Nina glanced over her shoulder, but Rachel had hunkered down in bed.
Almost an hour later, she walked into the teachers’ lounge. Intent on avoiding conversation with her fellow teachers, she stared at her phone as she made her way toward the refrigerator. To her delight, a text appeared from Maya.
Tay inna wind.
She grinned and everything else around her fell away. Good morning chickapea. She typed out the text and opened the refrigerator.
Well that was a half-assed attempt at Nell-speak. I’m kinda disappointed.
You’ll get over it, Nina shot back, still grinning like an idiot.
Maybe. I kno u have school tomorrow but u busy 2nite?
I was planning to at least try to talk to Drew this afternoon. She didn’t want to drag this on any longer than necessary.
Damn. U gonna do it?
Call the wedding off? She hesitated, then typed the word Yes.
Maya didn’t respond for a while, but she was working up some kind of reply, given the floating ellipses on her screen. Finally, a message came through. Whoa. R U ok? I’m glad u have Rachel at home 4 u.
I want u around 2. Nina’s thumbs paused over the keyboard. She meant it in so many ways. She added, Can I call after? Maybe we can meet 4 drinks. She had every intention of ending the night on a positive note or attempting to do so.
U can call me rite now if u need 2.
Ok. Nina walked back out into the hallway several feet from the lounge and did just that.
“I’m going to assume that you’re sure about Drew,” Maya said instead of offering another greeting.
“I’m not a hundred percent on a lot of things right now, but he’s one that I am sure about.” Nina deliberately lowered her voice even though the hallway was all but abandoned. Most of the classrooms near the lounge were still dark. She was alone for the time being but that could change at any minute.
“You don’t sound sad or upset.”
“That’s because I’m not.”
For several long seconds, Maya didn’t say a word. “I don’t know what to say to that.”
Nina had a feeling that she needed to choose her words carefully. “I care about him, but I—”
“Don’t love him,” Maya finished for her.
“Right,” Nina whispered and then nodded at a teacher who walked past her.
“I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised by that. He was sort of the path of least resistance.”
“Yes, with just about everyone,” Nina said.
“Not with me.”
Nina wasn’t sure how to respond, so she didn’t.
“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” Maya said softly.
“You’re entitled to your feelings.”
“Yeah, but like I said, I’ve been trying really hard to be mature and keep things between us from getting weird.”
Could she do the same? “I know and thank you.” She meant that wholeheartedly. Maybe Maya’s efforts to keep her own feelings and attraction at bay made it safe for Nina to come to her own realizations.
“Your mother is gonna swallow her tongue when she finds out.”
She wanted to thank Maya again for sort of changing the subject. “I know.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“Ignore her as much as I can until I’m ready to deal with her.”
“Well, she does know where you live.”
“That’s true. I guess I’ll have to spend more time with you.”
“Tragic.” Maya’s sarcasm was obvious, as was the smile in her voice, which both warmed and amused her.
“I could also leave Rachel at my place while I’m visiting as the first line of defense.”
Maya snorted. “I’m sure she’d do anything if we give her enough garlic knots.”
She laughed out loud. “I’m gonna tell her you said that.”
“Go ahead. She doesn’t scare me.”
“I can tell, but I had to try.” She walked farther down the hall and into her classroom. She didn’t want to run into Drew. It was a little disturbing the way he tried to act like nothing had happened between them, especially in front of everybody else. He’d never been overly affectionate at work, but he’d continued to talk and smile at her as if nothing had changed. “Terrance won’t have a problem with me hanging out there again all of a sudden, will he?”
“He’ll get over himself and before you ask, I’m a big girl. I know how to keep my hands to myself.”
The words settled over her, then seeped in, leaving superheated trails behind. Nina flashed back to her dream and her stomach filled with butterflies. Shouldn’t she feel guilty about all of this? She was on the cusp of ending a relationship and contemplating her attraction to someone else at the same time. Or maybe she was okay with it because the breakdown between her and Drew had more to do with them as people and their individual expectations for each other. “I know.”
“Shit. I’m not sure why I said that.”
Nina wasn’t, either. She sat on the edge of her desk. “Are you working today?”
“Kinda. I’ve got a meeting. These people want a blow by blow of what I plan to do with them day after tomorrow.”
“Anything interesting?”
“A talent show.”
She chuckled. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope. Hopefully, I can get them into pairs or small groups so they can work together and figure out what kind of skit they’re gonna do.”
“Hope everybody doesn’t just try to sing.” She laughed.
“Me, too.”
Nina glanced up and her stomach knotted for a whole different reason, because Drew stood at her classroom door. “Hey, I’ll call you later this afternoon about the drinks. Good luck with your meeting.” She didn’t mean for her tone to change.
“O...kay. Wait. Drew’s there, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“You gonna be okay?”
“I hope so.”
“Nina.”
“I meant yes.”
“I can stay on the line if you need me to.”
The concern in Maya’s voice touched her. “No, this is something I have to do myself.”
“Yeah, I can understand that. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Definitely.” Nina ended the call and met his gaze.
