by Platt, Meara
He grinned. “Admit it, you enjoyed breathing me in. Are there butterflies fluttering in your stomach?”
Thousands.
“Not a one.” Fluttering implied something mild and gentle, not a wild and mad rampage, wings crashing into stomach walls. It was not the same thing at all, so it wasn’t really a lie. “Perhaps a few tingles. No fluttering.”
“Then why are your cheeks suddenly red?” He put his hand over hers to stop her from slamming shut the book. “Belle, I’d probably respond the same way if I were to breathe you in. Care to have me try?”
“No.” She looked up at him. “Are you making fun of me?”
He appeared genuinely surprised. “Of course not. I’m just as curious as you are. Do read on.”
She eyed him warily but nodded because she was also interested in learning more. “A man’s sense receptacles do not operate in quite the same way as the female’s. Nor does a man’s brain. It is very different from the female brain.” She glanced at Finn again. “That’s odd, don’t you think?”
“Not so odd. Women are far more sensible than men.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yes, Belle. Men often behave like idiots when they see a pretty face. They don’t merely stammer or behave shyly. Their brains shut down, and other body functions seem to take over. Perhaps the book will explain it better than I can.”
“Very well.” She cleared her throat and continued. “When a man looks at a woman, he is making a series of quick assessments regarding her ability to bear his children. Is she too old? Too young? Too sickly or frail? And while…”
“Belle, why have you stopped?”
How could he ask? This was her, the sickly, frail creature every man would dismiss as unsuitable. She blinked, horrified her eyes were watering. She could not cry in front of Finn. But this scientific tome was stating exactly what she’d always feared.
No man would ever want her.
“Belle?”
She turned away, trying to hide her sniffles. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Not in the least.”
She felt him take the book from her hands and pick up where she left off. “And while a man will ultimately peruse a woman’s entire body, his first gaze is on her…” Breasts. He groaned. “I always wondered about that. Dare I mention that your endowments are first-rate? Because you seem to think they are somehow inferior, or that you are somehow inferior. I assure you, neither you nor they are lacking in any way.”
“I’m sickly and frail. Isn’t this what everyone thinks?”
“I’ve told you before, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Let me continue. And don’t confuse your body parts. Lungs are not the same as your other…endowments, which as I said, are first rate.”
She snorted but had to admit his ridiculous statement had effectively stopped her tears.
“Where were we? Ah, here. And while a man will ultimately peruse a woman’s entire body, his first gaze is on her…”
“Why have you stopped reading?”
“The language is rather frank.”
“I know, but Violet was adamant that it is important. I know you are not trying to be rude. Or lewd. Read on, and if it becomes too descriptive, we’ll just read it silently together.”
“Very well,” he said, looking quite doubtful. But he nodded and continued. “And while a man will ultimately peruse a woman’s entire body, his first gaze is on her…breasts…because they are the source of life, the source of milk for his newborn children. So, if he does not like the look of them, he will pass her over as a suitable mate.”
“See, he’ll pass her over.”
“Belle, I see you are determined to be thick about this. How many times must I tell you? Lungs are not the same thing. An infant does not suckle his mother’s lung. Shall I read on? Oh, this is rich. A man’s brain functions on two levels. The low and the high. The simple and complex. When a man’s brain is at its lowest function, he is only thinking of–”
“You’ve stopped again. Thinking of what?” She peered over his arm and gasped. When a man’s brain is at its lowest function, he is only thinking of sex.
She felt herself blushing again.
Finn appeared to be uncomfortable as well, but he kept reading. “It is his simple brain at work, the one formed thousands of years ago at the dawn of Creation when men first walked the primeval earth. Very little thought occurs when the man’s sexual urges are aroused. Perhaps no thought at all.”
He glanced at her and grinned. “I can attest to that.” He shook his head, gave a groaning chuckle, and pressed on. “But that is good. It is evidence of his compelling need to breed heirs with any fertile female he comes across.”
“Fertile? Breeding?” She looked at him in dismay. “Finn, stop a moment. Please.”
He sighed. “This book is a little too descriptive for my tastes. I can assure you, I do not intend to chase the female population of London. Nor do I regard women as broodmares. Do you want to give up on the book entirely?”
Were it any other man, her answer would be yes. But she felt safe with Finn and couldn’t explain why. Nor did she wish to end their meeting, which is what would happen once they stopped reading. “Violet warned this first chapter was a bit scandalous. I had no idea how scandalous. Let’s get through it as fast as possible and move on to the other chapters. She insists the observations about the five senses are very interesting, but she stressed this first chapter was important in order to understand why men and women look at things differently.”
“Very well. I will say this is far more entertaining than reviewing a financial report. I had no idea men had two brains. That explains a lot about the mistakes we make, ones a woman would never make with the one brain she’s been given. However, I don’t know if I would consider us as having two brains, for this simple brain is little more than a hunger impulse. Perhaps more of a device that shuts off the workings of the male brain when it is starved of something it desires. But the author has obviously given thought to the feelings that compel us to do whatever it is we do.”
