Once he was sure Lorcan was settled, he headed into the center of the pack. Lorcan would be hungry when he woke up, and Knox needed Orion to check his work on the boundary. If he confirmed that it would mask the gap, Knox might get a good night’s sleep for once.
His head swam a little as he walked, but he shook it off and kept moving. Things to do, people to see. The sun was setting, a chill in the air. A shirt might have been nice, but he was running low on those. He didn’t see Orion, but he found Gage and Asher sitting outside the pack house, drinking homemade beer.
“Ronan finished another batch, huh? How’s it taste?”
“Worse than the last,” Gage said with a grimace, draining the end of his cup.
“But alcohol is alcohol,” Asher added.
Gage gave Knox a measured look. “You’re calmer than I thought you’d be after today.”
“Lorcan did some druid magic to hide the break in the boundary. Can you ask Orion to check it out, if he’s up to it?” He directed his request to Asher.
“He’s sleeping right now. I’ll let him know when he wakes up.”
“I’ll go along with him. I’d like to see what Lorcan can do.”
Gage’s skepticism would have matched Knox’s from a few hours ago. But now he had seen what Lorcan was capable of. More than that, he’d felt it.
“If Lorcan is right, it’s impassable to anyone that’s not him or me. At least, I think so. We didn’t talk specifics.”
“If it’s true, then that’s impressive. If it’s true.”
“Seeing is believing.” Knox turned and strolled away, headed for the kitchen.
Raymond was cooking up a storm.
“Smells amazing, Ray.”
“The hunters got a stag. We’ll eat well this week.”
“Good. Need something hearty for Lorcan. The magic he did today really took it out of him.”
Raymond grinned. “Got to feed you up too, then, right? You come as a pair, wolf and mage.”
“I’m fine.”
“Uh-huh. That’s why you’re using the wall to hold yourself up.”
Knox pushed upright at the wolf’s words, grimacing when his head spun again. Grumbling under his breath, he resumed his leaning.
“Long nights, long days. You know how it goes.”
“Running yourself ragged to protect us. Yeah, I know how it goes. We don’t take it for granted, Knox.”
He handed over one huge bowl of stew with two thick hunks of bread. Knox accepted them with a nod of thanks and took off for the hut. Lorcan was still dead to the world when he got there, but Knox didn’t want him to wake up to a cold meal. He set the food down and knelt on the edge of the bed.
“Lorcan, time to eat,” he called softly.
The mage didn’t wake, though his nose twitched.
Knox tickled his chin. “Come and get it. Or I’ll eat yours and mine.”
Lorcan cracked an eye open. “What smells so good?”
“Raymond’s stew. Hungry?”
The mage sat up. “Starving.”
Knox nodded to the food on the table.
“We got the sharing bowl. You can eat first.”
“Or we could eat together?” Lorcan suggested groggily. “Maybe outside? Fresh air might wake me up.”
Knox managed to get both mage and food outside. The two of them sat on the ground, their backs against the hut, eating spoonfuls of stew and dipping chunks of bread into the flavorful gravy.
“Is this the nicest thing I’ve ever tasted, or am I just that hungry?” Lorcan mused.
“Bit of both.”
He wiped a drop of gravy from Lorcan’s chin, sucking it off his thumb. Lorcan’s eyes were drawn to his mouth by the simple gesture, the mage’s eyes lighting up in interest.
“I guess this is as close to a romantic dinner as we’re likely to get, huh?”
“Moonlight, stars… What’s not romantic about it?”
“No candles, no flowers. No dessert…” Lorcan trailed off, looking thoughtful, and then pressed his hand to the ground. Knox felt the slightest tremble of magic, something passing through the soil beneath them and mingling the air around them.
“What was that?”
Lorcan just shrugged, taking another spoonful of stew and making sinful noises of appreciation. But Knox wasn’t so easily dissuaded. He peered around suspiciously, trying to figure out what that little pulse of magic had done. It was the sweet scent that tipped him off. He glanced up to find that the trees above them, the ones whose buds were weeks from blooming, were dotted with beautiful flowers. And then through the trees came the fireflies, dancing in the air around them.