He smiled at her, but it disappeared in seconds. Nina motioned for him to come in, hoping she didn’t look as stressed as she felt.
“Hey,” he said as he entered.
“Morning.” Nina stood.
“I’m tired of pretending like everything’s okay.”
“I don’t want to do this at school. Allie will probably be here in ten minutes, fifteen at the most.”
Drew held up his hands as if surrendering. “Me, either. Can we talk after work?”
“Yes. My place.” She wanted to do this on her own turf, on her own terms.
He gave her that smile again, but it seemed sad. At this point, he had to know how this whole thing was going to end.
“Good morning, Ms. Sterling.” Allie was early.
They both looked at her. “Good morning, Allie,” Nina said.
Drew quietly left the room, and Nina shifted her focus to getting through the day.
**
The sound of Nina’s doorbell wasn’t a surprise. Drew had a key, but it was a good thing that he had the sense not to use it. She took a deep breath as she went to answer it. She wasn’t nervous, but she really couldn’t put a name to what she was feeling. Less than a minute later, they were standing at the kitchen table.
Drew cleared his throat. “Are we alone?”
“Yes. Rachel’s out shopping.” She sat down.
He pressed his lips together. “I expected her to be watching from the living room with a bowl of popcorn.”
Was he trying to be funny? Because he wasn’t. His statement aggravated her. “Then you don’t know me. By the way, I withdrew my name from the teachers’ committee.”
Drew p
ulled out the chair next to her and sank into it. They stared at each other. “Maybe we need to reevaluate. I mean, postpone the wedding with everything being so off between us.” His voice was soft, his face expressionless.
For some reason, she expected an apology, but she also knew she would probably never get one. “Yes.” There was no need to skirt the issue. “But it goes deeper than that.”
He closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them a few seconds later, his expression was just as blank as it was before. “Are you saying we need some time apart?”
“I’m saying that we shouldn’t be together at all,” she said, proud that her tone was firm.
“Wait. What?” His eyes widened. “I can’t believe this. Everything was perfect. We—”
“No, it wasn’t. Not for me.”
His face darkened. “This isn’t you. It’s like you’ve been taken over by pod people or something. Your mother isn’t going to like this.”
That was a strange response, but coming from him, it kind of made sense. No tears. No real outrage or anger. He’d been more emotional when she missed dinner with the principal. All of that still didn’t stop the fear that lodged in her throat as she thought about what her mother would say.
“I know, and maybe the woman you met two years ago was the pod person. Because this one right here is the real thing.”
“Well, you put on a good act, then.”
His statement opened the door to all kinds of nastiness, and she didn’t have the energy or the desire to go there with him. It wasn’t worth it. “Or maybe I finally figured it out. And I think we’ve said all we need to say to each other.” She stood. “It’s time for you to go.”
Slowly, he got up. “You’re kicking me out again? What about my stuff?”
“I’ll bring it to you at school. We can meet in the parking lot.” She escorted him to the door.
“Fine. I’ll bring your stuff, too.”
“I don’t have anything at your place.”
He tripped on something. On what she wasn’t sure, but his expression was glum. “Oh.”
Feeling more relaxed than she had in a long time, she opened the door for him.
He paused outside the door. “What am I going to tell your mom?”
She was more than a little disturbed—but not surprised—that his next stop was her mother’s house. A bit of her was grateful and relieved. Drew telling her gave Nina a chance to get out in front of the situation, but she hoped like hell they weren’t going to gang up on her. There was no way they were going to be as subtle about this as they were about the job and other things. A million words sat on the tip of her tongue, but Nina chose them carefully.
“Tell her…we don’t fit.”
Chapter 12
Maya muttered to herself as she stared at the food she’d spread out on the kitchen counter. She had the ingredients to make a mean sandwich and some margaritas, which was about the extent of her culinary expertise.
As T walked past her, he reached for the packet of ham and she smacked his hand away.
“Ow.”
“I didn’t hurt you.”
“Yes, you did. Do all the cold cuts have your name on them?” He glared at her.
“Right now they do. You can have what’s left over.”
“Left over from what?”
“Nina and Rachel are coming over.”
T stared at her for a second before he smiled. “I don’t know why I’m smiling because that’s a terrible idea. Maybe because you’re nervous and it’s cute.”
“I’m not nervous, and I’m way past cute.”
“Way past arrogant, too,” T said as he opened the fridge.
Maya shrugged. “It’s not a terrible idea.”
“Yes, it is. She’s getting married and you’re torturing yourself.”
“Not anymore. Do we have Triple Sec?”
He jerked around from the fridge. “What? What do you mean, not anymore? And I don’t know about the Triple Sec.”
“She’s not getting married. She broke things off with Drew earlier this afternoon.” Maya went to go search the liquor cabinet again. She counted backwards from ten waiting for him to respond. She got to four.
“Hold up. What?”
She moved the liquor bottles around to look behind them and finally lucked out—a half-bottle of Triple Sec tucked way in the back. T was right. She was nervous, but also filled with anticipation. She’d maintain the friendship stuff first, but a big part of her was cheering this turn of events. “I told you things weren’t going well between them.”
