“Some of it, but I still don’t know what’s going on.”
Winston started making coffee while Terrance leaned back against the counter, watching him, then Chloe, then Maya.
“Just know that I’m gonna be scarred for life.” She turned her back on everyone. “Listen, I have to go, but…” Maya hesitated but the words came anyway. “What are you doing tonight? I might need to cleanse my palate.”
T snorted.
“Nothing. What are you up for?” She sounded excited.
“I don’t know. I’ll leave it up to you.”
“Okay. I’ll text you later with details.”
“Good. Talk to you soon.” She hung up, wondering what the hell made her do something so impulsive. She put her phone into the pocket of her khakis and turned around. Winston was busy pulling coffee mugs out of the cabinet and T was now sitting at the table, playing on his phone. Chloe was standing near Winston.
“We certainly won’t be forgetting this day, will we?” Chloe grinned at her and the amusement dancing in her eyes was contagious.
Maya relaxed. “No, as much as I would dearly love to,” she said, chuckling. “And I’d shake your hand but…”
Chloe laughed. “That’s probably moot at this point, since your brother has had his fingers all over those mugs.”
“Oh, God.”
Chloe laughed harder and Maya decided she kind of liked her. She looked over at Winston and he was staring at Chloe, expression still embarrassed but also full of warmth. Wow. It was good to know that he wasn’t a robot after all.
Now she desperately needed coffee. The stronger, the better. And then she’d think about whether it really was a good idea to spend time with Nina.
**
Nina walked slowly toward the school’s entrance. Despite being a few minutes late, she wasn’t in a rush. School buses had yet to arrive and no other students were allowed in the building until 7:25 a.m. to avoid supervision issues. Her gaze was locked on her phone in an attempt to find a venue or at least something interesting to do on a Thursday night. So far, she had struck out. There were no concerts, comedy shows, or anything else going on tonight.
She and Maya could do dinner or drinks any time, and she had wanted tonight to stand out, but so far, she’d found absolutely nothing to fit that criteria. There had to be something. She knew she was making a bigger deal out of this than she needed to, but for some reason, it felt important that she find something, and it had to be perfect. Which would keep her from being a disappointment. She didn’t want to be that. Not to Maya. Not anymore, even with something as small as this.
She stopped at the side door and patted herself down in search of her keys. She laughed when she realized they were already in her hand. Then, it hit her.
Drag shows. There had to be one going on somewhere. She smiled and let herself into the school. Instead of heading toward the main teacher’s lounge, she went to her own classroom, doing a web search on her phone as she walked. Finally, she found one, at a new club called Yours, Mine and Ours, or YMO for short. The place looked like a dive, but that was a good thing in this instance because then there would be more opportunities to interact directly with performers. It started at nine o’clock. “Yes,” she said as she continued scrolling. After seeing the pictures of the participants, Nina whooped out loud.
Someone touched her elbow and she nearly jumped out of her skin. She spun around, immediately irritated about being interrupted. Drew stared back at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
“What?” she asked.
“I was about to ask you the same thing. I saw you come down this way.”
She shrugged. “I was doing some research and I didn’t want to be disturbed.”
“Disturbed? By me? And research for what?”
Did she mean him? He was the only one at school who consistently interacted with her. She wasn’t trying to avoid him. Was she? Okay, who was she kidding? She totally was. “By anybody,” she hedged. “And I was trying to find somewhere to take Maya tonight.”
“It can’t be tonight. We have plans.”
Nina paused. She didn’t remember any plans and she would have them in her calendar if there were. “No, we don’t.”
“We do. I just made them.”
“You did what? Without asking me first?” Her voice rose.
“Shh. You don’t have to yell about it.” He glanced around but nobody was in sight. “We can talk about it in your room.”
She glared at him. She hadn’t yelled, but she was about to, so going into her classroom was probably a good idea. She unlocked the door. They were only a few steps inside when Drew spoke again.
“Just hang out with her tomorrow. What’s the big deal?”
Big deal? It was a huge deal. “Because it’s Maya. I want things to work out between us. She was the one who suggested we go out tonight. I can’t take it back.”
“Well, if she’s a real friend, she’ll understand.” Nina’s face flooded with heat. “I—”
“It’s dinner with the principal and his wife, which is way more important. I’ve been trying to reach that man for years and this might help. I have a lot of ideas for this school, and I just need someone with pull to listen.” He smiled and his eyes were wide with excitement.
She stared at him, a strange emptiness filling her chest. In a couple of weeks, he was going to be her husband. The look on his face should have been enough to sway her and this seemed important to him. Nina felt herself caving in to him, as she always did.
“Trying to fix things with Maya doesn’t make any sense right now,” he continued. “We need to concentrate on our future.” He squeezed her shoulders, a familiar gesture but right now, it felt wrong.
His words flew all over her. They were like flies buzzing around her head, and all Nina wanted to do was swat at them. Did what she want matter at all? Sure, relationships required sacrifice. But where was compromise? Why did she always have to do what he wanted? She stepped back and Drew’s hands fell to his sides. “Well, if he wants that kind of relationship with you, he’ll understand.” The refusal was foreign in her mouth, but she had no intention of taking it back.