“Better than candles, huh?” Lorcan’s smile was bright, his eyes lit up with mischief.
“You shouldn’t waste magic on parlor tricks.”
Lorcan’s smile faded, and he glanced away. “Oh. Sorry.”
Knox winced and took a deep breath, trying something he didn’t often stoop to—an apology.
“No, I’m sorry. That was harsh. It’s just that magic is so hard to come by for us. It feels… wasteful.”
“Well, it’s second nature to me. I can’t change it. Magic is who I am. I use it to bring light to life. Pack life seems grim enough without having to let go of the little things that make me happy.”
It was Knox’s turn to look away. “Yeah, I can only imagine how we look to you. Scraping out an existence, barely able to keep the shirts on our backs. You could do a lot better. And I don’t mean as a sorcerer.”
Lorcan had the kind of power that Orion had possessed in his prime. Power they needed, but maybe power they didn’t deserve.
“You’re a little rough and ready,” Lorcan admitted. “But I’m no pampered sorcerer, Knox. Druids live pretty simple lives. It’s not all fireflies and roses. We strive to provide for ourselves, to work with the land for what we need, and to give back what we don’t. I’ve never wanted to be coddled or spoiled.”
Knox met Lorcan’s gaze, surprised at the intensity of the emotion in the mage’s eyes.
“What did you want? Because it sure as hell wasn’t this.” He gestured to the woods around them.
“I—”
Lorcan faltered.
“What?” Knox pressed.
“You have to understand, we carry the mage mark from birth. They were afraid they’d lose me if anyone ever found out.”
Which was exactly what had come to pass when Lorcan’s sorcerer relatives had discovered the truth.
“So…” Knox prompted.
“They tried to shield me from the world. All they wanted was to protect me.”
“That’s what family does, I guess.”
“All I’ve wanted, for the longest time, as far back as I can remember, was to get out and see the world. I longed to explore, to leave behind the safety of our home.”
“What stopped you?”
He already knew the answer, but he asked the question anyway.
“Fear. Not just that they were right about the terrible things that might befall me if my mage nature was discovered. Fear of the pain that I would cause them by leaving. It’s not in a druid’s nature to cause harm, Knox. Leaving would have hurt them, even though I knew…”
“You knew it was what you had to do.”
The mage mark was more than just a tattoo on Lorcan’s skin. It was a destiny. It tied him irrevocably to the magic of shifters. The moon had called him out into the world so that he could find his place within it.
“But I didn’t choose to leave. Somehow, being torn away was worse. So much hurt and pain. A tear in my heart that I can never mend.”
Lorcan wasn’t one to exaggerate, and yet there was a tinge of melodrama to his words.
“I’m sure when you visit them, things will feel right again,” Knox said.
Lorcan’s eyes went wide. “Visit?”
“Uh-huh. Orion visited his family twice a year before he was the only mage we had left. They’re pretty far away, or he might have gone more
often. That, and they’re a testy bunch—I think he likes the distance. But if your family is closer, it’ll be easier. Once we’re fully bonded, you could go see them, or maybe they could come here. It’s Gage’s call, but he’s never stopped Orion or the others from maintaining their links with home. How else would the magic community see how well we care for our mages?”
“But I thought once a mage left their family, they never returned. That’s what my mother always said. That’s what the Warrens told me too. That I had to forget my past.”
Knox shrugged tightly. “Some packs do that, insist all ties are cut. I guess it’s a good way to hide how they treat their mages. We’re not like that.”
“Yeah, you don’t have any mages.”
Knox almost snorted with laughter. He was ready to argue the point he was trying to make when he heard people approaching.
“Visitors incoming.”
Lorcan glanced around. “Who?”
Knox canted his head to the side, scenting the air. “Orion and Asher.”