“I know, but damn, you work fast.”
“I didn’t do anything. You should know me better than that.”
He glanced down at his feet and then back up again. “Yeah, I do. Sorry. It’s just that you’ve been drooling over her for a long time.”
“Nothing’s changed. What happened in college was experimentation on her part.”
“Well, shit.”
“Yeah, I know.” So why was she still hoping?
He sighed. “This sounds like a ladies’ night. Should I make myself disappear?”
“No, stay. I want you and Nina to learn to get along again.”
“We get along fine when she’s not actively hurting you,” he snapped.
“I’m a big girl and can take a lot.”
“I know that, but still.”
“Still nothing. Rachel’s coming, too. Remember?”
He smiled again. “She’s...interesting.”
“Yes, she is. So is Nina.”
He snorted. “I guess. In her own way.”
In every way, as far as Maya was concerned. “Whatever. Don’t take the cold cuts until I finish making sandwiches. Or do you want one?”
“Actually, yes.”
She started making them and T helped. They talked until the doorbell rang thirty minutes later. Maya went to answer it. Nina stepped in and hugged her. Then, just as a familiar heat started in the pit of Maya’s stomach, Nina stiffened. Maya ran her hand down Nina’s back, trying to be comforting, but the way Nina shivered made her all kinds of confused.
“You okay?” Maya asked. “I know you said he wasn’t an ass, but—”
“I’m fine. I promise.”
“Well, okay. Can you move so I can get in? Maybe I want a hug, too,” Rachel interrupted.
Maya pulled away slightly. Nina rolled her eyes and smiled. They separated and Maya looked at Rachel. “Maybe I don’t want to hug you,” Maya said.
“Whatever.” Rachel stepped into the living room and wrapped her arm around Maya. “There. Consider yourself hugged by me.”
“God, do you ever turn it off?” Nina shook her head.
Rachel pressed her finger against her lips, as if thinking. “Hmm, I don’t know…no.”
Maya chuckled. “If she did, we’d know the fourth seal has broken and we’d be closer to the apocalypse.”
“Again, whatever,” Rachel said.
“Make yourself at home.” Maya grabbed Nina’s hand. “I need to borrow this one for a sec.”
Nina stared at her with wide eyes, and Maya mouthed, “It’s okay.”
Rachel raised her eyebrows like there were a million and one possibly offensive things she could add to the conversation.
Maya pointed at her. “Shut up.”
“What? I wasn’t gonna say anything.” She pretended innocence.
“Uh-huh, T’s in the basement if you get lonely.”
“Then that’s where I’ll be.”
Rachel went downstairs and Maya released Nina’s hand, but she could still feel her touch.
“Is everything okay?” Nina asked.
Maya studied her. She seemed fine physically, but she wished she had the ability to see deeper. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
Nina sat down in one of chairs lining the kitchen island. “What do you mean?”
“After the thing with Drew, I had to see for myself. Are you really okay?” She sat down next to her.
<
br /> “Yeah, I’m fine.” Nina deflated a bit. “It actually wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Like I said earlier, I’m more worried about dealing with my mother than anything else at this point.”
If Drew wasn’t in Nina’s heart, maybe there was room for Maya. Before she could stop herself, Maya reached out and brushed the side of Nina’s neck with her fingertips. “You’ll get through it.”
Nina grasped Maya’s wrist and leaned into the touch and Maya felt like she was tumbling through space, no tether and no air to breathe, but she enjoyed the hell out of it.
“God, I hope so,” she said, and something in her voice sounded different.
Maya’s heart beat in overdrive and a flush crept up Nina’s neck. Hope exploded in Maya’s chest, but a ton of questions came with it. Was Nina attracted to her? Or was she just experiencing the aftermath of her breakup with Drew? Was this real? And if it was, where the fuck was it coming from? Better yet, was Maya in some sort of alternate universe? Their gazes met, and Maya saw fear, confusion, but also heat, hot enough to scorch Maya from the inside out. Fuck, it could burn her to a crisp for all she cared.
But then doubt rushed in. They’d been here before. The situation wasn’t identical, but for Maya it was close enough. Despite her words to the contrary, Nina had to be on an emotional roller coaster after everything that had happened, and Maya wanted to take Nina higher, not just help her deal with a downward spiral.
Maya pulled away, and it was hard as hell to do so, especially since it felt like she’d left some part of herself behind. “I, uh, made sandwiches and strawberry margaritas, but we can order out if you’re really hungry.”
“I’m starving.” Nina’s voice was thick, almost hoarse.
“What are you in the mood for?” Oh. Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say. Maya swallowed, hard.
“Whatever you want.” Nina stared at her, maintaining eye contact. There was confidence behind her gaze and her words. They were both heavy with meaning, and Maya caught on immediately.
In order to maintain some self-control, Maya was the first to look away. “Chinese, then.”
“Sounds good.” This time Nina’s tone was more hesitant and her expression guarded. She pointed toward the door leading to the basement. “I’m gonna go join them. Or do you need some help up here?”
Big Girl Pill Page 15
