eve felt sick to her stomach. Despite her order to herself to keep her distance, she found herself kneeling in the snow at his feet. He didn’t seem to notice when she took his hand.
“It attacked me first. It seemed to know I was the strongest one there. Claws and fangs tore into my body. I don’t know if it thought I was dead when it moved onto my son, or it simply knew I couldn’t do anything. I tried to kill it. While my son screamed in agony, I tried to shoot it. When it moved onto my wife, I hit it. I could see the blood, even as my sight went dim. It didn’t faze it. My daughter’s pleading voice, before it became this… sound… that, until a little while ago, I could still hear. But it’s gone now.” He looked down at her upturned face. “Do you know what that does to me?” he asked.
“Of course I don’t
,” Eve whispered, pushing through the overwhelming despair radiating from him.
“I’m drowning in guilt. Because of you.” He leaned forward and this time, she could feel the hostility re-emerge from where it had been hiding. “I go to sleep with the rising of the sun, and I can’t hear them. I know it’s fucked up, but their screams were all I had left. You took that away.” His hands shot out, gripping her arms. “You are the biggest threat I have ever had the misfortune to meet.” He growled before crushing his mouth against hers.
She wanted so bad to open her lips, to let him in, but she couldn’t. Not with his story still echoing through her already devastated mind. She twisted her head, trying to get away, a broken cry coming from her bruised and beaten heart.
“I can’t…” She tried to find words to explain why she couldn’t respond to him, willing him to understand her.
“Ah, I see, princess,” he said, pushing her away.
She fell on her bottom before jumping to her feet. “No, you don’t. You don’t see anything. You don’t have a clue what is going on inside me. I’m raw and you swim in pain. I want you, but I can’t help—” She broke off, holding back a sob. She couldn’t help him. She couldn’t help herself. It was all too much. Everything.
She needed it to be nothing.
Eve turned and ran from him, from his agony, his grief, his hatred that pushed against her torn soul. Fled from her desire for him. Down the stairs and into the woods. Somewhere between the last step and the first tree, her power flared, and she flew as fast as an arrow released from its bow. She barely heard Fallon shout her name and then she was alone, racing through the woods.
Things appeared different, branches that longed to gouge her eyes were easy to dodge, roots that wanted to take her feet were mere steppingstones in her mad flight.
Once again, she heard her name, behind her and to her right. She tried to go faster, but something hit her, sending her tumbling into a clearing. Jumping up, her ankle was caught by steel fingers.
“Stop.” That sinful voice spoke to her. The one she tortured.
Bound by Destiny Page 20