Since the book was still open, Belle leaned over his arm and perused the next paragraph as he began to read it aloud. “Love is a higher function of the brain. The important function that makes a man feel the need to protect his family. Wife and offspring. Otherwise, he’d merely spill his seed and then move on, leaving them to be eaten by wolves.”
He paused a long moment, as though considering the statement. Belle was not surprised. The need to protect was strongly ingrained in Finn. Obviously, in Romulus as well, for he hadn’t hesitated to protect Violet from scandal.
“But that is why man has been given a higher brain, to enable him to love. However, before he reaches that upper function of intelligence, the man must first be attracted to the female on the simple brain level.”
He paused once more and stared at her. “Well, aren’t you going to ask me?”
She frowned. “Ask you what?”
He cast her another of those tenderly affectionate smiles, so that she could not remain irritated with him, even though he was having too much fun reading through the naughty bits of the chapter. “Ask me whether I’m attracted to you on a simple brain level.”
She felt the heat rise in her cheeks again. Would reading this book be a constant source of embarrassment? Violet had assured the wisdom imparted was fascinating and ought to be taken to heart. “Are you attracted to me, Finn?”
“Yes, Belle.”
“Why?”
He arched an eyebrow. “I couldn’t tell you. That’s the beauty of the simple brain. It just knows. Perhaps you and I will understand it better after we finish reading this book. Shall we read on? I think we’ll have time to get through the next chapter as well. That one is about the sense of sight.”
She nodded. “Violet says we often ignore what is before our very eyes. The strength of this book is it teaches us to really see what is in front of us and not formulate judgments about what we hope or expe
ct to see. I think your financial training has given you a clarity of thought that few people can boast of.”
“I don’t know. Looking at numbers is quite a different thing from looking at people.”
“But you seem to understand the nature of men.”
He laughed. “Human nature does not change. The same sins apply to those living in the time of Ovid as those living in Shakespeare’s day. Move forward about two hundred years, and here we are, sinning just as we have always done. Nothing has changed. Whether two thousand years, two hundred years, or two years ago, men still covet other men’s wives and will commit adultery to satisfy their urges. People still lie, steal, even commit murder. Kings and politicians still seek to grab power. Jealousy and greed are as common today as they have ever been.”
“My uncle often says people don’t change, that a mean-spirited child will become a mean-spirited adult, and a good, generous child will become a good and generous adult.”
“What do you see when you look at me, Belle?” He’d set the book aside and once more had his elbows propped on the back of the bench. Although his demeanor was casual, she sensed her answer was important to him.
She was afraid to tell him the truth but knew if he was to trust her now, and especially once they were in Oxford, she could only ever be honest with him. “I…” Her cheeks were in flames again. “I think you are very handsome.” The most handsome man she’d ever met, but she was fairly new to London and hadn’t the opportunity to meet the full crop of eligible young men yet.
However, she doubted any were better than Finn. “It isn’t merely your classical good looks. It’s the depth of intelligence in your eyes. It’s the kindness in your smile. You are not haughty or puffed up in any way despite your obvious talent with all matters financial.”
He chuckled. “There are eight Brayden boys, brothers and cousins. If one of us ever gets too full of himself, the others are there to knock sense into him. Our parents referred to us as the wildebeests when we were younger.”
“Why is that?”
“They claimed we were wild as beasts.”
She smiled. “Were you?”
“Yes, without a doubt. But to this day, as hard as we were and still are on each other, we will always band together to protect each other. Only we can beat each other up. Any outsider who tries it had better beware. He will find himself facing a wall of Braydens.”
“Indeed, an impenetrable stone wall. You are all quite big. It’s hard not to imagine you as Roman gladiators, fearless and ready to crush all opponents with your massive strength.” When she’d lost her breath at Lady Dayne’s party and collapsed in the garden, Finn had lifted her in his arms and carried her indoors as though she weighed no more than a feather. Even in her dizzy state, she’d noticed the breadth of his chest and shoulders and the strength in his arms.
If she were to wrap both hands around his arm, she doubted her fingers would fully reach around. “How do you stay fit when your work is relatively sedentary?” she asked, truly puzzled because his lean, muscled body surely took more than moderate activity to maintain.
Then again, it was possible Finn was part man and part Greek god.
“I enjoy spending time at our country home. There’s always plenty of physical work to do, clearing the fields, maintaining our barns and the homes of our tenant farmers, and repairing the grist mill. Even when at rest, we rarely stay idle. My brothers and I can usually be found riding across the countryside or swimming in our pond, or just pushing ourselves to exhaustion. If my father could have given us swords and shields and trained us as medieval knights, he would have. But my mother would have had him sleeping in the barn with the plow horses if she’d caught him.”
“Goodness, we were raised so differently. The household would be in an uproar if Honey or I so much as skinned a knee or chipped a fingernail. After my first breathing attack, they decided we ought to spend more time in Oxford to be closer to doctors. Our father and uncle, my mother’s brother, that is. Well, my father and uncle were trying to build up the perfume shops anyway, so we moved closer to town. Honey and I didn’t mind because our mother often took us along with her to our main shop. She helped run it. She would put us in the back room to keep us out of the way, but that’s where the various test fragrances were stored.”