His eyes narrowed. “What is this? What’s going on with you?”
She shrugged.
“You’ve never talked to me that way. I don’t like this.” He crossed his arms and frowned. “I knew Rachel was a bad influence on you.”
She gave him a withering stare. “You can go have dinner with the principal alone. You’re a grown man, after all.” She sat on the edge of her desk, heart pounding from both elation and trepidation at speaking her mind. She regarded him, seeing him through different eyes. Maybe he was doing the same with her. “I’m not cancelling on Maya,” she said, saying the words clearly and slowly.
Drew’s face darkened. He pressed his lips together in a thin, hard line. “I don’t like this,” he repeated.
“Good morning, Ms. Sterling,” Allie said as she entered, interrupting.
“Morning, Allie.” She forced a smile to her lips and looked back at Drew while Allie went to her desk.
His expression was a mixture of confusion and anger. “We’ll talk later,” he said, brusque.
“Yes. But not at school.”
He held her gaze for a moment longer before tilting his head in agreement. Then, he left and Nina got up to start organizing for the day. She expected guilt, shame, and maybe even fear over this argument, but all she felt was less burdened, and it was so much different than even the week before.
“Look at the picture I drew,” Allie said, holding up a piece of paper with what looked like a beach she had drawn with colored pencils.
“Oh, my,” Nina said. “Is that a beach where you and your family go?”
“Yes. We’ll be going next month, too.”
“Excellent.”
A few other students came in and Nina greeted them, feeling even more unburdened with each passing minute. Even thinking about a conversation
with Drew later didn’t dampen her mood. She’d asserted herself for the best reason possible. For Maya.
**
Nina rated the Uber driver for the entertaining distraction he provided with all kinds of wild stories about people he had driven around. She had no idea people were that weird in Asheville. After thanking him, she got out of the car and surveyed the parking lot at YMO, which wasn’t full, but there were more cars than she thought there would be at eight o’clock, relatively early for a bar.
She went to the entrance, the thump of music emanating from the building, something with plenty of drums and bass. She checked her phone again. No texts from Maya and none from Drew, which was strange for him, since he tended to bombard her with messages if she strayed from his expected path. She assumed he’d gone to his dinner, and she did her best to push the whole ordeal out of her mind because Maya deserved her full attention. Despite what happened between her and Drew, they’d probably be fine. Just pre-wedding stress and there was no reason to dwell on it. She would make some other concession to him to make up for this, though thinking about it left a sour taste on the back of her tongue.
Again, she looked at her phone. It was only a couple minutes after eight, but anticipation was starting to get the best of her. She was giddy, like someone had injected her with adrenaline, and her palms were sweaty. She rubbed her hands on the front of her jeans, wondering why her heart seemed be pounding. A couple of more cars pulled in and then one stopped right in front of her. Seconds later, Maya emerged from the back seat. She was dressed in skinny jeans and a crisp white button-down shirt.
Maya smiled, though her expression was cautious. They stood face to face and Nina had no idea what to do with her hands. A few people walked around them into the club, but they didn’t move. Nina wanted to hug her and, as if her body had a mind of its own, she reached out. Their heads nearly bumped as they both leaned in. The second attempt wasn’t much better, the embrace perfunctory but warm. It wasn’t enough.
Maya pulled away. “I didn’t even know this place existed.”
“It’s only been around for a month or so.” She fidgeted. “Should we go in?”
“Yeah. I could use a drink before the show starts.”
Nina nodded and opened the door and almost froze because Maya’s hand rested for a moment at the small of her back, resulting in a warm tingly feeling. She willed it to spread farther, but Maya’s hand was no longer there and she missed it.
She glanced around once inside, surprised that the place was smaller than she’d thought. The bar was lined with stools, all of them taken. The rest of the space was nearly swallowed by a large pool table and a small dance floor. Several chairs were pushed against the walls for additional seating and the walls were littered with pictures and posters of Madonna, Cher, Britney Spears, Whitney Houston, Dolly Parton, and several others. The music blared even louder, but no one was dancing.
For some reason, Nina found it charming. She glanced at Maya. “What do you think?”
“What?”
Nina eased closer. “What do you think?”
Maya grinned and that was all the approval she needed. She continued to look around, thinking that there had to be another section. The number of people around them didn’t add up to the cars outside. Something caught Nina’s gaze. A customer stumbled down a set of stairs on the other side of the bar. Nina pointed and waved at Maya to follow. By the time they got to the top of the stairwell, the music was more subdued. She heard voices and followed them. Sure enough, they entered a larger area lined with tables, and in the middle of the room, a stage that looked more like a runway without the elevation. She saw an empty table near the front and headed straight for it.
They sat down on opposite sides and Maya leaned back in her chair. “You really took what I said to heart, huh?”
“Well, you put me in charge. What did you expect? Chili’s?”
She laughed, and just like that, any residual awkwardness dissipated. “Shit, there’s no bar up here. I’ll go back down and get drinks. What do you want?”
“I don’t know. Surprise me. Anything except—”
“Tequila,” Maya said. “Yeah, I know. Be right back.”