The two made their slow approach, sitting on the grass beside them. Orion leaned heavily into Asher’s embrace, his breathing labored.
“We’ve just been viewing your work, Lorcan,” Asher said while Orion was still catching his breath.
Lorcan flushed under their gazes. “I know it’s not much, not what the pack needs.”
Orion looked bemused. “I was quite impressed, actually. From what Asher said, I understood that you’d merely hidden the breach from view. Imagine my surprise to see how seamlessly you’d integrated your magic with the boundary. There is hope for you yet as Knox’s mate.”
Knox turned to look at Lorcan. “You said you couldn’t…”
Lorcan shook his head. “I didn’t…”
“Didn’t what?” Orion asked smoothly. “What’s wrong?”
Lorcan glanced uncertainly at Knox before speaking. “All I did was hide the breach from view. My magic filled the gap in the boundary, but I still don’t know how to fuse it with the sorcerer magic.”
Orion’s confusion only deepened.
“Well, I’m telling you now, it is fused. You’ve sealed the breach, and the only trace left that there even was a gap is the transition from sorcerer magic to druid.”
“But that makes no sense,” Lorcan argued. “The two magics aren’t compatible. There’s nothing to bind them...”
The thought occurred to Knox at the same moment it did Lorcan, the two of them staring at one another.
“My blood…”
Lorcan turned to Orion. “I used Knox’s blood to acclimate him to the magic, so he could pass through what I’d created. Could that have done it?”
A slow smile crossed Orion’s face. “Pack is what binds us together. Knox is the boundary, Lorcan. His wolf, his life force. So yes, his blood could have bound the two magics together.”
“The more important question is,” Asher added, “can you do it again?”
17
Knox insisted that they both get a few hours of sleep before they returned to the boundary. Lorcan tried to argue, but his constant yawning ruined the effect.
“Your body needs a chance to recover. Working yourself to the bone won’t help anyone.”
“Says the guy who hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in all the time I’ve known him.”
“Yeah, well. Do as I say, not as I do. Or something like that. Come on.”
Lorcan let Knox wrestle him into bed. As always, the alpha insisted on taking the outside and settling him closest to the wall. The foot of space between them suddenly felt like a chasm. Lorcan shuffled across the small bed, needing to be closer to the alpha. Knox, who’d been facing the door, twisted around to peer at him.
“You okay?”
Unsure how to explain that a few inches between them was too much, he shrugged.
Knox snorted and rolled over toward him. His hands deftly maneuvered Lorcan until he was curled on his side, with Knox spooned against his back.
“Better?”
“Yeah.” Lorcan sighed happily, shutting his eyes as the warmth of Knox’s body enveloped him.
It was still dark when he woke, aware that Knox was no longer beside him. He rolled onto his back and found the wolf sitting on the edge of the bed. Knox’s hands were pressed against his knees, fingers digging into the skin. His shoulders were heaving—he was breathing hard.
“Knox?”
Lorcan reached out, fingers clasping Knox’s shoulder, and he was thrown once more into the vision he’d seen previously. A wolf’s body, mutilated and torn apart. Blood painting the forest. Knox’s horror and revulsion, the sharp guilt that ate away at him. The sensations faded slowly as he came back to earth.
He sat up and slipped behind Knox, kneeling on the bed. There were no words to take away the pain of the memory, to ease Knox’s suffering. All he could do was give comfort. With a soft sigh, he pressed against Knox’s back and wrapped his arms around the alpha’s chest. Knox’s instinct was to push him away, but Lorcan just held on tighter. He was where he was supposed to be, doing what he was supposed to do. He knew that, and on some level, Knox knew it too. But the alpha was just stubborn enough to try to reject him.
“You shouldn’t,” Knox ground out. “This is a burden I carry alone.”
“Joel.”
“Yes. My fault, my failings…” Knox tried to shrug him off again.
Lorcan couldn’t leave the wolf to suffer alone, but how could he convince him to accept the offered comfort?