“And you began to mix and match them? Is this how they discovered your talent?”
She nodded. “I’m told my grandmother had the same ability, but she died when we were very young, so we never really knew her. The family had been trying to perfect a particular scent and couldn’t figure out what was missing. I was playing around one day. I reduced some ingredients, then added a bit of essence of orange blossom. That perfume became our top seller. The adults thought it was sheer luck at first, but when I did it again, they took notice.”
“Do you enjoy it, Belle?”
“Yes, for many reasons.” He appeared to be listening intently and not at all bored, so she continued. “It is flattering to know that I excel at this one thing, but it also warms my heart that I can do something to help the family. There were years when my father and uncle struggled. They were too proud to ask for help from the Farthingale cousins who had made quite a name for themselves in mercantile. Uncle John’s was the successful branch of the family. John and his brothers, Rupert, George, and Harrison. George went on to become a doctor, but the other brothers stayed in the business and worked to make it thrive. Rupert and Harrison often traveled to distant lands to find new fabrics, while John remained in England to run their home operation. Then Harrison went off to fight in Napoleon’s war.” A lump formed in her throat. “He died.”
She paused a moment, recalling how badly Harrison’s death had affected all of them. He had been a good man, so full of cheer and kindness. He’d left behind a young wife and baby. Of course, Farthingales took care of their own. Julia and little Harry would always be provided for and protected by the family.
Finn’s hand covered hers. “It is one of the harsh realities of war. Innocent people die, good soldiers die or come home so badly wounded, they have trouble fitting in at home. This happened to my cousin, James.”
“The Earl of Exmoor?”
“Yes, but his wealth and title did not protect him from the ravages of battle. Fortunately, he met and married Sophie Wilkinson, the sister of one of his friends who’d died while fighting alongside him.” He removed his hand from hers and shook his head. “This discussion is getting too somber, Belle. Let’s get back to the book and talk of love.”
He read through the chapter on the sense of sight, then paused as he neared the end of it. “Care to know what I see when I look at you?”
“No.” Belle shook her head quite vigorously. “You have to be honest with me, and I’m not certain I am thick-skinned enough to take it.”
“Coward. I’m going to tell you anyway. I’ve already mentioned that I think you are pretty. According to this book, my simple brain made this assessment by a quick perusal of your body. But my brain may respond this way to many females.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know if that’s true. You did something to me the moment I saw you.”
“I did?”
“I couldn’t look at anyone else after I set eyes on you. I’m still not sure why I responded to you the way I did. If this is merely a function of a simple, unthinking brain, then I should have been able to move on to ogle the other young ladies at Lady Dayne’s tea.”
“Didn’t you?”
He cast her a wistful smile. “No. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Discretely, of course. Even when I wasn’t looking, I wondered what you were doing and who you were speaking to.”
“Why didn’t you simply ask one of the family to introduce me to you?”
He laughed. “I was about to do just that when you disappeared from the parlor. To be honest, I wasn’t certain I wanted to talk to you that afternoon. Well, I did want to. But not before I had my own feelings under control. You see, I wasn’t used to
approaching a young woman who intrigued me as much as you did. I hadn’t yet figured out how to dazzle you with my charm and brilliance. That’s when I stepped into the garden to collect my thoughts and decide what to say to you.”
She winced. “Ah, yes. That was some introduction. I’m so sorry. I shall never forgive myself for the chaos I caused.”
“It’s the mark of a Farthingale, isn’t it? Creating havoc and mayhem out of the most innocent situations.” Chuckling, he took her hand again. “Do you wish to know what I thought of you afterward?”
“No, but I see you’re going to tell me.”
“I am.” His gaze turned smoldering.
The lovely warmth already spreading through her body turned fiery.
He leaned so close, his lips were almost touching her ear. She felt his soft breath against her lobe. “What I thought was…this will make a good story to tell our grandchildren.”
She leaped off the bench. “Our grandchildren?”
He rose along with her, careful to set the book aside. Goodness, what was it about him? He made her heart ache with yearning for what could never be. “Oh, Finn! Don’t you see what’s happening? It’s that book. It is already casting its spell over you.”
“Belle, I vow you are the most thick-headed young lady in existence. That book is just a book. Nothing more.”
“But you said our grandchildren.”
He nodded. “That’s right.”
“Which implies we’ll have children.”
“I hope so.”
“Which means…”
“Marriage, Belle. I hope you don’t think I intended to take you on as my mistress. That will never happen.”
She rolled her eyes and scurried around him to stuff the book back in its cloth wrapping. “Don’t say another word. You’ll regret it once you come to your senses. I’m returning this thing to Violet. Good riddance to it.”
“You’ll do nothing of the sort. Why do you think it is so impossible that a man would wish to marry you?”
Pain flashed in her eyes. “A handsome, brilliant, splendidly gorgeous, and perfect-in-every-way man like you? You are straight out of a dream. Men like you don’t fall in love with girls like me.”