Nina’s pocket vibrated. She checked her phone to find a text from Drew.
You’re not home.
She rolled her eyes. Won’t be for a while. Don’t wait up. And then she turned her phone off.
A few minutes later, Maya returned with drinks. Nina picked up the clear plastic cup and stared at it. “What’s this?”
“Amaretto sour.”
She smiled. “I wonder if I’m the only person who’s ever gotten drunk off this.”
“Doubt that, but you are the only person I’ve met that can drink more than a couple of those things.” Maya raised her own cup and took a healthy swig.
“What did you get?”
Maya stared at her like she’d grown another head.
Nina chuckled. “Rum and Coke, then.” She took a sip.
Not bad for a dive-bar drink. “So, are you going to tell me what happened at your house?”
“God, you’re going to need something a little stronger first. I know I will.”
“That bad?”
“The whole thing is burned into my brain. I hope I don’t dream about it.”
“Okay, now you have to tell me.”
Maya gave her a long look. “You sure? If you see him again anytime soon, you won’t be able to look him in the eye.”
“Who?”
“Winston.”
Nina put her elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Spill.”
A couple minutes passed as Maya shared the sordid details.
“Oh, God,” Nina said when Maya had finished.
“I know, right? It’s the equivalent of you walking in on your mother—”
“Ugh. Stop!” Nina downed the rest of her drink, trying to wash away the image that the story had put in her brain.
“I know. I mean, I eat on that counter—um. That didn’t sound right.” She made a face like she’d taken a bite of something rancid, and Nina laughed.
Maya did, too, but stopped and stared at her, a smile on her lips and something intense in her eyes, like she’d seen something of great interest and couldn’t look away.
Her. Maya was looking at her that way, and heat swept over her and again, her heartbeat seemed to speed up. She couldn’t remember anyone ever looking at her like that, except Maya, the night they had spent together. Nina stared down at her cup. The only thing left was ice, but that would have to do. She filled her mouth with the remaining cubes and crunched away. When Nina glanced up again, the look in Maya’s eyes was gone. In fact, she would barely look at her at all.
“Sorry,” Maya mumbled. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Maybe I should go.” She started to stand.
No, the night wasn’t going to end like this. Nina covered Maya’s hand with her own. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”
Maya met her gaze then, and Nina didn’t dare break away.
Slowly, Maya sat back down. She looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t and Nina wondered what it was, but she didn’t want to push. “You want another drink? I’ll get ’em this time.”
“Make sure it’s—”
“Bacardi. I know.” She went down to the bar, trying not to think about the feelings that stirred within her. When she got back, Maya seemed calmer because the conversation was easy again and almost an hour and three drinks later, something was finally happening at the stage. The main overhead lights had been dimmed but the lights that lined it still shined brightly. Nina switched to the chair next to Maya, ostensibly to face the stage rather than to peer over her shoulder at it. Their arms brushed and Maya glanced at her but didn’t say anything.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to get things started,” a man announced over the loudspeaker.
A few people clapped.
“C’mon you can do better than that.”
More noise followed and Nina joined in, caught up in the moment.
“That’s more like it. Let’s start things off with a bang. Even God is about to be entertained. Give it up for Charmaine Sparkles!”
The crowd roared and music filled the room. The curtain parted and a drag queen dressed as a nun stepped out. Lights converged on her as she began lip-syncing to Ariana Grande’s “Dangerous Woman.”
People waved dollar bills in the air, and with exaggerated movements in sync with the music, Charmaine made her rounds. A man and then a woman got up and danced with her, one of them grinding on Charmaine from behind. Someone threw something and Charmaine snatched it out of the air. She twirled it around before singing into it like a microphone, the crowd whooping and laughing.
The object was a rather large, black, double-sided dong, and Nina stared at it while Maya stood up and whistled loudly as she flashed a five-dollar bill. Charmaine made a few more stops in the audience, trailing the dong over people’s foreheads and rubbing it against the sides of their necks as if she was blessing them.
Nina covered her mouth with her hand. Her mother would have fainted if she’d been here. The thought made her jump up and cheer with even more enthusiasm. Seconds later, Maya shoved the money into Nina’s hands and pointed at her.
Charmaine gyrated toward her and Nina howled with laughter. As Charmaine caressed Nina’s cheek with the dong, Nina prayed to God that the toy was brand new. She put the five-dollar bill next to the other money tucked into the rope tied around Charmaine’s waist. Maya was still smiling as she swayed to the music and before she knew it, Nina was dancing with Charmaine, too.
Several performances and a few more drinks later, Nina stumbled down the stairs.
“I’ve gotcha.” Maya hooked her arm through Nina’s.
“Okay, but who’s got you? Everything is spinning. You need to hold on to s-something.” Nina placed her other hand against the wall for guidance.
“You never could hold your liquor,” Maya said with a chuckle.
“Shud up.”
Maya snorted and Nina stepped into the main bar and wanted to kiss the floor in relief. No more stairs. Unfortunately, the room was still moving. She tried to bend over, thinking she should crawl.
Big Girl Pill Page 11