“Sometimes, when I touch you, I see him.”
Knox went stiff, a line of tension running right down his body. “What?”
“Joel. I see his body, in the forest.”
“You’re a seer?” Knox asked sharply, his brow furrowed.
“No, I’m a druid. We get… visions, sometimes. It’s nowhere near as powerful as clairvoyancy. It never happened to me before I met you. Strong emotions can trigger them, or tragic events. Unexpected things. Since I’ve been with you, it’s happened a few times. Always the same. That’s how I knew to ask about Joel.”
“You’ve seen his body? What was done to him?”
“Y—yes.” His voice cracked as he swallowed through the lurch of his stomach. It wasn’t just an image; his visions came in full Technicolor—sight, smell, sound. The anguished howl of Knox’s wolf.
“I don’t understand…”
“I’m seeing what you saw. Seeing through your eyes.”
“Why?” Knox turned his head to stare at Lorcan over his shoulder.
Lorcan shrugged helplessly. There were no easy answers. “It’s important, I guess. Maybe because it’s what set you on the path to find me. If he hadn’t been killed, would you have stolen me from Maken Pack?”
Knox turned away, and a heavy silence followed. He covered Lorcan’s hands with one of his own.
“No. He was the reason I decided it was worth the risk. But you shouldn’t have to see that.”
“If I hadn’t asked, would you have told me about him?”
“Never.”
Lorcan screwed up his courage and came clean.
“I was planning to run again. Before I knew, before I understood how desperate your situation was. I think I had to know just how bad things were, how much I was needed here.”
Knox finally moved, climbing back into the bed so they could sit face to face. His eyes were troubled, but his expression was strangely blank.
“And now? Still thinking of running?”
“The thought crosses my mind now and then. I—I miss home. This place is still new. I worry that I can’t live up to your expectations. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been really bad at that so far.”
He hadn’t meant to be quite so honest, but it was hard to lie to Knox’s face with the alpha so raw, his emotions laid bare.
Knox’s hand found his shoulder, his touch warm. “You’ve exceeded all my expectations.”
“Before yesterday, when I accidentally fixed the boundary?�
��
“Before then.”
“But you were all ready to give me up to another alpha.”
Knox let his hand fall, and he looked away, his expression dark.
“For the good of the pack, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do. At least, I believed there wasn’t. But it’s not so simple, not when it comes to you. You belong to me somehow, I know that. Just seeing Declan near you made me want to rip his throat out. I’m no fan of Declan’s, but my wolf has never harbored murderous intentions toward him before. It scared me—how strong my feelings are, what I’m prepared to do for you. To keep you.”
Lorcan met Knox’s raw honesty with some of his own.
“When we met Winnie watching the cubs… I’ve never felt jealousy like that before. I hated her, and I don’t even know her.”
“Wait, you thought Winnie and I were…” Knox seemed torn between horror and amusement.
“You and she were very… hands-on. Besides, Colt had a girlfriend. It didn’t seem impossible that I was a means to an end for you. That you’d do what you had to do to keep me in line and go home to her when you wanted companionship. For all I knew, that was where you went the days you didn’t come home to sleep.”
“You really believed…” Knox’s expression turned angry.
“I know it’s not true. At least, I know now. You’re running yourself into the ground to keep the pack safe from harm. You don’t have the time or energy for a girlfriend on the side.”
Knox laughed, throwing an arm around Lorcan and tugging him roughly against him. “At least I’m not the only one who’s possessive.”
“Damn straight. You’re mine, and I won’t share you.” As he said it, Lorcan realized it was true. Somehow, he’d laid claim to this wolf just as surely as Knox had done to him. Bite or no bite, their futures were intertwined.
Lorcan ate breakfast with Knox, thinking over his next steps. He’d planned to go right back to the boundary and start work, but he had questions that needed answering. For one, the boundary was huge. It would take a long time, and a lot of magic, to reinforce all of it. And then there was the question of Knox. Lorcan needed his blood to make the magic work.
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